On the ride down to Lake Oswego, Melissa enjoys the rush of being on the bike again and the feel of Hawk’s strong body against hers. He’d only taken four minutes to shower and change into a snug-fitting t-shirt and perfectly-fitting jeans and her mouth watered at the sight of him. He’d asked where she wanted to go and she’d given him free reign. So he told her he was going to take her to one of his favorite places and Melissa had allowed herself a little internal fist pump that he would want to take her somewhere that’s special to him.
He parks the bike and leads her over towards a park bench overlooking the water. It’s quiet and tranquil despite it being a Saturday. It’s still too cold for most of the Portlanders to be out in the park. Besides the odd jogger or dog walker they’re alone. The thought occurs to Melissa that no one knows where she is and Hawk has deliberately brought her to a semi-deserted place. If he turns out to be a bad guy then she’s screwed. But she can’t bring herself to feel any fear or trepidation about being alone out there with him. She feels like she can trust him, which might make him even more dangerous than she could have imagined.
They sit in companionable silence for a few minutes until Melissa starts to shiver and wishes she hadn’t left her coat in her car back at the body shop.
“You’re cold. We should get inside.” Hawk moves as if to get up and she puts her hand on his arm stopping him.
“No, I like it here. It’s peaceful. It feels like we’re so far away from the city.” She wraps her arms around herself to stop from shivering.
Hawk shrugs out of his leather jacket. “At least put this on.” He doesn’t really give her a choice, draping it around her shoulders.
“You’re going to freeze.” She looks at him in his long-sleeved t-shirt and wonders how icicles haven’t formed on his face yet.
“I’m good. The heating in my house was always off when I was growing up. We never had any money to pay the bill. You get used to the cold. I don’t feel all that much anymore.” He shrugs as if it was no big deal and Melissa feels her heart thump against her chest at the idea of Hawk as a little boy desperately trying to get warm.
“That’s horrible. I’m sorry.” She reaches out and squeezes his hand. It’s an automatic response from Melissa. She’s always been a tactile person, but she’s unprepared for the current that passes through her when she touches him.
Hawk looks down at her hand, intertwining it with his and, from the expression on his face, Melissa can tell she’s not the only one who feels the sexual tension between them.
“It’s not your fault.” He says the words softly, his gaze holding hers and Melissa knows immediately that she is on rocky ground.
She licks her lips and notices his gaze move down to her mouth. He looks at her hungrily and he must see the answering want in her eyes. He reaches up to cup her face and pulls her towards him, his mouth hot and soft. He teases her lips apart and tastes her, eliciting a low moan from her throat.
A cool wind blows up and bring Melissa back to reality. She pulls away from him slightly, breathing hard and feeling like her heart is beating far too fast. She looks up at him feeling dazed, like she’s been knocked off balance. It was just a kiss, but what a helluva kiss. She wanted more. Hawk smiles as he watches the uncertainty in her eyes change to need and he strokes his thumbs along the curves of her cheeks, pulling her towards him again, kissing her long and hard. Her hands go into his hair, her nails grazing his scalp, making him groan, the sound warming her through. By the time they pull apart, desperate for air, she’s almost in his lap.
They lock eyes again and the intensity of his gaze makes her shiver, in anticipation rather than from the cold. “Come here, get warm.” He wraps his arms around her waist and leans her back against him, so they’re both facing out to the lake. The feel of his strong hard body against hers makes it difficult to think about anything else, but something has been bugging her and she has to get it out.
“Can I ask you something?” She bites her lip, already knowing she shouldn’t be asking the question, that one kiss doesn’t give her any right to delve into Hawk’s old relationships.
“No, I don’t usually bring girls here.” He says the words patiently and she chuckles lightly.
“Good to know, but that wasn’t what I was going to ask.” She pauses, gathering her confidence. “What’s the deal between you and Felicia? You said you guys were just friends but there seems to be more to that story.”
She waits for Hawk to tell her that it’s none of her business. He sighs heavily as if it’s something that he’s not all that fond of talking about. “We dated for a while when I was just out of high school. Felicia was a couple of years ahead of me and had the whole older woman thing going for her. Pretty soon we realized we were better off as friends. She’s had a few tough breaks. She dances in one of the seedier clubs in the city to make ends meet. I look out for her; she looks out for me. That’s the end of the story.” Melissa feels him shrug against her and she doesn’t push him for any more answers. He’s given her an honest response to her question, which was more than she probably deserved. “Your turn. What skeletons are hanging out in your closet?”
Melissa can hear the smile in his voice as he asks the question and his sincerity makes her feel like even more of a heel for not being able to give him a proper answer. For a moment she thinks about telling Hawk that she’s a reporter. But she brushes off the thought, knowing that even though she’s attracted to him, she still has a job to do.
“Well, what do you want to know? I’ve dated a few guys, no-one serious until college.” Melissa feels Hawk’s arms tighten around her and she likes that she’s evoking the cave-man response in him. “I thought I was in love, turns out not so much. He became a little possessive, jealous, basically he turned into a grade A douchebag.” She feels Hawk’s chuckle reverberate through her. “When I broke it off he didn’t get the memo. He kept on calling me, turning up at places where he knew I’d be. It got a little…”
“Creepy?” Hawk helpfully supplies the word through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, I guess so. Ali called him a stalker, said I should report him to the police. But that seemed a little far. He wasn’t dangerous, just a little confused.” Melissa swallows hard, not knowing why she’s telling Hawk more than anyone apart from Ali knew, only knowing that she wanted to. “One night he came by, tried to come in the house, he’d had a little to drink and things got out of hand. He got physical.”
She feels Hawk stiffen against her. “He hit you?” The anger in his voice is palpable.
“No, he was after something a little more intimate than that…” She feels herself blush and bites her lip, wishing that she hadn’t gone down this road with a guy she barely even knows.
Hawk takes her shoulders and turns her around to face him. She sees the anger blazing in his eyes. “He forced you?”
Melissa shakes her head quickly and watches as the tension in his body eases ever so slightly. “No. Things didn’t get anywhere near that far. I got him in a choke-hold and threw him out.” She shrugs like it was no big deal. That night she had been completely shook up. When Ali had gotten home she’d told her all about it, too shocked to even cry.
“Jesus Christ.” He pulls her towards him, holding her in his arms and she feels like she’s melting against him. When he seems satisfied that she’s all still in one piece, he pulls back to look at her again. “Did you tell the police?”
Melissa shakes her head again. “He was drunk. He didn’t know what he was doing. I think he was so far gone he thought we were still together. The next morning he didn’t remember any of it. It was like it hadn’t happened. When I told him what he did he couldn’t believe it. He begged for forgiveness. He was more upset about it than I was.” Melissa smiles sadly as she remembers that conversation. “He still sends me flowers and chocolates. It’s like he can’t let go. He’s creepy but he’s not a bad guy. He would never hurt me.”
Hawk frowns at her as if she’s completely insane. Ali had given her the same look when she’d told her she wasn’t filing charges against him. But Melissa could never do that. No matter how disappointed she was in him, she couldn’t destroy his life over something he didn’t even remember had happened.
“If he ever tries anything again, he’ll wish he hadn’t.” Hawk’s eyes blaze with pent-up anger and, from the look on his face, Melissa doesn’t doubt that he would make good on that threat. He pulls her towards him again, kissing her deeply, possessively, protectively.
When she comes up for air she smiles at him goofily. “I like it when you do that.”
“Good, because I plan to do a whole lot more of it.” His teasing smile makes her heart thud in her chest.
She schools her features, more serious now. “So it’s clear you have some pretty strong feelings about protecting women. What’s that all about?” He frowns as if she’s hit a nerve and she quickly back-pedals, not wanting to cause him any pain. “Sorry that was out of line. You don’t have to tell me.” She starts to pull away from him but he stops her.
“No, you told me something that I’m guessing not a lot of people know. I’m just returning the favor.” He shrugs and looks out onto the lake. Melissa gets the impression that he’s gone somewhere else. “My dad – he was kind of a disciplinarian. He liked to scare us, liked to use his fists. I watched him hit my mom every day until I got old enough to hit him back. Eventually he left, cleaned out our bank accounts – what little was in there – took the car, the TV, pretty much anything of value that he could get his hands on. Never saw him again.” He shrugs again, as if to say ‘that’s all’ and there’s a steel glint in his eyes that almost seems to challenge her to pity him.
Pity, however, is the farthest thing from her mind. “Sounds like good riddance to bad rubbish to me.” She takes his hand and squeezes it, wishing she could take a pop at the man that had terrorized Hawk as a child. “Are you and your mom still close?”
“We try to be. But it’s complicated.” He throws her a forced smile. “I guess you wouldn’t know much about that, though.”
Melissa straightens her spine and raises an eyebrow at him, giving him a challenging look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, just that you seem to be the white picket fence, two point four kids, model home kind of girl.” The look he gives her tells her that he’s only half joking.
She feels a flicker of indignation that Hawk thinks he has her all worked out. “Well, for starters the house I grew up in didn’t have a white picket fence.” She ticks the points off on her fingers as Hawk watches amusement lighting up his gorgeous face. “Secondly, I’m an only child. Thirdly, my definition of a model home doesn’t equal your dad walking out on your mom when she was pregnant with you, and never seeing him again. My mom worked hard, did her best, gave me everything she could. I was fortunate but that doesn’t make me a princess with a perfect little life with no problems.” By the time she’s finished her tirade she’s aware that her voice has risen, but she’s too angry to care. “So don’t make assumptions and judge me when you don’t know anything about me.”
Hawk blinks at her, surprised. “I didn’t mean to judge you. I’m just usually pretty good at reading people, but I guess I was wrong.” He ducks his head in apology and Melissa feels her anger melt away. “But I don’t think it’s fair for you to say that I don’t know anything about you. I think I know quite a lot about you.”
“Oh really?” The anger in her voice has been replaced by flirtation and Hawk seems to register the change in her demeanor. “So what is it that you think you know?”
He shifts a little closer to her. “Well I know you’re really cute when you get angry.” She rolls her eyes at him but allows herself an inward smile. “I know you have a good heart and you try to see the best in people. I know you’re smart and funny and that you’ve got some killer moves.” He pauses, looking at her more seriously now. “I know you have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen. I know I like you. And I know you like me, too.”
Melissa feels herself redden and, automatically, she goes to correct him. “And what makes you so sure about that?”
He gives her a knowing look. “Apart from the way you blushed just then?” He gives her a lopsided smile. “Just a lucky guess, I suppose.”
“Yeah right.” She punches him playfully on the arm but he catches her wrist and pulls her towards him again, kissing her thoroughly.
“Am I wrong?” He pulls back to look at her, his eyes dark.
Melissa shakes her head, not even trying to pretend that she feels any other way.
“Good. Now that’s settled. You should come tonight, to the bar, meet some of the guys.” He pulls her against him again, settling her against his broad chest.
“The guys?” She feels her heart thump loudly in her chest at the reminder of how she came to be in Hawk’s arms at all.
“The guys from the MC, the club I mentioned last night.” His voice is filled with warmth as he talks about them. “I want you to meet them.”
“Is that what Felicia was talking about earlier in the shop? About you having to concentrate on getting into the club?” Melissa is playing dumb but it’s the best way to get Hawk to open up.
“Yeah, she knows it’s kind of been an obsession of mine since we were kids. I’m a prospect now so I still have to prove myself to the club, but it shouldn’t be long until I’m a fully patched member of the Kings.” The pride in his voice is easy to hear.
“The Kings?” She pretends complete ignorance.
“Caged Kings, it’s the name of the club,” he explains.
“It doesn’t sound all that friendly. But I guess you can’t really name a motorcycle club Rainbows and Kittens!” She’s grateful that Hawk laughs at her lame joke.
“Don’t worry about the guys. Their bark is way worse than their bite…most of the time. Anyway, they’ll love you. How could they not? I want you to meet them.” The excitement in his voice at the prospect makes Melissa feel like even more of a big fat liar, if that were possible.
“They’re important to you.” It’s a statement of fact rather than a question.
“It’s a brotherhood.” Melissa feels Hawk shrug behind her. “They’re my family; that’s just how it works.”
Melissa feels her gut clench as she asks the question that she knows she has to, still playing the naïve card. “But…aren’t motorcycle clubs kind of dangerous? Like not totally above board?” She holds her breath for his reaction.
“It’s not as black and white as that. There are a lot of shades of grey.” She feels him shrug again. “It’s not something we really talk about outside of the club.”
Melissa responds without thinking, saying what is in her heart rather than what is in her head. “It’s all right. You can trust me.”
She feels Hawk’s arms tighten around her. “That’s not an easy thing for me to do.” There’s a tightness in his voice that wasn’t there before.
“Then we can take things one step at a time.” She relaxes into his arms, feeling warm and safe and protected and like the biggest liar of all time.