“There’s no way you can sneak out again today,” says Michelle, one of my friends from school. “The sisters are already upset that you’ve missed classes two days straight. They’re not buying that you’re that sick. Mother Margaret already brought up that you were missing Sunday, too. Three days, Beth! If Tiffany hadn’t been covered up in your bed pretending to be you at curfew check, you’d already be screwed!”

“I know, I know… but I just need one more day. Then, I’ll make an excuse to Skull on why I can’t be there for a few days. Please? I just need your help to make it happen today.”

“I can’t believe you’re dating a guy named Skull,” she says. “When you decide to taste the wild side, you go all out, woman.”

“Yeah, I know. Will you do this for me, Michelle? Please?”

“Okay, but if you get caught, you are on your own. I’m not having nuns up my ass because you’re looking to get dick in yours.”

“That is not happening. You’re just nasty,” I tell her, though the thought of Skull in that moment makes my stomach flutter nervously—and not entirely because I’m turned off.

She laughs and shakes her head. “You’ll see. I’ve heard about those Bikers in Raven. You’re in for a wild freaking ride.”

I bite my tongue to keep from asking what she’s heard. I can’t help myself. I want to know everything about Skull and his friends. The days we’ve met, he’s talked about them, and I can tell he really cares about them. They’re all close. What would it be like to have people care about you like that? Like… a real family?

“I’ve got to run. Ryan’s watching the door so I can sneak out. Thanks, Michelle. I owe you!” I call over my shoulder, intent on making it before my chance is gone. I run down the stairs to the basement. Once there, I use my cellphone as a flashlight and make it to the small door that opens to the backyard on the outside. Once through, I turn around to make sure it’s locked with the key Ryan gave me. I’m unprepared for the large hand that claps down on my shoulder. I scream before I can stop myself. He claps a hand over my mouth, muffling my cry and jerking me around hard. My eyes grow large as I look up into the eyes of Gerald, my stepbrothers’ chauffeur and lead henchman. This is not good. And, from the look on Gerald’s face, it may be much worse than I fear.

He doesn’t talk. His scarred hand wraps around my wrist and he drags me along behind him. We make it to the limo and he all but throws me in the back of it. As the car door slams, disappointment and fear settle in my stomach.

Some people wait their whole lives to ride in a limo. Some people would kill to have the kind of life I could have, but I don’t want it. I never have. I hate everything about being a member of the Donahue family. I might be young and even naïve, but everyone knows who the Donahues are and how they’ve made their fortune. If people find out that I’m a member of the family, reactions invariably go from shock to fear, and for the extremely stupid: interest.

The ride back to the house Colin and Matthew live in feels like it lasts forever. In reality, it’s a mere forty-minute drive. Still, with each minute that passes, my fear amplifies. I don’t know what this is about, but the fact that Gerald was there when I snuck out means bad things.

Shit! I should have been more careful.

When the car comes to a stop, I wait. The Donahue estate is huge. Its large stone pillars and brick façade look cold and regal. It reminds me of a large funeral home—and just as cold. Gerald opens the door and pulls me out. He didn’t need to, I was getting out; I know better than to refuse my stepbrothers. Gerald doesn’t care, but then again, I’ve seen him inflict pain on command. He enjoys it. Even now, his hand is making a horrible bruise on my wrist. I ignore the stinging pain and just follow. There’s not much else I can do.

We make it to Colin’s office and Gerald shoves me into a chair. Part of me is relieved it’s Colin’s office. Between him and Matthew, Colin is the one who’s been the softest with me. I suspect that’s because he wants more from me than he should—especially since I’m his sister by marriage.

“Beth.”

Colin’s dark voice rings loud in the room. I jerk my head to the patio door to my left. I didn’t realize it was open and Colin was there. I swallow because suddenly I’m having trouble finding my voice.

“Col…” I say, using the nickname I gave him when I first came to live with Edmund and my mother. I was foolishly excited to be part of a family and wanted to have big brothers. I soon learned that being a part of the Donahue family wasn’t anything like I envisioned. Colin, however, liked the name I tagged him with. He insists I use it now—just me. He enjoys it. I hate it, but I don’t dare disappoint him. I’ve also seen what happens when people do that.

“Did you really think my protection would be so lapse that I wouldn’t find out what you’ve been up to?”

I take a breath, trying to figure out the best way to respond.

“Don’t bother denying things, Beth. You will only make it worse for yourself. Gerald has been following you to the café the last few days. I know you have been meeting that biker.”

My stomach churns at both the discovery that Colin knows and at the way he says the word “biker”. You can hear the disgust in his voice, as if Skull is so far beneath him. In Colin’s eyes, he probably is. He makes me sick with his holier-than-thou attitude. Does he think I don’t know what the family does to secure their place and fortune? I don’t know anything about the biker world, but I know that Skull is heads and shoulders above Colin in being a real man. I’ve seen it in the way he treats me and in the way he talks about his club and the men he considers his brothers. Colin and Matthew have never cared for anyone but themselves.

“He’s just a friend,” I tell him, deciding to go with the truth.

“Do not lie to me, Beth.”

“I’m not.”

“Do you always kiss your friends like you are dying for them to fuck you?”

I flinch in reaction to his question. Colin doesn’t talk to me like that. In fact, I can’t ever remember him using coarse words at all around me. The fact that they are laced in anger scares me. The very last thing I need is to have Colin displeased with me. Most people never survive that.

“It was just a kiss, Colin. I’m almost twenty now,” I tell him, doing my best to sound defensive and not scared or guilty. I’m not sure I achieve my goal.

He grabs my hair, wrapping it around his fist and pulling it tight. Tears sting my eyes and he forces my face up to look at him.

“Have you given him your body, Beth?”

My heart pounds against my chest. Cold, clammy beads of sweat pop out of my skin. I feel the tears leak down the side of my fear-stricken face.

“No… of course not.”

“Has anyone got in this body, Beth?” He asks, his voice so cold it amplifies my fear. Before, I only suspected Colin thought of me in a way that was not sisterly. Now, I see ownership in his eyes. I see… jealousy.

“No, Colin. No. I was just curious. All the girls talk about kissing, and I wanted to… see what it was like. It wasn’t even that good. I think, maybe…”

His hold on me loosens, but the venom is there in his eyes and I know, like a snake, it wouldn’t take much for him to strike. I find my fear isn’t anything to do with me. No… I’m scared of what Colin might do to Skull now.

“Think what?” he asks, his eyes moving down my body. My stomach churns in revolt.

“I… didn’t see what they’re all so curious about. I… didn’t enjoy it,” I lie. “I think maybe I’m cold.”

“Cold?” Colin asks, and there’s something in his eyes I can’t describe. I’m lying through my teeth here, but I need something to discourage him, something to diffuse his anger. I’m scared for me, sure. But more importantly, I’m scared of what he might do if he gets Skull in his sights. I can’t let that happen. Skull doesn’t even know about my family. I haven’t wanted to tell him.

“Sister Puterbaugh says that some women are saved from earthly desires… that God has a higher purpose for them.”

Colin lets go of my hair and steps back. His eyes never leave mine and I do my best not to show fear while trying to inject sincerity in my lies. Maybe if Colin thinks I want to be a nun, then he will leave me alone. Maybe…

“Dear Beth, no one with a body like yours is made to be a nun.”

“If your faith—”

Before I can form a complete sentence, he pulls me from the chair and pushes me against his desk, his hand tight around my throat. I can’t get air. My fingers claw into his and panic threatens to engulf me. There will be more bruises there—if I live. I’m beginning to wonder if I will.

“You do not give your body to anyone, Beth. Not even your lips. Do I make myself clear?”

I can’t agree or disagree; the tight grip he has on my throat doesn’t allow it. Black spots are swimming in front of my eyes and I think I might pass out. Whether it’s from fear or lack of oxygen, I can’t say.

“I’ve been gentle with you because of your illness. Apparently too gentle. You are mine, Beth. No one will touch you except me. No one will stick his goddamn tongue in your mouth but me, and no one will get inside of your body except me. Do I make myself clear?”

His words make disgust boil inside of me. My eyes close, finally the panic and lack of oxygen combining to put me out of my misery. His hold on me loosens and I gasp for air, coughing and sputtering as my lungs try to take it in all at once. My legs are too weak to support myself and I sink to the floor.

“You will stay here the remainder of the week until I see that you have learned your lesson. Gerald, take her to her room.”

I hate having Gerald carry me. I want to argue, but I can’t, my whole body shaking at this point.

“Beth?”

Gerald stops and spins us around, my head lolling back, but I do my best to hold it up and look at the monster in front of me. We stand like that for a couple of minutes until finally I try to respond. “Yes?” I ask, my voice hoarse and raw. It sounds like I’ve screamed until I’ve lost a vocal cord.

Colin’s smile makes me shiver. “You will be dressed and down for dinner at six. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes,” I tell him, managing to hold my tears in until Gerald deposits me on the bed and leaves me alone in my room.

I cry until I can’t anymore. Exhausted, I fall asleep on the bed. My last thoughts are of Skull and what he must have thought when I didn’t show at the coffee shop… or when I never show again.