Anniston ravages my lips like a hungry lioness. I’m shivering in violent shakes, but I don’t dare say anything. I love when she’s like this. It makes the torture so worth it.
“You drive me fucking crazy,” she mumbles between sucking and biting my bottom lip.
I snake my hand into her leggings. Seek her wet heat, which is dripping by the time I slide my finger in. “You love it.”
She stops abruptly, and I slow my finger, waiting for what she’s going to do.
“Go shower.” She hops off of me and the cold air hits my finger.
She extends her hand, helping me up, and we walk silently back into the house where I split off to the bathroom, restless to get these wet clothes off.
“Come back down when you are through,” she yells.
“Alright.” My teeth chatter in a very unsexy way.
I steam up the bathroom in no time. The hot water is pounding the day away when someone knocks.
“Commander wants you downstairs.”
Cade. Fucking Cade.
“Tell her I will be down when I’m finished.”
She’s not my fucking Commander. I’ll be down when I am good and damn ready. The only reason I even played her little swimming game is because I know she gets so turned on she can hardly control it. And I needed to burn off all those cookies I ate just to piss Cade off. I don’t even like peanut butter cookies. She baked chocolate chip ones for me earlier. I’m saving those for later.
The look on Cade’s face as I forced down that last cookie was worth the miles of swimming. I have to give him some credit though. If the situation were in reverse, he wouldn’t have gotten that last one down. Don’t come between me and food. Especially my cookie. Get the reference there?
“Whatever, man. Your funeral.”
Gah! Is he still at the door? I ignore him, praying he’ll take his butt-kissing ass downstairs. Just because I let my guard down a minute does not mean we are friends. That is my fucking girl. You are either gay or a threat. There is no in between with Ans.
Drying off as slow as I possibly can, I finally relent and get dressed. Cade’s seated at the island eating a sandwich when I enter the kitchen. Mmm. I hope she made me something, too.
“Bout time, Von Bremen.”
I shrug at her rude comment. “It takes effort to look this good.”
She tries not to smile. It doesn’t work. “Sit down, handsome.”
I do as I’m told and sit at the table, my fingers playing a drum solo on the glass top. My ADHD has been pretty bad since ole Cade came to town. I’m not sleeping. I’m antsy and anxious all the fucking time. Not a good combination for my pitching stats.
Anniston notices and gives me a questioning stare. I tilt the corner of my mouth in a half-ass smile and sit on my hands.
“You hungry?” she asks, heading to the fridge.
“Yeah.”
She starts making me a sandwich. I don’t even have to tell her what I want. She knows, but I would eat whatever she put in front of me.
“Where are all the cookies I made this morning?”
I feel a fucking grin pull at my lips. Checkmate, Cade.
“The chocolate ones you made for me are in the bedroom.”
Cade’s glass slams on the island. Hard. Snorts of laughter escape my lips. Cade is staring daggers at me like twenty-five years in prison might be worth it to get a couple stabs in on me. I blow him a kiss and his chair scrapes across the tile. He’s about to blow.
Anniston, completely unaware of his potential meltdown continues, “Where are the peanut butter ones? They were all on the counter.”
I can’t help it. I double over laughing.
“What did you do, Theo?”
Her voice isn’t mad as much as it is amused. She’s used to my bullshit.
“He ate them all.”
Tattletale, tattletale.
“That’s why we were fighting.” Gah. What is this? Confession?
“Theo!”
I sober up to roll my eyes at Cade. “I just ate a couple.” Or twenty. I lost count.
I start devouring my sandwich before she can scold me anymore.
“I’ll make more. I apologize for his lack of manners,” she tells him.
Cade grins at me. Fucker.
Anniston worries over Cade after his confession. Making sure he takes a supplement. Wipes his ass. Okay, that didn’t happen but damn! Send him to bed!
“I’m tired. I don’t need it,” he argues.
Wait. What did I miss? Anniston has her arms folded across her chest, her no-bullshit face aimed at him.
“Just for tonight,” she negotiates as she slides the dreaded blue pill across the counter.
He slides it back. “I’m okay.”
She pushes it back across the counter. “Take it.” She looks to me. “You’re next.”
Fuck me.
“I’m tired too,” I argue. If Cade gets to argue, so do I. I hate sleeping pills. Sometimes they are a necessity for someone like me who is hyper and suffers from insomnia. Anniston has figured out small behavioral changes that help and most of the time I don’t need them, but with Cade here, I haven’t been sleeping. Neither has he from what I hear.
She gives me a look, opens the bottle, removes a pill and is on me before I have a chance to stop her. Her lips press against mine. I know what’s coming, she’s done this before. Her tongue sweeps the seam of my mouth. Her hand caresses my balls. I moan. Fuck! Her tongue drives inside, tasting me. Controlling me. I’m swept away by her distinct taste when the little pill hits my tongue. Her hand tightens around my balls. Not painfully but enough to serve as a warning. I swallow. Her hand goes back to rubbing me.
“Go upstairs,” she whispers.
I nod, dizzy from her onslaught. She pushes coconut water into my hand.
Turning to head upstairs, I hear, “What’s it going to take, Gorgeous?”
It better not take what it just took for me.
“I’ll take it,” his voice is low and obedient.
I don’t stay to see what happens. I bound up the steps and hop in the bed to wait for my prize for taking the dreaded pill.
“What’s with the pissing match?”
I’m snuggled in the down comforter somewhere between dozing off and slightly conscious. The feeling is welcome after the hellish day I’ve had. My eyes rove up her firm five-foot-five frame. Her body has become slimmer, more toned. I mean, it always has been, but since she has been training Cade, it seems more defined than usual. Her pajama pants hang a little looser on her hips, her abs dipping lower into her ribs with the weight loss. She’s a work of art.
“What do you mean?” I fake ignorance. I’m not sure I want to have this discussion at the moment. My mind is fuzzy, my body humming with a chemical high.
Her lips purse in annoyance that I am taking this approach. I don’t care. If I have to talk about Cade one more fucking time, I think I might explode. It’s not that difficult to understand. I hate him. I hate him being here. I hate that she is forcing my hand.
“Don’t play dumb. You know what I mean.” She moves to the edge of the bed, perched on the side like one of those angels you see on old church stained-glass windows. Those blonde tresses fall past her delicate shoulders in disarray, just begging to be pulled. She spears with me with one of her no-nonsense looks.
Reclining farther back into the pillows, I release a sigh, knowing I am about to endure a long-ass conversation. One way or another I will be falling asleep easily tonight, whether it be from the pill or her yammering on and on about fucking Cade.
When I don’t answer immediately, she tries again. “Why did you eat all his cookies, Theo? That was ugly.”
Psh. Is that all she thinks I did? That’s nothing. My butt has been clenched with worry all week, wondering when she was going to find out that I called Thor, my part-time, private security detail (I never can remember his real name), and had him run a background check on Cade. I may have even reported a suspicious person to the police. Cookies? I can deal with that line of questioning.
“I was hungry?” I give her a little shrug and a smile. She knows I’m an asshole. There is no reason for this. She knows that I hate Cade and would do anything to drive him the fuck away from here.
Her eyes roll before she pinches my arm.
“Oww!” I flinch away, rubbing the angry mark.
“You did that just to upset him.” Her accusation is laced with something I haven’t seen before. Real anger. I don’t think I have ever seen her furious at me like this. Sure, we have fights but this… this is different. She cares about him. My stomach roils with the thought that this man is going to take my girl. I am going to be forever friend-zoned while Cade rides away into the sunset with her.
I sit up, fighting off the effects of the sleeping pill, knowing this is going to get serious, fast.
“You’re right. I don’t want him here. You know that.” I smooth my palm against her bare arm. “Please let me find him a place to go. It’s not safe for you to be alone with him.”
She’s shaking her head, stubborn as usual. “He won’t hurt me.”
That’s it. I spring from the bed, fuming at her denial of the situation. “Yes, he will, Ans! You don’t know what he’s been through, what he’s capable of.”
“He wouldn’t hurt me.” Tears have started to collect in her eyes, a rarity for her. I move closer. I want to comfort her but I need for her to understand this is not a stray dog she adopted.
“You don’t know that.” My voice is quieter as I try to let reason soak into that pretty head of hers. “I can get him the help he needs. A therapist. A place to stay. You name it and I will make it happen.”
She’s quiet for minute, deliberating my words. I’m starting to feel anxious, and out of habit bring my finger to my mouth, ready to bite my nails down to nubs.
But before I can even slip the first one in she swats it down with a glare. “No.”
No, what? No to my nail biting, or no to the whole moving Cade out? I cock my head to the side, encouraging her to elaborate.
“I’m happy here. With him.”
My heart fucking sinks straight down to my toes. I feel dizzy like I might just collapse right here. Fucking sleeping pills!
She must’ve caught on because she hurriedly says, “No, it’s not like that. I just mean… fuck! This is hard.”
You’re telling me. I feel like I am one word away from a meltdown.
She scoots closer, wrapping her arms around me. I don’t return her embrace. Call me petty but my damn feelings have just been stomped and spit on.
“For so long, I felt like I had no one except you.”
I nod, confirming that it has always been us for years. I don’t see the problem there.
“And, Theo, I just… I put everything I had into us. Now that we have been apart I’ve just been thinking.”
Oh, shit. This is not going at all how I had planned.
“I don’t really know who I am. You, know?” She looks at me like I’m supposed to agree or something.
I don’t. I don’t understand at all where she’s coming from. She doesn’t know who she is? That’s a surprise. Anniston has always had goals and aspirations. I don’t ever recall a time that she has been confused about what she wanted in life.
She frowns, tugging at her hair. “This isn’t coming out right.”
“I agree. This is a terrible nightcap.”
“I love you.”
That pops my head up. She’s shy after the revelation, glancing down at her pink-painted toes.
I cup her chin with my fingers and lift her head until she has no choice but to look at me. “I love you, too.”
I do. I really, fucking do.
She smiles, running her thumb across my lip. I open, sucking it in before she can move it. It gets a chuckle out of her, lightening the conversation.
“I’m not saying I want to be with Cade. I’m just saying I like helping him. He has no one and I remember when that was me and then you were there, pulling me up, dusting me off, and kicking my ass in gear when I wanted to quit. I wanted to be just like you.”
I smile at that confession, a warm feeling creeping into my chest.
“You were always so strong. So carefree. The world was your oyster, everyone else be damned.”
Funny, I thought the same about her. I stay quiet, though, and let her finish.
“I need to do this. I need to see who I am without Theo Von Bremen.”
Remember how I said a warm feeling was creeping up? Yeah, it turned ice-cold in an instant.
“What do you mean, Ans. Do you want me to stay away?”
“No! No, nothing like that. I just want to find myself. Somewhere where I don’t have a job because of you, or friends that are your friends.”
I’m shaking my head, eyes going wide with her revelation. How long has she been harboring these feelings? I never meant for her to feel like she isn’t anyone without me.
She squeezes tighter. “I’m messing this all up. I love you, Teddy. And I don’t want anything to change between us. I still want to work for you. I still want my Mondays and Thursdays. I just… want to do this with Cade. I need to do this. Let me help him. Let me do it for Hines.”
Well fuck. What am I supposed to say when she throws Hines, her beloved grandfather, into the mix? I know the guilt and demons that haunted her family. And I guess I never really thought about her doing this for him. Doing something that he was never able to. Save his son. He never knew the pain he was going through and it cost him everything.
Finally, I return her embrace, feeling like a total shit. I didn’t want to run her life or prevent her from making amends for the past. I just want her with me all the time. It’s hard to separate business from pleasure after all this time. It doesn’t help that we both carry around these feelings for each other that we never act on. I plant a light kiss on the top of her hair, inhaling her coconut shampoo. She smells so good. Like the beach.
“Okay,” I breathe. “You can keep him, but only on one condition.”
Her watery eyes find mine with a hesitant smile.
“I stay with you. Here. On all my off days. We do this together.”
Her face lights up with a smile. “I knew you would see it my way!”
I laugh. This damn girl. I pull her closer. “In all seriousness, though, if he steps out of line, even once, I will fucking kill him.”
She nods, knowing not to push me on this.
I can’t believe I am agreeing to this shit. It’s crazy! He’s a bum.
Pussy. Pussy is what controls my brain. “But my acceptance of this little project does not mean I have to like him or be nice to him.”
Her brows crease together. Too bad. Can’t have your bum and my good behavior, too. It’s one or the other.
“Can you just promise to try?” Her eyes are tired. She’s had a long day. This conversation needs to wrap up so we can both get some sleep.
“I’ll try,” I relent. I will, just not hard. “Now, can we go to bed? I’m about to pass out thanks to the sleeping pill you shoved down my throat. Now it’s kicked in too much for me to be able to perform properly.” I send her a hate glare and she giggles. Fucking sleeping pills make my dick limp as shit. Her fucking heart-to-heart lasted so long that now I will go to bed without my reward, and after this bullshit conversation I am owed a certain wet dessert.
She rubs my arm soothingly. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
I move out of her embrace, creating some distance between us. I need some milk and a little breathing room to digest what the fuck I just agreed to. “Damn right you will.”
“Where you going?”
“To get some milk.”
She scrunches her face with a sour look. It drives her crazy that I have to have milk every night before bed. She thinks it’s so gross, but she’s not a milk drinker. I don’t hear her complaining too bad when she’s suspended against the wall getting her brains fucked out. Protein, baby. Protein is what makes that happen.
“Want anything?” I ask, just as she’s snuggling under the covers, nestled in the indention I just left.
“No, thank you. Hurry back.”
I nod and leave, happy to have some space.
I agreed to this. This fucked up arrangement. I agreed to let another man live with my girl. To nurture him. I am a fucking idiot. What the hell voodoo did she just pull on me?
The kitchen is dark when I open the fridge, searching for my coveted milk. Anniston switched to organic a few months ago. I can’t tell the difference and don’t really care how many antibiotics I’m consuming but she does, so I drink the organic shit without comment.
I move my Mountain Dew to the side, something we keep on hand when I’m agitated. Anniston read that it can calm an ADHD person. I didn’t believe it at first, but one night when I couldn’t seem to calm down we tried it, and it worked. She now keeps a few stocked just in case. I don’t drink them any other time for fear they may not work if my body gets used to them.
Grabbing the milk, I pour myself a glass and start to chug right there in the light of the refrigerator. I know, I’m wasting resources, but it will only take me a minute. I’m midway when I hear a scratching noise. The fuck? Does she have rats? I hate rats. I need to call an exterminator.
This old plantation house draws in all kinds of animals. Once, we found a family of chipmunks in the dryer vent. Now, I have a guy on standby to make sure he keeps the creatures away. I am no farmer. I may have been raised in the south but a country boy, I am not. I do not do animals or… strays.
Speaking of strays. Cade’s body comes into view in the narrow beam of light, sitting in a chair at the table. His eyes are droopy, it’s obvious his sleeping pill has kicked in too. I shut the fridge and silently move past him. I’m not sure how long he’s been there but I don’t care to be in his presence any longer than I have to be.
“She loves you.” I stop at his confession.
“I know that.”
“You don’t deserve her.”
“I know that, too.” What’s his deal? Why tell me this? This is not a secret.
He smirks. Fucker. It gets a rise out of me just like he intended.
“Let’s get one thing straight, stray. Just because I am allowing this little project does not mean I approve of it. You keep your fucking hands to yourself and eyes off my girl. Get your shit together. Let her think she helped you and get the fuck out of here.”
The chair scrapes against the tile as he stands, coming chest to chest with me. “You better watch your fucking mouth, asshole. She may let you talk to her that way but I have no problem fucking up that pretty face for some damn peace around here. Apart from what she may tell you, you are not as charming as you think you are.”
I practically growl. “Stay away from my girl.”
He smiles, pushing me back with his chest, and whispers, “Make me.”
“Theo!”
Anniston. I look down the hall, but she hasn’t come down.
“Run along, little bitch.” He gives my chest a final tap with his.
I snap back around, ready to whoop Cade’s ass here and now on the kitchen floor. Fuck him! But for once in my life I take the high road and turn away, leaving Cade chuckling in the dark. He may have gotten the last laugh, but he won’t get the girl. It’s time to stop running. It’s time to stop playing. It’s time to claim what’s mine.
Brace yourself, Anniston, I am about to blow this friendship to hell.