Chapter Nineteen

I watch her head down the steps and I exhale. I have her. I love her. I meant what I said— I’ll tell her a million times if that’s what it takes. I can’t lie; it makes me feel like shit that the thought of me leaving ever crosses her mind. I know it isn’t anything I’ve done and deep down she doesn’t doubt me— us. It’s her past and that isn’t something that will disappear. I knew it went I pursued her, I knew it when I knew the depths of her scars and I knew she was worth it.

Her abandonment issues and insecurities aren’t a weakness and they aren’t a burden but I wish I had the magic cure to erase them. Our love has won time and time again—and will continue to do so but I hate seeing the pain in her eyes. And her tears— heat engulfs me thinking of them. I hate for her to cry and when I can’t eradicate the reason— it pisses me off.

I hurry and make up the spare room for Caden and Avery and run the bath for Kinsley. That girl— Julie was easy. She was the temperament I needed as a single parent starting college— like she had a sixth sense. I mean, she’s come into her own with sass and attitude but Kinsley— she’s a fucking handful. And the apple of my eye. Julie will forever be my little girl and I can’t believe in a year she’ll be in school. Where does the time go?

I go to collect my little tyrant and laugh at the scene. Julie is coloring in silence next to Saylor at the table. Saylor and Caden have a beer and are talking softly while watching Avery and Kinsley on the floor of the kitchen— finger painting in the sauce. Doesn’t matter Avery is covered in sauce, or that it shouldn’t be encouraged to my daughter, it is just happening. Saylor has a smile, Caden is staring with a look of contentment I know all too well and Avery is giggling and showing different types of techniques to a two-year-old who is more interested in covering Avery’s curls in red ‘paint.’

Saylor catches my eye and winks. “It’s a moment.” She brings it full circle. It’s what she’s taken to saying when one of the girls does something batshit crazy that we want to lose our cool. It’s a moment translates to treasure it. It isn’t the end of the world and in a year or two these times will be gone.

“It’s a moment.” I concur and grab a beer while I continue to watch. I can rerun the bath water if needed. This is more important. I clink my bottle with Caden and he nods. I lift Julie up and place her back on my lap once I sit and she goes back to coloring, never missing a beat. It’s a hell of a moment.

Breck and Lee Lee show up after the kids are in bed so we grab the laptop and Skype Mason. He wanted us all together to reveal the gender of the baby and it was easier this way. Saylor is rambling to Emberlee, I don’t know if it’s for approval or what, regarding all the things she’s done for the shower and what still needs to be completed.

“Take a breath. It sounds amazing and I don’t doubt you for a second.” Lee Lee pats her arm.

“But this is your specialty.” Saylor argues.

“And you can do it with your eyes closed. This is your forte— making things perfect for friends.” Lee Lee assures her. In this moment, I see the growth in Emberlee. She made amends years ago and still has her moments of assholism, but that’s her defense she lived with for so long. Somehow, she knew what my wife needed and gave it to her.

The call connects and Breck shrieks. “Asshole.” We stare at Mason as he’s puffing his cheeks and holding his ears. What the fuck? Brecklynn slaps Avery, and it wasn’t a friendly tap. “I hate you.” She groans as her cheeks redden.

“What the hell?” Saylor asks.

“No. Not until I can drink.” Brecklynn shakes her head. Avery has tears from laughter and Caden is snickering.

“Oh, fuck no. We’ll hear about it.” Emberlee taunts.

“Shut up. All of you. Do you want to know what we’re having?” Brecklynn is changing the subject.

“We know it isn’t full human with Mason as a father.” My wife quips and he lets go of his ears to flip her off.

“Drumroll.” Mason declares. We wait. And wait. And wait. “Oh shit, that’s me. I have it cued- give me a second.” He hits a button and a fucking drumroll starts.

“A boy.” Brecklynn steals his thunder and he looks crushed. I’m sure it was payback for whatever reenactment he was doing and I can’t help but laugh. We all hit the jackpot with finding our equals.

“We’re naming him Nolan Cason.” Mason won’t be thwarted. I nod to Mason and Caden smiles— that middle name. I’m waiting for the girls to figure its meaning. Brecklynn hugs both of us and winks.

“Congrats, guys.” The chorus of everyone echoes in the room. I find Saylor’s eyes and wink. I wonder when she’ll be ready for another one.

“Caden has something to say.” Avery throws him into the fire. I can tell by his quirked eyebrow he wasn’t ready.

He takes a long swallow of his beer and says to no one in particular. “I decided what I’m gonna specialize in.” A dramatic pause. “Orthopedics. Because of you. Seeing how hard you fought was eye opening but you had great doctors. I want to continue being a part of making dreams come true.” Brecklynn bursts into tears— I know it’s hormones— and Mason, for once, is fucking speechless.

The girls get into the wine, much to Breck’s grumblings so Caden and I head to the deck with our beers. “You good?” He questions.

“Yeah.” I drain the bottle reaching for another.

“What was the problem when we got here?” He’s straight to the point.

“Demons.” I pause. “We’re good but her upbringing.” He nods, understanding as we all had a front row seat. “And lots of changes. I need something from you.” I level him with a glare.

“Whatever.” That’s him— solid.

“I’m gonna talk to Mason and Brody, it’ll be harder with kids, but make Avery come home every few months. It’s rough on Saylor here alone. My work hours aren’t always flexible and she needs her friends.” I’ll give my wife whatever she needs. I’ll fix whatever troubles her.

“Done.” He nods and I know it to be fact. He’ll make it happen. I fill him in regarding the plans I have for the yard and we agree to tackle one project tomorrow while the girls are doing their shower shit.

We go in to say bye to Brecklynn and Emberlee but walk into a fucking clusterfuck. “You better not tell them.” Breck is standing with her hands fisted against her hips, agitated as hell.

“We’re all friends. Spill.” Saylor shoves Avery and Breck takes a seat, knowing this is happening. I listen as Avery retells her adventures of guiding Brecklynn through anal— and I stare at Caden.

“She’s fucking twisted.” He nods.

God, I love my friends.

I crawl in bed after checking the kids one last time and she turns into my arms. “Hey.” She smiles against my chest.

“Hey. Did you have fun?” I push a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah. I miss them.” She sighs. “Our life is full and I know I’m blessed, but having my girls here makes things seem less important. Stupid things like money.” Her eyes look to mine. “I think I’m gonna cut back at work.”

“Good.” I cup her cheek. “Whatever you need.”

“You. Your love.”

“It’s yours. Forever, Shortstop.” She turns to face me and grins. “What?”

“I have a confession.” She plays with my chest.

“I’m listening.”

“With less hours, I’ll have time to hone this pole dancing thing I’ve been practicing. Kinsley and the wedding— that’s my fault.” She tries to hide her laughter.

“Really?” My dick hardens against her stomach and thank fuck I sleep naked because it makes it easy access for her hand to circle my cock. And stroke.

“Yeah. You mad?” She has my dick in her hand, she’s gonna channel an inner stripper— and she asks if I’m mad.

“Nah, Shortstop. You’re every guys dream. Lucky for me, you’re mine.” I pull the covers down and nearly come right then. She’s wearing my old jersey and I growl.

“Want me up on my knees so you can see your name, Douglas?” Her tone is gravely and I swallow.

“Yep.” She rises to her knees and makes a production of leaning over, propping her weight on her elbows. I waste no time ripping her panties off and burying my face in her pussy. “Fuck.” She shouts. I thrust a finger inside her and work her with my hand and tongue until she’s coming on my face.

“Warm up over, Say. Time for me to round home.” I slam deep inside her and feel the aftershocks of her orgasm convulse around my dick. “Damn.”

“Pound me, DD.” She tosses over her shoulder. I grip her hair and thrust hard and long, filling her deep. “Yes.” She urges.

Over and over.

Smacking her ass and playing with her clit has her milking my dick as I fill her full of me. “Love you, Say.” I gasp.

She lifts a hand, unable to talk.

“It’s a moment.” I remind her. I pull her over me hating I have to dislodge from her and she buries her face in my neck. Feeling her weight on top of me, her love surround me— we sleep sound.