The better part of a bottle of wine sat open in front of me. I had just about emptied my glass, and I was ready to top it off.

Drinking in the dark wasn’t exactly the best way to end the night, but I wasn’t ready to go to bed, and I had no interest in reading or watching TV.

The one thing I did want to do wouldn’t happen.

I wanted to talk to Kaleb.

But I sure as hell wasn’t going to call him. Or text him.

I put my phone away just to make sure I didn’t give into the urge or get too drunk and forget the promise I made to myself.

Astra called to check on me, asking if I was okay.

I lied.

Part of me wished I hadn’t, that I’d confessed to how miserable I truly was. If I had, she would have come back home, and we could have eaten ice cream and watched cheesy movies, and maybe I wouldn’t feel so pathetic.

Maybe I should just give in to the inevitable.

My parents were just going to keep pushing men like Windsor at me. At least Windsor wasn’t a total ass. I could be Piety Kiperman within a year if I played things right.

Piety Kiperman.

“Please,” I whispered, the very idea making my head hurt.

Life with him would be awful.

I’d be bored within three days, if not less.

But my parents were constantly pushing him at me, and if it wasn’t him, it would be somebody else. Mom had already sent me a text, asking how the date had gone and when we were going out again.

Tears burned my eyes, and I groaned, putting the glass down so I could press the tips of my fingers against my eyes, trying to stem the flow.

“Crying alone in the dark, drinking alone in the dark,” I muttered. “Pathetic.”

I couldn’t help it though. Everything seemed to be imploding around me and all within the span of a few days. I wanted to go back to my nice, normal existence when I’d been content.

Except content wasn’t enough now.

I’d felt what it was like to be happy. I’d only had a taste of it, but it had been enough. I wanted that back. I wanted something my parents had never had – passion. A partner who loved me, not just somebody who shared common interests.

I wanted things my parents wouldn’t even understand…and all they kept doing was pushing Windsor at me.

I wanted a man who loved me so much he was stupid with it. My dad was never stupid about anything.

The thought of him doing something stupid and crazy for my mother was just insane. The thought of my mother doing something stupid and crazy for my father was equally insane.

The sound of my own laughter caught me off-guard, but I’d started to think of that crazy, freefall sort of feeling I’d had when I climbed on the skyscraper roller coaster with Kaleb. I’d done it because of the way he’d smiled at me. I hadn’t been able to stop myself. It wasn’t even all that crazy, but my mother wouldn’t have done it.

My father…on a roller coaster?

Never.

“Stop it!” I grabbed the bottle of wine, and without even bothering to pour it into the glass, I took a drink. Rising, I headed straight into my bedroom and went to the window, staring outside. I’d never felt so lonely and empty before in my life.

If I could just convince myself that I was worried about his sister, I’d feel better.

If I could just convince myself that it had little to do with him as a person and more to do with the situation itself, maybe I’d be alright.

But I couldn’t do it.

Yes, I had concerns about Camry, but she wasn’t what had me lying awake at night.

I’d thought there was…something between us. I really had. But I must have been wrong. Maybe it was only growing on my side. If we’d had anything there, wouldn’t he have trusted me? Wouldn’t he have at least called or sent me a note? Something to let me know?

I took another drink of wine, then put the bottle on the nightstand. Falling back onto the bed, I stared up at the ceiling.

I wanted to tell myself that things would get better…things would turn around.

But I’d been doing that ever since he left, and so far, nothing had changed.

* * *

“You see…I told you a change would do you good…”

Astra’s wild, bawdy laugh had me giggling. “Look at that one…the blond.” My heart skipped a beat when he flicked ice-blue eyes my way.

He was so…so pretty. And biteable. And pretty. I wanted to just…bite him. Yeah. Bite him.

Astra giggled. “You’re licking your lips, PS. Don’t blame you though. Have you ever seen such a pretty man in all of your life?”

“Nope. Not ever.” Chin resting on my fist, I stared at him and sighed. I was entirely too drunk to be sitting here, gaping at some stranger – or maybe I was just drunk enough to be gaping at some stranger. I didn’t know.

I just knew I was drunk and I loved it.

The beautiful blond edged closer, and the woman a seat down from us reached out and stroked her hand down the back of his calf. I wanted to smack her. He ignored her, catching the chair that had been placed in the middle of the walkway and swinging a leg over it.

“I bet you anything he’s just pretty though. No brain inside that head.” I gestured to him, convinced that somehow made sense. “If you’re that pretty, you’ve got to have something wrong. Right?”

“Hey, you’re pretty and smart. I’m fucking beautiful and pretty damn sharp.” Astra laughed until she snorted and waved at the blond. He continued to twist his spine, a movement that made it clear that at least one thing was not lacking.

My mouth went dry.

“Besides, with that face, what does it matter if he has a brain? As long as he’s not a dick – I mean, I want him to have one…” She shot me a grin. “And it’s obvious he does.”

We were both so drunk, that was why it was so funny. It had to be.

The blond slid off the chair and went to his knees, crawling along the stage. I had a bill already clutched in my hand, and my fingers were shaking as he moved closer.

His skin was hot against my fingers, almost shockingly so. Our eyes caught, then held. I wished there was something I could say or do. Something like… Hey, you want to get a drink?

I bet that would make me stand out. Biggest loser he’d probably had to deal with in a long time, and I was fawning over him. My fingers lingered on his skin for so long that he caught my wrist and tugged my hand away.

But he didn’t let go.

At least not right away.

We stared at each other, and I bit my lip, tugging a little harder as a bunch of women around us started to whoop. He let go, loosening his grip slowly until I felt each slow brush of his fingers as they left my skin.

His eyes, so big and soft, surrounded by spiky lashes, held mine for another moment. I didn’t want him looking away, but in the next moment he did.

And I slumped in my seat.

That had been the most intense minute of my life – at least that I could recall, considering how freaking drunk I was.

“Wow…look at his ass.” Astra smacked her lips. “I just want to…bite him. Like all over. Don’t you?”

“Yes.”

I caught the server’s eye and waved my hand. I needed another drink. Desperately. Maybe if I got just a little more sloppy drunk, I could get him out of my head.

* * *

“It’s him!”

Astra grabbed my arm and squealed. “See! It’s him.”

I was already staring at the guy at the bar, face shielded by his blond hair, so I didn’t need Astra shaking me. It wasn’t helping my spinning head, either.

“Stop,” I said, tugging my arm away. My heart raced harder at the sight of him, but when Astra tried to tug me closer to the bar, I dug in my heels and resisted. “No. You’re supposed to be distracting me and helping me have fun. I’m drunk enough.”

“I’m not taking you over there to get drunk. He’s the distraction.” She was nowhere near as quiet as she tried to be. Several people swung their heads to look at us as she continued to pull me along. “Come on, PS.”

He flicked a glance our way, and the sight of his pale blue eyes had my heart hitching a beat or two. He immediately returned his interest to his glass though.

He had a booted foot hooked on the rung of the bar stool, broad shoulders slumped.

There was something…lonely about him.

Maybe it was because I was lonely too, but when Astra urged me along, I didn’t resist. He continued to stare into his drink as I continued to stare at him, swirling the whiskey around and around.

What are you looking for? I found myself wondering. You won’t find the answers there.

Astra nudged to me. “Talk to him. I dare you.”

“I stopped responding to dares a long time ago.” But I found myself taking one wobbly step and then another, and before I knew what I was doing, I had settled down next to him.

He didn’t even look up.

“Hi.”

Nothing.

I tried again. “I saw you dancing.”

He shrugged and lifted his glass. “So did a lot of other women. I don’t do private performances. Sorry.”

“Oh, I don’t want…”

He looked up at me.

Our eyes met.

Oh…wow…

* * *

Oh…wow…

He kissed me, and he tasted like heaven.

I giggled a little bit, because the bourbon he’d been drinking had been called something…heaven something. And I knew it was closer to hell, especially on the stomach.

But it tasted pretty damn good on him, and now he was with me, his skin hot and naked on mine.

“Stop,” he muttered when I slid my hand down his chest. “You’ve got to stop.”

“Why?” I giggled again as I slid my hands farther down, his skin hot against my palms. Hot and amazing. Everything about him was amazing.

“Stop, because…fuck. I need…”

“Yes, you need to fuck.” I laughed, delighted with everything. Curling my arms around his neck, I tugged him back to me. “You need to fuck me. Right?”

“Right…” He laughed this time, and then he kissed me again.

And again.

And again…

* * *

I jerked upright in the bed, staring at the wall.

That dream…

“Wow.”

The echo of something from the dream came back to haunt me.

Oh…wow.

Had I said that?

Or just dreamed it?

I couldn’t remember, couldn’t think.

Shaking, I rubbed my hands up and down my face.

I had a headache, and the outline of the bottle of wine mocked me. I’d drank almost half of it. Not that much in the scheme of things, and not enough to give me a hangover, but maybe enough to fuel a wild dream.

Yet…it didn’t feel like a dream,

Not really.

It had felt like…well, a memory.

“Wow.”