It’s been a week since I’ve been under house arrest. One week with no one for company but Colin, Matthew, and the staff. One week in which Colin has been watching me like a hawk. He hasn’t laid hands on me again, but he has touched the bruises he inflicted, petting them and warning me that I should not make him do that again. The thing that has become clear though is, he likes the bruises. I get the feeling he wants more of them. Looking at him across the table makes my skin crawl.

“You will go back to school today, Beth.”

Joy spreads through me at the announcement. I was beginning to think he wouldn’t ever let me go back.

“Thank you, Col,” I say, hoping I sound suitably remorseful. My time here has been hell. I have this plan slowly percolating in the back of my mind. I think I might try to run away on a bus, if I can make it to the Greyhound station. I’ll just start riding until Georgia is nothing but a bad, bad memory. I won’t miss anyone unless you count Skull. Then again, I can’t have him anyway.

“Gerald will drive you. Do not disappoint me again, Beth. There will be consequences if you do.”

“I understand.”

“I will also expect you back home every weekend. We need to start getting to know each other.”

“We do?”

“We do. You have a future and a place in our family. The biker does not fit into that. Do not forget, or I’ll show you in a way you won’t be able to forget.”

I can’t answer. My voice has fled once again. I just nod in agreement and walk towards the front door. My body stiffens when Gerald’s hand touches my back, and he guides me to the car.

* * *

I never thought I’d be glad to see SPH, but as it comes into my line of sight, I’m nearly jumping for joy. When the limo comes to a stop, I don’t wait. I open the door and jump outside. I don’t turn around when I hear Gerald call my name—I just keep going. I don’t take a breath until I make it behind the locked gate. Even then, I keep going. Friends try to stop and talk to me, but I don’t answer them. I walk past everyone, my mind on only one thing. I walk down the stairs and into the basement. I don’t have my cell because Colin took it, and even though I got it back, I left it in the hall when I first entered the building. I don’t know if he did anything to it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he put some kind of tracker on it.

I go through to the door that Ryan always leaves unlocked for us girls to sneak out of. It’s probably sacrilege, but I offer up a prayer of thanks when the door pushes open. The backyard is more like a thin strip of land; if I lay flat in it, one hand could touch the building and the other could touch the fence. Because it’s so small and fenced off from the front, the nuns apparently don’t think us girls use it. The back fence is nothing like the cold black iron bars of the front. The back is cement blocks and, while definitely tall, they still are only about four and a half feet. Ryan has brought out some more blocks for us to stand on, and once I climb on those, I can jump over the fence.

It’s crazy, and I shouldn’t be tempting fate this soon, but I’m not running away to Bantam. I won’t see Skull again. I don’t want to put his life in danger. No. This time, I’m just having a meltdown. So I go to the one place that makes me feel real.

Gethsemane Gardens Cemetery. It’s a huge local cemetery that you can’t walk by without seeing several tents up of people that have passed on and are being buried. I go here once a week, but not to visit my mom or Edmund. Their plots are on the other end far away from the small grave I visit. I walk by the man-made pond, which has swans swimming in it, then go to the third grave on the left. It’s a seemingly unimportant grave marked only by a small nondescript gravestone, yet it means everything to me.

Katie Benson. Daughter and Sister.

“Bethie? Do you ever wonder if we’ll marry someone like our dad someday?”

“Not me. I’m never going to marry someone like our dad. The guy I marry will be kind and sweet. He’ll have pretty green eyes that sparkle and he will laugh. He’ll like rainbows and ponies and, most of all, he’ll like me. And when he has a little girl, he’ll make sure he hugs her and plays with her. What about you, Katie?”

“I’m not getting married. I’ll use a man for sex and that’s it.”

“Katie!”

“What? That’s what mom says men are only good for.”

“What’s sex?”

“I think it’s where you hug and kiss and watch movies together.”

“Oh. Well, then… I’m just using a man for sex, too!”

“It’s a deal then. Let’s pinky swear…”

I play over the memories in my mind, hearing our voices just like it was yesterday. God, I miss her. Would she be disappointed in the person I am now? We were so close when we were younger. Then our parents divorced. Somehow they got it in their heads that, because we were twins, dad would take one of us and mom would take the other. I still wonder which of us got the better deal. In truth, neither Katie nor I won the parent lottery on either side. The last time I saw my sister, we were ten years old and Roger, my dad, let Katie come visit for a week before he took her to Scotland to visit his relatives there.

“What happened to your sister?”

It’s Skull. I look up, startled to find him standing right there beside me, staring down at Katie’s grave. There’s a hundred questions that form on my lips. I look around to make sure I’m still without Gerald. All I need is for Colin to think I’ve already disobeyed him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Tracking you down,” he answers simply. “You’ve not been at school all week. You didn’t tell me you were in high school.”

His voice sounds accusatory. I’ve already had about all I can handle.

“It didn’t matter,” I tell him, resenting the fact that he’s here and taking my time with my sister and angry because he’s within touching range after a whole week without him—and I can’t touch him.

“It matters very much, querida. Men go to jail for fucking kids. Hell, I feel dirty for even talking to you.”

“I’m not a kid.”

“You’re in fucking high school. You’re a kid.”

“I’ll be twenty in just a little over a month now.”

“I know. It’s the only reason I’m allowing myself to chase you down,” he says, crouching down beside me.

My eyes follow his movements, drinking him in. I’ve missed him. I’m dying to touch him and I can’t.

“How did you know to look here?”

“It turns out, Beth, it’s hard to track a woman down with just her name.”

“Did you ever think that might be a sign that you shouldn’t?”

“I did. Especially after finding out you were in high school. Why are you, anyway? Your records said you took a year and a half off on personal leave. Why?”

“You went through my records? Aren’t those things supposed to be confidential?”

“Unfortunately, I’ve not been able to go through all of them yet,” he says, ignoring her question. “Who knew a damn school would have such great security? But I will, eventually, so you might as well tell me.”

“I was sick,” I tell him, getting up and dusting myself off. I really need to get back to the school. The last thing in the world I need is to be seen with Skull now. Colin would kill him. I don’t have any doubts.

“Sick, how?” Skull asks, standing.

“You know, that’s a personal question I don’t choose to answer. I stopped meeting you. I may be the young one here, but even I know what that means, Skull.”

“What does it mean, querida?”

“That I’ve moved on…? That I don’t want to see you again…?”

I tried to make my voice sound hard. I know I failed. It sounded weak and unsure because it’s not what I want. I should just tell him about Colin and Matthew. If I do that, then he’ll leave me alone. He’ll see why he must leave me alone. I can’t bring myself to do that. I don’t want to shut the door completely. Not yet. I have to work up the courage for that.

His hand goes around my throat. He’s the second guy in a week to do that. Skull’s hold is much different, though. It’s strong but gentle at the same time. His hold makes my heart beat faster, but not in fear. His thumb brushes back and forth on the pulse point there and he holds me so my gaze locks on his and I can’t look away.

“You’re young, querida, so I will explain this to you one time. I will tell you when we are through. I will tell you when it is done, not the other way around.”

“That’s crazy. You can’t just make those decisions about my life.”

“Aw, but that’s what you were doing to me, si?”

“No! I just decided I didn’t want to date you. You’re all wrong for me.”

“I’ve decided I don’t want to date you, either,” Skull says, and I feel like I’ve been sucker punched. All of the air lodges in my chest and I do my best to hide my reaction.

“You don’t?” I ask, confused and feeling like I want to cry. What I should be doing is celebrating, right?

“No, Beth, I don’t. I want to fuck you. And I’m going to.”

His words leave me speechless… and aroused.

“Skull…” I trail off, because I can’t think of what to say. Not one word.

“I’m going to fuck you hard,” he tells me, and my knees threaten to buckle. “I’m going to fuck you slow.” My nipples harden and my body heats as he continues. “I’m going to fuck you so many times and in so many ways, you won’t remember the name of any of the men who came before me. And woman, any that come after will pale in comparison.”

I should run away now, or call him out on being a conceited bastard… but I do neither of those.

“There hasn’t been anyone else,” I whisper mindlessly, hypnotized by the sweet mixture of his words and the look in his dark eyes. When I tell him I’m a virgin, his look changes. I can almost feel an electric current pass between us.

His hand moves up from my throat to my chin. He drags his thumb along the corner of my mouth and then sweeps under my bottom lip and back again. I try to concentrate on the movement because my heart is hammering like crazy and I feel like I might float away, all because I have somehow captured this man’s attention. I’ve made him… happy. That’s what I see in his face right now: happiness.

I’ve been alone most of my life. I’ve had a lot of reasons to be unhappy. So, I’m familiar with that look. And Skull from the coffee shop? Despite his teasing flirting, he had that look. To see the change in this moment and know that I was the cause, for whatever reason, hits me, and it hits me hard.

“Cristo! You are something else,” he finally says, and then he leans into the side of my neck and whispers softly in my ear. “You’ve stopped breathing, Beth.”

He’s right. But, as I feel the soft trace of his breath against my skin, I still can’t make my lungs drag in air. His hand slides to my side and holds it. His touch seems to brand me and heat me from the inside out. My pulse is hammering in my body, the sound of it echoing in my ears.

“My sweet, delectable Beth… I will fuck you gentle the first time. Exciting you until you scream my name and come over my fingers, and then I will feed your hungry body my cock one slow inch at a time.”

“My house mother says making love out of wedlock is a sin,” I tell him, trying to ignore the dampness in my panties. I’m kind of amazed they haven’t melted yet.

“Are you Catholic, Beth?” he whispers again, and his lips touch the side of my neck placing soft, teasing kisses.

“My family is.” I gasp as I feel his teeth pinch the skin, then his tongue brushes away the sting.

“Were you raised by nuns?” he asks, sucking on the skin he’s been toying with. I go to the tips of my toes and lean into him, wanting more. My hands find his thick, muscled arms to cling to.

“What? No. Sister Puterbaugh is a teacher…”

His tongue slides to my ear, tasting my skin and sending pleasure through my system. He sucks the lobe of my ear into his mouth next, using his tongue to tease me further. My eyes close as my head falls back, giving him more access. My fingers bite desperately into his arms now because without that hold, I fear my legs will give out.

“Do you remember everything you are taught in school?”

I try to concentrate on his words, but his other hand has pulled on the fabric of my dress. Cool air hits my thighs and his fingers dance over the rim of my lace panties. Chills explode over my skin.

“What?” I ask again, losing myself in the feel of his fingers against my skin.

They slide under my panties. His fingers dive into my center and the wet heat that has pooled. He doesn’t do anything else. He just keeps his hand there, cupping me. It feels as if he’s claiming that part of me. Branding it as his… with just his solid touch. I never let anyone touch me there before. Right now, I think I might die if he stops. His fingers slide through my lips, separating them and gathering the moisture he finds there. I can feel my cheeks heat up in reaction and I finally release a breath, my nails biting into his skin. The sound is ragged and winded. My heart beats harder against my chest and my entire body feels flushed.

“You’re wet for me, Beth.”

I swallow and bite my lip to keep from moaning. “We shouldn’t do this,” I tell him even when I don’t want him to stop.

“We’re going to do this and much more, Beth. I’m going to teach you how much fun sinning can be, querida…”

“I can’t… I have to be back at school before… before lunch is over…” I moan as one of his fingers pushes into me.

“I’m going to have you for lunch,” he says, and then his lips take over mine.

Before Skull, I’ve kissed a total of two people in my life. When I was nine, Thomas Slone pulled my pigtails on the playground and chased me. When he caught up with me, he shoved me down on the ground and kissed me. The other was before I got sick. I was a sophomore in high school and my roommate had a date with Ted, a boy who went to a reform facility. Our school invited several over for a coed dance. Well, when I say she had a date, I really mean they were going to sneak under the gym bleachers away from the ever-watchful eyes of the sisters. He was experienced. Rose wasn’t. That’s where I came in. She and I were each other’s first real French kiss. It did nothing for me. Rose apparently liked it because she’s had four girlfriends since then.

This kiss from Skull is different than our first. The first was good, but this one is meant to seduce and destroy my defenses. It’s also totally doing the job. I never want him to stop what he is doing to me. Ever.

His tongue pushes into my mouth at the same time his finger slides through my wet depths. He hones in on my swollen clit and I moan into his mouth. My body feels weightless. Skull’s tongue swirls in my mouth, dancing with mine in the same sweet movements with which he’s teasing between my legs. I’ve touched myself a few times, mostly before I got sick, but nothing I ever did made me feel like this.

When he pulls away from me, my lips follow him, still needing his. He ignores my silent plea, instead going back to nibble on my shoulder and neck.

“You kiss much better than Rose,” I whisper inanely.

Skull’s body tenses for a minute and then I can feel his lips curl into a smile against my neck.

“Rose, querida?”

“Rosemarie Crespin. She was my roommate at SPH,” I explain, trying to position my body to get his fingers to move back where I want them. He, unfortunately, ignores that silent plea too.

“Odd,” he whispers, finally bringing his fingers back to my pussy, petting me gently. I clamp down tight over his hand and moan at the friction that vibrates from my clit. My hips buck as I try to ride his hand, needing the orgasm he’s begun inside of me.

“Odd?” I question, trying to keep up with the conversation, but my word ends with a frustrated growl as his hand latches onto my hip and he stops me from moving.

“From any other woman, the idea of you kissing another female would have me hard and demanding I watch. I find my jealousy will not even allow another woman to touch your lips. They are mine now, sweet Beth. Just as the rest of you is. I’ll show you when we get back to my club and then, and only then, will I allow you to come. So stop trying to ride my hand before I have to spank you.”

An image of me bent over with Skull spanking me flashes in my mind and my body betrays me by getting… wetter. I know Skull can feel it slide out onto his hand. His smile widens.

“Perfect, Beth. I believe you might just be perfect,” he groans, taking my mouth again, harder this time, and I can feel a fine tremor run through his body as he pushes against me. “Let’s get out of here so I can fuck you the way you deserve,” he growls, taking his hand away from my pussy and letting my dress fall back down my legs. My heart stutters as I watch him take his fingers in his mouth, tasting me. I’m frozen, so lost in my excitement that I can’t think. Skull pulls on my hand to lead me away and that’s when I begin to come out of the sex-induced haze that he put me in.

What am I doing? What was I thinking? My eyes dart around our surroundings and I’m thankful everything seems to be deserted.

“I can’t, Skull. I have to be back at the school. I’m already in trouble for missing.” Again, I omit who I’m in trouble with. It’s foolish. I need to give Skull a reason to leave and not come back. Colin Donahue would definitely do that and more. Why do I keep skirting around that?

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll bring you back tonight,” Skull says impatiently. I want to agree with him and forget all about my obligations. I want to open myself up to anything and everything he wants to give me, but if I do that, it could mean his death.

“It does, Skull. I have responsibilities here and I need to graduate,” I tell him, only half lying. Right now I don’t give a damn about graduating. But I do care about Skull. I have to get him to leave… I have to.