CHAPTER ELEVEN
CAILYN
Cailyn stretched, easing out the pain in her muscles. It seemed to be getting manageable now, but the day after seeing Drocco always hurt more than the rest of the days. And yet, she still looked forward to it. She bathed and prepared to leave her room. She had resolved to talk to the Mothers about the situation with Drocco and she wouldn’t stop harassing them until they agreed to stop exposing him to raw magic.
She left the room, heading to the Mothers lounge, but halfway there someone came up behind her, placed a hand on her waist, and steered her down a different corridor.
Before she could say anything, Victoya murmured in her ear, "It's just me, Cailyn. I need to take you somewhere now, just follow my lead."
Victoya led her down a route that she had not been before; it contained mostly meeting rooms and training rooms. They exited through a door on the side of the building that Cailyn didn't even know existed. Once outside, Victoya threw a cloak around Cailyn, and lifted the hood over her head covering her hair and hiding her face.
"Toya," Cailyn spluttered in surprise. "What is going on?"
Victoya ushered her forward and waited until they were walking casually across the compound before she spoke, her voice low and steadily in Cailyn’s ear. "Cailyn, many Omegas have witnessed your encounters with your Alpha."
Cailyn froze. "What?"
Victoya tugged her forward. "Many Omegas have seen you with your Alpha."
Cailyn remained rooted to the spot, disbelief filtering through her every pore. "What you mean seen me? What did they see?" she asked, her heart pounding loudly in her ears.
The sympathy in Victoya's face was all she needed to tell her that they had seen everything.
"No," Cailyn whispered, the embarrassment raging through her almost unbearable. She swallowed, trying to get a hold of herself. "How? How could they have seen us?"
Victoya pulled her again and this time she stumbled forward. "You were in an observation room, Cailyn. I know it must have felt like a bedroom, but it wasn't. It was a room made to be viewed."
At that Cailyn had nothing to say, in fact, she felt nauseous. The idea that her Omega sisters had seen everything that had transpired between her and Drocco was a violation that cut her to her core. Their matings were private, and many of her Omega sisters would never even have had sex with a man before let alone experience or witness any kind of the encounters she had with Drocco.
“How did they know about it?” she asked as Victoya angled left and led them into a different region. “How did they know to be there?”
Victoya glanced at her. “The Mothers.”
At that, Cailyn stopped again. "The Mothers? Why would they do that?" she cried. "Why would they embarrass me like that?"
Victoya urged her to move again. "You need to keep walking, Cailyn. You’re not supposed to have left the sanctuary."
Cailyn grabbed Victoya’s arm as she tried to keep herself steady and sucking in a breath. "Do you know why the Mothers would subject me and the other Omegas to that?"
"They have been trying to reinforce the idea to Omegas that Alphas are dangerous," Victoya explained, gripping Cailyn tighter and speeding up. "They have been taking Omegas to see your Alpha in his cell. They explain that Alphas are vicious and cold and use him as an example—he indeed seems so. And then they arranged for Omegas to see him attack you."
Cailyn thought back to the first time Drocco had entered the bedroom. She had thought that Mother Naysa had put her in the wrong room, but clearly, it had been planned all along. Her emotions jumbled and twisted until she was completely distraught. The Mothers had used her as an example to frighten Omegas and reinforce the idea that all Alphas were as terrifying as the ones from times past. And Drocco had indeed been terrifying the first time he had come into her room; in fact, he had been frightening every time he entered. She didn't even want to think about what he must be like in the cell. She sucked in deep breaths as her mind spun. She had been trying to convince the Mothers that Omegas could be reintroduced to the known Lands, while all along they were frightening Omegas with her Alpha. The more she thought about it the more anger blazed through her at the idea that other Omegas had seen him that way. It was a misrepresentation of who he really was.
"Where are we going?" she asked, as Victoya led them deeper into a quieter part of the manufacturing region, known for building items and equipment needed in the compound.
"The Omegas want to talk to you," Victoya responded.
"What about," Cailyn asked, almost scowling. "I'm not going to talk about the time between Drocco and I that was supposed to be private. They will never understand."
Victoya glanced at her. "They might," she said, her voice low. "Don’t judge them until you hear what they have to say."
Cailyn frowned, but before she could say anything else, Victoya pulled her into a warehouse.
The warehouses in the Omega Compound were far and few between but necessary in order to hold storage of some of the items that Omegas stockpiled. Victoya led Cailyn into the main hall area and she was shocked to see it filled with Omegas—over one hundred at least. She slowed, as all of their eyes turned to her and the chatter among them died.
"Come on, Cailyn," Victoya urged again, exasperated. "We don't have much time. The Mothers will soon realize how many of us are missing." She led Cailyn up onto the platform on one side of the hall and gestured for her to sit in a chair that had been placed at the front center. The Omegas gathered before the platform, a hushed silence coming over them.
"We don't have much time," Victoya called out. "Anything you want to ask Cailyn, ask quickly, and sit down so that you can all hear."
The Omegas all lowered to sit cross-legged on the floor, murmuring as they did so.
Cailyn looked over the sea of faces in amazement. She glanced at Victoya, who smiled back at her.
"Just answer their questions honestly," Victoya murmured, before sitting on the ground next to her chair.
Before Cailyn even had a chance to respond, one of the Omegas somewhere in the middle, piped up. "Is it true that the man who attacks you in the observation room is your Alpha?"
Cailyn stiffened slightly. "Yes, he is my Alpha, but no he does not attack me."
"Do you not suffer pain from the encounter?" came another question over to the right.
"No."
An Omega on the left, named Yera, stood up slowly. She was slightly younger than Cailyn, but had never been a spy and therefore had never left the compound. She worked in the manufacturing sector and was known for her quick thinking, smart mouth, and strict approach to her schedule and deadlines, although she was usually quite good-humored. She was well known and well liked across different regions.
"Please do not lie to us, Cailyn," she said sternly. "It is clear that you suffer during your encounters with your Alpha. He hurts you. He hits you and bruises you, and then pins you down and fucks you as though you are nothing but a hole for him to use. How can you say that you do not suffer? Why are you trying to fool us?"
Cailyn tried to ignore the heat burning her face, her annoyance too strong. "During the first encounter, he was rough, yes. He was suffering and I didn't know why. He couldn't talk to me and he could barely control himself. He needed to claim me and I was resisting."
"So is that how it is?" Yera asked, her voice hard. "If you resist, he makes you pay?"
"No," Cailyn shot at her. "He was at the mercy of his instincts. He couldn't control himself. He is not normally so out of control. The Mothers have done something to heighten his raw instincts and because of that he behaves in ways that he wouldn't normally."
"So his behavior was not normal?"
"No," Cailyn said. "His general behavior when he first comes into the room is not how he normally is."
"And what about during your mating," another Omega asked further back hesitantly. "Is he normally like that?"
"He is normally rough and controlling and dominating, yes," Cailyn responded. "But that is normal." She lowered her voice somewhat. "That is what I like."
A murmur went through the crowd. "You like that?" came a call from the far left near the back. "You like that rough treatment?"
Cailyn gathered her thoughts, aware that wherever she said next would affect their opinions of Alphas forever. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "When my Alpha first captured me, I tried to resist him. I tried to resist everything about him, but I couldn't. I find him highly attractive, and I desire everything that he is. I love his dominance—it makes me feel safe. In some ways he is in charge, he looks after me, he makes sure I get what I need. I have never once asked him for anything, and yet he gives me everything. He has looked after me physically, mentally, and emotionally since I have been with him. With the exception of the times when he treated me as a prisoner."
The Omega that still stood, Yera, narrowed her eyes. "He treated you like a prisoner? So the rumors that he tortured you are true?"
Cailyn nodded. "Yes, but you have to realize, he is an Alpha with a past and an Alpha who has never before encountered an Omega. There are things he knew to do instinctively for me, and other things that were a condition of his experiences of life. I do not blame him for that, although I once did."
Yera exhaled breath and shook her head. "I find it hard to believe that you, one of our best spies, has been taken in by this animal. That you are willing to be attacked frequently and regularly the most brutal way. It is disappointing."
"It’s not something that you can understand unless you experience it," Cailyn said. She thought for a moment. "Being with him is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had. It is unique, Yera. An irreplaceable feeling. He makes me feel safe and secure and there is nothing else that has made me feel that way in my life."
Another Omega stood on the other side of the crowd, a younger Omega who looked a little shy. "You look like you enjoy it to me," she said hesitantly. "But I want to ask… How do you calm him down? Especially the first time, he seemed to suddenly stop what he was doing and calm down. How did you do that?"
Cailyn smiled at her. "I purred for him."
Another murmur ran through the crowd.
"You purred for him?" Yera asked in surprise. "I wasn't aware that Omegas purr."
"I'm not sure how much you are told about Alphas," Cailyn said, addressing them all. "But as a spy, we learn that Omegas can purr for their Alphas if their Alphas are distressed. It is an instinctive thing. I have only ever done it before in my sleep, according to Drocco. I don't remember doing it. But this time I could feel that he needed it. He makes sure I get what I need, and I will do the same for him."
This time the murmur was much quieter.
“I saw him when arrived and he was being attacked,” said the younger Omega who was still standing. “He didn’t look dangerous then, he didn’t even attack the ones attacking him. He was just looking for you.”
Cailyn smiled at her. “He never stops looking. He comes for me always.” Tears sprung to her eyes as she realized the utter truth of that. Drocco has always looked for his Omega. She should have known he would come. She swallowed and blinked rapidly, willing herself not to cry at this important moment.
"Are all Alphas like him?" asked the younger Omega.
"I don't know," Cailyn admitted. "He seems to think that his warriors feel the same way that he does, but I only know about him."
"What do you mean?" Yera asked. "How does he feel?"
"He feels that Omegas belong with their Alphas," Cailyn said. "He feels that we suffer when we are not with them and that they can give us everything we need. He has since told me that I give him something too. Something he cannot get anywhere else, only with me."
"And you believe that?" Yera said, dryly. "How do you know he is telling the truth?" She turned to the crowd. "A freak accident caused him to find her, it is not unusual that he would want to keep her for himself by telling her these lies, no matter how swayed she is by their mating. She is pregnant by him, after all."
"It was no freak accident," Cailyn said sharply. "He is my true mate."
Yera turned back to Cailyn, her mouth open. "He is your true mate?"
"Yes. That is how he knew." She stood slowly. "I can see that some of you in here are spies and I know that you may have been told that I was found out through my own incompetence, a faulty block, but that is not the case. I was attracted to Drocco and he was attracted to me even though my blocks were firmly in place and working. When I questioned the Mothers about this, they reminded me that magical blocks are not that effective between true mates and that is why they did not seem to have worked."
"The Mothers would not lie," Yera snapped. "You had a faulty block and that is the only reason why you were captured. You should not try to scare our sisters who protect us out in the Lands with this false information."
"Why would I lie?" Cailyn shot at her. "There is no sense in me lying about any of this. I want our sisters to be safe when they go out into the Lands and be prepared for what may happen if they come across an Alpha who they feel the need to submit to. It could happen to anyone, and everyone should know."
"Why would the Mothers not warn us about this?" called an Omega from near the back.
"I don't know," Cailyn said, somewhat sternly. "It is something I have yet to question them about."
Another Omega, Taherah, got to her feet, and Cailyn recognized her as a spy. She trained before Cailyn and was a little older, though her specialisms were different. "Cailyn," she began, her voice soft. "You know I respect you, and look up to your skills and abilities as a spy. I have frequently considered you to be someone who is an inspiration to the rest of us. You are focused, dedicated, and extremely talented. Many of us aspire to be like you. But I also know that you were not ever one to take any assignment that involved sex or seduction. How do you know that this experience with your Alpha is different from any that you would have had with a Beta?"
Cailyn took a breath, a firm resolution building in her. "There are times that I have spent with my Alpha where I have been in complete bliss. Just being with him. It is not just about the mating. I feel different when I am with him, I feel like I am home. I cannot persuade you that it is any different from being with a Beta, when I have not been with a Beta, I can only tell you what I have experienced. And I'm telling you it is not as terrible as the Mothers make out. I believe that Alphas were once a threat, that they were once a serious danger to us in the past, but I truly don't believe they all are now."
Yera shook her head, though she said nothing.
Cailyn ignored her and addressed the whole crowd. "Why are you all here? What is it you really want to find out? Why you have gathered like this?" To gather such a number would have taken serious organization.
There was a silence.
Cailyn glanced at Victoya, who had sat on the stage quietly listening the whole time.
"The Mothers told us that we were to witness what Alphas were truly like," said an Omega near the front. "So we came to observe. We were horrified at what we saw at first, and then intrigued by the way in which you calmed him. After that, the Mothers banned us from visiting the observation room again."
"But by this time, we were intrigued," the Omega next to her said, picking up the story. "Not only of what we saw, but why we were banned from seeing it again."
The spy that had spoken before, Taherah, stood up again. "We felt it was an integral part of our learning to witness more. So we found a way to come back and watch."
Cailyn looked over the whole crowd. "You all watched?"
"We took turns to gather as many Omegas as we could," Taherah said after a moment.
Cailyn looked at Yera still standing. "You watched too?"
Yera averted her eyes as she nodded.
Cailyn tried to hold herself together. "What transpired between me and my Alpha was private," she said, trying to keep her voice steady when she really wanted to scream. "It was not training material or a learning exercise. He is my Alpha and my true mate, and he is suffering. I find it slightly morbid that you all found it appropriate to watch me in that state and that you kept coming back for more!"
"I understand that, Cailyn," Tareah said calmly. "But you have to understand it was our first time ever seeing an Alpha, and getting to see him with an Omega is something that we would never ever see again. There was something…" she paused for a moment, “compelling… in the way you were with him. Something that called to me that I had to see more of. I cannot explain it.”
“Nor I,” said another Omega at the front.
“Or I,” called another from the middle.
Many of the Omegas nodded and agreed.
“When you slept, he was gentle in his caressing of you,” continued Taherah slowly. “He looked at you as though…” She struggled for words and then finally shrugged. “I have never seen anything like it, and you know I take many seduction assignments.”
Cailyn nodded, heat seeping into her face.
“It was never intended to embarrass you,” Taherah added. “It was more about us. Once we knew you could handle yourself, it simply became about watching the two of you experience something fascinating. I know some us here might think it was brutal and cruel, but I found it… oddly beautiful.”
Nods rippled through the crowd again.
“And fucking sexy,” called another Omega at the back.
A titter of laughter sprinkled among the crowd and Cailyn couldn’t help but smile. She took a breath, pushing away the anger and lingering embarrassment that had threatened to overwhelm her.
“If you all chose to disobey the Mothers by returning to see me with Drocco," she said, "then you know that something is wrong."
At that, there was a silence.
"I don't know why the Mothers would lie to us," Yera said, although she sounded unsure this time. "There has to be a reason. They have kept us safe all this time."
"They have," Cailyn agreed. "But there is an entire generation of Alphas who have never known Omegas. Many of them desperately want to connect with their Omega. And I have to say, the Alpha/Omega connection is without equal. It's something I cannot even explain in words. It is something that I am willing to give up my memory of this place for."
Gasps and murmurs waved through the crowd.
"This is actually what the Mothers told me to pursue," Cailyn continued. "They told me I had to go and be with my Alpha, even when I didn’t want to."
"The Mothers told you to be with your Alpha?" an older Omega asked in shock as she rose to her feet. "They told you to leave the compound?"
"Yes," Cailyn said. "At that time I desperately didn’t want to go. I hadn’t accepted Drocco because I didn't understand him. They gave me advice that I followed in order to connect with him fully and told me that I had to return to him."
"Why?" Yera asked in disbelief. "Does that mean that if we find a true mate we would have to leave the compound?"
"I don't know," Cailyn said, pausing as she considered the suggestion. That could indeed be the case. She lifted her eyes to Yera again. "At the time I thought that maybe it was some kind of rule that I didn't understand. Now I'm not so sure. But I do know, that those of you who never leave the compound will never find your true mate."
Stunned silence followed her words.
Cailyn could tell by the glances exchanged that many of the Omegas were not happy with that idea. Even Yera seemed lost in thought, her brows pulled together.
Victoya rose to her feet. “I’m glad you got to speak to Cailyn about what you witnessed. I hope that your questions have been answered satisfactorily,” she said. “However, I’m highly disturbed by what I’ve heard. Cailyn is one of our own. Yes, she is a close sister to me, more so than many of you, and I am upset by what she has been through. But I’m even more disturbed by what I’m hearing of the Mothers. Even if you don’t believe half of what Cailyn has said about them, every single Omega in here has disobeyed them. Not only did you sneak into the observation room to watch Cailyn with her Alpha, but you are also all here without them knowing. You feel compelled to find out more even though you were told not to. Clearly, there is something strange here.”
The Omegas fidgeted, mellow murmuring beginning. Yera lowered her eyes and her shoulders dropped, clearly conflicted about what Victoya had said.
“I do not want to judge Cailyn’s Alpha before I truly know why the Mothers have taken the action that they have. I urge you to do the same.”
Yera lifted her eyes to meet Cailyn’s and nodded before lowering back down to the ground.
“Now, we need to all leave gradually,” Victoya said. “Those of you at the back go first, head away from the sector and then back through the nursery region before going on your way.”
The noise level rose as the Omegas got up and began to filter out.
Victoya turned to Cailyn. “I’m sorry to have put you through that without much preparation,” she said. “If I prepared you they would have been able to tell and I felt like you need a chance to tell your story fully.”
Cailyn exhaled breath. “No, thank you for arranging this, Victoya. I think it was definitely worthwhile, for them and for me.”
Victoya gave her a funny look. “What you mean?”
“There are some questions I have failed to follow through with the Mothers,” Cailyn said determinedly. “And I intend to address that now.”
"I'm coming with you," Victoya said firmly.
Cailyn slowed down, turning to her. "Victoya," she said slowly. "You have been very focused on this. You hardly smile any time I’ve seen you since I’ve been here. You were so serious and stern through that whole meeting, I barely recognize you. I know you care about me and what happened to me, but is there something more?"
Victoya held her gaze steady on Cailyn. "I have put the utmost faith in the Mothers, Cailyn," she said, her voice quiet. "I have undergone significant changes so that I could take missions for them. If they have not been telling us the whole truth, then I don't know how I can ever trust them again."
Her burning gaze pierced Cailyn, and Cailyn realized that she was deadly serious. And so she should be. If she had undergone any kind of dramatic change for the Mothers, especially any change that could be permanent, then she needed to know that it was for the right reasons. And if it wasn't, she had every right to be angry.
Cailyn nodded and began to head back to the Mothers’ sanctuary, Victoya in tow.