Dinner with her brother and Nico was a lot of fun. They told her all about her wedding plans. When Mads and Sofia showed up, Iona had a glimpse of what Christmas morning and every other morning for the rest of her life could be like. And that keen sense of longing she’d been trying to pretend was just a nice-to-have sharpened into a dull ache in her gut. Once again she was forced to admit that she wanted her own family.
“Why did you bring Iona a boat?” Sofia asked as they were all sitting around the living room after dinner, drinking coffee and eating the cookies that the Erikssons had brought.
“Theo’s family are in shipping,” Iona said. “But isn’t there a Greek Christmas tradition involving boats? Sofia is trying to learn about as many of those as she can.”
Theo nodded and then smiled at Sofia. “Iona’s right, but it’s more of a custom than a tradition. This boat that I brought for Iona has something special hidden inside of it.”
“It does?” Sofia asked. “Where is it? Can I look for it?”
Iona nodded. She suspected that it would be hidden in the hold of the boat. She went to the table, where the boat was resting, and handed it to Sofia, who held it very carefully, turning it over and they all heard the rattle of something inside.
A smile lit Sofia’s face as she started to feel all along the deck of the miniature boat until one of the boards slid open. She reached inside and pulled out a tiny box that had a gold bow on it.
“It’s so pretty,” Sofia said, bringing it over to Iona.
Iona looked down at the little box, which she knew she wouldn’t have found if it wasn’t for Sofia. She looked over at Theo.
“Go ahead and open it, Iona.”
She opened the box and when she did she saw it held a small charm in the shades of blue of the Turkish Eye. It was a good luck symbol that many Greeks often gifted to newborns. Iona was touched that Nico had given it to her.
“Thank you, Nico.”
“You’re very welcome. Luck is in no way the same as the gift you gave me when you graciously stepped aside for myself and Theo, but I wanted you to have something special, not only for Christmas but for the rest of your life.”
That was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to her. “I’m just lucky to see you both so happy.”
The charm was on a fine silver chain, which Mads took from her and then put around her neck. She held it for a second and then let it fall back against her body.
“What makes that lucky?” Sofia asked, going over to Theo.
Iona wasn’t sure if the little girl wanted one for herself or if she should give the gift to her. But it had clearly been meant for her and Sofia seemed to be aware of that.
“It reflects the evil eye. So, it keeps bad things from happening to the wearer.”
“I love it,” Sofia said. “What other traditions do you have?”
“Most Greeks are orthodox,” Theo said. “So, Nico exchanges gifts on January 1st and not December 25th.”
“Really?” Sofia asked. “I bet Remy doesn’t know that.”
“He might not,” Mads said. “You can let the class know in a nice way tomorrow.”
“Papa, I’m always nice,” Sofia said.
“Except when you’re naughty,” he retorted.
“It was only that once,” Sofia said.
“I can’t believe someone as sweet as you could be naughty,” Nico said.
“It was a boy at school,” Sofia said, still holding the boat and going over to sit on the couch next to Nico.
“Boys always used to get Iona in trouble too,” Nico said.
“Did they?” Sofia asked. “Do they still, Iona?”
Iona just laughed. “Sofia inspired our very popular ‘naughty and nice’ truffles at the Candied Apple Café.”
This evening reminded her of how much she loved the holidays and the magic of Christmas. That maybe meeting Mads and starting to become friends and lovers was destined to be, but she had yet to have a good experience with destiny and just riding along with this was harder than she’d expected it to be.
She wanted to smile and enjoy this time. Tonight was absolutely perfect, except there was something deep inside of her that she was afraid of losing. Afraid that this one night would be the closest she’d come to having a family of her own with Mads and Sofia. Not because Mads was insincere or anything like that but because she realized when she’d looked down at the charm that Nico had given her that she didn’t believe in luck. She had spent her entire life making her own way and never had she felt like she’d had chance on her side.
Theo and Nico left a short while later and when the door closed behind them she noticed Sofia was still playing with the boat. Mads watched her carefully and she smiled at him, trying to pretend that everything was okay when deep inside she knew it wasn’t. She couldn’t put her finger on it but something had changed between the two of them.
“Do you want to take the boat home with you?” Iona asked Sofia.
“No, it’s yours. I do like it, though,” Sofia said.
Mads winked at his daughter. “Go put your shoes on, Sof. It’s time for us to go.”
“Okay,” she said, skipping out of the room.
“Theo and Nico are so good together. Thank you for coming and joining us tonight.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it,” Mads said.
She might be viewing Mads and Sofia in the light that she wanted to see them. And the truth was she had no way of stepping back and being objective. She cared deeply for them. Both of them.
***
“How’d it go last night?” Hayley asked as Iona walked through the kitchen at the Candied Apple the next morning.
Iona touched the charm that had been a gift from Theo. “It turned out really nice. Mads and Sofia brought down some cookies for dessert.”
“You guys are getting pretty close,” Hayley said.
“I think so. I’m still trying to keep it casual,” Iona admitted.
“Good idea,” Hayley said.
“Yeah, this is also their first holiday without Gill and I don’t want to allow myself to believe that there is something more to it than just friendship.”
“I like that in theory, but I’ve seen the two of you together and there is a definite spark.”
“There is.” She stopped herself from saying anything else. She’d thought about that night a lot. She had gone over it again and again in her mind. She wondered if Mads had felt he’d let her come too close that night. Shown her his vulnerability in a way he’d never intended.
She had no regrets. She’d always been one of those people who kept looking forward. Even if she knew her actions were dumb she knew she couldn’t go back in time and change them and so she’d just stayed focused on making the most of her mistakes. But sleeping with Mads didn’t feel like a mistake. Even now she wanted him again.
If he’d said to her that he wanted to keep sleeping together she knew she’d have gone along with it.
But he hadn’t. And that left her in this state of not being sure what was happening between the two of them.
“Io?”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, honey, you’ve got it bad for him, don’t you?” Hayley came over to her and put her arm around Iona’s shoulders, hugging her close.
“I don’t know. I can’t see anything clearly with Mads. It’s like he’s two different people at times. He does things for me that are so sweet and the kind of gesture that strangers don’t do for each other and then he doesn’t call or text for three or four days. It’s so confusing.”
“He’s a guy. That’s how they are. Even being engaged to Garrett hasn’t made his motivation any clearer to me,” Hayley said. “I mean last night he said he had to work late so I packed us a picnic and brought dinner to him and he was all sweet about it when I was there but when he got home he was different.”
Garrett was a cop who’d moved to Internal Affairs right after he and Hayley had gotten engaged. “Maybe something happened that you don’t know about.”
“Probably. I tried to get him to talk about it but he didn’t want to,” Hayley said.
“Did you try to force it?” Iona asked.
“Yes. Which is why I was here so early to make the candy. We are definitely ready for the open house and anything else that happens this week.”
Iona smiled at her friend. “That is why I’m here early too. I didn’t want to stay home and think about last night again. I mean I’ve rehashed it a million times and tried to figure out if I should have followed him back to his place or just let it alone. It’s so hard to figure out if I’m making more mistakes or not.”
“I know what you mean. What are you working on this morning?” Hayley asked.
“The final presentation for you and Cici about the offer from the Loughman Group,” Iona said. “I think we need to get that wrapped up.”
“I know I’m being a control freak but I don’t want to do it. What if we can’t find someone who will follow my recipes? You know how chefs can be.”
“The only one I truly know is you. And you can be a pain about how things are on the palate. So, I imagine that’s typical?”
Hayley fake-punched her on the shoulder. “I’m not a pain … well I don’t try to be. Part of it is that I don’t want our production to become like Dunham Foods. I like that we are unique.”
Hayley’s family made a famous line of frozen food products and instead of working for the family business she’d struck out on her own to start the Candied Apple.
“I get it. But this is a different type of offer. They want us to be a boutique, niche chocolate shop in each of their hotels. The chocolates in each location will be inspired by the local ingredients.”
Hayley sighed. “I would want to go to each location and help design the chocolates.”
Which Iona knew wasn’t going to happen since Hayley and Garrett were planning a Valentine’s Day wedding. “Okay. Let’s see what Cici says when she’s in the office.”
“Okay. Will doing the deal make things better for you and Mads?” Hayley asked.
Iona shook her head. “Our relationship has nothing to do with business.”
“Good to know,” Hayley said. Her phone pinged and she looked down at it. “Garrett.”
Lucy came over from her pillow in the hallway and Iona bent down to pet the little dog. “Want me to take her out while you call him?”
“Sure. Thanks for letting me vent about Garrett earlier.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Iona said, getting the leash for Lucy and taking her out back. She thought about friendship and knew that she and Mads were laying the groundwork to have a close relationship but she knew that she’d never be happy as just his friend. Yet she had no idea how to tell him that.
She spent the rest of the day at work trying not to think about him but found herself shopping for Christmas presents for both him and Sofia instead of working on the spring marketing plan like she was meant to.
***
Piers flew in on the night of the Candied Apple Café open house so he’d told Sofia they were going to have to miss it. She didn’t look too happy with him when he’d explained that Uncle Piers was here for the weekend only.
“He’s family, Sof.”
“You’re right, Papa, but Iona is our friend. And she invited us.”
“She’ll understand. Remember she had dinner with her brother the other night.”
“I know. I just like seeing her.”
Mads stopped walking toward Rockefeller Center and pulled Sofia out of the pedestrian traffic. “She likes seeing you too.”
Sofia tipped her head back and looked up at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Why is that important to you?”
She looked down at her shoes and shook her head.
“You can tell me.”
“It’s just nice to have a friend who’s a girl,” she said at last. “Jessie’s my nanny, so she doesn’t count.”
“She’ll still be your friend if we miss this open house,” Mads said.
She sighed and Mads knew that she wasn’t going to give up on this. Iona was important to Sofia. And whatever happened between himself and Iona, he knew that Sofia would want to stay friends with her.
“We can stop by on the way to the Rockettes. Will that work?”
“Yes, Papa. That will be perfect.”
“I’m glad. Let me text Uncle Piers and let him know we are running late. Then we need to double back to the Candied Apple,” Mads said. He had deliberately made sure they were a block over from the shop even though the walk added extra time to avoid having to go in and see Iona.
It wasn’t that he didn’t miss her. He did. More than he really wanted to admit, even to himself. It was simply that he was trying to be smart. And seeing Iona made him want to be impulsive. Do things like kiss her or make promises that she wouldn’t need to rely on a charm for luck.
Sofia slipped her mittened hand into his as they crossed the street and walked toward the Candied Apple. “I told Remy we were going to be there too.”
“Do you like him now?”
She shrugged. “He has been really nice since I saw him with Iona.”
“That’s the night you were upset. What happened?”
“Nothing. His mommy said that she was glad to see us out this Christmas,” Sofia said.
“She said that you?” he asked, surprised. It wasn’t the kind of comment that Sofia would be able to understand.
“No. To Remy’s dad. But I overheard her,” Sofia said. “A lot of adults say things when they think we aren’t listening. But Remy heard her too.”
“What did he do?”
“He held my hand and said I wasn’t naughty at all.”
That had been nice of Remy. Mads was beginning to like him. He’d treated Sofia with kindness even when his daughter hadn’t been at her best.
“Then why did you cry?” he asked. It sounded to him like Remy’s family were caring people.
“I miss Mommy,” Sofia said. “I know she can’t be here but I wish she was. I think she would have liked Iona too.”
Mads tipped his head back and blinked a few times. He knew that his daughter missed Gill. She sometimes told him about it late at night when she woke with a nightmare. And he did think that she and Iona would have gotten on well. And he felt that pang of wishing life had been different for them both.
“I wish she was too,” Mads said.
Sofia hugged his legs. “Iona makes me not miss her so much.”
“I’m glad,” he said, knowing he had to handle whatever was going on with Iona carefully. He didn’t want to chance causing Sofia to lose another woman in her life.
There was a line to get into the Candied Apple and he spotted a familiar redhead near the door dressed much the same as she’d been the first day they’d met. She had on that short red velvet dress trimmed in white faux fur. Her legs looked longer than ever and the bell on the top of her Santa hat jingled as she turned her head towards them.
She waved at them and Sofia ran over to talk to her. Mads stayed back. He was not handling this very well. He’d promised himself he’d protect Sofia from more heartache and he’d never guessed that he could be the cause of it. That his feelings for Iona might make him let her close to his daughter and then he’d have to be the one to deal with things if he and Iona didn’t work out.
And how could they? He wasn’t ready for someone else in his life. He’d promised himself he’d never fall in love again. Never care so deeply for another person save Sofia that he’d be broken if they died. He couldn’t do it again.
“Come on, Papa. We don’t have to wait on the line,” Sofia said as she came back and took his hand, leading him towards the store.
Iona smiled as they approached and waved them in. “Thank you for stopping by.”
He noticed she had on her lucky charm necklace and wondered if it would protect her from him and his frozen heart.
“No problem. We can’t stay long. We’re on our way to Radio City Music Hall.”
“It’s just nice to see you both,” she said. “Don’t forget to pick up your ‘naughty and nice’ truffles.”
“We won’t,” Sofia said.
When he went by her, Iona squeezed his hand and smiled at him in a way that was sweet and personal. More intimate than the smile she flashed at the crowd. Or maybe that was just because he realized how much he liked her and wished that he was a different kind of man so he could claim her for himself.