Monday is exactly how I anticipate it to go, except a little bit worse. My emotions are on edge, and Crooner is gone. I doubt I’ll see him again before he leaves with the other men. It’s pretty obvious that last night and this morning was our goodbye. Now, as I tuck Easton into bed, and the evening is here, I’m sad all over again.

This morning I’d decided to be done with him. It’s obvious he doesn’t really want anything to happen between us, and he keeps doing this whole push and pull thing, so my plans were to completely let him off of the hook. Except, now that it’s a reality and he’s nowhere to be seen, I’m sad.

I shake my head, hoping to shake myself out of this. It’s been a long hard couple of years, and I need to just breathe. I need to take care of me, and Easton, not worry about Crooner. Inhaling a deep breath, I decide to do just that.

In fact, if someone asks me out on a date, I’m going to accept. No more waiting around for him, not when he’s so hell-bent on staying away from me, and telling me how bad he is for me.

I’m nineteen, and I deserve to have a little slice of happiness. Granted, I don’t know that I’ll ever find someone that I’ll be as attracted to as Crooner, but I’ve had sex with men I’m not attracted to before. In fact, every man I’ve ever been with I haven’t found attractive.

My mystery future man may not have Crooner’s beard, his lean muscle, his dark blue eyes or his smile, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t be able to make me happy. He could. Maybe. Possibly.

I let out a breath, falling onto my couch with a huff. Nobody is going to make my belly flutter the way Crooner does. I know it. Deep down inside of me, I’ve known that he was meant for me from the moment I first laid eyes on him.

Love at first sight is real, and he’s who my subconscious picked, even if he’s fighting it tooth and nail. Even if I have to give up my dream of ever being his Old Lady. I know without a doubt that we are meant to be.

The rest of the week goes by in a complete blur. Between work and Easton, I’m happy for the distractions. It seems like every single day someone from the club comes into the bar to tell me about the men leaving. The only people I don’t see are Crooner and Baby.

It’s Friday afternoon and I’m counting down the hours until I’m finished working for the week. Usually, I love my job, but this week has been difficult. I’m ready to take a bottle of wine back to my trailer, eat the chocolate cake I bought to make from the store, and relax. Drown myself in my sorrows and eat my weight in cake.

I’m wiping down the bar top, waiting for Traci to show up for her shift when a man’s voice calls out my name. Looking up from my duty, I’m surprised to meet the blue gaze of Baby, standing right in front of me.

“Hey, Baby,” I murmur.

He grins, placing his hands on the bar and leaning over a little. “You doing okay, beautiful?”

Pressing my lips together, I roll them around a few times before turning them into a smile and I nod. I’m not really doing okay, but he doesn’t need to know that. He doesn’t need to know that I’m over here pining for Crooner, who obviously doesn’t want me. If he did, he could have me and he knows it. I’m not going to sit around and wait a minute longer for him. His decision is made, and it doesn’t include me or Easton. But Baby is standing right here in front of me, a smile on his face and it’s aimed toward me.

“I am,” I state.

His eyes search mine for a few seconds and he nods. “Good girl, you want to do dinner with me tonight?”

My breath hitches, surprised that he’s asking me out on a date. My plans of cake and wine completely vanish, but then I think about Easton. I haven’t seen him much this week, and I don’t want to just leave him at Gracie’s to go out on a date. I know she or Lea would watch him, but I miss him.

“You have Easton. What if I came over after he went to bed? Brought over some dessert or something?” he asks, reading my mind.

My teeth sink into my bottom lip and I nod once. I’m not ready for him to meet a man as anything but one of his uncles at the club. He has a special bond with Crooner, but all of the other men are just like uncles to him. None of them have really ever had any one-on-one time with him, except Crooner.

“That sounds good, really good actually.”

Baby chuckles, giving me a wink before he takes a step back from the bar. “See you around nine?”

I nod. “Yeah, nine sounds great.”

He turns and leaves just as Traci walks through the door. Her eyes widen when she realizes I’m watching him and my cheeks heat, assuredly turning pink. “There’s a story, and I want it,” she calls out, making her way back behind the bar.

I lean down and grab my purse, shaking my head. “No story, not yet anyway,” I shrug.

“And Crooner?” she asks, arching a brow.

I let out a huff. “Consistently and adamantly unavailable.”

Traci lets out a bark of laughter. “They all are, honey. He’ll get his head out of his ass eventually. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. But you know what?” Tilting my head to the side, I wait for her to finish. “Fuck him. Have some fun while he figures his shit out. That’s what I would do,” she shrugs.

“Do you think he’ll really want more one day?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

I don’t really talk about what I want, or Crooner, but I know it’s obvious to everybody that I like him. I don’t hide the way I feel about him, I never have. He hangs the moon. He’s not only a man who saved me, he’s a man who has always protected me. He’s helped me from day one, and I fell in love with him even if he didn’t with me.

Traci grins. “Oh honey, I think he wants more now. He’s a stupid fucking man though, so it may take you getting under another man for him to figure out that he doesn’t want you with anybody else. Might as well have fun. I know I would, especially with what I hear Baby is packing behind those jeans.” She waggles her eyebrows and I feel my face heat, again.

I haven’t heard about what Baby has beneath his jeans, in fact, I think everybody is afraid to talk about sex in front of me. It comes with the territory of my past, I suppose. I don’t blame them for treading lightly around me, especially when I first arrived and I was scared of my own damn shadow. Although I’m still kind of scared of things, I just cope with my fears a bit better now.

Leaving the bar, I give Traci a wave goodbye and head toward Gracie’s. I have an extra bounce in my step tonight. I have a date, and I’m actually excited. Sure, I wish it was with Crooner, but I’m not going to let that get me down.

Baby is nice, and maybe Traci is right. Maybe being with him will wake Crooner up, but maybe it won’t matter, maybe I’ll fall for Baby while that happens and live happily ever after. Who the hell knows? All I know is that I’m going to have dessert with a guy tonight, a guy that likes me.

Closing the doors on the van, I look back behind me and frown. I don’t know why I expected Hayden to be here to see me off, but I did. Then my eyes scan the rest of the crowd and my frown deepens. Baby isn’t here either. Fuck.

Something ugly uncurls in the pit of my stomach at the thought of him being with her right now. Sure, it was half what I wanted, but I told her we’d talk when I got back, and I meant it.

Free lifts his chin to me. We make our way to the small crowd of people saying our goodbyes. Snake is the last one we talk to and his brows are pinched together as he watches us.

“I should go with you,” he states.

Free chuckles. “Brother, you have a baby, a wife, and a club to run. No way in fuck do you need to come with us. We don’t even know what we’re getting into,” he explains.

“The three of you, it doesn’t feel like enough manpower,” he murmurs.

I clear my throat. “We’ll be good, brother. We have enough gun power to take care of shit. We’re only there to check everything out. If we can get in there and tear shit up, we will, if we can’t, then we’ll come back with a plan of action,” I explain.

Snake nods, lifting his arm, he wraps his hand around the back of his neck and squeezes. I can tell that he’s struggling with the decision to stay or go. To me, it isn’t a choice. He isn’t going. He is our president and he needs to be here, not out on the road scoping out this compound, if it is even a real thing. We don’t know a damn thing yet, we could be going on a fool’s errand.

“Fuck, it just feels like this shit is finally coming to an end. I want to be there,” Snake chuckles.

I shake my head. “You probably will. I doubt we’ll be taking down a whole compound, just the three of us. We’ll be back in a couple of weeks I’m sure,” I chuckle.

We load ourselves into the van. Free in the driver seat, me in the passenger and Motorhead sprawled out with all of the guns in the back.

The drive to Rainbow Lake is about thirteen hours, give or take, and the compound is supposed to be about an hour north of there. We’re staying in a rented cabin near the lake to assess our surroundings, and then we’re going to try and find a way inside of the compound.

“You get your shit handled with Hayden?” Motorhead asks as soon as the van crosses over the clubhouse exit gate.

I make a noise in the back of my throat, not wishing to get into this conversation, again. I’m actually fucking tired of it. Not just of talking about it, but thinking about it, too. Hayden is the only thing I’ve been able to think about for the past two years. She’s consumed my every thought. I need a fucking break.

“He’s letting her go, can’t you tell?” Free mutters from the driver’s seat.

Motorhead grunts this time. “You’re a dumbfuck,” he announces.

Turning around to glare at him, I speak. “I’m not letting her go, and I haven’t handled anything. She’s a nineteen-year-old kid. She also has a kid. She doesn’t need my old ass chasing after her and fucking up her life even more than it already is. She needs to make her own decisions. She needs to be on her own for a while. I told her we’d talk when I get back. Now, are you two bleeding cunts finished hounding me about it?”

Neither Free or Motorhead say anything else. I’m glad for their fucking silence. It’s going to be a long thirteen hours if they don’t stay the fuck out of my business.

We don’t say anything to each other until it’s time for our first fuel up. “Let’s get some food, I’m fuckin’ starved,” Motorhead grumbles from the back of the van.

Sliding out of the passenger seat, I stretch and look around. There isn’t much here. A little greasy spoon is in view though, so we decide to head over there for some burgers before hitting the road again. Free fuels up the van, while Motorhead and I make our way over to the restaurant.

“Fuck,” Motorhead hisses from behind me.

I glance over my shoulder, and fuck is right. There are two RCMP cars pulling into the diner’s parking lot. Goddamn Royal Canadian Mounted Police, fuck me. My hand is on the handle of the front door. We can’t just turn around and leave, we’d really look fucking suspicious then.

We continue walking inside, but I can feel the Mounties gazes on us. My back feels like it’s on fucking fire from their eyes. “Anywhere you like,” a voice calls out from the kitchen.

Motorhead and me walk to the back of the restaurant. I sit with my back against the wall, and Motorhead sits across from me. His gaze meets mine and I can tell it’s killing him to sit with his back to the rest of the room.

“Afternoon JoAnne,” one of the Mounties calls out.

I glance over and notice that they sit at the bar area. One of them glances at me and I lift my chin in a silent greeting. He doesn’t respond; however, his eyes don’t leave mine for what feels like the longest five seconds of my life. The tension in the room is so fucking thick that you can cut it with a knife.

The bell above the door rings and I break away from the Mounties gaze to watch Free walk through the door. His steps don’t falter as he walks right past the two Mounties. He continues to make his way toward us, slipping into the booth next to me.

“This should be fun,” he grimaces.

“No shit,” I chuckle, picking up the plastic covered menu.

Silently, we read our menus until JoAnne the waitress makes her way toward us. “What can I get you to drink?” she asks. There’s a bit of a tremble in her voice, and I wonder if she’s scared of us.

Glancing up at her, I give her a smile and ask for a water and a tea. She nods, writing down my drinks, then Free and Motorhead’s before she runs off, never once making eye contact with us.

“Jittery,” Motorhead says.

“Yep,” I agree.

JoAnne appears again and shakily sets down our drinks. It’s a miracle the poor woman doesn’t spill them everywhere. Then she takes our food orders. We all order burgers with fries. Nothing out of the ordinary, and no special requests. Afraid if we did, she would completely freak the fuck out on us.

We don’t speak, the room is so quiet that it’s deafening. The Mounties aren’t talking either, and after about fifteen minutes, I see movement out of the corner of my eyes. I glance over to them and I watch as they stand and adjust from their seats. They don’t walk outside like I expect though, instead, they make their way toward our table.

I suck in a breath as they approach.

“You boys passing through?” the one who stared at me asks, placing his hands on his hips.

Clearing my throat, I lean back in my seat a bit and tip my chin up to look at him. “Yes, sir. Just passing through town on our way up north,” I explain. It’s the only explanation he’s going to get from me.

He blinks, probably surprised by my use of the word, sir. That’s the thing though. I don’t hate authority, I never have. Some of the men in our club do, but not me. I’m fucked up in a completely different way.

“We don’t want to see you back here. Pay for your food and go,” he grunts, rocking back on his heels.

I grind my teeth together, wishing I could smart off and say something to him, but I don’t. The last thing I need is some small town Barney Fife getting a hard-on for me and making this mission we’re on impossible.

“Not a problem, sir. Our van is gassed up and we’ll be leaving as soon as we finish our lunch,” Free murmurs.

“Good,” his partner snaps. “We don’t need your kind in our town.”

Without another word, the two men march out of the restaurant. “What a couple of dicks,” Motorhead mumbles under his breath.

I can’t stop myself from chuckling. “Yeah, let’s eat and get the fuck out of here. Maybe we’ll remap our route for the way home,” I suggest.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Free mumbles.

Once our food arrives, we quickly eat, then leave cash on the table before we get the fuck out of dodge. We don’t miss the police car that’s waiting at the edge of town as we drive out. Yeah, we’ll definitely have to change our route on the way back home.