I’d swallowed panic about twenty million times in the last forty minutes. The drive to the diner on the River Walk was beset by traffic, and by my sheer distraction thanks to what I’d just discovered.

“Keep it together,” I said, and punched off the radio, as a jaunty Sheryl Crow song poured through the speakers. Definitely wasn’t in the mood for that. “Keep it the fuck together, Riley. You are fine. This is fine.”

Except it wasn’t fine. Because after five years of having my heart dragged through hot coals, then swearing I would never let it happen again, that if I was with a man, I would let it just be strictly physical and not distract me from my goals, I’d gone against it all. I’d started trusting Bryan. Started feeling for him.

God, I’d known it all along, hadn’t I?

During the sex, the mind-blowing, soul-shattering sex, I’d always had my doubts. That it was wrong, that I should leave and pursue another job. Yet, I’d stayed, and here I was.

“Slap bang in the middle of shit,” I said and put on my blinker, turning into the street adjacent to the River Walk. “Here I am. You’re an idiot, Riley.” I checked in the rearview mirror again, my eyes wild. I’d been checking in case the Riders had tailed me. In case they appeared to stop me, take me to Marcus.

I parked the car, shaking, then slipped out and locked it behind me. “You’re OK. You’re fine. You’re not a weakling, Riley. Come on. You’ve been through worse.”

A couple passed me by as I muttered and exchanged a glance, then looked back at me.

I colored red as a beet and waved my keys at them. “Just, um, practicing for acting class.”

It didn’t make a difference. What was I thinking? This wasn’t LA.

I exhaled and double-checked the Nissan was all locked up, then strode toward the steps which led down to the River Walk. As usual, the place was bustling, people eating lunch or leaning against the railing, looking out at the river.

The beauty of the place was lost on me. It didn’t matter that sunlight glimmered on the water, that music poured from speakers in a nearby restaurant, that people laughed. I was fucked. I was totally fucked.

And I had to speak to Bev about this. There was no way she’d put me in harm’s way. I could be suspicious about Bryan, because he was a question mark, but Bev? She’d been my best friend since the start, and I refused to believe she was somehow in on this.

I entered the restaurant, walked past my old colleagues, ignoring the smiles and waves from the other waiters, then barged into the kitchen, nearly shoving the swinging door into one of the waitresses.

“Hey, watch it, jackass,” the newbie said, and I hissed at her.

Yep. Actually hissed. Like a cat.

I’d hit my new bottom. “Bev!” I yelled, into the crowd of cooks.

“Out back,” one of them called back to me. I didn’t bother placing the face and name together. Didn’t matter now.

I rushed for the back of the kitchen, a volley of protests following me from the staff, and slammed out onto the steps behind the restaurant.

Bev stood in the breezeway between this building and the next, a smoke dangling from her fingers, and her focus on her cell phone.

“Bev,” I said, the door clicking shut behind me.

She let out a shriek and tossed both her cell and smoke into the air. “Jesus!” She tried snatching at both, but the phone slipped past her grasp. She snapped her hand back and sucked her finger. “Ow! I burnt it. I burnt it on the damn cigarette. What the hell, Riley? You scared the living bejesus out of me.”

“Bev,” I repeated.

“Yes, you’ve officially got my attention. Girl, what’s up?” Bev bent and picked up her cell phone, checked the screen wasn’t cracked. She stamped out the cigarette, reached into her pocket and brought out her pack and lighter.

“Bev.”

“Oh my god, what?” she laughed. “You’ve said my name three times. Are you having a stroke or something?”

“Bev, why didn’t you tell me your brother was a part of the Crimson Riders? Why didn’t you tell me he was a member?”

“Huh?” Bev’s jaw dropped, the smoke she’d inserted between her lips hanging from the corner of her mouth. “What are you talking about?” The cigarette bobbed up and down and she tore it free, cursed and pressed a finger to her lip. “Christ, Riley, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Will you please step down here, calm down, and tell me what’s going on.”

I clutched my bag to my side and walked down the steps toward her. I couldn’t mistrust my best friend. The thought of her betraying me was foreign. Surreal.

I stopped and tried wording this correctly. Swiftly, I ran through what I’d overheard on the phone. I finished, shaking from head-to-toe, again, but this time from anger. Frustration with myself—that I’d let someone in again, that I’d been so damn stupid to allow this.

“Wait, wait, wait, hold up. He actually said that? That he was a part of the Riders?” Bev asked.

“Yes,” I replied. “Yes, directly to my face. You didn’t know?”

“What? Of course, I didn’t know. God, Riley, do you think I would’ve set you up for an interview with him if I had? That’s nightmarish. Literally your worst nightmare.” She finished her cigarette and immediately lit another one.

I plucked it from her fingers. “What are you doing?”

“Smoking the stress away. Some people eat, I smoke.” She took the cigarette back.

“That’s not healthy.” I snatched it away again.

“Not fun. And not the issue, right now.” She lit another one and inhaled deeply. “You keep that one. You’re gonna need it. I swear, Riley, I had no idea. I would never… ugh, it just doesn’t make sense.”

“How could you not know?” I asked, thinking out loud.

“Excuse me?” Bev raised both eyebrows, jerking her head to one side. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re his sister,” I said, frankly. “Bev, I’m not going to bullshit you, right now. I am fucking freaked about this. I’m working for a man who’s part of the Crimson Riders and who just so happens to be your brother.” I couldn’t talk about everything else that’d happened between us. It wasn’t relevant to the conversation and it would only complicate things with Bev if she found out this way.

“Dude, chill,” Bev said, and tapped ash off the end of the cigarette. “I get why that seems weird to you, but I had no idea. Look, my brother and I haven’t exactly been arm-in-arm since the start. We were there for each other as kids, but there was a time, for like four years, where he just disappeared off the face of the planet. The next time we touched base was like, four years ago when Carly was two. I didn’t know. I didn’t ask. I didn’t imagine for a second he’d be involved in something like this. I just—it’s Roman. I hate to ask, Riley, but are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I heard him. He said it out fucking loud to me.”

“OK,” Bev said, nodding. She tossed her cigarette butt down in the dirt and stamped on it with her heels boot. “OK. I believe you, it’s just insane to me. He was always a good guy. A little rough around the edges, but a good guy.”

I shrugged. Now, this led to the question, what the hell was I going to do?

I wasn’t sure if Marcus had somehow set this up from the start, or if it was all a big coincidence, but I couldn’t work for Bryan anymore. Couldn’t risk that Marcus would find me and… god knew what. I’d figured he’d forgotten about me or been unable to track me down after Bev and I had relocated to the other side of town, but I’d been wrong.

Carly. What about poor Carly?

That was what ate at me the most. Bryan seemed like such a good father. Like a good man. Yet he was a part of all of this, and now poor Carly was too. I couldn’t abandon her.

“I need time to think,” I said. “Just the morning, until Carly gets off school. I have to have some peace of mind. Something. I don’t know.

“Totally,” Bev said, nodding. “Look, go hang out at our apartment. Most of your stuff is still there.”

I hadn’t moved into Bryan’s house fully, yet. It had only been a few days after all.

“Go chill there and work through this. Come up with a game plan. My shift finishes late afternoon, and then I’ll call you and we’ll talk about this, OK?”

“OK,” I said. “OK.” I drew her into a hug and squeezed her tight. “Thanks, girl, you’re the best.”

“What are sisters for?” She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, doubtlessly leaving some of her red lipstick behind. “Stay safe. Call me if you need anything else.”

“Thanks,” I said.

But I wouldn’t need to call. All I wanted, now, was time to work through this. To figure out how my past had found me again, after I’d successfully evaded it for so long. After starting fresh. I gave Bev a final goodbye, skipped out on our flip-off blow kisses goodbye, and made my way through the kitchen and out of the front of the restaurant, still glancing over my shoulder every few steps.

Watching. Waiting. Praying I wouldn’t hear that purring growl of a motorcycle’s engine.