Sitting down to dinner at our little table I become obsessively focused on dishing food out for Easton, Ward, and myself. I’ve been quiet, but I don’t think that Ward’s noticed. He’s been playing with Easton and he was nice enough to pack up the living room for me, in preparation for the move. There isn’t much in my house to pack up at all, but it was still a nice gesture.

“This looks great, babe,” he murmurs as he tugs his plate a little closer toward him.

I didn’t make anything special, just meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. “Thanks,” I smile.

We sit in silence for a few seconds, and then he drops a bomb on me. Ward explains how there’s an important run he has to go on, and he could be gone up to three weeks. I blink, unsure that I heard him correctly. I want to ask him where he’s going, and why he has to be gone for so long, but I know that it’s not my place.

“It’s not dangerous really, just some inventory shit. I have to go down to Idaho for a while, then come back up,” he shrugs, taking another big bite of his dinner.

I bite the corner of my lip. “When do you leave?”

He clears his throat, looking down before his dark blue gaze raises and he looks into my eyes. “Monday,” he practically whispers.

“Monday, like this Monday?” I ask as my mouth stays slightly open in surprise.

He leans back in his chair and continues to look at me, his expression is one of disinterest, but I know he was scared to tell me, he’s just throwing his guard up now.

“Yeah. Monday. You’ll be all moved in and you said yourself, Ginger is taking you to get whatever shit you need to set up house at least for a while. When I get back we can get whatever else you want,” he shrugs.

I want to throw a fit. Monday. How can he think that us moving into a strange and new house on Saturday, and him leaving on Monday for three weeks would be okay, I’ll never know. However, it’s not my place to complain. Pressing my lips together I inhale a breath through my nose, then let it out.

“You’re pissed,” he states.

I shake my head. “I’m not mad, just surprised,” I lie.

I’m so pissed, but not just about this disappearing act for three weeks, I’m pissed about everything. Him being gone for so long just means he’ll be screwing more women. I know when he goes to Idaho he’ll be staying at another Devils’ clubhouse, then wherever he goes after that will more than likely be a clubhouse.

My stomach twists and turns at the idea of him sleeping around like that. I wish I could make him stay, or never touch another woman, but I can’t. I know what my role is as an Old Lady and telling him who he can and cannot fuck is not my place. I’ve seen men turn down freely offered pussy, but I’m not naïve enough to think that Ward is one of those men, especially after what I overheard earlier today.

Ward finishes shoveling food in his mouth before he reaches over and wraps his strong fingers around my wrist, giving me a gentle squeeze. “It’ll fly by, babe. Then, I’ll be home and we can finish getting the house set up. I shouldn’t have to leave again after this for a while.”

I nod, giving him a fake smile, not wishing to dig too much more into this conversation. I actually just want to go to bed. I want this day to just be over and done with. I don’t finish my dinner, my appetite completely lost. Grabbing plates and silverware, I take it to the kitchen as Ward offers to get Easton cleaned up.

Once Easton and the kitchen are all cleaned up, I go into the living room and sit on the floor where Easton is building a tower with his giant Legos.

“It’s only a couple weeks, baby. Swear to fuck, you won’t even realize I’ve been gone so long,” Ward grins from his place on the couch.

I look up at him and give him a sad smile, which I’m sure looks pathetic because I honestly just feel like crying and I hate myself for it. “We’ll be okay,” I shrug.

Ward shakes his head. “Something is up with you, talk to me,” he gently demands.

I press my lips together, then roll them a few times, trying to decide what I’m going to say to him. There’s a thin line of the appropriate way to approach this subject of other women with him.

Initially, I was going to completely ignore it, in hopes that I would just get over it, or at least be able to pretend it didn’t bother me. However, with each passing moment, I want to scream and cry and beg him not to touch anybody else. There’s no ignoring this feeling inside of me.

“I’m going to put Easton to bed. We’ll talk and stuff after,” I offer.

Ward’s eyes narrow slightly, then he shakes his head. I pick Easton up and I expect him to stay in his same place on the couch, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stands to his feet and follows behind me. I pull out one of Easton’s favorite stories then sit down next to his bed after I’ve placed him inside and given him his favorite blanket.

Opening the book, I begin to read. I can feel Ward’s eyes on me, but my focus is on Easton and telling him all about Mickey and Donald’s latest adventure. It doesn’t take me long to read the short bedtime story and by the time I’m finished, Easton’s eyelids are droopy, and his face is completely relaxed. Leaning over, I brush my lips across his cheek as I stand up.

“I lub you, Mama,” he sighs as his eyes completely close.

Running my finger across his plump cheek, I mumble that I love him too. Ward and I walk out of his room and quietly close the door behind us.

“To our room,” Ward growls.

I want to roll my eyes at him, but I don’t. I walk straight toward my room, and sit down on the edge of the bed, immediately slipping off my shoes. Ward doesn’t speak right away, and neither do I. Honestly, I don’t really know what to say, that’s a lie, I know what I want to say, but I can’t.

“You need to tell me what’s happened between this morning and tonight,” he barks.

Twisting my head to the side, I look over at him. He’s standing just inside of the doorway, his hands on his hips and his jaw clenched with anger.

I let out a sigh and shake my head. “Nothing happened,” I lie, again.

He snorts. “Bull-fucking-shit. I knew something was up with you the second I walked into the bar. I know when you’re happy, Hayden and I know when you’re pissed, or when you’re stressed but whatever you have rolling around inside of your head right now, I don’t know what it is. You’re going to have to tell me what the fuck is going on inside that pretty head of yours, baby.”

“You marked me,” I rasp. He nods, his eyes widening slightly, and I wonder if he thinks I’m insane by pointing that out. He waits for me to continue though, and I try to choose my words wisely, but my emotions are starting to take over. “You marked me, and you’re fucking whores. Just give me a little time to accept that.”

“Hayden,” he says, his voice sounding like a deep warning.

Holding my hand up, I shake my head. “It’s not my place to ask, or question, or anything. I just. I overheard some of the guys talking about it today, and it surprised me. I guess I didn’t think you’d be doing that. We never talked about it, and it’s silly for me to think you’d be monogamous…”

I don’t realize what’s going on until it’s happening. Ward is suddenly in front of me and he places his hand on my chest and shoves me back against the mattress. I gasp in surprise as he straddles my hips and his nose is just inches from my own. He’s obviously pissed off and I hold my breath as I wait for him to speak.

“You think I’m fucking other bitches?” he growls. I don’t say anything, instead, I just nod my head. “Who told you I’ve been with anyone else?”

“I overheard a couple of guys say you were fucking someone’s ass a few days ago,” I snap.

My eyes round with my own words and Ward’s head jerks back as though I’ve hit him. He pushes off of me and stands at the side of the bed. I sit up as he’s running his hand through his hair and beginning to pace.

“It’s been more than a few days,” he states.

“You claimed me, and I have no right to ask,” I whisper.

His head turns to me and he stops walking. “You have every right to ask,” he announces. “Fuck, I’m a bastard, but I’m not that much of a bastard, Hayden. You ask, and I’ll tell, that’s how this is going to work. Just like I ask, and you tell.”

“Have you fucked one of the clubwhores, in the ass, recently?” I dare to ask.

My breathing is more like panting as I watch his actions, and reaction, to my question. His eyes never leave my own, and I like that his gaze is steady as he looks at me.

I should lie to her. I should tell her no. Her eyes are pleading with me, begging to tell her what I know would be a lie, but what she wants to hear. Nobody wants this truth, not even if she’s asking me for it. I told her that she has every right to ask and that I’ll tell, but I never said it would always be the truth.

“It’s been two weeks,” I blurt out.

She blinks slowly, then nods. “In the ass?”

I scrub my hand over my face, wondering if this is the time to tell her my one major hang up. It’s a hang up that hasn’t been an issue with her, so I wasn’t planning on telling her. Tugging on the end of my beard I let out a grunt, then I groan. I’m just going to say it.

“My father was religious. He taught me that sex was for procreation only,” I announce.

Hayden sits up and tucks her legs beneath her body, her mouth opens slightly in an O shape. I want to fill it with my dick and forget this entire goddamn conversation. Unfortunately, I can’t do that, she’s definitely interested in what I have to say right about now.

“The only loophole in physical pleasure, aside from oral, is anal. It was drilled into my head from the time I hit puberty until he died. I tried casually fucking pussy, Hayden, and every time the guilt I felt would make me feel sick. I felt like a disappointment. I was in a couple short but committed relationships and I could have sex without feeling too bad, but never casually.”

“You can do it with me though, or does it make you feel bad?” she asks, her voice taking on a softer tone than just a few moments ago. I recognize it for what it is, she feels pity for me, she feels fucking sorry for me.

I begin to pace again, clenching my jaw and trying not to get too angry with her. She doesn’t understand, and she probably never will because it’s not fucking normal. I realize that now, but I’m hardwired and there’s no changing me.

“We’re committed, Hayden. You’re going to be my wife and the mother of my children. Hell, to the Devils, you’re already my wife,” I announce.

She blinks and nods slowly. “Okay. So, we can have sex the regular way, and you won’t feel bad. That’s good,” she mutters. “Does this mean that you’re still going to be fucking whores in the ass?” she bluntly asks me.

Goddamn, I love it when she comes straight out like that. My lips twitch in a grin, one that I’m sure she can’t see beneath my beard.

Reaching forward, I wrap my hand around the side of her neck, running my thumb up and down on her throat before I answer. “Nobody else, Hayden. There’s only you.”

Her lips tremble and I want to kiss them, but I don’t, not yet. I wait for her to speak. “Don’t lie to me about this, Ward,” she demands.

Lowering my head, I press my forehead against hers and I inhale a deep breath before I let it out. “Baby, I would never lie to you, especially not about something this important. I can see how much it means to you, and Hayden, I wouldn’t hurt you like that. I think you’ve been hurt enough, you don’t need to be hurt by your own man.”

Her hand lifts and I feel her fingers tangle in the hair at the back of my head. “Okay,” she rasps.

“Fuck, baby I love you. Not fucking anyone else. At my clubhouse, or anywhere else, especially not when I have you waiting at home for me,” I admit, shifting my head so I can brush my lips across her own.

Her fingers tighten in my hair, grasping onto me as she breathes. “I love you too, Ward. I just, I know the rules, and when I heard them say that, and then you said you were leaving. I freaked out,” she admits.

I chuckle, running my nose along her own. “I don’t blame you, but swear to fuck, Hayden, you’re the only one I’m fucking, from now until I die,” I grin.

“What if you outlive me?” she asks, a smile forming on her pretty plump lips.

Releasing my hold on her neck, I lift my head slightly so that I can look into her soft green eyes. “Then my cock is going to be neglected, don’t leave me here like that,” I wink.

Hayden’s head falls back, and she lets out a gorgeous sounding giggle. I love it, closing my eyes I relish in the sound. “We good, babe?” I ask.

She lifts her head, her smile still playing on her lips and she nods. “We’re good, Ward.”

Lowering my head, I press my lips to hers and give her a long, slow kiss. It doesn’t take us long to end up completely naked, and then I show her just how much I love her pussy—the taste and the feel, both. By the end of the night, we’re both satisfied, if not completely exhausted.