As soon as Talia walks out, her gorgeous red hair trailing down her back, hips swaying in that way only a woman who unknowingly possesses natural sex appeal can, I dig my fingers into my scalp and blow out a harsh breath, trying to get control over my raging need to throw her on the bed and fuck some sense into her.
Having her warm mouth moving over me felt so damn good. It would’ve been so easy to let her suck me off. I know it would’ve been heaven, but the battle of wills between us just elevated several notches. I meant what I said; until I’m coming inside her body and feeling her warm pussy clenching me tight, her hands clutching me to her, I won’t feel satisfied.
I glance at the closed door, my dick throbbing, stomach muscles flexing. Damn-it-to-hell…since when have I not been able to trust myself around a woman? Not fucking ever. But I sure as shit don’t trust myself not to lose it if I follow her into her room. I could do it; I could walk in there right now and seduce her into having sex with me. I’d touch her in all the right places until she’s pulling me into bed, desperate to have me inside her. I know exactly what turns her on, and God knows I can’t get enough of hearing the sounds she makes when she’s begging me to let her come. Talia’s not a constant screamer like other lovers I’ve been with, but when she feels deeply, she expresses herself passionately. The moans and sighs she makes resonate through her sexy body. The arousing vibrations would bring even a deaf man to his knees. It’s the ultimate turn on knowing I’m the one who brings that out in her.
I pace the room until my breathing settles and my heart returns to a normal pace, but a dull ache throbs in my stomach. At this rate, I’ll have the worse case of blue balls before this week is out. One thing has become very clear to me the last few days, I crave Talia, but I want her to want me without reservation. No, damn it, despite them. I want her so overcome she can’t control her responses. She was so close earlier.
Jared showing up gave her too much time to think. Fucking prick. I could strangle that pretentious bastard. He had to have called me right after he left Talia’s room, because he wasn’t gone thirty seconds before my phone rang.
“Black, this is Jared.”
“Do you have more information?” I snap, annoyed at his interruption.
“No more threats. I’m calling to inform you that I’ve replaced you with another security detail for Natalia. Clear out your things from the hotel room before eleven tomorrow. I’ll send you a check for the services you’ve provided so far.”
I wasn’t surprised by Jared’s move. Honestly, I couldn’t believe it took him this long. Sometime this week, he grew a pair. I eliminate threats for a living and would’ve bounced my ass the first day I met me. But Talia’s situation wasn’t about a pissing contest, so I kept my response calm. “It’s not in Miss Lone’s best interest to change her security detail at this late juncture, nor do I think she would approve of the change.”
“Natalia has no choice in the matter. We’re paying for the service. She’ll adapt to her new security person.”
“For someone who obviously wants to date Miss Lone, you sure as shit know nothing about her,” I say before I hang up. When he tries to call me back, I ignore the call. A couple minutes later, I receive a text.
Jared: Are we going to have a problem?
I’m tempted to let Jared fail miserably with Talia—I know what her reaction to him saying she has no choice in her new security would be—but I refuse to take the risk with her safety.
Me: I no longer work for you. Miss Lone has hired me directly. Any security you procure will be redundant and only get in my way. Save yourself the cost or I’ll remove whomever you hire from the premises myself. You will continue to keep me apprised of any new developments as pertains to Miss Lone’s safety. Any failure to do so will be met with DUE force. Am I clear?
Jared: Are you threatening me?
Me: Just stating a fact.
As I glance over at my phones sitting on the desk now, it occurs to me that Jared probably saw the second phone lying near Talia’s on her bed and assumed the other belonged to me. That’s why he called me when he did. The bastard was testing to see if the phone was mine. He probably stood outside Talia’s door listening after he dialed. Asshole.
A smile of satisfaction flickers that my phone in her room had been on silent mode. Knowing that I one-upped Jared’s suspicion purely by accident is the final amusing balm that helps settle my raging need for Talia. For now.
I grunt my annoyance at the Midtown Central editor. I’ve never been so relieved to be out from under a contract. Jared is such a clueless idiot that he doesn’t realize he just pissed away the only leverage he had over me: my word. And now that I’m not being held to a contract, all bets are off. I’m going after Talia, full force, and on my fucking terms.
When she and I are in public, my first priority will be getting her through this week unharmed. It’s been easier having her near in the hotel. I’ll deal with her qualms when I suggest she change location again. She won’t like it, but it’s necessary until I can find and eliminate this threat on her life for good. The threat could die down once the book tour is over, but I don’t trust that. One thing I’ve discovered over the past few days is how important Talia’s safety is to me. Every time we leave the hotel, my concern for her well-being is so intense, it feels like someone’s stabbing me in the chest with a hot poker.
But when we’re alone again, and I don’t have to worry about others coming after her, she’s all mine. And she’ll have no idea what’s going to hit her. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost. But not enough to stop myself from finally having the one thing that has made me feel the closest to being whole in a very long time. Talia leaving me hanging for six months has put a damper on my desire for anyone else. One-night stands just weren’t worth the effort.
She and I feel…unresolved. I’ve never been with a person that left me feeling like that before. It’s beyond frustrating. If we can spend time together, preferably in bed for at least a week, then maybe I can begin to feel like a normal guy who no longer obsesses about one particular redhead more than he should.
Will we be able to be friends after I inevitably fuck it all up? I don’t know. I’ve never cared enough to bother before, but I hope so because she fascinates me as a person. For now, I’m not thinking that far ahead. When I’m not worrying about keeping her safe, my dick is doing most of the thinking. And until he’s satiated, nothing else will matter.
But the idea of having her to myself for a week grows more appealing the more time we spend together. I’m going to submerge myself in Talia, drink in her feminine scent, soak up the feel of her skin, and taste every last part of her. I will wear her the hell out, so there’s no room for thoughts of anyone else in that intriguing mind of hers. I might be far from perfect, but I am one unrelenting, determined bastard in bed, which will absofuckinglutely be to her benefit.
With a plan in place, I strip and fall into bed, knowing I can’t let thoughts of Talia keep me up all night long. She needs me at my best and that’s exactly what she’s going to get, no matter how much my balls ache.
Shaking my head, I stare at my naked wrist as I wait in the hotel restaurant for Mina. After a restless night’s sleep, I woke this morning to find the bangle Jared had given me laying open on the pillow beside me. I instantly narrowed my gaze on the doorknob, but the push button was still locked. Not that it apparently stops Sebastian. He has picked my lock before. This time he just bothered to lock himself out once he “unshackled” me.
Before I went to bed, I tried once more to remove it, but the thing was definitely locked on my wrist. I finally gave up, washed my face and crawled into bed, only to have erotic dreams of Sebastian bringing me to climax with his mouth, his hands, and other parts of his body but the one I wanted. I awoke in such arousing pain that I instantly headed for the shower. Anything to distract myself from thoughts of the domineering, infuriating, stubborn, autocratic, sharp-witted, sex-on-a-stick man on the other side of that door.
Once I’d showered, I tried to put the bracelet back on, but it no longer stayed clasped. Of course Sebastian made sure that was the case, which was probably for the best. It’s not like I’m wearing the jewelry he gave me. Not that he knows any of this yet. I didn’t bother waking him, since I’m having breakfast here in the hotel. And honestly, communicating directly with him right now would just remind me of how I woke up this morning; painfully unsatisfied.
Mina carrying an infant carrier into the restaurant sidetracks my thoughts of Sebastian, and I instantly stand and wait for her to come to my table.
She looks gorgeous; her long blond hair is slightly coated in sleet as she sets the carrier on the floor, then hugs me tight. “I’m so sorry, Talia. I just found out about my father contacting you. I’m horribly embarrassed.”
I hug her and then pull back, clasping her shoulders. “I handled your father. No worries.”
She smiles. “If anyone can put Adam Blake in his place, it’s you.”
Chuckling, I slide my hands to hers and pull her into the seat across from me. “I just didn’t let him intimidate me. That’s all.” A sweet gurgling sound coming from the carrier draws my attention and I glance down at Josi. She’s staring at me with bright green eyes and a happy smile on her face. “Well, hello, little Josi. I’m so happy to finally meet you in person,” I say as I release Mina to touch the short blonde curls framing her little face. A hard lump forms in my throat. She reminds me so much of Amelia when she was tiny like this.
While I let Josi pat her hand on my wrist, Mina unstraps her from the carrier. “Would you like to hold her?”
I can’t even form the words. Instead, I just nod and wait with bated breath for her to hand me her four-month-old daughter.
As soon as Josi settles in my arms, I pull her close and inhale her baby powder scent. Moments spent with Amelia flood back to me, fiercely bittersweet, but I force myself to stay in the present with Mina and Josi.
“She’s beautiful, Mina.”
Mina dabs at Josi’s mouth with a cloth, giving her daughter a worshiping gaze. “And drooling like a champ. I have a feeling she’s starting to teethe early. God help me.”
I set Josi on my thigh and press her back against my body, wrapping an arm around her to hold her securely. While she coos and makes contented sounds playing with the toy her mom hands her, Mina looks up at me. “I truly am sorry. That’s the last way I wanted you to find out. I could kill Regan for going to my dad.”
“Who’s Regan?” I ask, wondering why the name sounds vaguely familiar.
The waiter arrives, and after we place our orders for coffee and croissants, Mina answers my question. “Regan is one of my best friends that I’ve had since childhood,” she says with a tolerant sigh. “I know it’s going to seem like I’m asking you to consider being Josi’s godmother at the last minute, but my family and friends have been giving me such a hard time as to who should take on the role that the whole thing is really stressing me out.”
“I can only imagine,” I murmur. Regan. Ugh, now I know why that name sounds familiar. That’s the girl who brought Sebastian that box of stuff from Mina while he and I were together in Martha’s Vineyard. I never saw Regan’s face, but I already dislike this girl. The way she spoke to Sebastian while standing outside his room at the Hawthorne estate…she definitely wants him back. I doubt her thoughts about him have changed these past six months. He’s a hard man to forget. It was clear to me that she wants an “in” with the Blake family, and being his niece’s godmother is definitely a way to accomplish that. My arm folds protectively around Josi. I would never let that woman near this sweet baby.
“And with the christening happening tomorrow afternoon, I’ll totally understand if you say ‘no’. I know you have a lot on your plate this week and the timing couldn’t be worse, but I just wanted you to know how much your friendship has come to mean to me, Talia. So—”
I put my hand on hers and squeeze so she can stop worrying. “I would be honored to be Josi’s godmother, Mina. Truly. But can you tell me why you chose me? And does your husband agree? As your father pointed out, you do have two best friends whom I’m assuming Josi’s father has met.”
Mina leans over and touches the heart on my necklace at the same times she touches the matching one on hers. “It’s because of this, Talia. You loved little Amelia so much that you never forgot her. Everything you did to help me, you were also doing it in her name.” Reaching down, she clasps my hand between hers. “I haven’t exactly been honest with you.”
I furrow my brow. “What do you mean?”
She releases my hand to smooth her hair, then bites her bottom lip as she runs her finger lovingly down the side of Josi’s face. “Derrick couldn’t handle the idea of being a father. It freaked him out so much that he left a couple months before she was born. So yeah, I’m a single mom and up until a month ago, I didn’t handle it well at all.”
What kind of man deserts his wife and unborn child? “I don’t understand, Mina. Every time we talked you said “we” love Josi so much. You seemed so put together. Why didn’t you tell me you were alone and needed help?”
She looks up, a need for me to understand reflected in her gaze. “Because you were my inspiration, Talia. You somehow managed to make your life better despite a bad past that included losing your little sister. And yet, there I was, unable to handle losing my husband and being a new mom. I didn’t want to look like a failure in your eyes, so yeah, when we talked all those times…I faked it. The truth is, if it weren’t for Seb, I don’t know how I would’ve handled things.”
“Sebastian?” I ask, totally surprised.
Mina nods. “Yeah, when Derrick bailed, my brother swooped in like a lion. Not that my mother did a whole lot, but Sebastian took over after battling with my mom a few times. He wouldn’t let her do anything. He took me to appointments, he was there when Josi was born, and he made sure I got out of the house when he saw I needed time to myself after my post partum depression got pretty bad. Because of him, I’m finally feeling like I can do this single mother thing. Even dealing with his own stuff, he’s been my rock. That’s why I sent him your way.”
So that’s what Sebastian has been doing the last six months, being the best big brother in the world. My respect for him vaults several notches. “What do you mean you sent him my way?”
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “When you mentioned that first threatening letter your publisher received, I told Seb. I knew he’d protect you.” She glances around, looking toward the restaurant’s doorway. “I’m surprised he’s not here. He’s your security, right?”
I nod. “He is, but I didn’t tell him I was getting up so early to meet with you, since I knew we’d stay here in the hotel. So you discussed me with your brother?” This whole conversation is throwing me off a little. In our few talks, Mina and I never talked about Sebastian. It was like an unwritten rule we both abided by.
She bites into her croissant, then wipes the crumbs from her fingers. “I didn’t talk about our conversations with Sebastian, because I was so wrapped up in my own misery. But based on Seb’s reaction to that letter you wrote, I knew he would want to know if you were in danger.”
I furrow my brow as I lift my coffee cup. “What letter?”
“The one you left behind with the watch all those years ago.” Sipping her coffee, she nods. “Once I told him what the rest of the letter said, I could tell you meant something to him.”
The fact that Mina thinks I mean something to Sebastian makes my stomach flutter, even if it’s her own perception. Blinking in confusion, I say, “I don’t understand. Why did you have to tell him what the rest of my letter said?”
Mina turns her fork on the tablecloth several times, obviously nervous. “I’m going to tell you something that Sebastian would kill me for revealing, but I think it’s important.”
“Of course,” I say quickly, desperate for more insight into the enigmatic man.
“When Sebastian got hurt during that explosion, his eye color wasn’t the only thing that changed. He’s colorblind, Talia. The only colors he sees now are black and white and the brighter end of the red spectrum.” Her gaze skims my hair and her lips quirk. “He must love looking at you. Anyway, the P.S. part of your letter was written in—”
“Green,” I supply in a hushed voice, remembering that I’d added that part with another pen once my black pen ran out of ink.
She nods. “Which made it invisible to him.”
That means he didn’t know just how much the watch meant to me when he commented that giving it to me was a foolish mistake. “Why didn’t he tell me about his eyesight?”
Mina snorts. “My brother’s pride is as strong as his honor. He didn’t say anything because he wouldn’t want to be seen as less. Not by anyone. I’m the only one in our family who knows the truth about why he left the Navy, and he only told me because of your letter.”
Is that what Sebastian meant about not being whole? Because he lost so much more than his color vision? Losing his military career had to be devastating. She’s right. That’s something he would never disclose. Not willingly. “Why are you telling me?”
She tilts her head and holds my gaze. “Because I think you care for him too and you should know the demons he deals with everyday. Can you imagine not only having to start over, but having all the color stripped from your life at the same time? Where you once took the beauty all around you for granted, and then the next day, it’s just gone? My brother has pulled more into himself since he came back. The past few months, when he wasn’t helping me, he focused solely on work. If anyone can get him to reengage in life, it’s you.”
Her revelation about Sebastian’s extreme colorblindness helps me understand his inflexible attitude about us a little better. Does he really think he’s somehow less? And does he think that I would see his colorblindness as a flaw? If anything it makes me admire him more. “Sebastian means a lot to me, Mina, but he has to want more for himself. There’s only so much I can do.”
She nods and smiles. “I know, but I have faith. Yet another reason why I’m choosing you to be Josi’s godmother. Like my brother, you stand by your word. I know that if something happened to me, Josi will be well-loved and protected. The Blake name might come with money, but I know from experience wealth can’t buy loyalty, not without strings attached.” Her lips press together for a second before she continues. “For Josi, I want pure-of-heart devotion. You had that for Amelia.”
Pausing, she clasps my hand and squeezes. “I don’t just want you to say ‘yes’ to being Josi’s godmother, Talia. I’m asking you to become a part of our lives. I so enjoyed our chats and wanted to meet you in person for drinks and dinner, but I knew you were on a crazy schedule. Now that your deadlines are behind you, I’d like to do something fun like see a chick flick, enjoy a long lunch, or have a girls’ night out. I want to really be friends.”
Her words are choking me up, and I blink back the mist in my eyes to cover just how much. Other than Cass, my aunt is the only other person in my life. Kissing the soft curls on top of Josi’s head, I rub my thumb over the baby’s tiny hand grasping my finger and smile at her mom. “I would love that. And thank you for keeping Amelia’s memory alive. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
Mina smiles. “Will your schedule allow you to come to the christening tomorrow? It’s not required at such short notice, but if you can make it, I’d love for you to come. It’ll be at four.”
I nod. “I have a couple of signings and a media thing, but then I’m free. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Mina’s smile brightens as she lifts her barely eaten croissant. “I’ve got a lot to do to get ready for tomorrow. I’ll text you the church’s address later today.”
Nodding toward her coffee and croissant, I grin. “Better fuel up. You’re going to need the energy.”
I’m just finishing my croissant when Sebastian stalks into the restaurant in his business suit, his blood red tie making me smile inside despite the annoyed look on his face. “Why didn’t you answer any of my texts?”
“I take it you didn’t get my note?” I say in a calm tone as I pull my phone out of my purse and turn it on. I’d turned it off after I got a text from Jared letting me know he had an early morning meeting he didn’t know about and would have to catch up with me later. My breakfast with Mina was too important to let it be interrupted.
“What note?” Sebastian says, still towering over my table.
“The one I wrote and left on my desk for you…” I trail off when I realize the pen I grabbed from my purse was blue. Well, shit. Standing quickly, I say, “I’m sorry. I turned my phone off during my breakfast meeting. I thought for sure you’d see my note letting you know I was here, Mr. Lock-picker.”
He scowls, clearly annoyed. “I didn’t. Don’t turn your phone off again.”
I nod and sigh, feeling bad for inadvertently making him worry. Now that I know about his vision’s limitations, I’ll be more aware. “Since the signing isn’t for another couple hours, will you take me to the market? I still haven’t had a chance to see the Christmas decorations and vendors.”
“No.” He shakes his head, his mouth set in a firm line.
“Consider it your way of making up for destroying my bracelet.”
His gaze sharpens and his voice lowers as he takes a step closer. “No one else is allowed to bind you, Talia. I respect the nuanced meanings behind it. Do I need to remind you of the pleasure you’ve experienced every time I’ve done so?”
My stomach flutters with excitement, but I force myself to remember his commitment phobia and take a calming breath. Shaking my head, I try a different approach. “Please, Sebastian. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t even decorated my apartment, which makes me feel anxious to walk around and admire all the glitz and glamour. I still need to get a couple of gifts and I’m hoping I’ll find them there.”
His blue gaze searches mine for a couple of seconds before he brushes a tendril of hair back from my cheek. I can tell by the softening of the lines around his mouth that we’ve called a truce, for now. Sighing, he lowers his hand to his side and takes in my black slacks, white silk blouse and black blazer, then looks at his own suit. “We’ll need coats. It’s not snowing, but it’s hovering close to thirty this morning.”
I beam, giving him the full force of the excitement brimming inside me, before I run off ahead of him to get my coat.