CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Cami
“I think you’re getting it. Another handful of ruined grapefruits and you should be good to go,” Sketch said as he peeked over my shoulder to see my newest tattooed fruit masterpiece.
“Yeah?” I asked and because I was a little nervous and insecure my voice sounded a bit higher than normal.
The thought of actually moving on to human skin had my head freaking out. I mean, if I screwed it up, it wasn’t like I could just throw it out, grab another, and start over, you know? It was there, permanent and all. One slip of a line and the whole thing could be ruined. I’d spent hours looking over pictures of bad tattoos with the guys, each of them pointing out where things had gone wrong. And some of them were just wrong from the get-go.
“Don’t worry, C-money. We don’t expect your first one to be any good. Or even your twentieth. And I promise not to laugh at you too much.”
He snatched up one of the cookies from the box sitting on the counter and shoved the whole thing in his mouth. I had learned that these were Ethel’s “special goods” and I had been in love with every one that had come so far. I didn’t know this woman personally, but I wanted to. Those sugary treats were addicting. It wasn’t a good idea to have them sitting so close to me. I was working on my will power, that was for sure.
“Thanks so much, Sketch. You are such a gentleman.” I rolled my eyes at him but in truth, expected nothing less from the guy.
Blade came strolling in, something small and furry in the crook of his arm.
“Is that…a dog?” I asked trying to figure it out.
The thing let out a little growl then a yelp and I had my answer.
“Why do you have a dog?” Sketch asked before I had the chance to.
“Went to bed last night with a bitc…beautiful lady…then woke up with this thing licking my face. No woman in sight. When I picked her up she was carrying this big thing I thought was a purse, but as it turns out, it was one of those rich bitch—sorry, Cami—carrying things.”
“Yeah, we all have one of those for our toy dogs that we treat like accessories,” I said sarcastically, not hurt even a little by his comment.
I wasn’t that girl anymore. And maybe I had never really been her, something I was thankful for.
“So…you have a dog now?” Sketch asked, eyeing the thing.
“Seems that way. Didn’t know her name, let alone get her number, and since the bag was unzipped, one could only assume she didn’t want to take it with her when she left. Either way, this thing is cute as fuck, so I’m gonna keep it.”
That was almost adorable.
“What’s its name?” I asked as I made my way to give the shaking bundle of fur some love. Lucky for me, it didn’t try to bite me. “Come here cutie. Oh yes. You are so ugly you’re cute.”
Because really, I wasn’t sure what kind of mix it was, but it looked like it came from the reject farm.
“Fuck off. She’s cute as hell. And her tag said Skippy, like the fucking peanut butter. I hate peanut butter, so I’m changing it to Bitch.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised, and I swore I saw his lips twitch a bit like he was trying to play off a joke. Blade making jokes? Yes, that was very weird.
“No, try again,” I said raising a brow at him as I continued to pet the dog.
Her fur was surprisingly soft and it was obvious that she had been cared for. Her nails were cut and her breath didn’t stink. I made such comments to Blade as a hint to let him know that dogs took a lot of work. They weren’t something you could just have to carry around.
“Yeah, I know. I did all that. Gave her a bath, went to the pet store and asked how to trim her nails, and got her some of those green chew things that help with her teeth. Also, brushed the damn things. Didn’t know you could brush a dog’s teeth. That was a lot of fucking fun.”
I was floored. And by the way my jaw was on the floor, he knew it too.
“What? I may be a gruff asshole, but I’m not a monster. I know this baby needs to be taken care of and it’s not like she can’t do it herself. And I might not know exactly what to do, but I know how to ask the right people,” Blade said and his tone held an ‘I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks’ ring to it.
“So this name…” I said bringing it back around.
“Harley.”
“No,” I said shaking my head.
“Mona.”
“The fuck?! That’s terrible, man,” Sketch said before I had a chance to.
“Biscuit?”
I shot him a look.
“It was the first meal we shared together,” he said talking about the dog. “And I figured you’d veto sausage and egg.”
I busted out laughing. Come on, that was really flipping adorable.
“Well, hello there Biscuit,” I said moving in to get kisses on my nose.
“The hell is that?” Brand said walking up from the back, having been in the office and missed the whole thing.
“Biscuit,” Blade practically grunted.
“You know that’s a dog and not a biscuit, right?”
“Yes, jackass. Her name is Biscuit.”
“Um, okay then,” Brand said shrugging off the fact that he was still lost. “We’ll be in the office. Don’t bother us and don’t fuck anything up.”
With that, he was dragging me through the shop and into the back room. Once we were both inside the office he closed the door. I didn’t have a chance to open my mouth and ask what was wrong before his lips were on mine, his rough, warm hands on my jaw.
There was something different about this kiss. I didn’t question it. I merely took and gave everything I had in me. He backed me up to the desk, then with strong arms, lifted me up and gently placed me on top. The kiss continued, neither of us taking the steps to go further.
For the most part, we’d kept things pretty professional at the shop. Sure there was the occasional touch. Or his arm around my waist when we were standing together. And then there were the kisses to my temple and the ones that were stolen when no one was looking. But we hadn’t taken it beyond that. Which I was totally alright with. I mean, we were pretty much around each other twenty-four seven, if we didn’t take a break at some point, we were bound to burn out. Right? Maybe. I had no idea. But I loved that he respected his business and me enough to put a pin in it.
When we were hanging out with people, he was a little more affectionate but it never went to the point of being inappropriate. I always followed his lead and found that it was the perfect balance to the intensity we had behind closed doors.
So, that said, whatever this was led me to think that something was up.
“Talk to me,” I said finally gathering the strength to tear myself away from him.
My hand cradled his face as I captured his gaze. There were so many emotions swirling in those magical chocolate orbs. A heavy feeling came crashing down on me and I felt the urge to cry. But I held it back as best as I could. I wouldn’t have said that my eyes stayed completely dry, but I was able to keep the tears from falling.
“Sometimes I can’t think straight around you,” he started and I gave him a little smile of understanding because it was very much the same for me. “But then, I get a moment alone and I can’t help but let it all flow in. I get lost in here sometimes.” He touched the side of his head and I knew where he was coming from. I often was in my head a lot, too.
“So, tell me about it. I’m here with you. I want to know. I want to be apart of whatever is going on with you.”
“I don’t deserve you,” he breathed out, his forehead coming to rest on mine. “I just can’t help but think about if this is the best thing for you. It’s stupid, maybe, but I see Laurel and how she doesn’t seem to be handling everything all that well, and I wonder if I’m really doing the right thing by you.”
His words couldn’t have been more true as far as the Laurel thing went. She was off in her own downward spiral. I’d tried to be there as much as I could, but it was clear she didn’t want help. She didn’t want anything, in fact. The last time I’d been to see her, in her tiny apartment that I knew she was suffocating in, she had told me that she didn’t want my pity and sent me on my way.
I didn’t hold it against her. How could I? I had a tiny idea of what she was going through, but she had been embedded into the family and lifestyle more than I had been. She had been the good daughter with the engagement that made the parents happy and proud. She blamed herself for it all, and while it had been her decision that started this domino effect, she shouldn’t have had to pay for it this way.
Our parents sucked.
And that was putting it nicely.
I had Brand.
I had Sketch, Blade, and Chris.
I had the members of the club that had taken me in and accepted me for who I was.
She had no one except me and she was trying really hard to cut that off as well.
Her words had hurt me, but that didn’t mean I was going to give up on her. We needed each other. I was giving her time to lick her wounds and pick herself up. She was strong. I’d seen it from time to time growing up. So while I couldn’t help but worry about her because I loved her, I knew I didn’t need to.
But what all of this had to do with me, I wasn’t sure. I was not Laurel and I hoped he could see that.
“It’s just, I don’t want to be that guy,” he went on when I couldn’t find the right words to say because I was too busy trying to figure out where he was going with all of this. “The guy that comes between a woman and her family. And that’s me right now. I’m sure if you dropped me, walked out of this shop without a look back, and talked to your parents you could make things right.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
Then it hit me. He had kissed me like he was saying goodbye. Like he was willing to let me go if I needed him to.
But the thing was, I didn’t need or want him to. The only thing I needed was him.
“My life is not normal to someone like you.”
I shot him a look like I couldn’t believe that he had just flipping said that to me.
“No, wait,” he said trying to backtrack. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that the club life isn’t for everyone. I would never want to force you into a lifestyle that you wouldn’t be happy with. I don’t want to lose you, but I want you to be happy. There are things I will never be able to tell you. And, fuck, things that could happen. I’ll never forgive myself for that night. You could have been hurt or even killed all because of me. I need you to really think about this.”
How could I not love this man?
“Look at me and listen good, because I will not have this conversation again. Got me?” I made sure I had his eyes before I continued. “I love you. You have stolen my heart and weaved yourself into my soul. I don’t know how or when it happened, but it did. And I accept it, which means I accept every single thing about you. But I will say this, I don’t want to know. Whatever is going on with the club and all that, I don’t want to know about it. Maybe it’s a dumb move to want to stick my head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exist. But the best way I figure I can protect you and myself is to know as little as possible.”
“I need you to be sure you want this because I don’t know if I can give you any more of me, you have it all already, and if we go on, it will crush me if you walk away.”
“Brandon Reed,” I said saying his full name for the first time, well what I knew of it. I like the way it sounded and I smiled. “I am here, with you, in this, always.”
The vow spilled easily from my lips and I meant every word.
“I’m glad you found me,” he whispered almost like he couldn’t believe it. “I love you, Cami.”
“I love you, too. So, so, so much.”
Then he kissed me and the moment was perfect.
He was perfect.
I needed him. Like, right that second.
“No,” he said as I went for his belt. “I respect you too much to give you a quick fuck on the desk in this office.”
Then he snagged my wrist and all but dragged me out through the back and into the main part of the shop.
“We’re leaving for the day. Oh and Blade, your dog just pissed on your timeout couch.” He didn’t even stop as he spoke.
How had I missed the dog thing?
Oh, yeah, because my head was currently dizzy with the whiplash I’d just been through.
It didn’t matter that this day seemed like it had only gotten started and it was insanely sideways already, because Brand took me back to the clubhouse and made me forget everything that had happened.