Six Months Later
“Will you calm down already?”
“You know I hate wearing these things.” I tug at the bowtie on my tuxedo. Brad and Zane are sitting in the kitchen just chill as a cucumber.
“It’s not a big deal.” My brother jokes.
“That’s because you don’t have to do anything but walk up with Laura.” He chuckles, downing the rest of his beer and shrugs.
“Would you chill a bit? Lanie will be pissed if you wear a hole in the floor.” I flip Brad off, but stop pacing because he’s right. She would have my balls on a platter.
Laura comes walking in and smiles. I have to admit, she is absolutely stunning. She looks like her sister, but she’s beautiful in her own way.
“Laura, you look breathtaking.” She blushes and looks over to my brother. He’s sitting in the recliner stock still. When he finally gets his wits together, he walks over and pulls her into his arms.
“You’re gorgeous.” He kisses her softly.
“Thank you.” She turns to me. “It’s time.”
“It is?” Brad asks, standing up. Ben comes in from the ladies’ room, trying to fix his tie.
“You ready, Dad?” He asks Brad. It took him a few months, but after they spent some time at my cabin, he came home and asked Brad if he could call him dad. I have to say, that was the first time I think I’ve ever seen Brad cry. When I glance his way, his eyes are glossed over already. He eyes me and clears his throat.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” He calls Ben closer and straightens his tie. “Got the rings?” He asks him. Ben pats his chest pocket. “Alright boys, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” We turn to walk outside. Just as I’m about to step out of the French doors to my backyard, Zane grabs me by the arm.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m incredibly proud of you.” He looks down to hide his emotions. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t around more like I should have been. I will do as much as I can to be around more.” I clap him on the shoulder before pulling him into a hug.
“I love you man.”
“Love you too.” He slaps me on the back. “Now get out there. I’ll see you in a few minutes. Don’t pass out on us.” He teases. I shake my head and stand beside Brad at the end of the aisle.
“Getting nervous yet?” I nudge him with my shoulder. He has beads of sweat building up on his forehead.
“A little.” He lies.
“Is it too late to tell you if you ever hurt my sister again, I’ll kill you?” I warn. He gives me a jaw dropping glare just as the music begins. “Love ya man.” Smiling, I nod towards the rows of chairs surrounding the isle. “Focus man, your bride is coming for you.” I take a step away from him and watch the wedding party walk towards us.
Zane and Laura are first to walk the isle. She’s wearing a flowy dress that stops at her knees. It’s a light aqua color that matches the color of her eyes. When she reaches us, she steps up to me and gives me a hug before returning the same gesture to Brad. Zane takes Brad’s hand and gives him a bro hug before patting me on the shoulder and standing next to me.
The music turns into the traditional wedding march and the French doors open. I can’t look. I know the moment I lay eyes on Lanie, I’m going to be no good.
“Dude.” Zane hits me on the arm. “Look up.” When I do, I’m in awe.
The first person I see is my sister. She’s staring straight into the eyes of the man standing next to me and being ushered by their son, Ben. She has a beautiful white dress on that rests just off her shoulders. It’s snug against her body and flares out at her knees. She looks so happy.
“Not her.” Zane chuckles. “Her.” He points towards Lanie. With her arm draped through my dad’s, she slowly walks alongside him. Her eyes, which are a beautiful green right now, are directed on me. She’s bites her lower lip out of nervousness. When I follow suit, she releases hers. I shoot her a wink and she blushes.
At this point, I have no clue what’s going on around me. All I see is her, the other half of my heart walking my way. She’s getting closer, but it’s not fast enough.
C’mon Dad. Hurry up.
When Lanie and my sister make it to the end of the aisle, Ben and my dad stop.
“Who gives these two women away today?”
Ben clears his throat. “My grandfather and I do.” He says. Before leaning in and giving my sister a kiss. He gives Lanie a kiss and comes to stand next to Zane. My father first gives Lanie a hug and kiss, then gestures for me to come closer. When I do, he chokes up a little before speaking.
“You have brought so many broken pieces back together, Lanie. I want to thank you for that. I’m honored to give you away today. I promise you, I will love and care for you like you are my own daughter.” Dad looks at me and takes my hand, placing it with Lanie’s. He brings her and my hand together, he continues. “I’m also here to give my son away. He saved my life at one time, pulling me out of a dark hole I was falling down. I’ve seen such a change in you since this lovely young lady walked in your life. I love you, Son, and I’m so glad you finally found your soulmate. You two are meant for each other.”
“Thanks Pop.” He kisses me on the forehead before letting me take my bride up the steps.
When he’s finished talking to my sister and her future husband, the officiant begins…
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ ~Eleanor Roosevelt
When Jax asked me to marry him, of course I said yes. When we finally got home, I changed my mind and said no. We argued and argued. I moved into Sofie’s house only to be lifted over his shoulder and carried out to the cabin for a week. We went up to his special spot every day we were there. Most of the time he left me there, a few times we stayed together and talked it out. I explained why I couldn’t marry him. How can someone love me when I didn’t love myself any longer. The scars on my flesh were only part of the problem. It’s the emotional scarring that cut me deeper than any knife could do.
It was Thursday morning and by that time, I knew how to make it to the spot alone. Jax had two kayaks in the water. His was already gone and I knew right away where he was. Of course, the note he left me on his pillow when I woke, up that said You know where I am, helped too.
When I finally made it to the spot, he wasn’t there. Even though I struggled to make it up on my own, I managed to do it successfully. What I did find was a note written by Jax. It was the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. He asked me to read it and to think about what it means to me.
I sat on that rock in silence for a good hour when he finally decided to join me, with food in hand. I could have guessed he would bring food up. We ate breakfast quietly while staring out over nature’s beautiful land. When we were done, we sat Indian style facing each other. Jax took my hands in his and asked me once again if I would marry him. He knew that with that quote and the week alone to release my inner demons would be just what I needed to answer him with a clear mind.
And now here I am, holding on to his father for dear life waiting to walk out and marry the man of my dreams. At first this was supposed to be Sofie’s wedding, but last night, when we went to pick up her dress, she had one picked out for me to try on. It was perfect.
A straight halter chiffon dress that covers the small scar on my neck perfectly, leaving the only limbs on my body that’s not scarred up, exposed. My hair is pulled up into an elegant rolled braid with nothing but a simple tiara resting on top. I’m wearing my mother’s teardrop diamond earrings to remind me that no matter what happens, she will always be here with me. My father had a favorite blue tie that he used to wear everywhere. My mom hated it, but he didn’t care. When he passed, Laura and I fought for it. We spoke about it a few weeks ago and Ben, without us knowing about it, had two identical bracelets made from it. Attached to the bracelet is a silver plate with their names and a quote about always being with us. It’s now adorning my wrist.
We step out and the first thing I see is Jax. He’s looking down, but when Zane hits him in the arm, he finally pops up. First, he sees his sister who is walking alongside us with Ben. His eyes begin to gloss over. The love he has for his sister is adorable. He has been her protector for so long, that I know it’s hard for him to let go. Zane hits him one more time and points to me. I want to giggle, but I know it’s not appropriate. Instead, I take hold of my bottom lip. When his eyes meet mine, a glorious smile forms on his face. I want to run into his arms, but his dad is keeping a steady pace. Jax takes his bottom lip in his teeth to remind me that I’m pressing down on mine. I release it immediately and he winks. Now I giggle. The closer I get, the better view I have of my future husband. He stands tall in a tuxedo. His hands are clasped together in front of him and he’s rocking back and forth on his toes. I don’t even realize we’ve made it to the end until I hear the officiant speak.
Ben gives us away and before I’m given to Jax, his dad gives us both his blessing. I hug and kiss him before thanking him. Turning to the man of my dreams. We step up onto the small stage and face each other.
“Hi.” He whispers. “Hi.” I reply.
Jax turns me in his arms so we can watch his sister and Brad. They recite their vows the traditional way. And when they’re done, instead of kissing, they turn and look at Jax and I.
I turn back around and face my man. Jax decided that he wanted to say his own vows and since I’ve done it the traditional way once before, I couldn’t argue with his wishes.
“There was a time in my life when I had told myself that I would never find the right woman that I’d be willing to give my name to. I vowed to myself that no such woman existed. Then one day, this beautiful person stepped into my life and turned it upside down. What I thought could never happened hit me with a force so strong, it knocked me on my ass.” When the officiant coughs, he continues. “Sorry.”
“Lanie, about six or seven months ago, I asked you to marry me. First you said yes, then you said no. I knew you said no out of fear. Then I took us to our special spot. We went back there every day for a week. After a few days, I knew you were ready to go up alone. When you got there, I left you a note under a rock. Remember that?” He brings his hand up and with his thumb, he wipes a tear from my eye. He turns to his family and friends and says. “It said, ‘You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ It’s a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt.’” He turns back to me. “I asked you to think about what that quote meant before I made it back to you. Shortly after, I asked you again if you’d marry me and what did you say?”
“I said yes.” His eyes glisten with joy.
“You changed me. You say you are weak, but what you don’t see is your strength. You inspire me to be a better man. My world revolves around you. You hold my heart, Lanie. What’s mine is yours. From this day forward, we remain together, as one. We will fight together, we will cry together, and we will love together. I give you this ring as a token of my love for you, to remind you that when you’re sad, all you have to do is look down at this ring and you’ll know you’ll never have to be alone again. I love you.” He slides the ring onto my finger.
“Jaxon. When I first met you, I was a shell of a person. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. I was scared and alone and curious about the person who would open their home up to some stranger in need of help. Only God knows how I managed to be placed under Brad’s care, and I will forever be grateful for that. Because day by day, you put the pieces together, one shattered piece at a time. I know it was hard and it was a struggle to make sure the pieces would fit properly, but you never gave up. Even when I was at my lowest and was ready to give up on life itself, it was your voice and your strength that encouraged me to fight.” Now it’s him that’s tearful. I wipe away his tears the same way he did mine. I can hear the “awe’s” from our loved ones.
“I have searched for the right quote to share with you since I had a feeling you would share the one you did so many months ago. So, this is mine to you, it’s by Lao Tzu. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. You have taught me to have strength because you have loved me deeply when I didn’t love myself. And you have given me courage because you have taught me that it’s okay to love someone deeply. And I do, Jax. I love you so deeply, sometimes it hurts. I want to thank you for never giving up on me, because I honestly can’t imagine my life without you. I want to grow old with you and I want to argue with you so we can make up at the end of the day. I want to be able to look at our children at night and thank God that we were able to make something that is so precious, my heart spills over with love.”
With a shaky hand, I take his ring and slide it over his knuckle. “This ring is my promise to you. I promise to love you unconditionally for the rest of my life. I promise to protect you and stand by your side when you need me the most. I promise you that we will argue, even though I will probably be scared at first. But I also promise to make sure we kiss and make up before bed. I promise to protect our children and fill their lives with love as you’ve filled mine with love.” I raise my finger for him to come closer. When he drops his head to listen carefully I give him one more promise. “I also promise to take care of our little one that will be blessing us a few months from now.” The smile on his face drops. I give him a minute to process. “I love you.” I whisper. He stands straight up and blinks a few times.
“Are you serious right now?” I bite down on my lip before answering him. I’m a little scared of his reaction.
“Yes.”
“Oh, Lanie. I don’t know what to say.”
“Your happiness is all that matters.”
“I would really like to kiss you right now.”
“I think I would like that too.”
The officiant decides this is the right time to announce us as husband and wife. He then proceeds to tell both Brad and Jax that they can kiss their brides. When I expect Jax to take me in his arms and kiss me, he doesn’t. Instead he drops to his knees in front of everyone and places his hands on my hips. His lips press against my still flat belly, letting the world know that we are expecting. “You are a blessing, little one. I promise to take care of you and your mom until I take my last breath.” His glossy brown eyes look up at me and he smiles. “I love you Melanie Montgomery.” He stands and takes my face in is hands. Finally, he kisses me with so much passion it takes us a second to catch our breaths.
“I will always love you, Jaxon. Forever.”