Chapter 18 – Chelcie
Ohmigod.
Ohmigod.
Holy shit.
Oh. My. God.
My body still feels like it’s floating, and if it weren’t for the slight weight of Asher against my right leg and arm, I would have thought that I’d just dreamt that. I can feel him leaking out of my body, and I shudder slightly. My legs feel weak, as if I’ve just run ten miles. My pussy is still clenching with aftershocks. My lips feel swollen. And my heart feels whole.
Ohmigod.
What now?
“Stop thinking, Sunshine,” Asher mumbles at my side.
I turn my head and drink him in. His eyes are closed, and the hardness I’ve grown used to seeing across his face has vanished.
“I’m not,” I weakly defend.
“Babe, I can feel you thinking. Your whole body gets tight and you all but stop breathing. That was fucking mind blowing, and as much as I would love to take credit for you getting all breathless…I know your mind is working overtime right now.”
“I’m sorry?”
I jump when his deep laughter shakes his body. The sound is so foreign to me, but so beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh so…carefree before.
“I’m not sure hearing you say you’re sorry after I just fucked you is helping my ego here. Should I be glad you didn’t laugh when you saw my cock for the first time?” His body is still shaking with silent laughter, and I can feel my face flush with embarrassment.
“Oh, God! I didn’t mean it like that you jerk!” I chuckle. “I doubt you need any help with your ego, Ash. Something tells me you know just how mind blowing sex with you is.”
“Mind blowing, huh?” He leans up, his hand coming up and curling around my neck in the possessive way I’m coming to love. He sobers and looks down at my stomach. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
I turn on my side, his hold on my neck flexing as I move. “No, baby,” I whisper, enjoying the way his face gets softer when I call him that. “Why do you do that?”
He gets this adorably cute, confused look before his face darkens, and I instantly question if I should have kept my verbal vomit in check. Way to ruin the moment, Chelcie.
“Do what?” he asks, but I know he knows what I’m talking about. He wouldn’t have gotten that look if he didn’t.
“Uh, dammit. Okay. When I called you baby, twice now, you’ve gotten this look that is so… It’s… Damn, I don’t know how to explain it. You look at me like I’ve done something so remarkable and all I’ve done was call you a silly pet name. I was just curious. I’m sorry.” I duck my head in embarrassment even though I’m not sure what I did to be embarrassed about.
“Chelcie, look at me.”
“Uh-huh,” I hedge.
“Chelcie.” The command in his voice couldn’t be missed, but still, I avoid looking up. “I’m not going to ask you again, Sunshine.”
After taking a deep breath and willing those stupid tears away, I look up. I swear, all I do is cry these days; pretty soon, I’m going to be like all of those annoying heroines in books that never stop leaking! I gasp when I see the smile on his face. His eyes are soft, and he looks so carefree and peaceful.
“I’m not mad at you. You aren’t doing anything wrong in asking me that. Let’s get one thing straight, okay?” I nod. “I will always be honest with you. Always. Even if you don’t want to hear it. The only thing I ask is that you do the same. I don’t want you to ever doubt what’s going through my mind or wonder if you should say something. No secrets, babe. I understand why you didn’t tell me about the baby before now. That’s in the past. From now on, I want you to be completely open with me. Think you can do that?” I nod again. “Okay, Sunshine. That’s good.”
He kisses me sweetly then pulls back and urges me to rest on his shoulder. His arm curls around my shoulders and his hand that isn’t holding me tight grabs my hand and places it over his heart, keeping his warm hand on top. The steady beats of his heart help to calm my own. We settle into a relaxing peace that almost has me drifting off until he speaks again.
“I know I told you about my mother. I don’t want to get into that deeper, baby. Just know that there was absolutely no love when I was growing up. I can’t remember her ever calling me anything other than a bastard. Constantly reminding me how unwanted I was.” He pauses when I sob softly. “Hey, none of that. I’ve come to peace with it. It’s taken me a while, but she has no place left in my life. I pretty much never had a relationship until I decided to give it a go once. I didn’t love her, but I enjoyed being around her. Figured what the hell, surely there was a woman out there who wasn’t full of evil like my mother. She wasn’t as bad, but I learned almost too late just what kind of person she was. We were engaged for almost a year and not once did she call me anything other than Asher. So, I guess, long story short…hearing you call me baby, hearing something so fucking pure coming from your lips, does something to me that I can’t even explain. But I love it.”
God, my heart breaks for this man. This incredible man who has had way too much pain in his life. I can’t even fathom how a mother could treat her own children the way his treated him and Coop. Just the thought of it makes me pull my hand from under his and place it against my stomach.
“Hey, talk to me,” he requests.
“I can’t imagine how that bitch of a mother could treat you like that. And that…that woman you were engaged to… Asher, I want to hurt them so badly.”
He laughs lightly. “Sunshine, it’s in the past. It’s been a long time since I let my mother hurt me, even emotionally. As for Sarah Jane—that was her name—I haven’t even thought about her until tonight. She was a mistake, and I got lucky seeing her true colors before I married her.”
“Why do you call me that?” Well, hello ADD! Of all the things I should and could be asking him, I stupidly ask him why he calls me Sunshine.
“Huh?”
“Why do you call me Sunshine?”
He actually looks embarrassed for a second before he answers. “It’s going to sound stupid or maybe just make me sound like a damn pussy.” He awkwardly laughs. “I’ve been stuck in this fog, this darkness that’s held me captive since Coop’s murder. This black hole of grief that I just couldn’t escape.” He sighs, and I know this is costing him a lot to talk about. I instantly kick myself for bringing it up. “But then you came into my life, and as corny as it sounds, you were my light when there was none to be found. You were my Sunshine when I had been stuck in nothing but night.”
Oh my God!
“Oh my God,” I squeak.
“Yeah, I told you. It sounds stupid as hell.”
He goes to move away from me, but I quickly move, straddling his hips and making it impossible to get away. Bringing my hands up and framing his face, I make sure he has nowhere else to look but directly into my eyes.
“You make it impossibly hard not to hand my heart over to you. That has to be the most incredible, heartfelt, and moving thing anyone has ever said to me, Asher. Do not for one second think I would ever think that how you feel about me would make me think you were anything less than remarkable.” I lean down, pressing my lips lightly to his. I don’t move to deepen this kiss. I breathe him in, basking in the glow of being his sunshine.
“I want you again,” he says against my lips. His hand moving between us and slowly pushing into my pussy.
“Then take me. I’m yours,” I gasp.
“Yeah, Sunshine, you sure are mine.”
This time, he doesn’t take his time. I thought the first time we came together was toe-curling, awe-inspiring, earth-shaking, best sex ever…but this blows it all out of the water.
His eyes bore into mine the whole time his hips are thrusting powerfully, driving his thick erection into my body at a speed that has me gasping for my breath. His hands never leave my face, where he holds me prisoner to his gaze. His arms are under mine, bracing him to the bed and leaving mine free to roam over his strong back and firm ass. Every time he dips deep and my fingers dig into his back, he lets off this animalistic groan that has me soaking his cock.
By the time he pushes in deep, empting himself out into my body, I’ve come three times and would swear that I saw angels.
After he leaves the bed, returning with a warm washcloth to clean me off with so much care that I almost come again, he throws it off to the side and climbs back into the bed with me, wrapping me in his arms.
A peace I’ve never known washes over me in that moment, and I know without a shadow of doubt that, no matter what happens, this man has taken a part of my heart I will never be able to get back.