“Earth to Hawk, you in there?”

I pull my eyes away from the three grey message dots in the text thread and raise them to Wesley, my good friend.

“Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?”

He shakes his head and picks up his coffee mug, throwing his legs up on the patio table. “Since you’re going to be in town, I wanted to ask you about being a groomsman.”

“Oh hell, you serious?”

“Of course, man. The only reason I didn’t ask before was I knew you were supposed to be in Australia. When you told me you were sending someone else, I wanted to wait to ask you in person.”

“I’d be honored, Wes. Seriously.” He stands and I move in for a bro hug, clapping him on the back as Tara opens the patio doors and comes out with her own mug in hand.

“Morning, boys.” She walks over to Wes and tries to peck him on the cheek but he slides a hand to the back of her neck and kisses her properly. She rolls her eyes and comes over to me for a hug. “I was trying to be respectful of our company, Wes.”

“It’s not like I didn’t third wheel on more than a few occasions.” I hug her to me and ruffle her short cut lightly before we all sit again.

“So, do I get to pair you with one of my beautiful bridesmaids?”

“You do.” I smile. “Give me one who’s potential bride material, if you can.”

“You on the market?” She narrows her brown eyes, leaning forward. “That’s the last thing you need to tell me, I know some ladies that’d snap you up in a heartbeat.”

“I’m…” I think of Mickey and whatever is or isn’t between her and Liam. And us. “I’m open to seeing what’s out there.”

“That was hesitation. Is it complicated?” Wes asks.

“Is it ever simple?” I look over the garden that I helped plant after they moved in. My mom spent a lot of time in our garden when we were younger, so I know a few things.

She told those flowers everything she wouldn’t tell us.

“Well if I weren’t stuck with this one, you’d be my next choice.” Tara smiles brightly, deep Sienna skin glowing in the early morning sun. “I don’t know another man as good as mine, except for you.”

“That means a lot, Tara. Thank you.” I turn my mug in my hands, shaking my head. “I’m torn between going all in and being cautious. I’m used to seeing what I want and having it. If issues come up, I deal with it. But I think I might’ve bitten off more than I can chew with this one.”

“Ah yes, your tendency to want to fix broken toys.” He snorts.

“Wesley.” Tara scolds.

“It’s fine, we’ve had this conversation before. Wesley thinks my issues with my mother are the reason for me picking up companies doing badly, women, anything that doesn’t come with the pieces assembled perfectly.” I can joke about it because it’s something I’ve already worked through. “And like I keep telling him, most normal people have issues.”

“Can we really blame him when he comes from a family who could write the book on healthy dynamics?” Tara and I clink mugs, while Wes looks on annoyed.

“It’s no wonder you two didn’t end up together since I’m such an outsider.” He pouts, crossing his arms.

“Aw baby, the only thing saving you is Hawk’s family probably wouldn’t want Ludacris playing at the wedding and yours will.” She peers at him over the top of her mug and I can’t contain my laughter because he looks so offended.

“So it’s because I’m black?” He huffs.

“Black love lives, baby.” She winks at me, and I shake my head at her silliness.

“I don’t know what I see in her.” He deadpans, running a hand over his low-cut. “Treacherous fiancees aside, we’re getting the pre-wedding party details down, so clear your schedule. We’re thinking a week at the beach house or our place in Aspen with friends.”

“Sounds good.” Mickey never sent anything, so I guess she decided against whatever she was typing.

That’s never a good sign. I’m 31 years old and I’m watching a woman’s text bubbles.

Pathetic.

“Call her,” Tara says, nudging my knee with her socked foot. “You’re the king of transparency. Don’t stop that now.”

“I will.” I stand, picking up my tennis bag and moving to the doors to the house. “For now though, I want to give her a little space. I’ve been pursuing her so much, I didn’t stop to see if she was pursuing me back.”

“Good luck, man. Women are crazy.” I smile when I hear Wes’s grunt and know Tara must have punched him in the arm. “Crazy amazing, I mean.”

“See you next week, Hawk!” Tara trills and I close the door behind me, giving a short wave.

That’s what I want one day. That type of ease and comfort with someone. It’s early, but I feel like I want that person to be Mickey.

My grandfather used to say that when you know, you know. I’ve heard the sentiment echoed many times over the years.

I’m just not sure if she knows, and it’s not much of a relationship if it’s all in my head and one-sided.

I know she’s attracted to me, but that’s only one component of a healthy relationship. We can have sex all day, but what happens when we can’t anymore? Will we still enjoy being in each other’s company? Will she be able to let down her walls even when she’s not in my arms?

Part of me feels like I might be rushing it, and maybe that’s why the situation is so precarious.

Honestly, I’m not sure how to slow down or even if I want to. It seems like if I slow things down too much, she’ll slip away.

Maybe into someone else’s arms.

Bzzzzzzzz

I unlock my phone and view the text after I’ve put my bag in the backseat.

Can you meet me @ Finley Track? Dress comfortably.