“Miss. Miss.”

A woman’s voice pulled me from a drug-induced slumber. For several long seconds, I couldn’t remember where I was or why I needed to wake up. As I finally managed to raise my heavy eyelids, I saw a pair of near-black eyes watching me, and a pleasant smile on a plain face.

“We’ll be making our descent shortly.” She straightened and moved on.

My eyes followed her, my befuddled brain slowly taking in random details and piecing them together until I was able to remember that I was in an airplane. Once that clicked into place, everything else came flooding back and the fog that’d been in my head dissipated.

I was going home. Mam was in the hospital. I needed to get to her.

I rubbed my hands over my eyes, then ran my fingers through my curls. They were probably sticking out at mad angles, but as long as I didn’t look like the sort of random psycho who shouldn’t be allowed into the country, I didn’t care. I dug in my purse for some gum, then sat back and waited, my leg bouncing, fingers tapping.

“Nervous?”

I looked over at my seatmate. The elderly woman had been busy chatting with the person in front of us before I’d fallen asleep, but now her attention was focused on me.

Wonderful.

“Just eager to get on the ground,” I said, making an attempt to smile.

“Coming home from a trip?” she asked, eyes lighting up when she heard my accent.

I shook my head. “I moved to New York for school and stayed.”

Or, at least, that’s how it’d been.

“Ah,” she said. “Home for a visit then?”

This was not a conversation I wanted to have, but I couldn’t figure out a way to politely ignore her question. I could, however, answer her honestly and hope it discouraged additional questions. “My mam’s in the hospital.”

“Oh, you poor dear.” She put her hand on my arm as her eyes teared up.

For the next twenty-five minutes, she told me her life story, and I smiled and nodded, letting the words slip in one ear and out the other. She meant well, I supposed, thinking that her tale of woe offered me some sort of commiseration, but I didn’t want to share what I was going through with a complete stranger. I had my siblings waiting for me, and they were the only ones I wanted to talk to about this. They would alleviate my guilt for not being there when it happened, for not being able to rush right to the hospital.

I still held it against myself though. Until the sleep aid I’d taken had pulled me under, I’d been going through every decision I’d made, every choice to stay in the States, every time I’d put schoolwork and saving for an apartment before trying to fly home for holidays, every missed opportunity to call or text or video chat. Each one of them ran through my head, one after another, mocking me, telling me what a horrible daughter I’d been. I should have gone to England. France. Scotland. Wales. Spain. A thousand different places that were closer than New York.

After college, I could have gone back. It hadn’t been like I’d had some sort of glamorous job that I couldn’t have found in Ireland. Even if I hadn’t wanted to join in the family business, there were plenty of opportunities just as good as the temp work I’d been doing in New York.

Except I wouldn’t have met Alix.

I bolted upright in my seat, startling the woman next to me.

Shit! Alix!

I’d completely forgotten to call him and tell him what happened. I’d been so busy and then security had taken forever. I’d barely made it onto the plane before being told to shut all electronics down. Everything else had slipped my mind. He must have been going crazy, not knowing where I’d been for the last ten hours.

I pulled my phone out of my purse. I’d turned it off rather than just putting it on airplane mode so I wouldn’t drive myself crazy constantly checking it for updates that couldn’t come through. Before I could turn it on, however, the flight attendant was back.

“Miss, you’ll need to put that away.” Her voice was polite, the words something she’d probably said a million times before.

I nodded and put it back in my bag. A few more minutes wouldn’t hurt anything.

My nervous fidgeting grew worse the more time that passed. It felt like we’d been waiting forever, first to land, and then to come to a stop. I unbuckled as soon as the light went off, then gathered my things, ready to go as soon as we were allowed. Normally, I would’ve been the person who let others go first, but not today. It was almost midnight, but I had enough adrenaline coursing through my veins that I knew I’d be up for hours. Jet lag was going to hit me hard, but not before I had the chance to see for myself that Mam would be okay.

I’d debated the wisdom of checking luggage, but in the end, I managed to get enough for a week crammed into a single carry-on, so I went straight from the plane to the place where Colin was waiting. He’d been dating Donald for three years now, but I’d only met him once when he’d come with my brother to my graduation.

As I paused by the door, I turned on my phone. Colin was supposed to text me when he arrived so I’d know where to find him, but I didn’t see a message from him yet. What I did see was a dozen missed messages, almost as many missed calls and voicemails. All from Alix.

Fuck.

I scanned through the messages, frowning as the tone went from concerned to annoyed. He wasn’t exactly being rude, but they were shitty enough that by the time I moved on to the voicemails, I was ready to give him a piece of my mind when I called him back.

The first couple voicemails were similar to the texts, full of worry about why I hadn’t come to work or let him know where I was. With every new one, my heart sank, and my stomach churned. Then I reached the last.

Miss McNiven, as you have failed to show courtesy and respect toward your job, or to me, there is no need to contact me. You are in breach of contract, and your employment has been terminated. Your things will be delivered to your apartment. Should you have any questions, please contact my lawyer to discuss the penalties for breaking your contracts. Good day.

What. The. Fuck.

I stared at my phone as if that would make it less awful. Okay, I’d made a mess of things by not calling him before I left, for certain, but he hadn’t even given me the benefit of the doubt for twenty-four hours. Apparently, if I wasn’t in the hospital, then whatever reason I could have had for not contacting him wasn’t good enough. I’d inconvenienced him. Worried him. Made him waste his time.

The tension that had been building inside me didn’t break in a flood of tears. No, he didn’t deserve me to cry over him. Not when my mother was lying in a hospital bed. He didn’t know that, but he’d made assumptions, not based on what he knew of me, but on what he considered important.

He didn’t know me at all.

Everything I thought we had was now tarnished by the realization that it – that I – had never meant as much to him as he had to me.

A text alert came up from Colin, telling me he’d just arrived.

Fuck Alix.

If he didn’t have the decency to not believe the worst, then he wasn’t the man I thought he was.

My fingers shook as I tapped out a response. Once sent, I would put him aside and focus on the reason I was here.