Two days later; Laura is still not awake. Things are growing tense in the house. Jack is starting to miss his Mom. The longer Laura is comatose, the less Megan can control her emotions. And I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

It’s four p.m. on Sunday, and I’m trying to organize something to eat. “What do you want, Meg? I’ve got mushroom pizza, a frozen spaghetti, or I can make pancakes.”

Megan scowls. “I hate mushrooms, Mom doesn’t let us eat TV dinners, and who the hell eats pancakes for dinner?”

I put down the frozen boxes in my hands, and let out a long breath. “Megan, I’ve barely cooked in about a decade. I’m doing my best here. What do you say? Pancakes?”

She shakes her head. “I’m going to Justin’s for dinner. At least Tess knows how to use a stove.”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time at Justin’s. Sure you don’t want to spend a night with your Uncle Tom? We can put on some bad movies, pig out on junk food. It could be fun.”

She looks at me with disgust. “My mom has been in a coma for three days, and you want to have fun and ‘pig out’? You know she’s getting fed through a tube, right? Actually, she’s breathing through a tube, too. She’s hardly alive, and you’re not taking it seriously at all.”

I look down at the kitchen counter and give a defeated shrug. “I’m just trying to keep us distracted, Megan. I know how serious things are, but your mom wouldn’t want you to break down.”

“You wouldn’t know what Mom would want. You don’t even know my mom.”

Another burn. They hurt a little more each time. But, I need to take a leaf out of Laura’s book and be the adult. I can’t lose my cool.

“Your mom and I used to hang out all the time when we were about your age. It’s only in recent years that we haven’t seen so much of each other. I care about your mom a lot, you know. It’s more difficult than you know to walk away from the business.”

She rolls her eyes. “You could’ve walked away any time you wanted to. You’re the boss.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“You don’t care about her. Admit it.”

“I will not. Come on, Megan. I know you’re upset about your mom, but these personal attacks are getting old. I love your mom, and I love you and Jack. Why else would I be here?”

“To hit on Aunt Zoe.”

I fix her with an unimpressed stare. “Really, Megan?”

“I know you two are hooking up.”

“Your Aunt Zoe knows the way things are done around here. She’s been a huge help.”

“She should be here more. You don’t have a clue. I’d rather have the usual sitter than you. At least she knows the most basic details about my life.”

“I’ll give you a ride to Justin’s.”

“I can walk.”

“Your Mom doesn’t want you to walk alone at this time of year.”

“Then I’ll get Justin to pick me up.”

“That’s fine. Home by ten, please.”

“I’ll try.”

I could argue with her more, but I decide against it. Justin arrives ten minutes later, and she takes off with him. She says I’m useless, and I feel it.

You’re better off in New York, Tom. You never seem to fuck it up there.

* * *

An hour later, Zoe arrives. It’s almost six o’clock. She’s brought takeout with her. Pizza.

“Thank God,” I say. “We’re starving over here. These kids are fussy eaters.”

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. “You think so? They usually gobble up everything in sight. What did you try?”

“Frozen pizza, a TV dinner, spaghetti, or the offer of pancakes.”

“What kind of pizza was it?”

“Mushroom.”

“Uh-huh. Well, Megan doesn’t eat mushrooms. Laura’s against TV dinners, and who has pancakes for dinner?”

I raise my hands in frustration. “Jesus Christ. You’re all nuts. Where’s this rulebook you’re all keeping from me? I’m trying my fucking best.” I knock my fist on the counter.

Zoe frowns. “I hope you’re not showing a temper like that around the kids.”

“No. I haven’t said a word. Not even when Megan’s telling me how useless I am, and saying I don’t care about her mother.”

“She said that?”

“I guess she has a point. I left Maine because I was constantly fucking up, and the second I’m back, I’m fucking up again.”

“Language, Tom.”

“Jack’s upstairs watching a DVD.”

“Disney?”

I offer a weary smile. “Yes.”

“I told you so.”

I lift up my hands. “You know way more than me when it comes to these kids. I don’t deny it. I wish they’d realize I’m trying, though. Megan hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you. She’s struggling. Jack doesn’t remember his dad. He was just a baby when Mike died, but Megan remembers. It affected her a lot. In her eyes, it’s happening all over again.”

“Laura’s doing well.”

“A fifteen-year-old can’t keep that kind of fear under control. She’s scared. I know she’s taking it out on you, but you have to be patient. She doesn’t mean it.”

“Yes, she does. The same way you meant it when you called me out for not being here, and the same way Laura meant it when she said the same thing.” I shake my head. “When I stay away from a crisis, I’m the world’s worst, and when I step up, I’m still the devil. I can’t win.”

Zoe stands beside me and lays her hand over my fist. I relax my hand and entwine my fingers in hers. I’m calmer when we are holding hands. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Tom. I’ll talk to her. Kids can be hard work.”

“Why would anyone want it?”

Zoe laughs lightly. “You take the bad with the good.”

“This is karma at work. I didn’t come back for four years, so now the universe is throwing all it’s got at me.”

“Enough with the self-pity, Tom! I know you’re finding this hard, but none of this situation is about you. Try to put yourself in Megan’s shoes, and realize that the insults, as personal as they seem, aren’t about you. Laura having an accident isn’t the universe teaching you a lesson. None of this is about you. You might cope better if you stop putting yourself at the center of everything.”

“You’re not the first person to call me arrogant since I got here.”

“Then maybe you should listen.”

I close my hand more tightly around Zoe’s, catching her gaze and holding it intently. “I really am trying, Zoe.”

“I know.”

She’s standing really close to me now. I turn my head, and my lips brush against hers. She takes in a sharp breath of surprise but doesn’t pull away. I lean in again, kiss her once more.

For a moment, she reciprocates, pressing her lips down against mine. Then she pulls back, placing a palm on my chest to keep me at arm’s length. She turns away. “We can’t do this, Tom.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not the right time. We have to put the kids first.”

“We are.”

“And what if we fall out again? The kids have enough on their plate without being in the middle of two adults fighting. No, Tom. We have to think of them.”

I step away and turn to the pizza box that Zoe has brought with her. “I’ll get some plates.”

Zoe starts bringing the pizza to the table. I watch her, my heart sinking and full of longing. She’s perfect. Even when she calls me out on my bullshit.

She’s kind, selfless, and entirely in control. And totally out of reach.