Oh my God! What am I thinking? How could I even have feelings for someone I don’t even really know? Besides. I’m still married. Well, technically, my marriage has been a sham, but legally, Frank still has a legal bind to me.
I knew I should have waited to go out, like around midnight. But I didn’t know if stores were open twenty four hours like the ones back home. I also wanted to see what this town was like. After Brad told me where we were and where I was staying, I decided to google this place. I was awe struck on how this little town still kept their old town feel to it. It’s definitely a diamond in the rough. What I didn’t know, was that they held a Movie in the Park on Friday nights. If I had known that, I would have most likely left early in the morning to get a few things at the store.
I don’t know how it’s even possible to have something there. When he reached for my hand last week, I could have sworn he felt the same surge I did. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe he has that way with every woman he touches. He looked so happy, taking that woman by the waist and spinning her around. That is the kind of relationship I crave to have one day. Instead, I’m trapped in a nightmare only waiting to wake up from one day.
Life with Frank wasn’t always horrible. When we first met, we had some really amazing times. However, looking back now, I should have been able to see the signs before I agreed to marry him. Like, when we first started dating in college. Well, he had graduated, but I was still attending, Our first party we went to, I woke up the next morning with bruises on my arms from him holding onto me so tightly. I ended up wearing long sleeved shirts in the middle of the hottest summer days. At first, I thought it was because he was so protective of me. I thought he truly loved me, but quickly I was proven wrong. He was protective alright. So protective, he was obsessed with controlling my entire life.
The day we married, it was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. The ceremony was picture perfect. He gave me the wedding of the lifetime. Everything was going great, until an old boyfriend asked me for a dance. That’s when I realized my life was about to change. We ended up spending the week of our honeymoon indoors, because he was ashamed of what he did. I ended up sporting the biggest set of black eyes imaginable on top of the long sleeves.“This will teach you not to look at another man again.” He said between strikes.
He even had me followed a few years after we got married. I was finishing up my last year of college and needed a few things from the library. I ended up running into an old high school friend of mine. We chatted for a few minutes before he gave me a friendly goodbye hug and we both went our separate ways. When I got home, I was given a very unwelcoming greeting. A few kicks to the ribs and gut were to keep me from going anywhere for the remainder of the school year. A week later, unbeknownst to me, we got some shocking news. I had been complaining about stomach pains, so he rushed me to the hospital where we found out that I had miscarried our unborn child due to “stress”. No way could I admit that I had been beaten badly and that was the actual reason for the miscarriage.
At that time, Frank was guilt stricken and for the rest of the school year, he stayed away from laying a finger on me. He swore he would make it up to me and as soon as I was allowed, we would try again for another. At that time, I was determined not to have a child with him. When I went for my follow up, I requested the implant to be inserted, guaranteeing me a few years of not having to worry about bringing a child into the world.
It wasn’t until the death of my parents when I finally realized how dangerous he was. I had threatened to leave him one day, telling him I was moving in with my parents for a while. A few days later, while they were on their way home from a dinner meeting, the brakes on my father’s car all of the sudden weren’t working. He lost control of the car that night. I was left inheriting their entire estate, something Frank wanted to get his hands on from the beginning. What he didn’t know, was that I had already been discussing the situation with my parents, so they had set up most of their funds in a private account that only I was able to get a hold of, which is why I was more than happy to leave everything I so called “inherited” from my parents to him. I want absolutely nothing from that man.
And that’s what he has left me with. Nothing but the clothes on my back and a few healing bruises from when he tried choking me to death. He has shattered every single thing inside me. Any sign of happiness I have held onto is long gone. The only thing I strive for now is life. Every breath I take is a blessing, but the fear of the unknown takes it all away again. Frank is a smart man with the funds to find anyone if he wants to bad enough. And even now, I don’t know if I can count on my safety. Once he finds out I’m gone, he will begin the search for me and he won’t stop until I’m dead. He has taken the meaning “Till Death Do Us Part” to the extreme.
When I make it to the small grocery store, I’m relieved that they are still open. “Hello there.” The older gentleman greets me just as the sliding doors open. I don’t verbally answer, I give a simple smile and nod at him while grabbing a cart before entering the first aisle. When I reach the back of the store, I notice a handful of kids that seem like they are up to no good. One of them, as if on cue, walks up to the man and distracts him while the other three grab a few cases of beer from the cooler. Irritated that this is going to take place, I stand in their way.
“Going somewhere boys?” I ask loudly, grabbing the attention of the older man.
“Shit!” One boy says, dropping the beer and running. The flimsy cardboard breaks open leaving a few cans wobbling while one spurts sudsy liquid all over the place.
“What’s going on here?” The older gentleman steps up, his arms crossed in anger.
The second boy, who didn’t seem too sure about the heist to begin with, shoves the beer in the gut of the ring leader and runs out of the store.
“Looks like these boys were thirsty.” I grab one of the cases from the kid. The man grabs the other.
“So, you’re the one that’s been stealing from me?”
“I…I… Please don’t tell my dad. He’ll kill me.” Tears fill the young man’s eyes and he begins to shake in fear that he’s going to get hurt. Immediately, my heart drops for him. I take a step up forward and he jumps back.
“Shh. It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” I take another step, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure that you can pay off your damages with Mr…” I turn towards the elderly man. “I’m sorry.”
“Mr. Mudrock.”
“I’m sure you can pay off your damages to Mr. Mudrock here. Don’t you?” I repeat, turning my attention back towards the young man.
“Please. If my dad found out…”
“You’re old man Mark’s kid, aren’t you?” The young man nods. “Which one are you?”
“Peter.” He answers with a shaky voice.
“I tell you what, Peter. You come in tomorrow and we will discuss how you’ll pay me back. I don’t want to see your friends in here again, unless their parents are with them. Understood?”
“Thank you, sir.” Peter offers his hand. Mr. Mudrock takes it and they shake. Peter picks up his mess and walks out of the market with shame in his eyes.
“That was a bold move. Thank you…Um, I’m afraid I didn’t get your name.”
“That’s because I didn’t give it. My name is…” I contemplate giving him my real name or making something up. I forgot if Brad had told anyone about me. I remember that Jaxon knows my name. “I’m Lanie.”
“That’s it? Just Lanie?”
“For now.” I reach in my shoulder bag and pull out a twenty-dollar bill. “Please, let me pay for the case that broke.”
“No, no. Keep your money. I’ll make sure Peter pays for it accordingly.” He folds my hand holding the bill with his two hands, gently. I almost forgot there were still some kind people in this world. “Thank you for stopping them. They have been at it for a while now. I owe you one. How can I repay you?”
“Oh, Mr. Mudrock, I only did what was right. I’m glad I was able to keep it from happening again. You can repay the favor by maybe making him work for you, after he’s paid for his damages, of course. I have no doubt he’ll be a hard worker.” I return to my cart and begin to shop for the items I made on the list while he began mopping up the spilt beer.
The following Monday, I’m having a problem trying to open one of my windows. I’ve literally tried everything, but it’s a no go. Knowing that Mr… well damn, I don’t think I even know his last name, but knowing he is downstairs running the mechanic shop, I guess I’ll have to ask him for some help.
Slowly, I make my way down the steps onto the main landing. When I enter the hallway that leads to the garage, I step into a waiting room. Surprisingly, it’s kept up nicely. Not like some of the shop waiting room’s I’ve seen. The sound of the air compressor reminds me why I’m down here in the first place. I walk down the small hall towards the open door leading into an office. When I peek in, Jax is poking on the computer’s keyboard like he’s waiting for something to happen on the screen. His angry mumbles almost cause me to regret coming down here. I slightly knock on the door.
“What?” Jax slams his hands on the desk, startling me so much, I jump. When he finally makes eye contact with me, I turn and shuffle off back to the staircase in a flash. The anger in his eyes alone pushes so many horrible memories to the front of my mind. “Wait!” He calls out to me. He reaches me at the top of the stairs by taking hold of my hand, startling me more making me freeze on the spot. Fear surges through me and I scream.
“Jesus! I’m sorry.” He releases my arm and takes a step down the staircase. “I promise, I won’t hurt you.” His hands rise in that same mode as if he’s trying to talk someone off the ledge. I take a few shaky breaths before getting the courage to speak. I can’t shake the fear of being hurt by someone else.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you while you’re working.” I finally choke out.
“You weren’t. I can’t get the stupid system to work. Ever since the last girl left, I’ve been a wreck. I don’t do computers.” He looks down at his grease stained coveralls and chuckles. “Obviously.” He has a beautiful smile. I never noticed it before. Probably because I’ve locked myself up in my little apartment for a week.
“I… I mean, I can take a look at it and see what the problem is. I have a bachelor’s degree in business.”
“I’m sure that’s not why you came down to see me.” He steps back onto the top landing between his loft and mine.
“No, you’re right. It’s not.” I open the door. “I was actually going to see if you can help me with the window. I can’t seem to get it open.” He follows me in and before I can tell him which one it is, he walks over to the center window in the living room and pushes it up as if it’s perfectly fine.
“I’ll get this one replaced. It’s been a pain in the ass ever since I moved in. I’m sorry, I should have told you.”
“Thank you. It’s okay.”
“Don’t close it completely. Leave it cracked a little. We’re pretty high up and the only escape staircase is out through my window, so you don’t have to worry about intruders.”
“I’ll remember that. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiles again, this time leaving me with goosebumps, making me rub my hands over my arms. He turns to close it. “You can leave it open.”
“You’re cold.” He waves at my arms. Great! He noticed it too. How embarrassing.
“No, no. I just got a chill.”
He looks around the room. “Is uh. Is everything satisfactory?” He actually sounds nervous.
“Are you asking if everything will do?” He blushes, smiles again and looks down. GAH! What’s happening to me? Moment’s ago, he was scaring the shit out of me. I can’t have a man in my life like that again. What the hell? I don’t want, or rather need another man. I still have to get rid of the current one.
Looking at the man in front of me, it doesn’t surprise me that he has someone to take care of him the way he deserves. The look on his face was pure joy on Friday. His tall stature is perfect for someone like me… No! I can’t think of him that way. Especially that smile of his. God, the way he smiles sends shivers through my body. He’s definitely a total opposite from Frank. Frank was an inch shorter than I am. Jax is at least six feet and by the way his muscles flexes under those coveralls he wears, there’s not a doubt in my mind that he works out. He’s definitely a tough boy.
“Yes. Everything is fine, great actually. Thanks again for letting me stay. I can tell there was new furniture left here. Whoever bought it can come and get it if they need to…”
“No problem at all.” He tucks his hands in his pockets of his coveralls. I wonder if he’s hot. It’s quite warm outside and he’s wearing long sleeves. “The furniture stays. I bought it when Brad said you were coming. I assumed you were only bringing the necessities since it seemed urgent.” I can tell he’s concerned, but I’m so thankful he’s not asking me about it either.
“Oh. Well, whatever the cost, I’ll be happy to…”
“No.” He stops me abruptly.
“Thank you.” I reply softly. “You’re computer?”
“Ah, yeah. Can you, I mean, would you mind looking at it?” His eyes are almost pleading.
“I can check it out and see what I can do.” I smile up at him for a split second before realizing I just smiled. It wasn’t a fake smile, it was a genuine, feel good smile that came out of nowhere. He notices my change and clears his throat.
“I, uh. I’ll be downstairs in the office.” He walks out. That was odd. I close my door and follow him down.
“You did all this all of this while I changed the oil for someone?” He sounds shocked. He’s leaning over my shoulder while I’m showing him an easier way to manage his files.
I stifle a giggle and nod. Reaching for the printer, I pull out the statement for the service he just did. “I even got your bill ready for that oil change too.”
“Lanie, I could kiss you right now.” He places his hands on my shoulders and I freeze. Registering my action, he removes his hands and steps around to sit at the other side of the desk. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I try to ignore the gesture all together. I have to realize that not every touch is to cause harm. “Here,” I hand over the paper. “For your customer."
“I’ll be right back.” He stands and leaves. Moments later, he comes back in and sits back down. “Can we talk?”
“You’ve got my attention.”
“Your eyes.”
“My eyes?”
“I could have sworn they were hazel last week. Then Friday, when I saw you in the Square. That was you, wasn’t it?” He did recognize me.
“Um, yes that was me. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I needed to get a few things from the store.”
“They were green.”
“They seem to change colors when my mood changes and if I wear different colored tops.”
“They are almost a bluish-green now.”
“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” I break away from his glare, trying not to let him see me blush.
“Oh, no.” He chuckles softly. “I was wondering. Have you found work yet? Brad said you would be looking for a job soon to keep busy.”
“I was actually going to walk to the supermarket for a local paper.”
“Would you be interested in working here? I would pay you more than what you can find in town. Plus, everything is already organized the way you want it.” He waves to the screen.
“Oh, you’ve already given me enough…”
“Nonsense.”
“Can I ask what happened to the last person?”
“She went to college full time. Both working full time and going to school was too much for her.” I nod. “If you’re asking me if I scared her away, I can assure you I didn’t. I only do that to beautiful women who knock on my door on Monday mornings while I’m trying to get that machine to work.” Oh my! Did he just call me beautiful?
“Well, maybe if you weren’t so mean to the computer and tried to understand it, you wouldn’t be so cranky and scare women…”
“Beautiful women.” He corrects.
“You wouldn’t scare them away in the first place.” I ignore his comment. “These machines are only as smart as the person sitting behind them. If you’re frustrated with it, perhaps a few lessons on using it is what you need. These babies can do wonders if you treat them nicely.”
“Are you willing to give me a few lessons?” He raises a brow in amusement, not getting upset that I called him out on his lack of computer skills.
“Not on Monday’s.” I tease. He drops his head back and barks out a laugh and for the first time in years, I feel joy in my heart.
“No, definitely not on Mondays.” He teases.