CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Cami
The room was closing in on me. There was a huge TV but I couldn’t take the noise. I tried to leave it on with the volume on mute, but the flickering lights bouncing off the walls only made me flashback to earlier. So I sat there with the small lamp next to the bed as the only source of light. My back was pressed so hard against the wooden headboard, that the skin along my spine started to sting.
Sketch tucked me away in this room. He left only telling me that I should wash up. And that he was sure Brand wouldn’t mind if I borrowed something to wear. So, I’d taken a shower. I was desperate to wash this day away, only it didn’t really work like I’d hoped. I contemplated putting my clothes back on. It took me a good long few minutes of going back and forth with myself before I gave in and gingerly rummaged through Brand’s dresser. I gave in not only because I wanted to get rid of anything that reminded me of what had happened the last few hours, but also because I just needed his scent around me. As crazy as it might have seemed, it comforted me and gave me some small amount of relief from the anger and fear that gripped me.
Then I crashed. Not as in I slept. No, I mean the adrenaline wore off and everything hit me hard. The tears were there, filling up my eyes, but I was too much in shock to let them fall. I’d been shot at. Brand had been taken away. I had hidden possible evidence. I mean, I didn’t know for sure, but come on, why else would he have tucked the gun away. I didn’t want to think about that. What was done, was done.
Oh, God!
Brand had been shot. Even if he hadn’t seemed like it was a big deal, I thought it was. I was worried sick about him. The seconds ticked on, taunting me, laughing at me, for what a fool I’d been. Foolish at first to think that what I had felt between Brand and me was nothing more than my desperate brain. Foolish that I thought he was gay and those little moments when I’d caught him staring at me in a daze meant nothing. And stupidly, completely foolish to think that I could go back to anything else after that kiss. It was just one kiss. One dumb lock of the lips. It hadn’t lasted nearly as long as I wished it had. But oh, sweet baby Jesus, did it imprint itself on my soul.
In that moment, nothing else about about him mattered. Not the fact that he was in a motorcycle club. That he was possibly on the wrong side of the law, because at the moment when he kissed me I didn’t know for sure. And honestly, I didn’t really know now, but I was a smart enough girl to catch onto the signs and read between the lines that hadn’t even been said.
Then it was over, and I found myself caring about those things far too much. And not in the way a normal person would. All I wanted to do was protect him and his club. I wanted to do anything and everything to find the answers to the things I felt in my gut were wrong. I wanted to save him.
I needed him. I didn’t know it before and it all seemed to be happening so fast, but I needed him. Maybe it had been there all along and the circumstances of the things I’d led myself to believe held me back. Kept me from realizing how I felt.
None of that mattered now.
The door opened unexpectedly and my eyes snapped in that direction. His beautiful eyes landed on mine and instantly his face softened. I didn’t think. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t care if I looked like a desperate fool.
My legs unfolded from my chest and in a blink, I crashed into his hard body.
“Shhh,” he whispered as his arms circled around me and held me tightly. “It’s okay.”
That was when the stupid tears fell. I couldn’t help it. I tried to speak but the words fell out of my mouth in a jumbled language.
“Cami.” His tone had a chuckle to it and I wanted to hit him for thinking anything about this was funny. His big, rough hands framed my face and tilted it until I was looking into his beautiful chocolate eyes. With one hand he swiped the hair away from my face and gently tucked it behind my ear. “I’m fine. But I won’t lie, I kind of like the idea that you were worried about me.” His lips twitched as if he was holding back a smile.
“It’s stupid, I know. I can’t explain…” My words trailed off and for once I was glad my brain had cut my mouth off from the crashing runaway train of word vomit. I blew out a hard breath, just happy that he was here. “Your shoulder. Shit. And they took you away…I-I hated that.”
“And I hated that you had to see all that.” His eyes turned sad for a moment. “I’m sorry I put you in danger. I’ll never forgive myself for that. Cami…”
“Don’t,” I all but screamed. I’d had hours to think and I’m sure he’d had the same. And I thought about a lot during that time. At the end of it all, I knew with full certainty that I didn’t want him to push me away, and so I wasn’t even going to let him try. “I get it. You and I are from completely different worlds. But I…I can’t help but feel that there is something here. I don’t want you to let me go.”
“My world can be messy. You deserve better.”
“I like messy. I like life full of color. If I wanted bland and boring, I wouldn’t have ever walked into your shop. I wouldn’t have ever stood there and all but begged for you to teach me. I sure as fuck wouldn’t have offered to scrub toilets for you.”
“You just said ‘fuck.’” He sounded way too amused to be taking what I was saying seriously.
“Yeah, well,” I said as I ran my fingers through my tangled hair. “I guess getting shot at will do that to me.”
“Not going to lie, I think your cuss word filter is cute as hell.” There was that stupid twinkle in his eyes.
I only had a second to get lost in it before his lips descended onto mine. I welcomed the kiss. I wanted it. I needed it more than anything right then, or maybe ever. My hand fisted his shirt as I pushed up onto my toes.
“I knew there was something about you that day you walked into my shop. I didn’t know why you kept clinging to my thoughts, but I didn’t mind it one bit,” he said as his lips grazed the tender flesh of my neck. I wanted to tell him that it had been the same for me but my brain had gone into shutdown mode. “You were all I could think about while I was sitting in that holding cell. That kiss…I repeated it over and over again in my mind.”
His fingers slipped inside the neck of the shirt I was wearing. His shirt. Slowly he inched the fabric away, exposing my shoulder, his lips trailing right behind.
There was nothing outside of this room. No danger. No club. There wasn’t even the concept of time right then. Everything stood still for us in that room, and I wanted all that he had to offer.
“You smell like me,” he breathed against my skin.
“I, um, used your shower and your soap.” Could I be any more awkward?
“I like it. Way too much.”
“I stole your shirt too,” I said as my fingers fisted his hair with one hand. The silky strands felt amazing trapped between my fingers.
“I see that,” he said low and raw as he kissed along my jaw. “Hottest fucking thing I’ve seen you in.”
Then he was taking my lips again. I opened for him and his tongue swiped along mine. Then, in a strange mix of soft and passionate, our tongues danced as our lips molded together.
A whimper escaped me as he pulled away. He rested his forehead against mine and stared deeply into my eyes. Our breaths mingled as I tried to slow down my crazy, racing heart.
“We have to stop now or I won’t be able to,” he said as his body continued to heave with each breath.
“That’s fine. I don’t want you to stop.” I attempted to kiss him again but he halted me with a firm grip as his hands framed my jaw again. A wave of embarrassment overtook my thoughts and my face. I could feel the heat creeping its way up my neck and across my cheeks. I opened my mouth and I felt foolish for it.
“Make no mistake, Cami, I want you. I want all of you. But I won’t take you when I’m covered with dirt and blood and have been sitting on a bench in a room that smells like a drunk homeless man.” I bit my lip and gave him a little nod. “You deserve better than that and I want to give you more than just a fuck fueled by the shaky feelings brought on by the circumstances of tonight.”
Um, well, okay. There was no arguing against that even if I wanted to. It was actually really sweet and I couldn’t stop the smile that toyed with my lips.
He placed light, sweet kisses all over my face as he backed me up toward the bed. Once the back of my legs hit the edge of the mattress, he stopped.
“It’s been a long day. I’m going to go shower and you should try to get some sleep.” He smiled, that sexy, brilliant smile that put his dimples on full display. Those ridiculously sexy dimples. “I will warn you though, I’m going to get in that bed when I’m done and I like to cuddle. Be prepared.”
He left me with his adorably charming threat. I loved how he was able to take the edge off of this whole night. A smile and a few flirty words and I found myself never wanting to leave this room.
The door to the bathroom closed behind him and I tried my best to move my thoughts away from what he was doing in there. The fact that he was going to be naked and wet in the matter of a minute had me nearly panting.
I crawled up the bed and tucked myself beneath the soft, cool sheets. I buried my nose in the pillow and inhaled his scent deeply. Then I couldn’t help but to wonder what side he slept on.
Stupid things like that always made me over think everything. I didn’t know if I should try and figure it out further, the last thing I wanted to do was take his spot. Some people were insane about things as simple as that. I mean, I was all over the place when I slept, so for the most part, it didn’t matter which side I went to sleep on. I would always wake up on the opposite side and sometimes sideways. Yeah, I was a crazy sleeper.
Then I got to thinking about that. I’d never slept in a bed with someone and I couldn’t imagine I’d be a good bed buddy. Would Brand hate it? Would I get on his nerves and keep him from getting the rest that he desperately needed?
See what I meant by my thoughts tended to run wild.
I knew it was completely insane, but I couldn’t help it. I’d always had to question everything my entire life. I had this image I was supposed to fit into and I always wondered if every action I did was within the confines of that box.
When I was in school, I would go over everything I said before it left my mouth to make sure I said it properly. I was afraid to speak out for fear of making my family look bad. When I got older, it became about my looks and who I hung out with. I kept my art friends in the shadows which I realized was pretty crappy. I went to prom with someone my mother set me up with. I wore a dress that didn’t show off anything. It wasn’t even the color I wanted.
So, I had conditioned myself to replay every little thing I did to make sure I didn’t sound or look as weird as I felt on the inside. I over thought things because I had to work hard to hide my true self.
And to be honest, I was tired. It made me a bit of a basket case. Moments like this it really showed through.
I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear the shower cut off. I didn’t hear Brand moving around in the bathroom. And I barely registered the door opening. My head snapped over in that direction as I jumped like a caught mouse.
My mouth was suddenly dry.
Like a desert.
Like I couldn’t even swallow.
Like…Oh, fuck me!
Because Brand came sauntering out, ink black towel slung low around his waist, bare chest still sprinkled with droplets of water, hair slicked back away from his face and dripping.
My eyes couldn’t decide what to look at. They roamed the hard lines of his chest, down to his perfectly circled innie belly button. Then over the dark trail of hair that disappeared beneath the cinched towel.
Then I was moving, my bare legs sliding out from under the sheets as I crawled to the edge of the bed. I had no idea what I was doing, but like a moth drawn to a flame, I couldn’t stop myself.