CHAPTER EIGHT
Brand
The woman was driving me insane, and that was putting it mildly. There was something beautifully off about her. Every time I caught her struggling in silence, trying her best to handle the situation on her own, it made me wonder if I’d gotten everything about her all wrong. It wasn’t that she seemed to have too many issues handling the things that we did here every single day, it was the fact that she refused to ask for help.
And those weird as fuck little sayings she had. I found myself chuckling every time I overheard her. It was like she refused to cuss but got around it by stringing a bunch of random words together.
“Oh, bees and honey.”
“Work you, stupid piece of moldy bread.”
“Ouch! Son of a biscuit maker.”
“Turd nugget.”
That was just a few of them. Biscuit seemed to be a reoccurring thing.
“Oh, for the love of biscuits and gravy.” Cami’s frustrated voice floated in through my opened door.
See what I meant?
“Cami?” I called out softly after I managed to quell my silent laughter.
“No, it’s fine. Just the Internet isn’t working on this thing. I’ll figure it out,” she said in an ongoing ramble.
“Cami.” My voice a bit more firm that time. I didn’t want to sit there like an asshole and make her figure it out but at the same time, I wasn’t about to beg her to let me help.
“I’m just going to turn it off and on again. If that doesn’t work, I’ll bring it to you.” I knew as she spoke those words she was already doing it.
I left the security of my room. I may have been hiding out in there. No, I didn’t have a client at the moment and my room was spotless as always, so there was really no reason for me to be in there just sitting around with my thumb up my ass.
“You know you can ask for help right?” I asked, coming up behind her and looking over her shoulder. “I don’t mind.”
“Um, yeah, I mean, I know, I just don’t want to bug you.”
She wouldn’t look at me and for some reason, it irked me. My hand rested lightly on her shoulder and she flinched like a frightened little rabbit. It bothered me because it seemed the more she was around me, the more she seemed to avoid me. Especially times like this, when we were alone in the shop. I knew it was just me. She wasn’t standoffish with Sketch. She didn’t avoid Blade even though the guy was way scarier than me. I mean, until you got to know him, that was.
No, there was just something about me that she didn’t like or shied away from. It bothered me to no end because I didn’t think I was that bad of a guy. I was fun. I was easy to get along with. I was even playful. Right? Or so I thought. My brain struggled to find an explanation for her behavior but I kept coming up blank. I didn’t think I’d done anything to make her feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t think of one time I’d said or done anything inappropriate.
True, there was the bathroom thing. But I’d noticed it before then. I knew the fact that I’d seen her in her underwear right after she had gotten barfed on, didn’t help things. In all honesty, I hadn’t meant to barge in on her like that. I had no idea that she was going to rid her clothes or that she would have stripped that quickly and in hindsight, I should have knocked and waited for her reply. I did kick myself for that one.
“Fiddlesticks! Now it’s not turning on at all.”
I chuckled, I couldn’t help it. I was sure if I called her cute right then she’d run away somewhere and hide. So I did my best to cover it up with a cough, which only made her turn and eye me with suspicion.
“Forget the tablet,” I said gently grabbing it away from her. “I have a guy that might be able to fix it. If not, I’ll get another one.”
“I’ll pay—”
I cut her off with a shake of my head. I knew she could afford it, but that wasn’t the point. I wasn’t going to take her or her parents’ money.
“Here,” I said as I pulled out a sketch pad and plopped it onto the counter. “Draw me a waterfall. Throw some birds flying around there too.”
I backed away, watching her fiddle around for a pencil.
“You have twenty minutes,” I called out, then turned and went into my room.
Exactly twenty minutes later, I came back out and saw her arm frantically moving back and forth. I watched her for a second, admiring how cute she was. Her hair hung down, covering half of her face. Her chin was tilted to the side and a look of pure concentration was trapped between her brows.
This woman.
This woman was doing things to me that I wasn’t ready to give into.
This woman was going to ruin me. Only I wasn’t sure how.
“Times up,” I said as I moved closer to her.
“Ah! Okay,” she said with a tiny jump as I peered over her shoulder.
“It’s good. Remember when you do tattoos, the detail is going to be in your head. So, these here,” I said as I pointed to a few shaded lines, “aren’t really necessary. If you have time, then yes, you can add them. But think about it more as an outline. A page in a coloring book. They, the client, are going to trust in you to put the rest in there. Plus, you don’t want too much for when you transfer it to skin. You understand?”
“Yeah, makes sense,” she mumbled while her head did a slow nod.
Then she was staring at her drawing while her teeth moved to sink into the side of her lip. A move that only made my eyes snap to those plump, red lips.
I needed to get away. So, my only solution right then was to keep her busy. For the rest of the day, I gave her drawing after drawing to do, giving her a set amount of time for each one. She caught on quickly and I noticed how her lines changed. Instead of shading, she was marking the shaded spots with thinner lines than the outline. I was impressed and honestly, couldn’t wait to see her work. She still had a lot to learn and a long ways to go, but I’d get her there. I knew that much.
After I closed up the shop, I shot Chris a text and headed to the beach. I needed to clear my head and I knew I couldn’t do that in a clubhouse full of noise. I parked my bike in his driveway and sometimes I almost couldn’t believe that this house was his. There still wasn’t much on the inside, considering that he’d just moved in a few weeks ago right after closing on the place. The sellers were ready to be rid of the house and had already cleared their stuff out. They paid extra to expedite the sale, which Chris didn’t complain about at all. It wasn’t as big as some of the other beach-front homes around, but it was perfect for him.
I let myself in through the side gate and walked the bare path to the beach. He was already out there with a case of beer and blanket spread out on the dry sand. A simple text and he got me. I didn’t even need to tell him anything.
He handed me an opened beer as I flopped down beside him. I grabbed it and we sat there in comfortable silence for a long time.
“The girl?” he asked not looking at me.
I studied him in the dim light of the half moon.
“You look at her the same way…”
He didn’t need to finish that statement. I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk about it. I hadn’t admitted it to myself, so there wasn’t even the thought of admitting it out loud. But it seemed like I didn’t even need to. He got me. He knew me.
Reagan.
But I felt like I couldn’t even compare the two. Cami didn’t feel the same as Reagan, if that even made any sense. Reagan had a piece of me much like Chris did. I had no other way to explain it other than we were kindred souls or some shit. But Cami…there was something about her that was more.
Fuck.
Now I was really thinking about it when I’d tried so hard not to. I had all these questions in the back of my mind and now I was having to actually answer some of them.
My head hung down and I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers.
“I like Cami,” he continued on when I didn’t say anything. “She’s funny and laid back. Although, she acts a little weird around you. Can’t quite figure that out.”
“Yeah,” I breathed out. “I’ve noticed that too.”
“It bothers you?”
“Yep. It shouldn’t. She’s just there to learn the ways and help keep the shop running, it’s not like I need her to be my best friend. Hell, I don’t even really need her to like me. As long as she listens and gets things done, nothing else matters.”
“But it bugs you. Then fix it. Talk to her.” His shoulders lifted in a quick shrug. He could tell I wasn’t there yet. I wasn’t quite sure how to talk about it or what to say, so he was giving me an out. But maybe I wasn’t sure I wanted to take it.
“I just can’t figure her out.” Yes, that had to be it. That had pretty much been it from day one. “Like, why is she there. Why did she pick my shop of all the shops? And the big one, why does it seem to mean so much to her? At first, I thought it was just her way to piss her parents off. Rich girl bored. But she works hard. She watches everything when she’s in that room with me. And I can see her mind working to take it all in and process everyting. She listens and asks questions. To be honest here, she kinda blows my mind. Maybe I was a little judgmental at first, but I take it all back now.”
“Do you really think that’s it, that you want to know why she wants to be a tattooist?” He pinned me with a hard, questioning look. One that made me pause and think.
“I saw her in her bra and panties,” I whispered, moving my gaze to the gently rolling ocean as it lapped against the shore. “Some girl puked all over her. I felt so fucking bad. She took it in stride and it amazed the shit out of me. I went to bring her a clean shirt and I walked into the bathroom…she wasn’t wearing much. I wanted her. I did. And I feel shitty about it.”
“Why? You’re human. She was nearly naked. I imagine she looks pretty hot without clothes on. So what’s the big deal?”
“I wanted her,” I repeated.
Sure, I found women attractive. And sometimes I give them a second look. But for me to really want someone, is kind of rare. Chris knew this, I think he knew this about me without me even having to tell him. In fact, I was pretty sure he was the one that helped me figure out that I wasn’t a fuck and run kind of guy. That I had to have some more—something a lot more, to want someone.
“Puke smell and all, huh?” He laughed and I playfully punched him on the arm. “I don’t need to tell you what you just admitted, do I?”
“No,” I said and let out a long breath of air. “But I don’t think it matters, because the girl is clearly not into me. She doesn’t even want to be around me most of the time. She’s not mean about it but at the same time, I can tell.”
I felt things for Cami and she didn’t feel anything for me. Story of my life, it seemed. Stupid fucking me, yet again.
“What’s going on with Ky lately?” he asked, sensing that I needed a subject change. “I mean, Lake has been pretty absent too. But Ky seems like he’s avoiding me or us or something. I don’t know. I just feel like he never hangs out anymore.”
“Huh?” I said, scratching my cheek as I thought about the last couple of weeks.
I hadn’t really realized it, but he was right. It seemed like every time Chris and I tried to make plans with him, he seemed to have something to do. Same for Lake, although not as much. He did hang out with Sketch, Mouse, Chris, and me the other night at the bar. I knew Lake had been pulling more shifts not only at the mechanic shop, but also at the docks at night. I imagined he was pretty tired after all of that.
“Maybe he has a girl he’s been seeing. It could be he doesn’t want to bring her around yet,” I said thinking that could be the only logical explanation.
Ky wasn’t a one-woman kind of guy, so maybe the newness of a relationship had him a little timid about sharing the news. Who knew? I wasn’t sure if I’d bring it up to him or not. I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, I wanted to let him know we were there for him. I was his brother and friend, I’d be there even if he just needed to talk. Sometimes it was just awkward being a guy and trying to figure out how to let my brothers know that I was good at listening if they needed.
“Yeah,” Chris breathed out. “Maybe.”
We sat there another hour or so in silence. Both of us lost deep in the places we tried to avoid during the daytime. It was nice to have the comfort of someone there without feeling like I had to share every little thing I was thinking about.
But the thoughts confused the hell out of me, that was for sure.
I let the train run wild. I gave into what I was feeling. And I wasn’t sure at the end of the night, if I was alright with it.
Once the beer was gone, we moved inside. I crashed on his couch because he hadn’t gotten around to setting up the spare rooms yet. Even knowing that he would wake me up in a few hours with a cup of coffee right before dashing off down the beach, I couldn’t have more grateful for this place.