Sebastian may have tied my hands, but I’m going to use what he likes seeing most—the idea of me bound and under his control—to drive him insane with want. When the music starts and the heavy, sensual beat begins to thump through me, I quickly set the toe of my right shoe on the seat between Sebastian’s thighs to throw him off. To his credit, he doesn’t flinch, but instead his dark eyebrow elevates in appreciation.
Emboldened by the heat in his gaze, I trace my bound hands sensually over my knee and along my inner thigh, sliding my skirt halfway up.
As the music’s first few lyrics slide out of the speakers like a raw, erotic whisper vibrating along my skin, my breathing ramps and I take a step back, offering Sebastian the full view of the long lines the sexy heels give my legs. Resting my bound wrists against my right hip, I begin to move my pelvis in a seductive sexual roll.
The left corner of Sebastian’s mouth quirks. His thoughts are written all over his face; I want to fuck you. Primal and hard. Come closer and let me show you.
Thankful I wore my hair down, I look over my shoulder through the red curtain as I pivot in a slow, undulating circle, moving my hips and body to the arousing bass.
Once my back is to him, I grasp the trailing ends of his tie in my hand and snap it against the outside of my upper thigh.
When Sebastian’s nostrils flare and his hands clamp onto his thighs, I mentally celebrate the feeling of triumph that rushes across my skin, flushing my cheeks with warmth. It makes me brave and I move closer. Swaying my hips in moves worthy of a belly dancer, I gyrate my ass just over his thighs.
My stomach flutters with arousing desire as he unclenches his fingers and rests them, palms up just under my rear. A beat, then he’s quickly gripping the chair under him. He wants so badly to touch me; I mentally cheer that I’m working this lap dance routine like a pro.
Holding this position isn’t easy, considering I’m only using stomach and thigh muscles, so I quickly stand between his thighs and face him. While the song’s build up is spiraling, I raise my bound wrists above my head, throw my head back, and writhe and roll my hips like I’m in the full throes of the best orgasm of my life. Smiling at his half-mast gaze and the obvious bulge in his pants, I begin to dance around his chair. Brushing my hip along his shoulder, I bend close and let my hair tickle the back of his neck.
Once I make my way around to his right side, my mind parses out the song’s mental segues from its physical descriptions. Music can be interpreted many ways, and as the lyrics overlay sinful thoughts and actions, other emotions come racing through: despair, self-loathing, desire, yearning, need, and hopeful acceptance. Realization pulls at my heart, shifting my goal from sexually arousing Sebastian to learning if he attributes any of those emotions to himself and us.
Just as the music ends, I lower my arms and meet his gaze, asking quietly, “Why do you want me?” The music starts up again, and the fact it’s on a repeat loop makes me even more desperate to know his answer. “Why, Sebastian?”
He gestures to his lap, his tone low and on edge. “Sit.” When I start to lower my butt cheek to his right thigh, he shakes his head. “My term. Sit in front, facing me.”
Doing so will put me squarely in his intimate space, but I need to know. My own emotions clogging my throat, I stand and rest my bound hands on his shoulder for balance, then slide my right foot across his lap. Sebastian closes his eyes and releases a low groan as my body slides down his until I’m straddling his thighs.
The sensual beat of the song thumps in the background, and when Sebastian opens his eyes, I try not to react to the lust turning the bright blue a turquoise shade. To his credit he hasn’t touched me. I’m impressed that he’s honoring his word by holding onto the bottom of the chair.
“The song is still going, which means you should be dancing,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone.
“I’m on your lap,” I huff and pretend I can’t feel the heat of him just a couple inches from me.
He leans close and speaks next to my ear, his husky voice igniting every nerve ending. “If you want me to answer, put your arms around my neck and dance.”
Moving my body with my legs spread across his muscular thighs is near impossible without holding onto him, so I sigh and lower my bound wrists over his head. As I begin to slowly roll my hips to the song, Sebastian takes advantage of my binding preventing me from pulling back and slides his nose up my neck. Inhaling near my jaw, he quietly says, “Take your shoes off.”
I’m thrown by his request, but fine with shucking my shoes. Doing so gives me a chance to separate our bodies a bit.
The second I kick my heels off, Sebastian commands, “Tuck your legs behind you and hook your feet on my knees.” When I hesitate, he smirks. “I know how limber you are.”
I try not to pant as I do as he asks, but as soon as my second foot is hooked, I realize too late that this position thrusts my body forward and aligns my sex with his erection perfectly.
When I start to unhook my feet, he growls along my jaw. “My term. Stay put.”
“That’s your third,” I exhale in a whisper just as he lowers his nose to my cleavage and breathes me in, rumbling his approval.
“Why have you stopped dancing?” He says in a casual tone as he begins to move his hips in a slow, arousing rock.
His action slides his erection with jaw-grinding pressure along my sex. “I—I can’t dance like this,” I say, my voice suddenly raspy with want.
“Yes, you can. Move your hips with mine.”
I realize I’m not even trying. My body is moving on its own, a counter to his gyrations.
“Fuck, you feel good.”
His voice is gravelly with desire, and the sheer heat of his body and muscular hardness under my legs and along my sex is making it very hard to focus. “Tell me, Sebastian,” I remind him. My voice is barely a whisper. I’m trying so hard to keep my composure, while his movements turn more aggressive. Each time he moves, he’s hitting my clit just enough to make my insides feel barren and empty, aching to be filled.
His lips graze my ear. “Should I tell you all the flowery things women want to hear?”
Ironically, in the background, the singer is explicitly saying what he wants to do to the girl…and I want that too. I want Sebastian raw and at his dirtiest. “No, that’s not you.”
He exhales a harsh snort. “Damn straight. Look at me, Talia.”
When I meet his gaze, he holds mine with magnetic intensity. “Animalistic doesn’t begin to describe the many ways I want to take your sweet body. I want to possess every part of you. My mouth waters at the thought of licking you raw, then making you wet for me all over again. I can’t stop thinking about the feel of you under me, your pussy dripping with want while you beg me to let you come.”
He still hasn’t told me why. Is this his reason, pure sex?
“Tell me to touch you,” he commands as he slowly begins to move to the music again, his movements grinding into me, showing me what he wants.
Did I read so much more into that song than he meant?
My body clenches at his sexual stimuli and even as my hips move instinctively with him, my body absorbing his arousing friction against my center, I shake my head. “No touching.”
His jaw sets and he quickly reaches behind him, yanking down on the tie dangling from my wrists. I’m instantly pulled forward, my chest crashing against his hard one. “What the fuck is this then?” he growls, grinding his cock aggressively against me.
I gasp and close my eyes as my body clenches in stimulated response. Shit, if he keeps this up I won’t last. My mind is yelling for me to tell him to stop, but my body is clamping my mouth closed, keeping me from speaking. It feels so good being pressed against him like this, his warmth and smell spreading through me with each breath I take.
“Do you really think a contract covers us?” he grates, lifting his pelvis off the chair. His hard abs ripple against me, and his next movement presses his cock just inside my entrance. Only his clothes and my underwear are separating our mutual desire to connect in the way we both desperately want. The tease nearly sends me over, making it hard for me to think past my own cravings. “Sebastian, we can’t—”
“What we have is indefinable; it can’t be bound by words on a fucking page,” he says as he grasps my hips and stands.
Taking the few steps to the bed, he ducks his head out of my arms and drops me onto the mattress. He’s on his knees and sliding my dress up my thighs on my first bounce. Yanking me to the end of the bed, he shreds my underwear in one sharp tug and before I can move, his mouth is pressed against my wet entrance, his tongue thrusting inside me.
I scream out and arch against the bed; the feel of his hands spreading my thighs wide, his hot mouth devouring me, is an arousing jolt to the electric need zinging through my body. He’s never gone down on me like a starving man before. He’s always controlled the pace, teasing me until I’m begging for it.
I’m shocked by his aggressive savageness, but also so turned on all I can do is let him pillage me, his lips tugging and teasing mercilessly while his tongue flicks and sucks every sensitive crevice. As he groans his approval, he doesn’t leave a part of me unplundered, and my body reacts to his thorough possession, flooding with the desire to be taken. I dig my fingers into his thick black hair, not to push him away, but to yank him closer.
“You taste like the fruit you ate earlier,” he murmurs against me. It’s a lover’s comment, one of a man who pays attention. “I’m going to lap up every last ounce from your pussy tonight,” he growls, his fingers gripping my ass and tilting me to give him better access.
Chill bumps scatter across my skin. I’m connected to him at this moment. Every suckle, nibble, and lick sends shivers racing through me, shooting my pulse to the stratosphere. When he rumbles a primal sound, then lifts my leg over his shoulder so he can burrow closer, I moan and whimper. Letting my arms fall to the bed, I surrender fully to his mouth, rocking against him, pressing as close as I can get.
This is the Sebastian I want—out of control and ravenous.
He swallows, his deep voice vibrating against me in a rough rasp. “I can’t get enough of your taste. It’s making me so hard I could pound a hole through a brick wall.” He glances up at me, his eyes pinning me to the bed as effectively as if he laid his body over mine. “When you come, I want you to give me all you’ve got. I want to fucking drown in you.”
This time he dips his head and sucks my clit deep into his hot mouth. I gasp and tremble as my passion builds. My hips follow the rhythm of his mouth’s unrelenting intensity, and my walls clench, yearning to be stretched and filled with his hard heat. As my mind conjures the memory of his thick cock thrusting deep inside me, his muscular body pressing my smaller one to the bed, shudders roll through me, and my breathing hitches. My orgasm rips through me in a storm of erotic, all-consuming shudders. While the sensory explosion shoots from my core to my heart, his name rushes past my lips over and over in a reverent chant.
The pressure of his mouth eases and he slides his tongue in slower, leisurely swipes along my sex as if the act alone is pleasurable to him. Tracing a sensuous path up and over my throbbing clit, his arresting eyes reflects smug arrogance mixed with simmering want as he presses a tender kiss to the tiny patch of hair between my thighs. Just as he puts his knee on the bed between my legs and leans over me, a light knock sounds at the door. “Natalia. Are you still up?”
Shit. It’s Jared.
Fury floods Sebastian’s features and he says in a menacing tone, “Get rid of him.”
Heart racing anew, I quickly shove my bound hands against his chest and whisper, “Untie me and go to your room.”
Standing, he folds his arms, his face set in determined lines, voice low. “I prefer to stay.”
“Do you want to get fired?” I whisper as I quickly stand and wiggle my wrists free of his tie on my own. Glaring at him for not helping, I push his tie against his chest while tugging my dress back down with my free hand. “Please go, Sebastian.”
A knocks sounds again. “Natalia?”
Sebastian takes his tie, but he doesn’t move to leave. When I notice the muscle ticking in his jaw, panic rises in my chest. I really don’t want him to get fired. I don’t want him to leave me and walk out of my life. I’ll never be ready for that, but definitely not right now. I walk over and open the door that connects our rooms. “Let me talk to him first.”
Grunting, he starts to walk through without his jacket, but I quickly grab it and shove it in his arms, then shut the door behind him.
“Just a sec, Jared,” I say as I glance around the room for my underwear. Where is it? As I get on my knees and look under the bed, it occurs to me that Cass would be laughing her ass off right now while totally giving me hell about having one guy coming in the front door while shoving the other guy out the back way.
Blowing out a breath, I put the chair back, then walk over to the door and smooth my hair before grabbing the handle. “Hey, Jared. What’s up?”
His gaze drops to my chest and a smile spreads across his face. “You should’ve just worn that tonight. Can I come in for a sec? I don’t want to discuss this in the hall.”
“I was getting ready to go to bed, but sure,” I say, waving him in.
As we step into my room, my gaze instantly snaps to the rumpled end of my bed and the two cell phones lying on the corner of it. Heart racing, I stand so he has to put his back to the bed to face me. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
Smiling, he rocks on his heels. “I’m able to have breakfast with you tomorrow.”
“Great. So eight in the restaurant downstairs?”
Once he nods, but doesn’t say anything else, I tilt my head. “Is there something else you wanted to talk about?”
He nods and takes a step closer to push my hair over my shoulder. “You really are beautiful with your hair loose and a bit mussed.”
“Um, thanks,” I say, then clear my throat and take a step back. I need to have that talk with him now. This can’t wait until tomorrow. “Jared, what I—”
“I want to discuss your security,” he interrupts, his tone breezy, turning to business. “I’m going to change it, hire another firm.”
I quickly shake my head. “No, I don’t want you to. I’m comfortable with Sebastian.”
His mouth tightens. “Well, I’m not. The way he watches you makes me want to punch him.”
I snort and fold my arms. “It’s his job to watch me.”
“Not like he does,” he says briskly, his lips thinning. “The man looks at you like something he covets. Did you have a relationship with him in the past?”
I don’t know what to call what Sebastian and I have, but I’m definitely not defining it for Jared. “My past relationships are private. I’m not discussing them with you. Just like I haven’t asked you about yours.”
“I would tell you if you asked,” he says, his tone softening.
I rub my hands on my arms to erase the sudden chill and shake my head. “I can’t do this, Jared.”
Worry creases his brow. “What can’t you do?”
“Us,” I say, waving my hand between us. “I want my relationship with Midtown Central to be a long one. You’ve pretty much acted in editor capacity for me the past month, and one day you could be my editor. I think it’s best not to go to dinner with you, except in a business capacity.”
“So that’s it?” he says, his tone sharper, eyes drilling into me.
I touch his sleeve. I’m sorry, Jared. I’m just not willing to jeopardize my career.”
He puts his hand over mine and I’m surprised by the resolute look on his face. “You might be giving up, but I’m not.”
“I think it’s for the best to remain colleagues,” I say, nodding.
Jared shakes his head. “You’re still having breakfast with me.” When I start to suggest we skip it, he continues, “There are some things I want to go over about your agenda for the rest of the tour.”
It’s most likely stuff Kayla can easily convey, but I can tell Jared’s feeling rejected so I just nod. “Okay. I really need to get some sleep now.”
As he turns to walk to the door, his gaze strays to my bed. I’m not sure if he sees the two phones, but I pick up my pace anyway and open the door for him, saying in a light tone, “See you in the morning, bright and early.”
After Jared steps outside my room, I’m relieved that he knows where I stand on us. I may as well make sure my past isn’t going to be an issue. “Who told you about my past at the kick off party?”
He turns, eyebrows raised. “So it’s true about the drugs then?”
I knew asking him meant he’d question me again. Squeezing the door handle, I let out a slow breath. “I didn’t have a choice. I was thirteen. And no, I didn’t take the drugs.”
Sympathy in his gaze, he nods his understanding, then lifts his shoulders. “I have no idea, honestly. I was standing there in the crowd talking to Nathan and when I glanced down a note had been left on the plate in my hand. I asked Nathan why he didn’t just tell me directly, but he was just as clueless about your past.”
“It’s not a part of my life I like to talk about,” I say. “Goodnight, Jared.”
“Thank you for trusting me enough to share,” he says, smiling. “Night, Natalia.”
Once he leaves, I sag against the door, frustrated that I still don’t know who tried to ruin my career. Exhaling a sigh, I know I need to take Sebastian his phone, but just as I start to pick his cell up, my phone rings.
I’m surprised Mina’s calling me so late, so I grab my phone and answer. “Hey, Mina. Is everything all right?”
She expels a light laugh. “Everything is great. I know you’re used to me calling via video, but this time I’m hoping we can get together in person. I think we’re way overdue. Would you be able to meet me for breakfast tomorrow morning?”
“I’m sorry, Mina. I just made breakfast plans—” I pause when I hear her dejected sigh. “But if you can meet me at the Regent at seven, we could have coffee in the restaurant. Would that work for you?”
“That’ll be perfect,” she says, perking up.
“Wonderful. And I hope you’re bringing Josi. I can’t wait to hold that sweet munchkin.”
Mina laughs. “I don’t go anywhere without her. She can’t wait to meet you too.”
I’m smiling when I hang up with Mina. I truly like Sebastian’s little sister, and if she asks me over coffee tomorrow to be Josi’s godmother, I’ll be honored to accept.
My heart aches as I stare at the door separating Sebastian and me. I thought I could conjure my inner-slut, and then put her neatly back in the bottle—my feelings for Sebastian right along with her—but right now I feel raw and torn.
He makes me feel every spectrum of emotion. Yes, lust is high on that list, but he also makes me want so much more every time I’m with him. The ache in my chest hurts even more this time than when I left him sleeping in Martha’s Vineyard. Obviously sex is all he wants from me. Well, it’s all he’s willing to give of himself at least. And I deserve more than that, because I would give the infuriating man the freaking moon if I thought he’d stick around.
As if Sebastian knows I’m thinking about him, my phone pings with a text.
PainInMyAss: Planning on returning my phone anytime soon?
I frown at Sebastian’s phone on the bed and type him a message.
Me: How are you texting me if your phone is right here?
His phone silently vibrates on the bed a second later with my text.
PainInMyAss: Bring it to me and I’ll tell you.
Taking a steadying breath, I set my phone down and pick his up, then walk through the door between our rooms.
He’s standing straight across from me in the dark room, leaning against the wall next to the window, his dress shirt unbuttoned and his hands tucked into his pants’ pockets. I blink so my eyes adjust to the lack of light. “Why are you in the dark?”
“This feels normal to me.”
It’s said without humor or sarcasm. A simple statement of fact. It’s true; the man lives in the shadows. I hold his phone up. “Per your request.”
“Come here, Talia.”
My heart thumps at his directive, but I can’t stop myself from obeying. When I’m a foot away, he pulls another phone from his pants’ pocket, then glances at the one in my hand. “It’s cloned.”
I frown even as I hand it to him. “Why have you cloned your own phone?”
“Security,” he says, setting them both on the desk next to him. “If it’s stolen, I can turn on the mic or camera to discover who the bastard is. If I lose it, I can remote erase the data. It’s a fail safe.”
I tilt my head and study him. His mood has shifted. I feel the tense vibe simmering off him. “Are you always so prepared?”
“Whenever I can be. Did you send him away?”
“Jared’s gone if that’s what you’re asking.”
“You know what I’m asking. He wants you. Did you tell him he can’t fucking have you?”
“Why? Because someone else already does?” I snap, wanting to hit him upside the head. I spread my hands and glance around the room, sarcasm building. “I don’t see anyone here claiming that role.”
Sebastian pushes off the wall and gets right in my personal space. “I claimed you not less then fifteen minutes ago. The only word out of your mouth while you came was my name. You want me, but you’re too damn stubborn to let yourself admit it. That penname you’re hiding behind, T.A. Lone…” He straightens and snorts. “I know ‘A’ isn’t your middle initial. So does that name really represent Talia Alone, because I swear to God sometimes I think that’s what you want is to be, alone.”
His sharp words slice through me in a million tiny cuts, but I won’t let him turn this around on me. “That’s rich coming from a man who says he always fucks up every relationship he’s ever had. Of the two of us, who do you think will be alone in the end?”
When he doesn’t say anything, I turn to leave, but he grabs my hand and yanks me against him. As we fall back against the wall, I brace my free hand on his chest, ready to push away, but he cups the back of my neck, keeping me in place. “You asked me why I want you. I could say it’s because you’re intelligent, stubborn, and sexy as fuck.” Tracing his thumb along the side of my neck, his gruff tone softens as his gaze scans my face. “But the simple truth is, I don’t have a choice.”
Of all the things he could’ve said to me, that hits my heart the hardest. I hold back the sob that threatens to erupt and feel the burn slide deep into my chest. Why can’t he let himself believe I’m worth having something real with? I want to demand that he stop bullshitting me and tell me why, but I know the reason I haven’t asked. I’m afraid his answer will tear me apart even more than not knowing, because hope for a future with Sebastian has always been what I’ve clung to. I was an idiot to think I could just have some fun tonight and not pay for it. Sebastian is my drug and I’m the addict. We can’t keep doing this. His inability to try for something more between us will eventually shatter me.
“Then I’m making the choice for us. Jared is gunning for you. He wants to fire you and that’s the last thing I want. Despite our inability to connect on a personal level, I think you and I make a good working team. I want you to remain as my security person.”
Sebastian’s hand clamps tighter on my neck. “We connect explosively on a personal level and you damn well know it.”
His statement makes my stomach flip-flop, but I force myself to keep talking. “That’s all I can offer, Sebastian.” I know that if we have sex, my heart will hurt every time I look at him, because I’ll know he won’t ever truly be mine. I need to get the hell out of his room, but the last thing I want to do is leave things so tense between us. Before he can say anything, I flatten my hand on his chest. “Think of me as a partner. And one of the things partners do is maintain equal footing.” He’s suddenly still, his expression hard to read, so I run my hand down his abs and over his belt. Sliding my hand down, I cup his erection lightly.
He clasps my hand resting over his cock and wraps my fingers fully around him, his tone tight. “Are you suggesting a tit-for-tat?”
I hold his gaze. “It’s a one-time offer. Your choice.”
His jaw muscle flexes even as he moves my hand along the ridge of his erection. Pressing the heel of my palm against the tip of his cock, he says, “Then it’ll be on my terms.”
That’s only fair. When I nod, he clasps my hips and quietly orders, “Unbuckle my pants.”
When I start to look down to unbuckle his belt, he says, “Don’t look down. Look at me while you do it.”
He’s pissed. I see it in his eyes, hear it in his tone, and feel it in the tightness of his hands clamped around my hips.
It’s hard to keep my breathing even as I hold his gaze. He’s not saying a word, but his eyes convey so much. He’s not happy with this, but he wants me touching him, so he’s staying quiet.
I unzip his pants, then push his fitted boxers down his hips, but pause when his gaze narrows on my hands. Reaching down, he slides the bangle on my wrist as far up my arm as it will go. Once it’s locked high in place on my forearm, he grates, “Wrap your hand around me and feel what you could’ve had tonight, Talia.”
I’m both frustrated and aroused by his comment, but I follow his directive and slowly fold my fingers around his hardness.
Despite his matter-of-fact manner, Sebastian groans the second I clasp him tight. Gripping the material of my dress at my hips, he starts to slide it up, but I shake my head. “This is just you.”
“This is for me,” he says tightly. “Don’t deny me.”
I have never been more turned on. He’s so on edge; all I can do is nod. When he slides his hand down my hip, and then slips it between my legs, thrusting two fingers deep inside me, I gasp and slit my gaze, but don’t say a word.
“You’re fucking dripping for me,” he growls, fury flickering across his features. When all I do is swallow, he orders, “Release me.”
The second I let go of him, he pulls his fingers from my body and fists his cock. Sliding his hand from tip to base, he rubs my moisture all over himself, then commands, “Now taste what you’re denying us both.”
When I start to kneel, he clasps my arm, his voice a rough rasp, “Stay standing. I want you close.”
I step to the side and the second I lean over and take him into my mouth, then begin to slide my tongue around his erection, his fingers fist in my hair. “Do you taste how sweet you are? That’s what I crave. Fuck—”
He cuts himself off and tilts his head back against the wall as I suck him in, then glide my mouth up and down his length. I love how I taste on him. Sweetness mixed with his musky maleness. His masculine smell surrounds me and I can’t help but dig my nails into his upper thigh before I cup his sac firmly, then run my thumb down the sensitive seam, sliding it underneath.
When he groans deeper and says a few choice curse words, his hips starting to move, I internally smile. It’s a heady sensation, having a sense of power over a man who normally dominates me. In this one instance, I welcome the role reversal. His breathing elevates and he grips my hair tighter, his other hand racing along my spine to cup my ass while he pushes his cock deep into my mouth. It’s exhilarating to see him like this; unable to stop himself from absorbing every bit of pleasure I’m offering.
Suddenly I’m yanked off him and my back’s set against the wall. Pressing his hands on the wall on either side of me, Sebastian’s voice is gritty and raw. “There’s nothing I want more than to have you go down on me, but that’s not what I need right now. When I come, I want to be balls deep, to feel your warm pussy absorbing every last drop.” He slides his hand between my thighs, his intimate hold tight and dominant. “This is mine, Talia. I own it, goddamn it! You know it and I know it.”
I’m literally shaking from his possessive hold and arousing words. He’s turned the tables on me so quickly, my insides are mush. There’s no denying he ruled my world earlier and could easily do so now if he pushed me. “Sebastian—”
“No.” He shakes his head in a hard jerk and quickly releases me. “A blow job will only make me want to nail you to the wall even more. You need to leave. Now.”
He’s kicking me out? I stare into his eyes, hoping he can see how torn I feel, but even as his breathing saws in and out, his intense look doesn’t waver, so I duck underneath his arm and walk away on shaky legs, my heart twisting.
Just as I reach the doorway, he calls my name. I turn, my pulse ramping at a crazy pace. He holds my gaze, his tone low and dangerous. “Lock the door tonight.”