Racing through the dark forest fast as her legs could go, Allyssa tripped over a tree root and landed on her hands and knees. Someone chuckled, the sound echoing around her. Scrambling to her feet, she started running again. Footsteps pounded not far behind. Up ahead, she saw a sword protruding from a pine tree. She yanked it free and turned to face her pursuer. Soma stood there, blood dripping from his hands and mouth. He smiled.
Allyssa screamed and woke up. Sweat covered her body and her hands shook.
“You all right?” Nathenek asked.
She rolled onto her side. It was still dark out, the stars visible through the pine trees towering above them. “I’m fine.” Her voice sounded weak.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Crickets chirped—the only sound besides her rapid breathing. “No.”
“Every night, you toss and turn in your sleep. Sometimes, you yell. It might help if you talk about it.”
“It’s the middle of the night,” she snapped. Couldn’t he leave her alone? “I already told you I don’t want to talk about it.” Hounding her wasn’t going to help. “Besides, I don’t even know you.” She rolled onto her back. Her dreams would eventually go away. They had to.
“True. However, I feel like I know you because you are Savenek’s twin. Like it or not, I care for you by default.”
What would Allyssa’s brother think of her once he knew what she’d done? What about Rema and Darmik? Would they be revolted and not want anything to do with her?
“Sometimes talking to someone you aren’t close to is easier.” He rolled over, his voice clearer. “But if you’d rather wait to talk to your mother, I understand. Please know that because you are Savenek’s sister, I want to help in any way I can.”
Taking a deep breath, she considered her options. Lay there, unable to sleep, with Soma invading her every thought. Or, try talking about it with a man who would probably keep her darkest secrets safe. It couldn’t get any worse. At this point, she had nothing to lose and everything to gain. “He haunts me. Every time I close my eyes.”
“Who?” he asked carefully.
“Soma, Jana’s son, the assassin I killed.” She’d wanted to hurt him for all he’d done, needed to cause him as much pain as possible. And she’d reveled in his screams. Desired more. How far would she have gone if Odar hadn’t stopped her? The memories made her want to vomit. How could she have lost it like that? Hacking off his fingers?
“Why do you think that is?” he asked.
“You’re the assassin. You tell me.”
“I think you already know.”
“Guilt.” She’d taken another life; now she was paying for it.
“Are you sorry you killed him?” he asked.
“No, I’m not.” If Soma lived, he would have murdered more people. She’d saved lives by taking his. “If it’s not guilt, then what is it?” Did Nathenek experience these feelings every time he killed someone? Was this normal? She didn’t know if she could handle living with it.
“It’s called a conscience.”
“How’s that different from guilt?” she asked, turning to face him. She could only see the outline of his body in the darkness. It helped not being able to see his face while she talked about this.
“If you killed someone and felt nothing, no remorse for taking a life, then that would mean you are heartless.”
Tears filled her eyes. “He was a monster. I hated him. I wanted to kill him.” That was the part that scared her—the desire to take his life.
“To feel, to hurt, is to be human,” he said. “Cherish those feelings.”
Tears slid down her cheeks. The pain, the terror, the memories choking her. “Do you feel?” she whispered.
“There was a point in my life where I stopped feeling. It was the only way to survive. When your mother gave Savenek to me to raise, I began to feel again. I’ve had no greater job in the world than raising him as my son.”
“You really love him? Even though he is not your blood?” Even though he had to have known that one day, Savenek would be taken from him?
“I love him as if he were my own child.” He spoke with a firm conviction, and it warmed her heart.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For taking care of my brother. For loving him like your own. I can’t imagine what he’s thinking or feeling right now. But for me, I’m thankful he wasn’t raised by an uncaring person. Someone not worthy of him.” Savenek had to consider Nathenek his father. Now that he knew the truth, how did he feel? If the roles were reversed and Allyssa was told Rema and Darmik weren’t her parents, she would be devastated. She’d be hurt, betrayed, furious. At least Nathenek had known the truth. He knew this day would come and he wasn’t blindsided like her brother.
“Savenek was upset when your parents came and told him the truth. Unfortunately, we didn’t have any time alone to discuss the matter. He was whisked away that night. I don’t know if he’s furious with me or not.”
Her brother probably understood Nathenek was only following Rema and Darmik’s orders—the empress and emperor. He couldn’t be mad at Nathenek. But with her parents, he did have a right to be hurt and angry. And what about Allyssa? Would Savenek resent her growing up with their parents? It felt strange to realize she was no longer her parents’ only child. She would have to share them.
“Get some sleep,” Nathenek said. “It will get better. All you can do right now is focus on the positive. Choose how to lead your life. The memories will never be gone completely; they will always be there inside of you. But they will fade, and it will be manageable.”
* * *
Lying on their stomachs, Allyssa and Nathenek observed the small border town of Jontis below. Even though they were hidden beneath a bush, she still felt oddly exposed. Men dressed in commoner clothing stood on every corner and outside of every establishment. Their wide shoulders and predatory gazes revealed their ruthlessness, marking them for what they were—Russek soldiers.
“Let’s get out of here,” she whispered in Nathenek’s ear. Being this close to the Russek beasts made her skin tingle.
He shook his head and pointed at his eyes, then back at the town. Not knowing what he was looking for, she put her head on her hands, taking deep breaths while trying to control her fear. She couldn’t let the mere sight of Russek soldiers send her cowering like a child. Allyssa had survived Russek, escaped, and now it was time to make them pay. She breathed in the smell of the moist dirt below her body, strength and determination filling her.
Thick clouds overhead concealed the sun, casting a gray hue to the dreary town. She started watching the soldiers, trying to determine who was in charge and what they were looking for. Probably a young woman matching her description. After a while, a pattern emerged. The men were divided into groups of ten, each patrolling a block. One man checked in with each group every thirty minutes or so. After he spoke to one person from each group, he headed to the northern part of the town and entered a small inn. Whoever oversaw this operation had to be leading it from there.
Nathenek tapped her shoulder and pointed behind them. She nodded and slowly scooted back, taking care not to rustle the bush. Crouching low, they returned to their horses a short distance away.
Once mounted, Nathenek said, “My suspicion is confirmed. Jana set a trap to lure you here.”
Allyssa rubbed her temple, wondering if Jana had set a similar trap for Odar. If so, had he fallen for it? “Do you think Jana is down there?”
“No. She is probably still in Clovek.”
“Where to?” As soon as she asked the question, she knew. “You want to go to the Womek estate in southern Russek, don’t you?”
A sly smile spread across his face. “I was actually going to suggest we send word to Prince Kerdan. But since you’ve mentioned it, I think that’s a superb idea.”
“Do you know the Womek family?” The name was unfamiliar to her. However, when Kerdan had told her how to get in touch with him, she’d been with Neco. He’d recognized the name.
“Yes. Don’t you?” Nathenek asked, steering his horse northward.
She racked her brain, trying to remember everything she’d learned. “The name isn’t one I recognize.”
“Duke Womek’s daughter married someone from Emperion. I thought you knew this?” He glanced over his shoulder at her, his eyebrows pulling together. “Maybe you’re too young to remember.” He slowed his horse so they were now riding side by side. “After your mother became the empress, she sent an envoy to Russek. They met with Duke Womek—the late queen’s brother. He had a daughter of marriageable age. She met and fell in love with a man named Traco. Traco is one of your father’s most trusted and loyal friends who served in his elite squad. Rema approved the marriage; King Drenton did not. The king and duke had a falling out over it.”
Interesting. Allyssa didn’t recall her mother or father ever mentioning it. Obviously Kerdan knew of the situation; otherwise, he wouldn’t have recommended they send messages for him to the duke—who was his uncle. “I find the situation more complicated by the second,” she mused.
“I find Prince Kerdan intriguing.”
Allyssa reached back, pulling up the hood of her cloak. Nathenek’s suspicions whispered in her head, planting seeds of doubt. While she wanted to dismiss his concerns about Kerdan, she couldn’t. There were still too many sides to Kerdan she hadn’t seen. “What’s your opinion on the prince?”
“I don’t have one. Which is strange. Usually I have a feeling one way or the other, but based on what you’ve told me, I can’t get a read on him.”
“How do we plan to lure Jana into a trap? Are we going to the duke’s and sending word to Kerdan?”
“Yes. We’ll figure out the rest of our plan once we’re there. For now, we have to pray we’re not going to be ambushed at the duke’s.” He nudged his horse to a canter, pulling ahead of her. She followed, wondering exactly what Nathenek had in mind. Because one thing was certain, he didn’t do anything without having multiple backup plans in place. So, while he acted like the idea of going to the duke’s had just occurred to him, she knew full well that it had been his intention all along. Now she just needed to figure out why.
* * *
Ever since they entered Russek, Allyssa’s senses had been heightened. Nathenek made sure to keep them off the roads. He seemed to know where they were going. Not once did he consult a map or pause to look at their surroundings. When he steered them onto a narrow road, she felt every hair on her body rise. “What are you doing?” she hissed, afraid Russek soldiers could easily spot them.
“We’ve reached the edge of the Womek estate.”
Huge trees towered on either side of the road. Feelings of unease continued to build. Someone was watching them. She could feel it.
A low rumble sounded in the distance. Nathenek reached out, grabbing her arm. “Do not draw your weapon,” he murmured.
She couldn’t tell how many horses there were, but they were quickly approaching. “You don’t understand. Russeks are barbarians.”
The look he gave her implied he understood their disposition quite well. “If you want to make it out of this alive, then follow my lead.”
She nodded, trusting him enough to listen. For now. Nathenek pulled his horse to a stop and held his hands away from his body. Allyssa followed suit, her horse prancing nervously. A group of six men thundered up the road toward them. If Nathenek was as adept as he implied, he should be able to dispatch them with ease. Taking comfort from this, Allyssa allowed herself to relax.
“We seek an audience with Duke Womek,” Nathenek called out.
One of the men raised his hand, and the group came to a halt about twenty feet away. They wore livery indicating they were sentries. Since they were on Duke Womek’s land, these were probably his men.
“Who are you?” one of the men called.
“I can’t divulge that information out loud on a road bordered by trees. People could be lurking nearby.” Nathenek waved his arm to either side of the road.
Bloody hell. That meant there were people hidden in the trees watching them. If word got out that she was here, Jana would send her entire army after her.
“You don’t look like you’re from around here,” another of the men said. He didn’t speak with a Russek accent but rather, an Emperion one.
A man emerged from the trees on her left. She’d seen him before. “Brookfel?” What was he doing here?
He grinned and stopped next to her. “I was sent to keep an eye out for you.”
Brookfel was a member of Kerdan’s elite squad. Her heart pounded. Was this a trap? Her fingers slid down her leg toward the dagger strapped to her thigh.
“Nice to see you again,” she lied.
He raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at her thigh where her hand rested on the dagger hidden beneath. “Come, let’s get you inside. It’s not safe for you to be out here.” Brookfel took Horse’s reins, leading them down the road. Nathenek said nothing as he followed close behind, the six sentries trailing him.
Brookfel maintained a brisk pace, surprisingly swift for someone so large and bulky. His wide shoulders nearly matched the width of the road. The trees suddenly ended. In the distance stood a sizeable home surrounded by green pastures. Brookfel stopped and whistled. When someone whistled back, he proceeded toward the house. The place had been constructed entirely of stones and appeared to be two stories tall with dozens of windows indicating the owner had quite a bit of wealth.
Stopping before a set of double doors, Brookfel helped Allyssa dismount. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll have someone take the horses around back to the stables. We don’t want anyone to spot them.”
“That’s fine. Please see they are tended to.”
He nodded and barked orders to the sentries.
Peering at the forest about a mile away, she shivered, knowing there were probably dozens of Womek’s sentries watching them right now. Would they be enough to keep her safe? To keep the Russek army away?
“Follow me,” Brookfel said. He glanced at Nathenek. “Why are you here?” he asked in a point-blank manner.
“I am a family friend and protector,” he answered.
Something flashed in Brookfel’s eyes. He pushed the door open and ushered them inside. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark entryway. Brookfel led them into a great hall. A single table filled the middle of the space, couches and chairs at the far end, and an enormous hearth with a low-burning fire in the center of the wall across from the windows.
“Have a seat.” Brookfel pointed at the chairs. “Someone will be along shortly.” He left.
Allyssa sat down, wondering why Brookfel was there and what was going on. A man in his early forties entered. He had dark hair, keen eyes, and was a little on the stocky side. “Are you Duke Womek?” she inquired.
“No, I am his son, Brightek. Welcome.”
She gave a curt nod. Nathenek casually positioned himself behind her chair. “I’m sorry for the intrusion,” she said, not bothering to introduce herself or Nathenek. “I must get a letter to Prince Kerdan. He told me you can be of assistance.”
Brightek nodded. “Yes. I can get a message to him. Will you be needing a place to stay?”
She had no idea what the plan was or what Nathenek intended. Crossing her legs, she sat up straight, years of grooming taking over. “I am not certain yet.”
Brightek stood. “Very well. I will have two rooms made up just in case. The woods can be dangerous.” He held out his hand. “Your letter?”
“I have not written it yet.” She looked around for paper and a quill.
“Wait here,” he said. “I will return in a moment with the necessary supplies.”
Shortly after he left the room, servants entered. They carried trays of food, setting everything on the long table. Her mouth watered at the rich scents and she hoped they would be invited to stay for supper.
Nathenek strolled over to the windows, observing the surrounding land. Cold and tired from their journey, Allyssa went over to the fireplace, warming her hands and trying to think what to write to Kerdan. The door swung open, banging against the wall and startling her. Kerdan, Darmik, and Neco barged into the room.
Allyssa blinked, certain she saw a figment of her imagination.
“It took you long enough,” Kerdan said, stopping before her.
He looked real, sounded real. At a loss for words, she turned her attention to her father, who rushed forward, wrapping his arms around her. He felt real. This wasn’t a dream then. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“We’ll get to that,” he murmured against her hair. “For now, let me hold my baby girl.”