Dinner is buffet style tonight and the place apparently came with chef-service. We’re high in the Alps so there’s still snow on the ground, and it’s beautiful through the large windows. There are light flurries tonight.

But that’s the last thing on my mind, even though I’m doing my best to get to know everyone.

“Did you visit Cinque Terre?” Adanne asks. She’s a really charming Afro-Brazilian woman Tara met when she spent a year in Salvador.

“I did! I stayed in these hostel apartments run by a family.”

“I’ve visited Porto a few times, and a few of the coastal cities. There is such beauty in Italy, it is still one of my favorite places to go.”

“When I wa—,” Liam moves past me, which would be normal if he hadn’t trailed his hand along my lower back as he did it. “I uh, yeah, Porto is amazing.” I get out finally.

They’ve been doing small things like that all night. Everyone sat at the big table and ate dinner, but I was very aware of both of them on either side of me.

Hawk brushed a kiss on my neck when I was just getting ice from the kitchen, and I just about threw the towel in. That was about 20 minutes ago.

I’m only human.

It has been months since I last really had sex, and this is just cruel.

“I am jealous of you.” Adanne says and I turn back to her, dragging my eyes away from where Liam’s talking to Quentin - a groomsman.

“Why?”

“It is hard enough to find one man, and you’ve nabbed two.”

“I don’t really believe it’s real yet.” I murmur, looking down at my glass. “The man I thought I’d be with didn’t want me because I’ve explored my sexuality before, and they’re offering me both of them for more. For…love.”

“Do you want my advice? Take it with…the grain of salt? Is that the phrase you use?”

“Yeah.” I laugh, “You got it right.”

“Good. You Americans have so many ways to say one thing.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So, my advice is…do not let one person define what’s right for you. It’s for you, after all. So what, he didn’t like it. Apparently there are two that do. That’s really all you need to worry about. Ask yourself if you’re happy, and until that answer is no - just be you, cara.” She throws a happy arm around my shoulder, and I hug her back, amused but grateful.

“Thank you, Adanne.”

“You are very welcome, friend. Now, do either of your xodós have brothers?”

“They do,” I smile at her as Tara comes up to us. “But I think you have someone right here that’s interested.”

“Que?” She asks, and Tara and I both give her a look.

“Sis, Christian has been looking at you like you’re a whole meal since we got on that plane.”

We turn discreetly until Christian is within our view. He’s playing twister with a few of the others, and we watch as he falls to the side and lays on the floor laughing.

Tall, chocolate, and handsome - that one.

“He’s a snack.” I murmur and we giggle. “Shouldn’t you be encouraging your wedding party to keep things in their pants so things don’t get messy?”

“But messy is so fun to watch.” Tara widens her eyes innocently. “Everyone’s grown. Hopefully, they act like it.”

“Is that what you thought would happen when you locked Liam and Hawk in the cellar?” I ask, pursing my lips.

“In my defense, I really didn’t peg Hawk as a fighter - and I’ve known him for years.” She says, shaking her head. “Whatever spell you’ve cast over those men is potent.”

“I wish I knew so I could re-cast it when it wears off.”

“I don’t think it’ll wear off anytime soon.” A deep, honeyed voice with the tinge of a drawl comes from behind me and I still, glaring at Tara.

“Thanks for the heads up, Tara.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiles and hooks an arm through Adanne’s, who raises her glass at me as they move away and I turn to face Hawk.

It’s the first time we’ve spoken alone since I left his house that night.

“Can we talk?” He asks, and I nod mutely, following him. We pass Liam on the way to the balcony, and he winks at me.

Unreal.

Hawk closes the sliding doors behind us and then leans next to me on the wooden railing. We look at the lights of other homes in the distance for a bit before he speaks.

“I missed you.”

The words fill me with something heavy and poignant, even though they just talked to me about both wanting me.

“I missed you too.”

“I don’t know what we’re doing. But I’d rather try it and see than spend another moment away from you.”

“You’re such a sweet talker.” I smile, turning my head to him. “I’m one woman, there are plenty more out there. You said even thinking about me with him made you want to scorch the earth.”

“That was when I thought it needed to be only one of us because then I wouldn’t have you at all. Liam…I think we could be friends, and I think you’re good for him. If you have enough love to give to us both, then I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thank you.” I slide a hand up to cup his face and he holds my wrist.

“You can thank me by answering one question.”

“Anything in the world.”

“Have you had sex with Liam yet?” My face must show my hesitation to answer because he laughs. “Whatever your answer is, is fine.”

“No, I wanted to make sure it was real first.”

“Good.”He tugs on a curl that escaped my puff with his other hand and leans close to my ear. “I’ll be gracious and let him fuck you first then.”

I don’t know if I’m going to survive the night.