Chapter 15
I wake up in shock as Rhett’s hands grab my neck, and my eyes widen with his enormous weight crushing me. My hands slap against his arms to let me go. Releasing one hand, I watch it moving in the air, and it’s like I'm watching the events in slow motion as his fist connects with my ribs. My lungs empty in one breath from the force, and my attempt to scream out from the searing pain is useless. I can feel his fingers squeezing around my throat, and I struggle frantically against his tight grip. I dig my nails into his arms hard enough to pierce his skin, trying desperately to pull him off me. I drag downwards, my nails tearing into his rippling forearms, but it's not working. Pain shoots through my head with the pressure of his hold on me. I lift my hand and try to force my fingers behind his large hands to pull them away from my neck, but his violent strength is too much for me. Tears flow over my cheeks and down into my hair while my legs thrash about on the bed as I fight for air. My throat burns and I suck in what I can while his palm crushes my windpipe, cutting off the remains of my air supply.
My lungs begin to constrict, and my body contorts as I fight for my life.
I use my entire body against him—kicking, pushing at his massive shoulders, even scratching my toenails against his shins, but his large frame and his fight-trained muscles don't even register my pathetic attempts to save myself from his skilled attack.
He shifts and one hand raises. I catch the sight of it before the open palm strikes across my face, causing the room to spin.
I feel myself slipping away, but I can't allow myself to fall into the darkness like this.
I know that Rhett would never hurt me, not in a million years, but I can only wonder how tormented his mind is that it would make him do this. I hear the sound of a car, the roaring engine getting closer, and the headlights illuminate the room. The light shines on Rhett's face; his eyes are glazed over and unfocused; he's asleep.
As I stare up at him, my mind clears for a split second, and I remember that Jay is in the house. I let go with one hand, I try waving around—hoping to hit something, anything, That will a make a noise loud enough to wake him up. My fingertips glance across the wire from the bedside lamp, and I reach out as far as I can and take hold of it. I pull with every ounce of my energy to drag it from the nightstand, and then the ear splitting sound of it smashing on the floor. 'Please wake up Jay' I beg, as my tears drench the pillow.
I hear the door slapping on the wall, “Rhett!” Jay shouts, the light flicks on, and I see Jay running over grabbing Rhett and pushing him off me. Falling off the bed I cough, trying hard to get some air into my lungs.
“Don’t you dare Rhett, get out now.” Jay shouts, my hands on my ribs as they hurt so much, “Star,” Jay puts his arm on my back and rubs it, still coughing, not looking up from the carpet. I don’t even want to know what my face and neck look like right now. “Helen, you and Terry need to come over now.” I hear Jay say, the conversation ends there, as Jay brings his face closer to mine, “Scarlett, you have to tell me something,” Jay tells me, I can hear the pain in his voice, as the air is finally returning to me.
“It hurts…it hurts to…breath,” I say as the tears escape my eyes, and Jay pulls me in for a hug, and I scream out in pain, and just as quick he pulls away.
“Swe…”
“No, you don’t get to talk to her, I want you to leave,” Jay tells him turning around to face him, I hear footsteps moving away from me. “Let me help you up,” Jay puts his hands on my side gently, as I finally find some energy to stand up, “sit on the bed,” Jay helps me.
Jay looks at me, “I bruise…like a…peach,” I tell him knowing very well that I must look like a right fucking mess right now. Holding my ribs as they hurt every time I breathe, “it hurts,” I whisper to Jay who is stood in front, taking a step closer to me, I lean my head on his stomach, as the pain is getting terrible now.
“I’m sorry,” Jay whispers, I don’t even think he knows what to say to me right now, and to be honest, I don’t want him to say anything. I push off him and close my eyes as I breathe in again.
“What the fuck did you do!” I hear Helen shout, which means Rhett is still here, but I hear nothing from him. Looking over at the door, as Terry just stands there staring at me, my eyes move to Helen behind him, “I’m going to kill him,” she says pushing Terry to walk over to us.
“Please, I beg you, please tell me this is it,” Terry points to my lip and neck, I look at Jay as I don’t even think he knows, holding Jay's arm I close my eyes as the pain is getting worse and worse. Finally standing I open my eyes and lift my top up.
“It really hurts, I mean it hurts to breathe,” I whisper, not really wanting to talk as it hurts to do that too, I look down and see the huge purple bruise.
Terry touches my ribs, and I flinch as it hurts. “That’s broken, the only thing to help you with that is a lot of pain killer, I’m not going to lie, sweetheart, it’s going to hurt for a few days,” He looks over at Helen, and she leaves the room to get me some painkillers for me. “Shall we get you cleaned up,” Terry rubs my arm.
“I would if I could move,” I give him a small smile, I don’t feel like smiling, but I don’t need them looking at me like they feel sorry for me. Jay walks into the bathroom, and I look at Helen walking back into the bedroom. “How’s Rhett?” I ask her, as she gives me a glass of water and two pain killers.
“I think you should get some rest,” Helen looks over at Jay walks back over to me, softly touching my chin, I turn to face him, and he starts cleaning my face with the towel. I look at him, and my eyes start tearing up again.
“Helen, how is Rhett?” I ask again, giving her a look at tells her I want to know this time.
“He's gone for a run, I really think that you should get some rest if you can,” She pulls the covers off the bed, I slowly lie down, “we will be here when you wake up.” Helen puts a pillow against my ribs, “this might help a little,” she tells me, giving my forehead a kiss.
Pulling the pillow closer to me as I breathe, even though I have taken the pain killers it doesn’t seem to help right now, I can’t sleep because every time I breathe I want to cry. I watch Helen and Terry walk out of the bedroom, taking hold of Jay’s hand, he kneels down by the bed. “Thank you,” I whisper to him. If Jay wasn’t home, who knows if I would even be here right now.
Giving my cheek a kiss, “get some sleep,” he says slowly pulling the cover over me.
I can’t sleep I keep thinking about how I woke up, never have I ever been so scared in my life, I thought the worse, nothing but the bad was going through my head. I know that Rhett would never hurt me, but what could he do to me when he demons get closer again?
* * *
I turn to the clock, six in the morning, I’ve spent three hours, but now everything hurts so much more than before. Slowly getting out of bed, I walk to the bathroom to have a look at my reflection. Holding my ribs as I breathe, I turn the light on, I walk over to the mirror. I wipe the tear which slowly falls on my cheek, my neck isn’t as bad as my ribs, but I can see finger marks on them, in a light purple but my lip is cut, and that's going hurt when I want a drink. Splashing some water on my face, patting it dry.
Walking down the stairs, Jay must have heard me as he meets be at the bottom of the stairs, giving him a smile, he puts his hand out for me to take it as I come close to the bottom.
“Did you even go back to sleep?” I ask him, taking the last step down.
“No we didn’t, but I’m glad you did,” he stops, gives me a look, “he’s in there,” Jay whispers, I see Helen sitting where she always does in front of the fireplace.
“I wanted to get some cereal to eat, and some painkillers,” I say walking slowly into the sitting room. Rhett doesn’t turn around as I sit down on the couch, biting my bottom lip so that I don’t moan at the pain.
“I’ll get you some food,” Jay looks at Terry and nods his head for him to follow him, “want anything to drink?” Jay asks.
“Coffee, very strong coffee,” I give Jay a smile, moving in my seat.
I watch them both walk out, and Helen looks at me with a smile, giving her a little nod to say she can leave too, I know she wants to, before she moves she gives Rhett another looks then back at me, then walks out of the room.
I turn to look at Rhett who has his eyes focused on the TV since I entered the room, “how long you not going to look at me?” I ask, putting the controller on the coffee table, Rhett stands up and starts to walk out the room, “Rhett, don’t make this harder than it is,” I tell him as he walks out the room.
Leaning my head on the back of the couch, “here you go,” Jay sits down where Rhett was, “he’s been crying since he got back from his run,” Jay says, passing me the bowl of cereal.
“The longer he ignores me, the harder it’s going to be for him, he thinks I hate him, but I don’t. I need him to know that,” I tell Jay eating my cereal.
“I know, I think he knows too, and that's what’s hurting him the most, he thinks you should hate him,” looking over to the kitchen, “Terry said you can’t have any more painkillers for another hour,” he tells me. Great an hour of pain, and yet Rhett is hurting me more by not talking to me.
“Can you ask Rhett to just sit in here with me?” I ask Jay, he gives me a nod and walks over to the kitchen.
As I wait I eat my cereal, never did I think it would hurt this much to eat, I seriously didn’t think I used that many muscles to eat food.
Finishing the bowl, I lean forward to place it on the table I let out a little noise of pain, “let me,” Rhett takes the bowl out of my hand and puts it on the table for me.
“Thank you,” I say as he sits on the couch, “how was your run?” I ask, trying to break the silence between us as I’m not sure how much longer I can take it.
“Don’t, don’t talk to me like I’ve done nothing wrong, I could have killed you,” Rhett bites back, not looking at me. I look to the side as I see a movement, the three of them putting their coats on, Jay puts his thumb up and then down, asking if I will be okay, giving him a smile and a nod, they leave. Turning back to face Rhett, “If Jay wasn’t here…”
“But he was, Rhett…” I stop knowing very well no matter what I say to him he's not going believe me anyway. Moving closer to him, I turn a little I wrap my arm over his chest, well as much as I can before the pain gets worse.
Rhett wraps his arm around me softly, kissing the top of my head, “no matter how much I say I’m sorry, it’s never going to be enough, never,” Rhett goes silent for a moment, “one to ten how much pain are you in?” Rhett asks, he knows how much pain I’m in because Terry’s told him that he broke my rib.
“Ten,” I whisper to him, I feel his body tense up under me, “no training today?” I ask him, changing the subject from me.
“No, Terry’s words, ‘I don’t think I would let you walk out,’ so they are coming back later tonight for dinner, and then back to training tomorrow,” Rhett moves forward to reach for the remote, but stops when I scream a little at the sudden move movement. Holding my ribs, as I move away from Rhett, “shit I’m sorry, lie down, please just lie down,” Rhett puts a cushion behind me, and I lean back, “are you tired?” he asks.
I look at him for a moment, “are you tried?” I ask him, his eyes are bloodshot, not sure if that’s from no sleep or crying, but he needs to rest.
“No,” the harsh answer back takes me by surprise.
“Go to sleep Rhett, you look tired. I’m downstairs watching Christmas film, I recorded one the other day, go to bed.” I tell him, putting my hand out for him to give me the controller.
“I can watch the film with you,” he puts the controller in my hand, looking at me, I want him to go to sleep, “if I go to bed if I can go to sleep, when I come back down you will still be here right?” Rhett asks, but it's the pain behind the question that has me surprised, it’s a pain I’ve not heard from him before.
“Promise,” I tell him, Rhett stands up looks at me then kneels down in front of me, his finger strokes my lip and then moves to my neck, I wipe the tear from his cheek. “The past haunts us all, you get to choose where the future will take us,” I tell him bringing his face closer to mine so I can give him a kiss, softly putting his lips on mine he gives me a kiss.
“I love you so much sweetheart, and I can’t begin to tell you how much my life is in your hands, my life is you,” Rhett whispers against my lips.
“I love you too,” I tell him. Rhett gets up, and I hear him walking up the stairs, I really hope that he gets some sleep even if it’s just two hours, but he needs to sleep wake up fresh.
One thing I know from this happening to us, Rhett will tell me his past I know he will because he can’t let that happen again, the only thing I don’t know is when he will tell me. Before the fight or after the fight. I think he will tell me after the fight because he will use the rage and anger on Zach and there is a big part of me that wants the same thing too. I want him to hurt Zach in ways even Zach didn’t know would hurt him.
* * *
Terry sent me a message to remind me to take some painkillers, it took me ten minutes to get off the couch, every time I moved it hurt more than I thought it would. Before Rhett went to bed, I put an ice pack on my rib which helped ease the pain a little for me, but now that is all water. Walking into the kitchen, opening the freezer I fill the ice pack bag with more ice. I have no idea where the pain killers are kept, I’ll wait for Rhett.
I have wanted a shower since I woke up this morning, but I know that I’m going to need help with that, so I’m hoping Rhett is awake now, he has been sleeping for a while now. Slowly taking the stairs one at a time, closing my eyes as I take a deep breath in.
“What are you doing?” Opening my eyes I see Rhett walking down the stairs to me, “if you need something call me, and I would have gotten it for you,” Rhett says, there is anger in his tone, but not sure if it’s with me or still with himself.
“I want a shower, I was hoping you could help me,” I look over to him, putting his arm around my back, and helping me up the stairs, even though he's been sleeping, he still looks lost. Getting into the bedroom, I take a moment and sit on the bed, and watch Rhett taking out something for me to wear. “Rhett,” he stops in front of me, “I’m okay,” taking his hand in mine, “I promise I’m fine mentally, physically not so much, but I know that it wasn’t you,” I tell him, I need him to know that he has to move past this.
Rhett kneels in front of me, “If Jay…”
“But he was.” I stop Rhett from even finishing the last part of that sentence, I know things could have been a lot of worse, but if I keep thinking like that then this is going to get worse between us, and I really need him to see that too.
Rhett stays quiet, placing his head on my legs, my hands playing with his hair, I stay quiet for a moment, giving him time to talk when his ready.
“I’m sorry, I’m a million times sorry, and I know that will never be enough, but right now that is all I can give you,” Rhett says.
“And that is all I’m asking for right now,” I tell him, my voice is quiet, I don’t know why it is quiet, but I need him to focus on the fight with Zach, I can’t let this be the reason he loses. “Let’s have a shower,” I say.
“You really are the one for me,” standing up, helping me to stand, “I love you, there is no way I deserve you,” He says.
I look up at him smiling, “always by your side,” I whisper, bringing my hand to his cheek, “and never anywhere else.”
“Let's get you showered and freshened up,” taking my hand in his I follow him to the bathroom. Standing in front of me, his not seen the bruise yet, and I already know it’s going to bad for him to see. “Up,” he says, putting my arms up slowly, Rhett pulls my top off, hearing him clear his throat, pulling it over my head, I see his eyes on my ribs.
I think about what to talk to him about just to change the subject to something else, “Do you want to open our presents alone or with everyone?” I ask him, which makes him look up at me with a weird look.
“Why have you got me something kinky?” He asks making me laugh a little, but stop as it hurts, “I would like to open with everyone,” he says, walking to the shower to turn it on, “but if you want to open them alone that’s fine with me.” He says helping me in.
I turn to face him, as he takes his clothes off, and joins me, “we can open them together,” I say, Rhett holds me, as I place my hands on the wall, “can’t wait for you to open yours.” I give him half a smile because my body is getting tired just from walking up the stairs.
“After this, you are on the couch, and you're not moving,” Rhett demands, “if Terry lets me train tomorrow, then Jay is here all day,” Rhett tells me, and I look up at him shaking my head.
“If Jay had his way, he wouldn’t have left now,” I reply, closing my eyes to let the water move over my body, and it feels so good. I feel Rhett’s hand moving over my body, my hands not leaving his arms, just keep me standing.
“Yeah Jay, won’t be forgiving me in a while,” Rhett says, I know that upsets him, I mean it’s his best friend.
“He will, I bet you two will be fighting over some football thing before the end of the night….” I stop to take in some air, “Rhett, it’s starting to hurt standing up,” I tell him, my voice coming out shaky. Leaning my head on his chest, the shower stops, hearing the door open I move my head to see what Rhett is doing, he wraps a warm towel around me and softly picks me up and takes me to the bedroom, positioning me to sit, I hold the towel. “Terry messaged me, reminding me to take my pain killers, but I can’t find them.” I look at Rhett, walking over with my clothes, but he stops dead in his track.
“Sweetheart, that should have been the first thing you told me if you don’t take them that is going to hurt a lot, which by the looks on your face, it's very painful.” Rhett continues to walk over to me, and is not happy at all his face is straight dead straight.
“Sorry, I really needed a shower,” I whisper, as Rhett helps put on a pair of sweatpants on me, lifting my arms up, not all the way as I can’t Rhett puts on a loose sweater.
“Come on painkillers, and sleep if you can,” Rhett grabs two pillows off the bed, “these might help to lie on the couch,” taking me by the waist, he helps me walk down the stairs.
Pulling the blanket over me, Rhett walks over to the kitchen. Taking my phone off the table, a message from Emma.
Emma - Matt is a fucking ass.
Me - What happened?
Taking the glass of water and painkillers of Rhett, passing him the glass back, he sits on the couch and puts my legs over his.
Emma - He went out the other night, didn’t come home, and now one of his girl mates saying he slept with this girl that night.
Me - Do you think it’s true?
Emma - He said it’s a lie, but he’s, not the same as he was in Vegas, he's a different person here.
Me - I wish I was there, and I could tell you to come back home for a bit, to see what you want to do.
Emma - I don’t know what I want to do, I’ve picked extra shifts at work, so I don’t have to see him for a bit.
Me - Do you think that is a good idea? I mean you need to talk to him.
Emma - I’ve not seen him in nearly 2 days and not once has he tried to speak to me.
“What type of person is Matt?” I ask Rhett.
“Don’t really know him, only actually started talking to him since your best friend started dating him, why?” Rhett asks.
I look at Rhett for a moment, “do you have any friends that are fighters?” I ask him, I’ve never heard him talk about anyone, or really seen him hang out with them either.
“Not really, I know a few and talk to them if I see them, but don’t know them,” Rhett looks at me, “I don’t need people knowing my business,” Rhett says, and I wonder how much of his life is really out there, do I care? No, because that means my life will stay behind closed door too.
“Emma thinks Matt cheated on her, she has been at work for nearly two days, and he hasn’t tried to talk to her, or ask her why she hasn’t come home,” I tell him, and he makes a face at me, “what?” I ask him.
“Sweetheart, if you were at work for two days and hadn’t told me about it, I would be at your job asking what’s wrong. Not after two days either, if you didn’t come back home after your shift I would be phoning asking where you are…” He stops talking and looks back over to the TV, “I’m just saying.” He says, not looking back over at me.
Would Matt do something like this, I mean I know Emma has found it hard over there, and he has a lot of girl mates.
Me - What do you want to do? Stay there with him, or come back home?
Emma - I should be worth fighting for, and he’s not fighting for me, I’m at work until tomorrow afternoon, if he doesn’t come for me, then I’m not worth it for him.
It takes me a moment before I think of what to say back to her, I mean Rhett left Vegas and went back to England, but then came back. I know I'm the last person that should be giving her advice, but over time of being with Rhett I knew I wanted him, and now I know I’m willing to fight whatever comes in front of me to be with him.
Me - Call me if you need to talk.
Handing my phone to Rhett so he can put it on the table for me. Lying down, I hold the pillow close to my stomach, as I lean on my side, and try to go to sleep. It has been one long day, and I need to rest.