Chapter Three
Aria
I was walking out of class, disgruntled again from the second encounter in a row with my Statistics professor. It was beginning to be an every-class thing. Then, I heard someone call my name.
Dick.
“Excuse me?” a blond guy of medium build said.
I may have said Dick out loud. “That’s your name, isn’t it?”
“It’s Rick. But thanks,” my ex-boyfriend grinned. “I’ve been meaning to run into you, Aria.”
“Oh, that’s neat. You don’t even have any classes in the Econ and Finance building. I suppose this is a ‘run-in’ and not a stalking attempt. Go away, Dick,” I said, walking on.
He ran after me. “Listen, I tried calling you a bunch of times.”
I turned around and snapped, “Right. And me completely not answering any of those gazillion phone calls over the last few months did not give you the slightest hint that I want nothing to do with you?”
“It did, but I am still here, doesn’t that say something?”
“Yes, it says it’s really late and I have to get out of here. You’re just a dirty scumbag who cheated on me on our anniversary and is now stalking me outside of an evening class.”
“You never even gave me a chance to explain!” He was shouting now.
“Explain! What the hell is there to explain, Dick? I saw everything that needed to be seen. Do I care about your made-up sob story where you were doing a dying girl a favor or any kind of other bullshit that you can come up with? No.”
“But you still care about me! Or you wouldn’t be this angry,” he had the nerve to say.
I could almost slap him in that moment, and tried to ease my trembling fingers. “I cared about you once. You know that. But you hurt me, Ricky. It took me a very long time to recover from that. Of course I’m still angry for what you did to me! But that in no way indicates any remaining feelings for you. I have really, truly moved on, and I suggest you do the same. Though let’s be honest, you kind of already had before we even broke up.”
He sighed. “I am really, really sorry, Aria. I am not going to stand here and give you a long and twisted version of a lie you aren’t going to believe. I fucked up, plain and simple. I don’t have some grandiose reasoning behind it; I was just a stupid kid thinking with everything other than my head. And Sally – the girl you found me with – had been going after me for months, and I just lost control.”
“I’m sorry for you and your inability to keep it in your pants, but I am not sure how this is supposed to make anything better.”
“It’s not. None of it is supposed to make it any better. All I wanted to say was that I am truly sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever been sorrier about anything in my life. And I would have to be really stupid to think you’d ever give me another chance. I know I don’t deserve one, and you deserve better.”
“Yeah? Then why are you still here?”
“Because I love you.” He shrugged. “I have never loved anyone before or after you. You were the most inspiring person in my life, never letting me down, always supporting me through the hardest of times. And I let all that go, for what?” He shook his head.
“But I don’t love you anymore,” I said softly.
A frown fell across his face. “I know,” he said after a few moments. “I know that. Maybe we can still… I don’t know… be friends?”
“Why? What does that accomplish?”
“I get to be around the most amazing girl I have ever met, and have her in my life in some capacity, even though I will know for sure that it’s never ever going to be more than that.”
I sighed. “Never ever.”
“Ever?” He was breaking out a tiny smile.
“Never!” I said more loudly.
“Friends?” He gave me his hand and I took it reluctantly.
“Friends. But I have to go now. Lots to do tonight, need to drop by home and then go to the bank—”
Shouldn’t have said that last part, cause he raised his eyebrows questioningly. “Why are you going to the bank this late?”
“I forgot my…” I saw my phone prodding out of my bag. “Phone…charger! I forgot my phone charger there!”
Phew. That was a close one. I needed to be more careful about disclosing my whereabouts, especially when it concerned my super-secret rendezvous with the owner and CEO of a giant bank chain.
“But I’ll see you later?” Rick was still talking as I started storming off before I could say too much more.
“Sure,” I said, without even looking back, and dashed out of there as fast as I could.
I heard him say, 'I’ll hold you to that.”
Great, now I had unintentionally agreed to hang out with him. Oh well, it couldn’t be that bad. I was far too invested in Zayden to be won over by Dick-Rick’s attempts to get me back. And it really sounded like he needed a friend, so whatever, I could handle an afternoon coffee or something. I’d deal with him when I dealt with him. Right now, I had to rush home, change into sexier clothes, and go see Zayden. I couldn’t wait.
---
Stacey was waiting for me in the living room when I got home. We hadn’t really talked since our last fight, regarding her helping Zayden. We said hello here and there when we ran into each other in the kitchen, but mostly communicated via Nick, who was getting increasingly frustrated with what he called our girlish ways.
“Hi,” she said awkwardly as soon as I walked in through the front door.
“Hi,” I said back, not looking at her. Stacey and I hadn’t fought in a long time, so I wasn’t quite sure how to approach the situation now. There was also the tiny inconvenience of timing; I was supposed to meet Zayden almost 10 minutes ago. Which I couldn’t tell her, because I had yet to tell her about my sexcapades, for the fear of the inevitable I-told-you-so.
“I’m sorry,” we both said in unison. And then I just wanted to hug her and have my best friend back and tell her about the amazing things that had happened to me. I didn’t even care about the I-told-you-so anymore, I had missed her too much. I jumped on the couch next to her and hugged her against her will. Stacey wasn’t a touchy-feely person, but over the years, she started secretly enjoying being forced into a hug by me. She’d never admit it, though.
“You were right,” were the first words that came out of my mouth. “You were absolutely, 100 percent right. Zayden makes me happy. Thank you for seeing it before I did, Stace.”
“No, no, no,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean, I am glad you think so and are happy now, but I shouldn’t have gone behind your back like that, solely based on what I thought was best for you.”
“Come on, Stace, let’s be honest, when have you been wrong about what’s best for me?”
“Never,” she said, and grinned. “But that’s not the point.”
“It is though. You were right about Ricky-Dick and you were right about Zayden.”
After a few moments of gathering courage, I said, “There is something I have to tell you about Zayden.”
She immediately jumped upright upon hearing that, and her eyes widened to the size of walnuts. “Aria Roberts, you didn’t!”
“I haven’t even told you what it is that I am talking about!” I exclaimed, even though by now we both knew that nothing needed to be said.
“What? When? How? Where? Tell me everything,” she shrieked.
“Can I give you a quick summary? I kind of have plans to go see him.” I checked my watch. “Like 15 minutes ago.”
She gasped. “So you’ve been doing it this whole time?”
“No, no no, only once. In his office. Last week. Maybe tonight.” I started thinking back to that night and hugged my own knees. “It was amazing! He was…incredible. If that is what real sex feels like, I am surprised people ever get out of their houses.” I surveyed her from top to bottom. “Like, I am surprised you’re out here with me and not jumping Nick’s bones right now.”
She laughed. “Oh you poor, child. I hate to be the one to ruin Christmas, but it’s not always perfect and amazing and wonderful. Especially not the first time, not for most girls, anyway. You got lucky. Zayden must’ve known what he was doing.”
I was still hiding the fact that I lost virginity to a random guy after Rick broke up with me. She’d never let me live it down if she knew.
“Are you saying Nick doesn’t?” I teased.
“Of course he does. I mean, we are great and everything and I love him. It’s not perfect every single time though. And after dating for as long as we have, it kind of gets old a little bit.”
My face fell. “Are you guys having trouble?”
“No, no, no. Not at all! Like I said, it’s still pretty good, just not the same as what you described. Nick and I keep it interesting by doing new things—“
“I didn’t need to know that,” I laughed.
“Not like that. I mean we are saving ourselves for our anniversary now. It’s been almost a month, and that kind of stuff makes it exciting. What I am trying to tell you is that you shouldn’t let yourself think that sex is always going to be like, perfect, every time. It gets both better and worse with time, and since Zayden sounds like he is pretty damn good, you might be disappointed in other men,” she said and hastily added, “if there ever are any. I mean if this doesn’t work out… I mean, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go there.”
I felt a strange bubble of sadness start to build in my chest. “It’s okay, I know this is not going to work out. I mean it’s still just a contract, and after six months all of this will be over. I have pretty much accepted that.”
She hugged me this time, which was such a rare occurrence that I let out a slight chuckle. “Please don’t get hurt,” she said.
“I don’t want to and I’ll try not to.” I shrugged. “But—“
“But you’re falling for this guy?” She asked.
I was not ready to accept this, and the question made me feel heavy in my chest. I was not supposed to be. I knew what the deal was, I knew what I was getting myself into and this was never a part of the plan. There was no reason in the world that I should be letting my emotions get out of control, given the possible consequences, but here I was, completely and utterly gripped by the charms of a man who I knew from the get-go was never going to be mine to keep.
“I’m falling hard, Stacey. Ugh. I just want to be able to have fun for now and deal with what happens when it happens. If only I could make these feelings stop.”
“Then have fun! You haven’t freely enjoyed your life like this in a long time. You don’t know what he’s thinking! Maybe he’s feeling the exact same way. You trust my intuitions, right? I have a great feeling about this guy, I think he’s going to be around for a long time.”
“But what if he’s not? What if you’re wrong?”
“Then I will buy you 10 gallons of ice cream and we’ll eat it all and watch “Friends” marathons until your heart heals. Even if that means we are confined to this living room forever.” She smiled.
I giggled. “You’re the best friend ever. Thank you, Stace. I’m sorry again. I really missed you!”
“I did, too,” she said pulling me off the couch. “Now go put on a sexy dress and have what you call amazing sex. There will be a long interrogation about it later.”
Interrogation? That wasn’t going to happen.
---
When I finally made it to the bank, I was ridden with excitement. This would be the first time we were alone together since we had sex. Outside the bank I removed my travel mirror from my purse and checked my appearance. I looked decent enough, and had a lingering suspicion that he would think so even if I showed up in a rag. I walked into the bank and rushed towards Zayden’s office, but halted right outside. He was on the phone, yelling at somebody.
“I just can’t fucking deal with this right now, don’t you get it?” He was shouting. I had never seen him so angry before. He was holding a stress ball and looked about ready to squish it into tiny little pieces.
“I understand that,” he snapped on the phone. “How many times do I have to explain myself, though? I know, I get it, but I can’t deal with this right now, what don’t you get?”
Feeling suddenly nervous, I wondered if this was a good time at all. Maybe I should have stayed home and cancelled; maybe he should have cancelled. I wasn’t sure I wanted to meddle with…whatever it was that was going on.
“We will talk on Tuesday. No, next Tuesday. I am hanging up now,” he barked, almost crushing the stress ball.
I waited a few minutes before striding in, convincing myself that I would make him feel better, regardless of what was bothering him. He had helped me with my mother’s bills, I couldn’t run now when he seemed to be having such a rough time.
With that determination, I entered Zayden’s office, startling him.