Rhett
I haven’t heard another word from Mo—not that night after I left her at Animal Haven or any other night leading up to my ride. It’s been almost a week, and I’m going out of my mind, wondering what she’s thinking and how she’s doing. Several times I’ve picked up the phone, wanting to hear her voice, but I can’t get myself to make the call. I miss her, more than I ever did when I left for Houston six years ago. How I went that many years without talking to her or seeing her beautiful face, I’ll never know. The dull ache in my chest is a constant reminder of how integrated into my life she’s become.
But I keep reminding myself: I told her exactly what I needed from her, so it’s up to her to come through.
By the time Friday night rolls around, it feels like an entire year has passed. My crew and I have worked around the clock, perfecting my movements and getting me comfortable on the bull again.
“You ready?” Dad claps my shoulder.
“Born ready.” I give him the same cocky grin I always do, and with Dad on one side and Linc on the other, we wind our way through the back pens.
“You scored an 89.87 on that last ride.” I punch Linc in the arm. “I’m proud of you, fucker.”
He grins but doesn’t say a word. He’s struggled the last few years, and he doesn’t like to talk about it. I make a mental note to celebrate his success tonight when we go out after the event.
If we go out after the event.
I had plans to celebrate with Mo, bringing her out with the guys, but if she doesn’t show up, I might be nursing a beer by myself in the hotel room.
Linc has offered several times to check and see if Mo is here, but I’ve refused. If she didn’t, I don’t want to know until the very last minute. That way I can channel all of the anger and pain into the ride. And if she did…well, that’ll just give me the reason I need to go out and do my best.
I survey the full stadium, purposefully looking away from where the riders’ guests sit. Like all the times before, I climb up the fence, swing my leg over, and position myself on the bull. Ruckus thrashes to the side, unhappy that I’m on his back. We wait for him to settle, and then I wrap my hand in the rope, take a deep breath, and look up. It only takes a second for my eyes to find Mo. She’s exactly where she should be—perched on the edge of her seat, her eyes wide, hands clasped beneath her chin—and my heart soars.
Seeing her in the stands, sitting with the rest of the wives and girlfriends, is all I need to get my adrenaline pumping. Whatever she’s decided about her future, I know it includes me. She stepped out of her comfort zone to be here tonight, and that tells me more than words ever could. Suddenly I’m like a caveman banging on his chest, desperate for his girl to see him succeed.
Her face lights up with a breathtaking smile, and I give the nod.
The gate opens, and Ruckus flings himself into the arena, twisting every which way, bucking and jostling my body from side to side, but I hold on.
It’s the longest eight seconds of my entire life, this first ride back, but finally the buzzer sounds. I release my hold, wait for the right moment, and jump off.
Ruckus flings himself around the stadium, kicking up dust, but my eyes aren’t on him, they’re on Mo. She’s jumping up and down, clapping, her hair a wild mess around her head, and I’m absolutely mesmerized.
“Rhett!”
I blink, jerking my head to the right just in time to jump over the fence before Ruckus rams his horn up my ass.
“Shit,” Linc laughs. “You got a death wish or what?”
“Or what.”
“What were you looking out at there?” Dad asks.
“Mo.” I grin.
Linc doesn’t.
Neither does Dad.
“You need to keep your head in the game, son. You can’t get distracted out there or you’ll get hurt.”
“I know that.” I’m laughing even though it’s not funny. I can’t help it. I’ve never been this happy. When I walk out of this arena tonight, I’ll be walking away with Mo—with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.
My next ride is similar to the first, only this time I’m on Bruiser, and he isn’t nearly as accommodating as Ruckus. His kick is higher, the twist faster, and I only make it seven seconds before I’m flung into the air.
I land on the unforgiving ground with a loud thud that feels like it echoes through the stadium. The force is enough to knock the wind right out of me, and it takes a second to catch my breath. Bruiser is corralled, and when I’m certain I can stand up without passing out, I get to my feet. My head spins, tilting the world to the left. I stumble, but Linc and Dad are there to catch me. Scanning the crowd, I find Mo. She’s standing up, one hand covering her heart, the other tucked tight against her stomach as though she’s keeping herself from being sick.
There’s not much I can do to ease her fear, so I tip my hat in her direction to show her I’m okay. I hope she understands. I can’t go to her or comfort her, and that kills me. I glance back at her several times as Linc and Dad lead me out of the arena. When I make it safely through the gate, she falls back into her seat.
I have a little time between rides, but I have to spend it getting checked out by the house doctor—which also pisses me off because I miss Linc’s final ride. When I get the all clear, it’s time to make my way back the chutes.
The third ride is much more like the first than the second. Demon kicks and spins, doing his best to throw me off, but I manage to hold on until the buzzer. When my feet are safely on the ground, I look for Mo, expecting her to be cheering along with the rest of the crowd. Except she isn’t. She’s sitting down while everyone around her hoots and hollers on their feet. Our eyes connect for a brief second before I’m dragged away.
“Awesome ride, brother. You are killing it tonight,” Linc says, guiding me through the back pens. When we hit the locker room, Dad stops.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“You good for a few minutes?” he asks, looking between me and Linc. “I’m gonna step out and call your mother, see how she’s doing.”
That’s odd. Dad doesn’t usually check in with her until the event is over, but whatever. “I’m good,” I assure him.
He nods and walks off. Linc and I go into the locker room and grab a drink while we watch a replay of my rides tonight.
“Can you pull up my last ride with Lucifer?” I ask.
“Sure can.”
Linc punches a few buttons, and I watch again as I’m thrown from the bull. This time, when I see myself lying on the ground, all I can think about is Mo hurdling over the bar and crying in Coop’s arms.
I close my eyes. “Turn it off.”
“I can’t believe you agreed to this,” Linc says. “You’re crazy, you know that? No man in his right mind would willingly get on Lucifer—especially again.”
I look up at him. “I have to.”
“You don’t.” Linc shakes his head.
“If you’re trying to prove something, forget about it,” he continues. “It isn’t worth your life. Did you see what happened to Rodriguez out there earlier tonight?”
“No, and don’t tell me. I’d rather not know.”
“It’s not too late to back out,” he offers.
“I’m not backing out.”
“Is this about the money? Because you don’t need the money.”
I’ll always need the money, but that’s not what this is about. “I need to do this for me.”
Linc takes a deep breath and looks around. When his eyes return to me, they’re full of spit and fire. “Then you better stay on that bull for the entire eight seconds. So help me God, if you don’t walk out of that arena, you’ll wish you’d never accepted this ride. For the first time since I met you, you’ve got something more than the bull and buckle to go home to, something to live and breathe for, and she’s a whole hell of a lot more important than conquering some bull.”
“I know.”
I realize that the bonus ride is a needless risk now that Mo is back in my life, but I have to do it anyway, for myself. Her showing up tonight is all I needed to confirm that she’s in this just as deep as I am, and I’m ready to walk away if that’s what we decide is best. But it’s a decision we’ll make together. I’m ready to hang up my rope and hat and help her chase her dream and our future, whatever that may be.
“I’m going to be fine,” I assure him.
“I sure as hell hope so. Come on, we’ve got to go get you ready.”
Five more guys ride, and then the bonus event is announced. The crowd goes wild, people rising into a standing ovation while I get myself into position on Lucifer. Slinging my leg over his back, I let it slide down his side. His eyes dart back, locking on mine, and it’s as if the damn bull remembers me. Thrashing to the left, he slams us against the gate. My crew lifts me up before he can crush my leg. He continues to thrash around for several seconds before finally settling down, and that’s when I realize my dad is still gone.
“Where’s my dad?” I holler to Linc.
He glances around and shrugs. “He’ll be here. Get yourself situated.”
It takes a little longer than normal to get my hand positioned in the rope. Adrenaline rushes through my veins, causing my arms and legs to tingle. I shake my free hand out, wiggling my fingers as though I’m warming up, and that’s when I realize it isn’t excitement that has me riled up. It’s fear.
In that moment, my whole life stops.
What if something happens? What if I get thrown off, kicked in the head, and have permanent brain damage? What if I never get to see Mo’s beautiful smile again, or hear her laugh?
What if I never get the chance to tell her I love her?
I can’t breathe.
I can’t speak.
All I can do is frantically search for Mo in the stands, because I need to see her. I need to know she’s still here.
“What’s wrong?”
I hear Dad’s voice behind me. I want to ask him where he went and what took him so long, but I can’t focus on anything but Mo.
“Where’s Mo? She isn’t in her seat.”
“Don’t worry about Mo,” he says. “She’s fine. You need to concentrate, because you’re about to ride this bull, and you have to focus on what you’re doing.”
I hear him. His words float around me, but they don’t register because all I can feel and think about is the incredible sense of dread weighing down my stomach.
“Come on, Rhett,” Linc hollers. “Snap out of it. They’ve already announced the ride. They’re waiting on you.”
I blink, searching the crowd one last time, and when I come up empty, I turn to Linc. “When I get off this bull, you better have a path clear for me to get straight out of this goddamn place, because I’m going after my girl.” I’ve got to find out why she left.
“Not sure you’ll have to go far, but okay.”
Tightening my grip on the rope, I lift my hand and nod.
Lucifer flies out of the gate with a frenzy only he’s capable of. The muscles of his back shift beneath my thighs as he bucks and thrashes around, tossing me from side to side. The roar of the crowd is deafening as I squeeze my thighs together, hell bent on staying on his back.
It feels like a lifetime, but the buzzer eventually sounds. The crowd goes wild, and in a not-so-graceful dismount, I fall to the ground. Lucifer jumps, charging for a rodeo clown as I scramble to my feet.