Dani

 

 

 

Something doesn't feel right.

Deep inside I know something is wrong.

I can't put my finger on it, but there's definitely something.

It's been a month since I was shot.

A month of waiting for my son to come home.

A month of waiting for Joel to finally turn up and kill me.

A month since Greg's ex-wife hung herself in her jail cell, putting an end to the case against her. I didn't like the woman, she shot me, hurt the man I love, but I never wished her dead. I guess she just couldn't get past what she'd done.

Plus, Daxton, when he told Greg what had happened with Maya – Keller, and Freddy were there, too – he explained all about her involvement with my ex-husband. I all but fell through the damn floor when he told us.

How small can this world be?

She ended up with my ex-husband and I ended up with hers.

There must have been more to it. I don't believe she accidentally bumped into him. There's a reason he sought her out. I just don't know what that is. Maybe I never will.

Greg didn't speak for hours. He just sat in the bedroom ignoring everyone. It hurt me because I felt like he was somehow blaming me. I wanted him to confide in me, to talk to me about how he was feeling, but he shut me out, and that hurt so much.

When he finally spoke to me, he told me that he blamed me for nothing, he loves me more than anything in this world. And it didn't really have much to do with the fact Maya hung herself, but he couldn't help being hurt by the fact his son turned out to be the son of my ex-husband. Of all the people in the world to be little Dean's father, it had to be Joel. A vile man, who does vile things. All Greg could think about was that beautiful little boy turning out just like Joel. It broke my heart to feel his pain. He still misses his son, because in Greg's heart, Dean will always be his son, and I know he will always feel that way.

I asked Greg if it would be too much for him when Alex finally comes home. Alex isn't Joel's son, but he's been with the man for a year, which means he's more than likely been with Dean too. Which means Alex will probably talk about Dean a lot. I don't want to cause Greg any pain, but I have to be with my son.

Greg held me tightly and told me that I never have to feel guilty for wanting my son home, for wanting him with us. Greg said that he'd never treat Alex like he didn't belong with us.

He used that word again. Us. And I loved him so much in that moment. No matter how he was feeling, he still wanted me to know that he would love my son like his own and nothing would stop him. We're going to be a family. The three of us. And nothing can take that away from us.

Greg moved in with me officially. We felt like it was the right thing for us. He'd been staying with me all the time anyway, so why not ask him to move in?

He's home for good after leaving Seattle to make Oak Springs his permanent home. He even decorated the spare bedroom for my son. Blue's and greens. It looks amazing, Alejandro – Alex – will love it. I know he will.

But we're walking on eggshells. Always wondering if today's the day Joel will walk through the door and end our lives. I can't sleep because of the fear of it all. When I do sleep, I wake screaming because of the nightmares that have suddenly started plaguing me again after all this time, but ones that seem to take over me all of a sudden.

Greg pretends everything is okay, but I can see that he's worried too. How could he not be? But he's strong for me. That's so unfair of me letting him be strong for both of us, but I'm at the end of my rope. It feels like this shit is never going to end. And I need it to end.

Greg never leaves my side, but he had no choice today. Callie called and asked if he could collect Todd and Robyn from school. Both she and Hudson are stuck at Donovan's appointment with a specialist.

Little Donovan is having trouble with his ears. Screaming in pain, not able to hear very well. The doctor thinks Donovan has a serious ear infection that could scar his inner ears, which could cause him to lose his hearing. We're all hopeful that won't be the case, but there's always the possibility.

Greg should have been back an hour ago. Or if he was going to be late, he should have called. He always calls. Not that he goes far without me for long. I don't understand what's going on or where he could be.

I understand that things happen to make people late, but I know Callie and Hudson are home now. I called and checked if Greg was there. He isn't. He dropped the kids off and left. An hour ago.

I sink down onto the couch with my hands in my hair. I feel sick. I can't even breathe properly because I can't slow my racing heart.

Where the hell could he be?

I bite my knuckles while rocking back and forth.

I feel like pulling my hair out!

I'm frustrated. Scared. Angry.

Frustrated because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Scared because anything could have happened to Greg if Joel caught up with him. Because I know Joel will know exactly who Greg is. He knows everything.

Especially since the man was sleeping with Greg's ex-wife, fathered a child with her, ruined Greg's life.

I still can't get my head around that at all. I don't know that I ever will.

And I'm angry because if I find out Greg just got caught up helping someone or shopping for something and didn't have the decency to call me so I didn't worry, then I'm going to slap the shit out of him!

I pace around the house, cleaning when the place doesn't need it, looking in cupboards for something to do. I do it for half an hour before I've finally had enough.

I grab my cell and call Daxton.

But he's not picking up either, and now I'm worried, scared to the point I'm crying in frustration. I don't know what's going on, but I can't sit here doing nothing. I have to get out there and look for my man.

What happens if I run into Joel?

I have no idea, but I'm not scared of him any longer. If he's going to kill me, then he'll kill me. But he best not think I'll go quietly. I won't go without a fight. He can count on that!

“Going somewhere.” My heart stops as I look at the man standing on the other side of my front door. I'd only just got it open to leave through it when his face popped in my vision.

The smirk on his face is something I have never forgotten. Something I will never forget.

“Not going to invite me in?”

Fuck no, I am not inviting him in!

I try slamming the door in his face, but in true Joel style he slams his hand across the door and forces it open. I stumble back, eyes still locked on my ex-husband as he walks through the door. Taking my eyes off this lunatic would be stupid. Trust me, I know.

I'm also not stupid. I noticed there was no one outside with him. Something he's never done, go anywhere alone. It's possible he has men stationed around the house, but it strikes me as odd that no one was with him. He always has a bodyguard with him. Usually, anyway.

I don't waste any time in pressing my panic ring. All it will look like to Joel is me touching the diamond on the rings band, nervous about what he could be about to do to me.

“Sit down, Alandra.”

I swallow and make my way to the den, walking backward. Never turn your back on Joel, he'll literally stab you in it.

I sit down on the couch and keep my eyes on him. He sits his ass down on my coffee table in front of me, and it's only now that I notice how old he actually looks. Joel used to be well-built with plenty of muscle. Looking at him right now, I see that he's not even half the size he once was. His face is gaunt and his eyes are sunken.

What the hell happened to him?

“How did you find me?” I'm scared right now, I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't, this man is a monster, after all. But I'm sick of letting him win. I won't let him think he can scare me into doing what he wants of me without a fight. I'm stronger than the woman he remembers.

“I never lost you, Alandra.” I narrow my eyes. What the hell does he mean by that? “You're not the only lying, cheating cunt in this town. I've had my eye on this place for a long time. I was biding my time before I took out the fucker who crossed me. Couldn't believe he was married to Maya's sister-in-law.”

He laughs to himself, eyes to the sky. I'm a little confused, but he can only be talking about Sonny, Freddy, or Tommy. But how he knows them is beyond me.

“He really thought he could get away with taking what was mine.”

“What are you talking about, Joel? You're not making any sense.”

I don't really care what he's talking about, but I need to keep him talking for as long as I can until Daxton arrives. He should be here any moment.

“Hudson Ryker.” What the hell? “You really don't remember him before you came here, do you?”

Should I?

I don't really know him much at all. He avoids me. Sure, we've spent time together in our friendship group, but he's never made a conscious effort to engage in conversation with me. Nor have I, to be honest.

“He used to be your bodyguard once upon a time.” I'm trying not to laugh out loud, but what he just said tickled me. Hudson was never my bodyguard. “You don't remember Rock?” Of course, I do. But I wouldn't know what the man looked like now if he stood right in front of my... Oh. My. God.

This can't be true. It's not possible.

But of course, it is. I never once looked at Rock. I was too scared to look at anyone back then. If I hadn't heard his voice once or twice I wouldn't even have known if he was male or female.

“He got away from me with something that belongs to me. My men tracked him to this pathetic little town. Found out he's got a family now. My men wanted to off him the second they found out he was here. I called them off, I wanted to observe him for a while, see what he'd do with the information he'd stolen.

“I worked out ways to make that fucker and his family pay for the shit he'd done. I met Maya, the insane bitch. Talked her into leavin' her husband, takin' his kid, passing it off as mine.” What? Is Dean not Joel's son?

Oh, my god. Is Dean really Greg's?

“Then, out of nowhere, after I'd taken your kid from you, you turn up here of all places.” He laughs maniacally. I swallow hard. This is the evil old fuck I remember. “I swear to Hades, the gods were lookin' down on me that day. So, I watched you. Watched you get close to Maya's ex. Fuck me, Alandra,” He laughs. “The world couldn't get any smaller! Maya found out and flipped her fuckin' lid. As much as she was an asset to me, and she was, she did some damn good work for me, more than you ever did, she was a loose cannon. Then I found out she'd come here to get her husband back, shot you and almost killed you, got herself arrested.

“I couldn't have that, Alandra. If anyone is to kill you it will be me. That bitch went out on her own and almost killed what's mine! Then the stupid whore,” He laughs to himself, and it's an evil, sadistic laugh. One that makes me cringe. “Followed in that fuckers footsteps and stole from me. A damn memory stick with too much information on it. Information that could end me.”

Good. I wish something would.

“I didn't know that when I sent the bitch here to kill Ryker. She was supposed to end him, but she shot you instead! There's no way I'd let that silly cunt get away with that!” Fuck, he's getting angrier. I blow out a scared breath through my lips, rubbing my hands down my legs to wipe off the sweat. “She knew I'd come for her. She knew she'd never get away with what she'd done. Killed her fuckin' self so she didn't have to face my wrath.

“I was ready to come bring you home, Alandra.” I flinch as he touches my face with his fingertips. I don't want his hand on me! “But then some motherfucker took Alex, and I know you know who that was.” He leans into me. I hold myself steady and don't move an inch away from him. Inside, I'm shaking like a damn leaf. “Who did you get to kill my people and take my son?”

“Your son? Are you actually insane? Alejandro is my son! You stole him from me. Did you really think I wouldn't take my child back?”

“Where is he, you bitch?!”

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I'm smiling like an idiot. Looking at him, face almost pressed against mine, all I see is an old man who's lost control of things. I don't give a shit what Hudson did against Joel. I don't care what he stole. I don't even care that he worked for Joel and probably did vile things on his orders. That's all in the past. He's a good man who loves his family. That's the man I know, that's the man I choose to believe in.

I don't care about the things Joel did to me in the past, it's all gone, not coming back. Something inside me tells me that Joel is here alone. I don't know how or why, but I also know I don't care. If he's going to kill me, then he'll have one hell of a fight on his hands. Joel is not the physically fit man I remember. He's not even as scary as I remember him being.

Something happened to this man, he's different. His body is failing him. He's ill, I can see it so clearly written all over his face.

“My son is somewhere safe, somewhere you'll never find him. If you've been watching me for as long as you say you have,” Which I don't believe for one second. If he'd really known where I was all this time, he would have struck before now. “You'll know he's not here. He won't be here until you are no longer a threat to us. If you want to kill me, Joel, then do it. Because I am done running from you. I'm done being afraid. Just do what you came here to do and get it over with.”

I get out of my seat and walk away from him and into the kitchen.

God, I feel so much stronger all of a sudden.

Maybe I'd been a little too brave. I definitely shouldn't have turned my back on him. The knife against my throat, his chest pressed against my back should tell me that. “You want to die, bitch?! Then you'll die right here, right now.”

Why did I ever think I was strong enough to walk away from this psycho?

I close my eyes and breathe deeply. There's no point in fighting a man with a blade to your neck, a blade that's cutting into my skin. If I move an inch, he'll cut me from ear to ear.

He'll do that anyway, Dani. You should have run while you had the chance.

But I didn't and now I'm going to die.

I only hope that Greg will take care of my baby boy for me.

I hope he finds his son, that someone knows the truth and bring Dean home to Greg.

I hope all three of them can be together.

I hope they know how much I love them now and for always.

I hope someone holds the man I love up and shows him how to move on from me.

I hope...