Chapter Eleven
Brody thought of himself as a grounded fellow. Sure, he liked extreme sports, but he recognized his addiction to the high danger provided and never let it control him. Contrary to what some thought, he never took on anything he didn’t feel he could control.
Until now.
Dealing with Sadie was something that threatened his control. She was obviously a personality accustomed to taking the lead and not being questioned, which he found trying. As someone who’d made his career in the military, and particularly the SEAL’s, he thought of teamwork as essential.
She, apparently, was someone who had been accustomed to working alone and making decisions on a moment to moment basis rather than working a plan. At least that’s the impression he got from her.
It annoyed him. It had taken them far longer than he thought was necessary to get the rugs out of the house, beat the dust out, hose them down and leave them to dry. He’d suggested a plan of action, but she’d have no part of it and insisted on running two lines, or ropes, one for her to work from and the other for him.
Being bigger and therefore more equipped to lug the heavy rugs, he offered a suggestion. Team up.
No, sir. She would do half and he could do the other half.
He’d shrugged and gone along with it, but then gotten annoyed at the fact that it took her longer and she refused help when he offered. By the time they were finished, he didn’t give a hoot in hell about going for a swim, but he’d promised so he changed into shorts.
That’s when the strain she placed on his control was from a whole other source. She didn’t bother to change, she just stripped down to her underwear. Try as he might, he couldn’t stop the affect it had on him. She might be the bitchy Sadie in personality, but in appearance she was Red with curves in all the right places and sweet Jesus, nearly naked.
She left her clothes lying on the grass and walked to the water’s edge before she stopped and looked over her shoulder at him. “Aren’t you coming in?”
“Yeah.” Brodie sat to take off his shoes. By the time he stood, Sadie had waded out and disappeared beneath the surface of the water.
Determined that he wouldn’t be affected by her appearance, he walked to the water, waded in waist deep and then dove. When he surfaced he saw her, standing in the shallows. Her lace bra was practically transparent. Had it not been for her long hair flowing over her shoulders and chest, her breasts would have been completely visible.
He wondered if that would have been as sexy as the sight she presented now, however. A mermaid, teasing a poor mortal. Shit on a stick. This was a mistake. Brody kicked toward the shore and when his feet touched bottom, kept moving.
“Hey, hold up!” Sadie caught up with him and grabbed his arm, but Brody shook her off.
“Don’t be like that.” She splashed water at him. “Come on, Brody. Let’s play.”
The look she gave him explained everything. She was trying to seduce him. That annoyed him. She knew full well that if he did anything with her, it would hurt Trina. And maybe that was her plan. Turn Trina against him.
That wasn’t going to happen. “Leave me alone, Sadie.”
“Aww, what’s the matter? Big bad Brody afraid of little ol’ me?”
He shook his head and would have kept wading for the shore had she not gotten in front of him and placed both hands on his chest. “Come on, Brody. Let’s have a little fun. God knows you won’t have any with Trina, and she doesn’t have to know.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“You sure?”
“Positive. Now either get out of my way, or better yet, let Red out.”
“Not gonna happen,” she mimicked him. “Unless…”
When her left hand drifted down to his groin, he grabbed her wrist. “I said no.”
“Then you can kiss your chances of ever talking to Trina again. I’ll keep her locked up in the dark until we’re all dust.”
“You bitch.”
“That’s it, get mad.” She taunted him, leaning in to press against him.
“Red, you need to fight.” He said, looking directly into her eyes. “You hear me. Fight her, Red.”
Sadie laughed and trying to touch him with her right hand, but he grabbed that wrist as well. “Oh, yeah, get rough with me. I like it rough.”
“Red, you gotta help me.” Brody worked to keep Sadie from touching him and tried to ignore the sexual feelings it roused with her writhing against him.
“Come on Red. Fight,” he pleaded.
Sadie’s smile seemed firmly fixed, triumph clear in her eyes, then suddenly that expression flickered.
“You can do it, Red. Come on.” Brody tried to will Trina to emerge.
“Brody.” The voice that came from her lips was strained and the expression on her face bespoke of struggle. “Drown me.”
“What?”
“Drown me.”
“I can’t.”
“Do it. Now.”
Brody knew without any doubt that he could bring her back, so he did as she requested and shoved her under the water. She kicked and thrashed and struggled until finally her strength and air were gone.
It wasn’t but a couple of seconds before it was over. Brody yanked her out of the water, gathered her in his arms and hauled her to shore. Bringing someone back from drowning was a technique every SEAL learned early in their training.
In less than thirty seconds she was spewing water and gasping. It took a lot longer than that for her to fully catch her breath but when she finally did, she smiled at him.
“Red?”
She nodded and took his hand in both of hers. “She always retreats when she thinks she’s about to die. Sadie is strong, but she’s really afraid.”
“You’d think with what she did, she wouldn’t be.”
“No, quite the opposite. She has a lot to feel guilty about so she’s extra scared.”
“And you don’t so you can take control?”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t scary. I just don’t have all that darkness on my soul that she does.” Her smile vanished just then, and she added. “Or do I? Are her sins mine?”
“No.” He believed what he said. “But back to Sadie. She let me talk to you before, so what’s changed?”
“She wants to get rid of me and Catherine.”
“Pardon?”
“Sadie knows that I want the same, to eliminate her and Catherine and she’ll do everything she can to stop that from happening. She thought if she seduced you, made you fall for her, that you’d forget about me and knowing that you’d fallen for her would hurt me, maybe even enough to make me want to hide. She knows I have issues with rejection because of my father.”
“I couldn’t fall for her, Red.”
“No, why?”
“Because she’s not you.”
“Oh, Brody, you sure know how to woo me, don’t you?”
“Woo? Now that’s an old-fashioned way of saying it.”
Trina smiled. “I got that from my Uncle. When I was little, he’d come to see us a lot when my Dad was gone. He checked up on us to make sure we were okay, and he was so kind to me. Even after Dad left, he kept up with me, despite my mom not wanting him too. Anyway, he’d always say that one day I’d grow up and some handsome and strong man would come along and woo me and win my heart, but I had to make sure he was worthy of such a rare prize.”
“Sounds like a pretty good guy.”
“Uncle Wiley was the best.”
Brody felt the blood drain from his brain. This couldn’t be. “Wiley?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Just an unusual name.”
“I suppose.”
“So, your uncle was always a part of your life?”
“For a long time. Until my mother got married, then—then something happened. I don’t know what. I just know that he stopped coming to see me.”
“I guess that hurt you.”
“Yes.” She looked away.
“That question bothered you, didn’t it? Red, look at me.”
It took a few moments before she did, and he saw the pain in her eyes. “Do you know why he stopped coming to see you?”
She nodded and started fiddling with her hair, gathering a clump of it in her hands and raking her fingers through it. “I think he and my mom had an affair. That’s why my Dad left. He found out and he and Wiley had a big fight and he left. But then Wiley left, too. I mean he left my mom. He came to see me, but he never spent any more time with her. Then when she got married—well, he stopped coming.”
“Do you think it was his choice or hers?”
“Neither. It was Dale’s. Her husband. He didn’t want Wiley to be there and my mom did whatever he wanted. She thought he was really something.”
“What did you think?”
“I can’t talk about that right now.”
“Why?”
“Because it makes me anxious. Really anxious and when I get anxious, Sadie comes out and we don’t want her to come out.”
“No, we don’t. But I think it’s important that you tell someone about your past, Red, so maybe we should invite Etta over. You know she’s a shrink, right?”
“Yes.”
“But she’s a good one, and she honestly wants to help people.”
“I don’t know.” She wrapped her arms around herself and the way she physically drew in made him feel that she was not just insulating herself from a chill in the air, but from everything around her, including him.
“Come on.” He stood and offered his hand. When she placed her hand in his, he pulled her up. “Let’s get back to the house and get you warmed up.”
“That would be nice.”
Brody found it difficult not to try to convince Trina to let him call Etta. He honestly felt that Etta could help, and he also feared what would happen if Sadie took back control. He thought about it on the walk to the house, and while he waited for Trina to shower and dress.
When she walked into the kitchen, he had a pot of tea waiting. While he preferred coffee, hot, black and strong, she liked tea. She poured herself a cup and took a seat beside him at the small table.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“Yes, much, thank you.”
“Red?”
“You must hate having to ask that.”
“Let’s just say it’s an anxious thing—waiting to find out if it’s you or one of the others.”
“I’m sorry, Brody.” She put her hands in her lap and clasped them together. “For so much. I know I’m a burden and I have no clue why you continue to help me.”
“Yes, you do.”
She stared at him for a moment then nodded. “You’re right and I’m not going to insult you with a lie. Sadie has that area of things well in hand.”
“Look, I know talking about all this is difficult, but if I’m going to do a good job of protecting you, I really need to know as much as possible, so could I ask you some questions?”
“Yes, but could we build a fire and sit on the sofa?”
“Sure. Grab your tea and I’ll get the fire started.”
As he worked on the fire, she set her tea cup on the side table and pulled the thick knitted throw from the back of the sofa, wrapped it around herself and then curled up with her feet tucked beneath her.
Once Brody had the fire going, he took a seat on the couch and watched the fire, trying to decide the best way to broach the subject he wanted to discuss. “Thank you, Brody.” Trina said softly, prompting him to look at her.
“You’re welcome.”
“I know there’s something on your mind.”
“Yeah.”
“So tell me. Or ask me. I’ll answer what I can.”
“Okay.” He angled to face her, hooking one leg up on the sofa. “It’s about Sadie. I thought her job was to protect you.”
“It is. Or was.”
“But not anymore?”
“Yes and no.” She looked away and stared at the fire for a few moments, gnawing at her lip, which he’d learned was a sign she was trying to make a decision. “Okay, wait here.” She threw off the blanket, got up and went into the kitchen.
When she returned, she had a book in her hand, one of those cloth covered affairs that he’d imagine girls purchase to use as diaries. Trina reclaimed her seat, tucked the blanket around her legs and looked at Brody.
“This is Catherine’s diary. She writes in it all the time, trying to figure things out.”
“What kind of things?”
“Everything. Catherine is the youngest of all of us even if she doesn’t seem to be. And she has the least memory of all, so a lot of who we are, who she is, doesn’t make sense to her. She writes and draws and trying to coax memories to rise to the surface, but what does float up are only bits and pieces and it’s very frustrating and frightening for her.
“Sometimes Sadie takes Catherine’s diary and writes in it. Later you can read all of it, but for now, you should read what Sadie wrote today.”
She flipped through the pages, found her place and then handed it to him. Brody read what Sadie had written and with every word he read, his concern grew. When he finished, he handed the diary back to Trina.
“Sadie means to kill you. You know that, right?”
“Not kill. Just shove me back so far into the darkness that I can’t interfere.”
“There’s not much difference, honey.”
“Honey?” A smile lit her face, and she raised both hands to cover her mouth. “I’m sorry, it’s—it’s just that I have such a thing for you, Brody and when you say things like that it only makes it worse.”
“Worse is the wrong word, Red. And I have a thing for you, too.”
“I know.” She moved her hands away from her face. “And I like it. But that’s not what you want to talk about.”
“Actually, I kind of do.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I need to ask you something that’s very personal.”
“Okay.”
“Have you ever been with a man?”
Her smile vanished, and a look of fear came on her face. “No. Not—not like you mean. Not willingly.”
“Not willingly?”
“I can’t talk about this.”
“You mean with me, or with anyone?”
“I−I don’t know. It’s… Brody, I just can’t.”
“It’s okay, I’m not going to push, but could you talk with another woman about it? Someone like Etta? And before you get mad, I’m not trying to shove her down your throat, but I know people she’s helped, and I believe she can help you. Don’t you want help, Red?”
“Yes, I do. I’m just scared.”
“I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.”
Trina scooted over closer to Brody and he pulled her onto his lap, enveloping her in his arms. “It’ll be fine, Red. Just give Etta a chance.”
Trina knew that Etta meant her no harm and also that she was trustworthy. The problem was, Trina wasn’t trusting of anyone. Brody was the first exception to that rule and even with him she held back.
For a long time they stayed as they were, him holding her and her huddled in as close as possible to him, searching herself for the answers on what course of action to take.
In a flash, she saw the folly of her reluctance to accept the help Etta offered. Not in the way Brody thought, but in a far more important way. Maybe Etta could help her survive the attack Sadie was sure to launch.
Trina knew that Sadie wanted control. Permanent control. She couldn’t allow that. It was, after all, her life and Sadie was simply a construct of her mind, created to protect herself during a time she was young, vulnerable and scared.
She’s allowed Sadie, and Catherine to be in the foreground for too long. It was way past time to reclaim her life, and she thought maybe that’s why she’d been led to Cotton Creek.
Here was where she’d make her stand.