CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
A thousand sharp, icy spears prickled my flesh as warmth surrounded me. Lethargy and confusion hung heavy in my head. No longer was I surrounded by darkness while freezing water filled my mouth, nose and lungs. I stood shivering in a small golden alcove off a royal bed chamber.
My gaze skipped over the ornately carved bed, the velvet drapery, the fabric-covered walls and settled on an ethereal female wearing a sheer champagne gown. She lay on a raised platform before me, her hair a rich burgundy I had seen on only one other person.
I sputtered for air and looked down at myself. Naked except for my mourning band, I clutched Castian’s pendant, Pond water dripped in a steady stream from my braid, my fingers and everywhere else.
Standing at the side of his unconscious wife, Castian looked murderously annoyed.
“Am I dead, Sire?” I coughed again and pushed my voice past the burning in my throat.
Castian drew his fingers along the woman’s face and curled a wayward lock around his finger. “You tell me, Ryanne?”
I winced. Usually, when Castian spoke my soul name, it filled me with an intimate sense of peace. Instead, his dry clipped tone gripped me, his pretense of civility veil thin.
I steadied my slippery footing on the marble floor. Was I passing to the After to join the dead of my village? Had my momentary loss of hope cost me everything? My mind whirled with a multitude of questions, but
“Has Jade spoken to you of her mother?” He rounded the foot of the platform. The powerful fury seething beneath the surface of Castian’s gaze took me aback. “I asked you a question. Find your voice and speak.”
My gaze flashed up to meet his. “Uh, yes, some. Her name is Abbey. She remains dormant after a Scourge attack though her body is healed. Jade holds hope her spirit will find its way back and you three will be reunited.”
His square jaw flexed. “Do you know what she suffered to leave her in this state?”
I hated to speak of the pain that haunted his emerald glare. “She was violated, tortured to gain access to Jade but she protected her daughter until Reign came upon them.”
Castian nodded. “Do you believe it was her fault . . . what those men did to her?”
Who was I to hold an opinion on such matters? He was the God of gods. I was . . . no one. I barely knew the male and could not speak to what happened two decades ago. Still, he stared at me awaiting an answer. “No Sire, of course not.”
He crossed his arms and looked down at me. “Do you think I reject her and find her unworthy because some vile men forced themselves inside her?”
“No, my lord, it is obvious you cherish her to the depths of your soul.”
He raked his fingers through his long, brown hair and turned to his mate. “I believe the torment of her state is my penance. I saw the horror unfold and refused to stop it. And as much as everyone despises the Fates, every event affects another along a long chain. For Jade to survive and claim the life meant for her, I couldn’t interfere. And so, I left Abbey to those animals.”
“It was an impossibly horrible choice to make. You must not blame yourself for her condition.”
Castian frowned. “Fate and free will are poised in a tenuous balance. Image two twining vines growing and thirsting towards the same source of light. Both are needed to create the whole. Abbey’s body is healed, yet, on some level, she chooses to abandon our life. Is it punishment because I failed to save her from those monsters?”
My stomach knotted.
He brushed his knuckle against her cheek. “I watched as evil took something precious from us. Do I love her less for it? Does it change her in any way in my eyes?”
My mouth dropped open, closed, opened again. “I cannot speak to your feelings, Sire, but I think not. Your feelings exceed the circumstances, no matter what you were made to bear witness to.”
A grim smile curled his mouth as if my answer spoke more than my words. “Yet here she lays, a shell of the woman I once loved. A beautiful husk for me to mourn. She gave up. On me. On Jade. And now, I ask you, why?”
I shook my head. “I cannot say, Sire.”
His emerald gaze narrowed. “You hold no insight as to why a woman in her position would surrender to oblivion rather than fight to claim life?”
I clasped my shivering hands before me and dropped my gaze. “Forgive me. I cannot begin to tell you . . . to express how I wish I had chosen a different course. When I learned the truth of Abaddon’s claim—when the images overtook me—to be mated to such a male . . .”
Energy snapped in the air. He clasped a hand around my wrist and tugged me to his beloved’s side. Clasping the back of my neck, he held my gaze fixed on Jade’s comatose mother. “Is this what you want? To be dead in all ways save the most final. To have Galan and Samuel mourn you and relive the ways they failed you for decades to come. Do you blame them? Wish they had done more, said more—”
“No.”
Castian held me fast and leaned close to my ear. “What will you do about it?”
Tears burned my cheeks. “What can I do?”
“Change. Change your course. Change your mindset.” He released me and I spun around to look at him. The fury ringing in his voice was absent in his expression.
He looked composed. Calculating.
Taking my hand, he led me away from the raised platform and sat me on the edge of one of the two upholstered chairs in the alcove. “Harness your pain and fury. Let it fuel the fire within you to grow stronger. The life you envisioned as a child is gone. Forget it. Take charge of your destiny and forge your path as Queen of the Realm of the Fair.”
I blinked back the tears blurring my vision. “You cannot truly believe I am the woman the realm needs.”
He opened my clenched fist and twirled the blue diamond from my palm to its proper place on my finger. “Will you do this, Ryanne? Do not let atrocities define you. Seize control of your life and lead the realm.”
Castian produced a silk handkerchief and gave me a moment to wipe my eyes.
“You will not be alone. Reign will help you. So too will Galan, Samuel, Bruin and countless others. Accept your destiny. Seize it. Make the Realm of the Fair a safer place in which to live. Think of the lives you can save.”
Gooseflesh raised on my skin. “I was thinking about the citizens of the realm in my despair. With me dead, Abaddon’s plan to vacate my soul for Rheagan would be moot.”
“Rheagan is my problem, not yours,” Castian said.
“Until she possesses me. How do I focus on a future when I wait in terror for her powers to grow strong enough to take control of my body?”
Castian pressed a hand to my forehead and an electrical charge tingled from my scalp through my body and sent goosebumps prickling along my skin. He placed his other hand over my heart, and the instant the circuit connected, a white-hot fire spread across my shoulders. I gritted my teeth, the scent of bergamot growing until it was rife in the air.
A moment later the burn was gone. I glanced down to my shoulder at the crescent moon tattoo inked on my skin.
“Safe from possession, now your task is to fight. Become Queen of the Realm and steer the course of your life. Stand for those who suffer at the hands of the plague of the realm.”
I stared at him, numb. “Where shall I begin?”
He moved back to his wife and brushed his finger along the line of her jaw. “Tell Samuel of your intentions, my sweet niece. Tell him what you want and he will make the arrangements.”