I felt myself falling for Drex, and it scared the ever-living fuck out of me. I should have walked away from him when I could. I knew there was no way to do that now. After this morning, the deal was sealed. With Drex, things I never found sensual before now had me practically begging for sex. Exhibit one: I basically gave him a lap dance. Many people had fixed my hair before, for prom or what have you, but I’d never been turned on by it. That was when I knew any time spent with Drex was dangerous. There wasn’t a future I could foresee for us. I never planned to have anyone in my life, but now the Wolfs had taken it in full force.

I wasn’t entirely certain we were really going horseback riding. It could have been the innuendo for this morning, but I really hoped it wasn’t. Regardless, Drex picked me up in his truck and we were going somewhere.

“Are we going to see Myra?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear the answer. My voice broke when I said her name, and my lips fell into a thin line. I didn’t want Drex to think I was jealous…even if I might be.

“Yes, she needs me.” He beamed and his smile gleamed out from his newly trimmed facial hair. I wasn’t sure when he found the time to trim it when he went home. I barely had time to change clothes and freak out a little.

“Oh,” I said. The disappointment was clear in my tone. I looked away from him and out the window, counting the red fence posts as we passed them.

“Relax.”

His hand squeezed my thigh and lingered there before he shifted the gear. I wished he hadn’t noticed how tense I was. Maybe I wasn’t as good at hiding my emotions as I thought I was. First, Sam could read me, and now Drex.

“I’m cool,” I lied, remembering I was on number twelve of the post counting, and continued where I had stopped. It wasn’t my choice to let him in; it just kind of happened. I couldn’t even stand to be around him all the time, but I knew I wanted to.

“About as cool as the Sahara.” He laughed. “Or balls.” He wailed with laughter and swerved, laughing at himself.

My mouth dropped open with shock, and honestly, disgust. I watched him try to compose himself, but he didn’t seem capable. “Woo.” He blew out a breath of air and smacked the steering wheel.

“Seriously, Drex?” I said as I shook my head, and a small giggle bubbled out of my mouth. “Balls. You compared me to balls.” Our laughter filled the truck, and it was wonderful. For us, moments such as these were rare. Two lost souls were incapable of happiness. I was certain of this. When we both laughed, I did my best to etch each second into my memory, never knowing if it’d be our last.

We passed a sign that read, “Iron Maidens,” which had a silhouette of two horses kneeling down on opposing sides of a shield pictured on it. It was then—I was one hundred percent certain—we were going horseback riding. I was comforted to know Drex wasn’t calling sex horseback riding earlier. Although, thinking of riding a horse brought on an entirely different wave of anxiety. Horses are beautiful, but their size had always intimidated me. Spending time on a farm wasn’t a real possibility when I grew up, and then once I was pregnant, I didn’t want to. Sure, I’d been to petting zoos and local fairs, but I usually only attended those so Jaxson and Noah could see everything. Animals had never really been my thing, which really wasn’t something I let many people know. It was as if people believed if you didn’t love animals you were a psychopath, which might be a bit of an overstatement. Yet, people’s reaction was similar. Once, I’d mentioned to another mother that I wasn’t a dog or cat person. She said she didn’t care for cats. In response, she rushed her kids away from Noah and me, like we’d plague their bodies with our poisonous ways, using the excuse they needed to get home and brush their teeth. Really? I wanted to explain it to Noah, but how did you explain stupidity to your child? Noah loved animals, thankfully. Otherwise, I think having the name Noah would have been an oxymoron.

“Myra.” Drex put the truck into park and calmly acknowledged a spotted horse approaching the nearby fence line. I breathed a sigh of relief as we met her at the fence. I was glad she was a horse and not someone Drex was seeing, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him.

She was bigger than most horses I’d seen, but then again I’d never really been close to any. Her stomach appeared fuller than the other horses in different parts of the surrounding fenced in areas. I didn’t understand why she was in a fence by herself, when the others were together, free to socialize and play with others.

“She’s an Appaloosa. See how her neck is more of a solid color, and her back and butt are spotted?” He turned to me, reaching out to rub the space between her nose and expressive eyes. She leaned into his touch, but kept her eyes on me. Her tail switched left and right as flies flew around it swaying at her will.

“Yeah,” I simply answered in awe. She was the definition of beauty, and seeing him with her made my heart pound against my ribcage with amazement. Now I knew what’d made him so handsomely unkempt. Well, sort of. It had something to do with this ranch, I assumed. Perhaps he was some type of farmhand.

He reached for my hand and placed it onto her face, keeping his hand over mine. As she breathed, I counted the warm air blowing against my forearm.

“Stay calm,” he murmured, but I wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or me.

“Myra, meet Eris.”

She whinnied and my fingertips quivered beneath his, but I didn’t jump. I’d heard of people spooking horses, and I didn’t want to do that. I forced my breathing to even out and planted my feet firmly to the ground, remembering to bend my knees slightly, so I wouldn’t lose consciousness. The blood drained from my face, and the sun blazed down on my skin to the point I swore it was hotter today than it had been any other day in my life. Anxiety creeped into my veins and delegated my pulse’s rhythm.

“She’s nine months pregnant,” he chimed in a sense of adoration I’d never heard from him. I forced myself to breathe, and knowing she was expecting calmed my nerves some.

“Wow,” was all I could muster, her eyes never leaving mine.

Drex gave Myra’s face a light scratch and then pulled our hands away from her. She snorted in protest or because that was just what horses do. I had no clue.

“When mares are pregnant, it’s common for them to become moodier than usual,” he explained to me and led us into the barn.

A tall, clean-shaven man approached us, and he smirked. The glasses perched on the end of his nose almost went up to their correct spot on the bridge of his nose as his cheeks rose with a wide smile.

“Dr—” barely had a chance to leave his mouth when Drex interrupted him.

“We all know my name is Drex, Henry,” he dryly said in a bored tone, reminding me that he could be an asshole. “Eris, Henry. Henry, Eris,” he introduced us, waving his hand between the two of us.

“Nice to meet you,” we said in unison, both probably trying to keep Drex’s mood from going further south than it already had.

“Henry, could you help her get some riding gear while I check out Myra?” Drex asked. It didn’t sound much like a question, but more of a statement.

“Could I help you?” I used the same tone he had with Henry, remembering this was how we normally behaved. I wasn’t trying to be an ass, but I came off as one and I knew it as soon as the words left my mouth.

“You could.” He paused and leaned against the doorframe, crossing one foot over the other. “But, honestly, I didn’t think you’d want to. You seemed a little frightened by her, and she’s a little unpredictable right now.” His voice was calm and caring as he tried to explain he was only trying to keep me safe.

“He’s right. I had to send his sister out to hunt him down because he wouldn’t return any calls. Myra won’t let me do much of anything, but she’s always liked him better anyway.” Henry backed up Drex’s story, both making me feel like an even bigger asshole.

“I’m sorry I’m a shit.” I huffed in an attempt to backpedal a little. I needed to say it, if not for Drex’s sake, for Henry’s. Both Drex and I had our fair share of bad moments, but I didn’t want Henry to think I was always like this.

“It’s okay. We’re all shits down here,” Henry said in a loud whisper and they both laughed. My curious eyes darted between both of their faces.

“It’s an It reference,” Drex explained, but it meant nothing to me. I shrugged my shoulders in response.

“She’s friends with Lexie,” Drex told Henry, pointing his thumb in my direction.

“Ah. Makes sense,” he replied and walked a few steps away from where we all stood.

“You coming?” he called to me over his shoulder as he stood in place, waiting on me to join him.

I nodded my head and chewed on the corner of my lip, wondering why being friends with Lexie aka Courtney would even be an answer to my confusion. The words the men exchanged didn’t seem to give away a lot, but their body language said a lot. Both had a very relaxed stance, one you would have around a friend. Was it possible Drex had friends? Of course, he did. I was positive most people, other than myself, surrounded themselves with many people. Even the most foul of a person usually had at least one person who was as rude and negative as they were.

Henry took me through a breezeway that connected the barn and a nearby building. He held the door open for me, and the cold air-conditioned air kissed my skin. Momentarily, I closed my eyes and stood just inside the door, soaking in the artificial air.

“Lovely, isn’t it?” he all but moaned and mirrored my actions, curling his fingers on the door handle and securing it.

“Mhm.”

“Let’s get you some clothes. Your T-shirt should be fine. I’ll get your gloves, hat, pants, and boots.” He took off across the floor and disappeared into a doorway to the right.

“I didn’t give you my sizes.” I cocked my head to the side and followed where he had gone, puzzled by his flighty actions. Henry wasn’t visible in the room full of riding attire. My fingertips ran along the jackets hanging and admired how soft they felt beneath my skin.

As I rounded the rack, he popped out from the end of two aisles over from me. “These should fit.” He gleamed, shoving the clothes, hat, and boots into my arms when he was within arm’s length.

“How?”

“Did I know your sizes?” he finished my question after I’d checked the size of every item he’d given me. “I love clothes. If being a veterinarian hadn’t come so easily to me, I would have designed clothes. I make some of my own things.” He waved his hand down his flannel shirt and tight-fitting pants.

“Huh,” I simply said, not really sure what to say. I’d met plenty of doctors here and there, and even a few veterinarians when Jaxson adopted a family of mice…a cat…and a dog. None of them looked or even behaved like Henry, but then again it seemed no one from this area was really like the people I knew from back home.

Henry showed me where to change and informed me I could leave my clothes on the bench in the locker room. “No one here today should bother them,” he said. Although, the only people I saw here were Drex, Henry, and I.

When I found my way back into the barn, Henry was gone, and I found Drex instead. Instantly, my mouth went dry. He wore a white long-sleeved shirt with a crisp collar and top buttons he’d left open, exposing his muscular chest. The black ink across his chest stared back at me, and I questioned the words I’d never given much thought to before now. “Conatus Sum.” The tips of blue waves crashed against the words, crying out the hidden meaning.

My eyes traveled the length of his torso and then to the tight black pants he wore. They hugged his strong calves and left nothing to the imagination, which actually surprised me. I always assumed men wore cups when they rode a horse. The look was complete with matte finished black shoes with a small heel. I licked my lips, trying to wet them, desperate for a drink of water or anything really.

Drex cleared his throat and my eyes darted to his face, which held humor behind squinted eyes. He smirked and scratched his jawline through his beard. He nodded toward the open barn doors and waited for me to reach him before he took a step. Perhaps life was about finding someone who took steps at your pace, not just their own.