“You can’t tell me anything about your little mini vacation?” Jax’s sister, Sofie, asks.
“Sorry, it’s confidential.” Jax winks down at me and opens a beer bottle before sitting beside me.
“You two didn’t get hitched, did you?” She waves her cooking utensil back and forth at us. She happened to call just as we were getting back on the road from our little roadside confessions, but we’ve been at her house for an hour now.
“No.” We both answer in unison. Jax and his sister go on about something Ben has done in the past when my phone rings. I excuse myself and walk to the far end of the back yard before answering it just in time.
“Lanie, its Brad.”
“Is everything okay?” My heart stops instantly.
“Oh no. Yes, yes everything is fine. I’m sorry for startling you. I just wanted to touch base with you. Frank was notified while you were in the air that your sister had a sudden heart attack from the accident and didn’t make it. He’s frantic. He’s insisting on seeing the body. We’ve told him that you’ve given permission to cremate the body immediately, but he’s insisting on seeing the paperwork for that as well. I need to fax the information to you. Are you at the shop?” I turn to look at Jax and notice he’s already on his way towards me.
“Everything okay?” He whispers, placing his hand on my hip.
“No, we’re at Sofie’s.”
“Oh.” He goes silent. “Um, can I speak to Jax while I have you on the line?” I stare at the phone for a second before handing it to Jax. He takes it from me before answering. He looks back at his sister before finishing the call.
“She has an office upstairs, but.” He pauses while looking towards Sofie. “We can’t tell her what’s going on.” He pulls me with him, telling his sister that we needed some private time inside. He closes the door to her office and locks it. Then pulls me against his chest. “ I didn’t lie exactly. I kind of wanted some alone time with you anyway.” He runs his hands up my arms and stops them at the base of my neck. “Hello beautiful.”
“Hello.” I link my fingers in the belt loops of his jeans.
“Are you okay?” His eyes are sincere.
“It will take some getting used to, but yeah. I think I’m okay. Thanks to you.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“You don’t have to.” I lift onto my toes and press my lips against his for a swift kiss. “Just being here with me helps.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Lanie. I was telling the truth earlier. I’ll wait for however long it takes.”
“Thank you.” I whisper. Jax leans down and kisses me softly once again. I know I want to move on with him, but I’m also scared of the outcome. This situation with Frank is far from over and I don’t want to give Jax a false hope. I know that I love him. I’m positive if Frank hadn’t crushed me, I would be able to see a future with Jax. Right now, I can’t see past tomorrow. He pulls away and reaches for his phone.
“Yeah, we’re here.” He calls off the number to Sofie’s fax machine and we wait silently for the document to come through. The more I wait, the more nervous I get. I don’t want to deal with anything else that has to do with Frank, even from this far away. The machine comes to life. “It’s coming through now.” He tells Brad before putting it on speaker phone.
“Lanie.” Jax pulls the paper from the machine while I listen to Brad’s instructions. “On the second page, you need to sign the third line. The first is for the surgeon, and the second is for the coroner.”
“Why does this feel so wrong? Are you sure my sister is okay?”
“Lanie, I promise you she’s fine. She is on a twenty four hour watch.” Tears I didn’t even realize existed, begin to pour down my face. Jax offers his support while I sign my sister’s approval for cremation.
“It’s done.” I turn into Jax’s chest and sob quietly. He comforts me the best way he can.
“I know this must be hard for you. I’m so sorry. I will tell you, he is going to question your whereabouts now knowing you’ve signed the document. He’ll think you’re close by. That should hopefully keep him off of your trail, for a while at least. Again, I’m sorry Lanie.” He says before ending the call. Jax sends the paper back to Brad before folding it and putting it in his back pocket.
“Will you tell me about Frank some day?”
“I really don’t want to talk about him. Ever. I’d actually like to forget him, but I don’t know if that will ever happen.”
“Okay.” He holds me tight. I know eventually I will have to tell him about what happened. What he did to my parents, what he’s done to me. For now, he needs to be satisfied with just being here with me. When there’s a knock on the door, he pulls away and we return to the kitchen. Thankfully he doesn’t push me more about the subject.
When we make it home, he helps me inside with my bag after placing his at his door. I walk into the kitchen to fetch myself a glass of water. While I’m thinking about all that is going on, Jax is making sure the shop is closed up and secure, reassuring me that he will have an alarm for the property in place by the end of work tomorrow. Standing in the living room, staring down at the picture of my sister and me, memories flood my mind of a happier and better time. A time where I wasn’t worried for my life and a time where I could live carefree. A time before Frank.
“Everything is all locked up.” Jax startles me, causing me to drop my glass and break it, spilling water all over the place. “Shit, sorry.” He immediately grabs a towel and begins cleaning up the mess.
“It’s okay.” I bend down and start to pick up the shattered pieces. We’re about done when I pick up the last piece, accidentally piercing my finger. “Ouch.” I drop all the pieces I had picked up already and hold onto my cut hand.
“Let me see.” He takes my hand
“It’s just a small cut. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Lanie, let me see.” He scolds me, forcing my hand in his. When I release my hold on the cut, his face turns white.
“You don’t do blood well?”
“No, I do. It’s just. This is really bad.”
“It’s only a little cut.”
“Lanie, I can see bone. We need to get you to the hospital.” He insists. I don’t believe him until I finally take a good look at the cut. That’s the same time my world goes black….
“What happened?” I feel groggy.
“You passed out. That’s what happened. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“You can’t!” I sit up straight, realizing we’re in his car and on the road.
“You need that looked at, Lanie. It’s seriously deep. Honestly, I don’t understand how you did it.”
“I don’t have the money to pay for it. I can’t use his. All I have is cash”
“I’ll take care of it, Lanie. And if you have that much cash with you, it’s not safe.”
“I don’t even have a last name.” He pulls into a parking spot by the emergency room doors and turns towards me.
“Do you trust me?”
“Do I have a choice?” I clench my throbbing hand under the towel.
“No, I guess you don’t. I want to make sure that you do.”
“I do.”
“Okay then, just stay quiet and let’s go.” He exits the car and comes around my side in no time. When I step out, the towel falls, and I make the stupid mistake of looking at my hand again. “Careful.” He grasps me before I fall to the ground.
“Sorry. I’m okay.” I say, trying to get a grip on myself. “I’m usually not this weak. Most of the time, I can handle it.”
“Good thing I’m not letting you go then, huh?”
We make it into the emergency room and he sits me down before going to the front desk. Shortly after, he comes back with a clipboard.
“Are you going to lie on the application?”
“No. Well, yes. But it won’t be as bad as you think.” He remains focused on filling out the paperwork while insisting that I keep my hand above my heart. Moments later, the main doors swing open and my name is called. Except…
“Melanie Montgomery.” The nurse calls again a second time when I realize she’s calling for me.
“Jax. What did you do?” He tucks the clipboard under his arm and guides me towards the nurse.
“C’mon Mrs. Montgomery.” He leans in and whispers in my ear with a tinge of pride.
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Well, you know, I try.”
We follow the nurse into the room. She says as a protocol, she needs to take some blood and a urine sample. I find that odd being that I’m only here to get my hand looked at. Jax helps me up in the bed and hands the paperwork back. We sit for at least an hour before a doctor comes in.
“Mrs. Montgomery.” The doctor says, reading the chart in front of him.
“Lanie, please.” I insist.
“Lanie.” He looks up at me. He’s a very handsome man, the years have been kind to him. I can automatically feel the tension build at the same time I hear Jax’s silent huff. “My name is Dr. Overby. It says here that you cut your hand?”
“Yes, on a piece of glass.”
“Okay, let’s take a look at it.” He dons a pair of gloves and sits on the edge of the bed. Jax stands beside me and places his hands on my shoulders for support. I try not to look at it, so instead, I turn away and lean into Jax, looking up at him while he watches the doctor. “You did a good job at this. Luckily, it doesn’t look like you tore any nerves, so all it will need is some stitches. I’ll get everything ready and I’ll be back in a few minutes to give you some pain medication. Don’t worry, it will be a local and won’t effect the baby at all.” He turns and leaves.
My. Heart. Just. Stopped!
“What did he just say?” Jax asks. I don’t answer. I don’t have an answer for that. “Lanie?” He tries to get my attention again before shaking me. “Lanie!”
“Huh?” I ask without looking away from the door.
“Are you? Did you know?” I can see his body stiffen out of the corner of my eye. “How could you not tell me?” His voice is hard. “God damn it! I’m so fucking stupid to think…” He fists his hands in balls. His muscles are tense and the veins in his arms are beginning to protrude from his skin. The fire in his eyes are frightening. This is a side I’ve seen all too well. Immediately, I tense up and put myself in a defense mode I never thought I would have to be in again with Jax.
“Jax, I…” I try to tell him I didn’t know, but the doctor walks back in with a syringe full of fluid.
“Alright, let’s get this going so we can stitch you back up, shall we?” He stops dead in his tracks when he sees the look on my face. “Is there something wrong?”
“You could say that.” Jax states with his hands in fists.
“What is it?” The doctor takes his spot again on the bed, removes the cover from the needle and stops to wait for a response.
“She’s pregnant?” Jax asks.
“Well, yes. I thought you knew.” He looks from me to Jax. “Did you not know?” I don’t answer. For some reason my mouth is frozen, so I shake my head in response instead. “Oh, well.” He sounds a little embarrassed. “Then I guess congratulations are in order for you and your husband.” When I watch him bring the needle to my finger, my vision begins to blur before I pass out again….
“Hey.” Jax’s voice fills my mind. Blinking my lids open, I realize I passed out again.
“Sorry. I could have sworn I was stuck in another nightmare.”
“You were, or rather, you are.”
“What?”
“The good news is, he was able to fix your hand while you were out.” I look down at my hand and see that it’s wrapped in gauze. “Bad news, you’re still pregnant.”
“Oh God.” I drop my head back and stare up at the fluorescent light above. Tears stinging my eyes. “No, it can’t be true. I’m protected.”
“Lanie, when did you have the IUD inserted?” The doctor asks.
“How did? How did you know?”
“I called Brad. He pulled your file.”
“If he could pull it up, that means…” I begin shaking, knowing that Frank must have found out about the IUD.
“While I have you here, I’ll call the OB/GYN on call and have him come down and do a measurement on you.” The doctor pats me on the leg and leaves.
“Jax, I didn’t know.”
“I want to kill him.” He grunts under his breath. I can see now why people can be scared of him.
“Please stop. You’re scaring me.” I hide my face in my hands. I can’t bear to look at him like this. “Please.”
“Oh, God no!” Jax says before crawling in the bed with me. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I believe you. It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
“I need to tell you. I have to tell you about…”
“Shhh… You don’t have to say anything right now. It’s ok. We have time.” The door opens up again and the doctor comes in with another gentleman, followed by the nurse and an ultrasound machine.
“We’re going to take a look and see how far along you are. Did you want your husband in here with you?” The doctor asks.
“Yes. I want him here.” I keep up with the lie about Jax being my husband. They work quickly setting up the machine. They place a blanket over my legs so my belly is exposed and ask me to slide my pants down so they can get a different view in case I’m not that far along.
He pushes the jelly around my stomach and hums.
“Is something wrong?”
“I can’t quite see anything.” He says. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to do the transvaginal route.” He switches probes and inserts it moments later. He focuses on the screen again before pointing to it.
“Do you see that little white dot?”
“I do.” I can barely see it from where I am.
“I’m afraid to have to tell you this, but it looks as if you’ve recently lost it. I can’t seem to find a heartbeat.”
A breath I didn’t even realize I was holding in releases from my lungs. Tears stream down my cheek, but they aren’t tears of sadness, they are tears of utter joy.
“I’m sorry.” He says, pulling out the probe. I turn to look at Jax and he’s holding in his emotions. I have put that man on the worst roller coaster of a lifetime in the short amount of time I’ve known him. I really don’t know why he still sticks around, knowing all the baggage I come with.
“It’s okay.” I don’t turn away from Jax’s face. He’s not looking anywhere but down. “That means we can try again, right?” At that moment, something goes off in his head snaping him out of his thoughts and looks at me. Realization of what I’ve said kicks in and his breathing quickens.
“I would like it if you waited a few weeks before trying again. We need to do a D and C to remove the embryo. I would like to do that today, if that’s okay?”
“Is that okay?” I ask Jax. My question for him isn’t if it’s okay to remove the monster’s unborn child inside of me, my question is for him about trying again. His brown eyes shine, he leans in and kisses me softly.
“It’s more than okay.” His voice is soft enough for only me to hear him.