I’d come back to the studio to pack things up. It’d been more than a month since I produced anything decent. I’d never gone that long without taking a single picture, not since I first started my own professional studio. I wasn’t giving up, I told myself. I was just taking a break until I figured out what I would do next.

The common sense part of me knew that I was just making excuses. This wasn’t simply a loss of inspiration. It was a loss of desire. All I’d ever wanted to do from the moment I picked up my first camera was to be a photographer.

Until now.

Everything was numb. Gray.

And I was pretty sure my friends were going to stage an intervention for me in the near future if I didn’t snap out of it soon.

That was the main reason why I didn’t answer the door when someone knocked. I loved my cousin, but I hadn’t been able to stomach being around Erik this past month. He was too fucking happy. Even when he and Tanya were arguing, he was obnoxious. He said it was because he knew that what they had was stronger than a disagreement.

Bastard.

I heard the door open but ignored it. Whoever it was could go and–

“Alix.”

I jumped. Fuck me. It was her.

I turned around even as my brain kept trying to tell me that I’d imagined it. That it couldn’t possibly be Sine. She was gone. She’d left me.

But it was her.

Some part of my brain registered all of the physical things. Her wild curls. The bruised-looking flesh under her eyes. Her clothes hanging on her. How the skin on her face looked stretched too tight over her bones. The way her once sparkling eyes were dull.

But most of all, I was consumed by the fact that my heart seemed to have stopped, frozen. My lungs burning as I forgot to breathe.

I only had a few seconds for it all to sink in because then...

“I’m pregnant.”

I gave my head a shake because I must have heard her incorrectly. There was no way she was pregnant. None.

“I’m sorry to be blurting it out like that,” she continued, her accent thicker than it had been when she’d...left. She twisted her hands together and took a step forward. “I meant to be...I mean...dammit.”

Seeing her flustered broke me out of my daze. “Why?” The question came out flat. “Why would you leave if you’re...” I couldn’t finish the question. Saying the word would make it real.

“I didn’t know,” she said. Her eyes flicked to mine for a moment. “When I left, I didn’t know. I found out on Monday but didn’t want to be telling you over the phone.”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem telling me we were done via text, so I have a hard time believing that you can’t give news over the phone.” I sounded petty, but the filter between my brain and my mouth wasn’t really working. It’d stalled somewhere around pregnant and hadn’t come back online yet.

I waited for her to come back with something sarcastic or snarky or angry. Anything that meant we could have it out and finally get some closure. Move on.

Or, as much as we could move on when a baby was in the mix.

Baby.

Shit.

How in the fuck had that happened?

“That day – the day I left – I was on my way into work.” Her voice stayed the same. Quiet. Even.

Emotionless.

“While I was at the bodega, my brother called. My mother had passed out and was rushed to the hospital.”

Shit.

“I rushed home, packed, then went straight to the airport. There was a cancellation almost right away.”

My stomach continued to drop, and my heart followed.

“I was on the phone with Donald until I stepped onto the plane...and turned my phone off.”

By the time I’d realized she was missing, she’d already been in the air.

With her phone off.

Because her mom had been rushed to the hospital.

I was a complete ass.

“I should have called you, I know,” she continued. “But I didn’t think of it with all the rush of getting on the plane. All I could think of was getting home to Mam.”

The worst kind of ass.

“We were landing when I remembered. As soon as I turned on my phone, I...” She swallowed hard. “I saw your messages.”

Petulant, childish messages.

She risked another look at me, and I wondered if she could see the guilt written across my face.

“I accept my part for what happened between us,” she said. “And I’m not here to be asking for anything. I have no expectations–”

“I’m so sorry.” I crossed the distance between us, my heart ready to beat out of my chest. “This is all my fault. I fucked up. I should have trusted you, trusted that there was a good reason–”

She shook her head, fatigue written on every line of her body. “Water under the bridge. No need to dredge up the past.”

I reached out for her, then thought better of it. She probably didn’t want me to touch her, not after everything I’d done.

But I’d be damned if I stopped trying.

“I mean it, Sine. I am so sorry. I never should have said those things.” My heart twisted again. I wasn’t numb anymore. I was feeling, and it sucked. “I was an asshole.”

Not even a hint of a smile.

“Please, Sine.” My voice cracked. “I was wrong. Forgive me.”

It was a plea, not a command.

“Only if you forgive me for not telling you.”

I couldn’t stop myself from taking her hands. Despite the heat outside, her hands were cold. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were thinking about your mom. As you should have been. You didn’t deserve to have to deal with my shit on top of everything else.”

Her bottom lip trembled, and I released her hands to cup her face between my palms. I hated seeing her upset, and hated even more that I was responsible for it.

“Whatever you think you should feel guilty for, don’t. You did nothing wrong. I was a bastard for how I behaved.”

I took a step back.

“Please tell me that your mother’s okay.” If her mom wasn’t...I’d never forgive myself for putting the extra stress on Sine.

“She is.”

Some of the life seemed to be coming back into Sine’s eyes. That was good. I needed her to be herself again...before we talked about that other thing she said.

“And I forgive you.”

Relief flooded through me, almost making my knees weak.

“But there is a question I’d like you to answer.”

I nodded, wondering if I should ask her to go somewhere else for us to have the baby discussion.

Baby.

Fuck.

I was going to be–

“What’s going to happen now? With us, I mean.”

Shit.