I don't know what the fuck just came over me.

What was I thinking, putting myself in a situation like that? A situation that I knew right from the moment I set eyes on another boy as impossibly sexy and naive as Gavin Delane, that something bad was going to take place.

And it did.

Thing is, Gavin is light years away from that shy kid who I'd pass by in my home and hardly even notice over the years. He must be a good 6’3”, maybe more. His innocent, crystal blue eyes kept screaming my name, sending the same message to my weak brain over and over again…

Teach me how to fuck, Daddy.

I hated the way he looked at me, the way his eyes made my stomach feel all weird inside.

And of course, the thing I hated the most is that he’s my son's really good friend they were riding on training wheels or something.

My son Jayson walks into the kitchen just as I grab a beer out from the fridge. He shoots me a look and says, “Really? 3:30 in the afternoon? I knew something was off with you today.”

I shoot him a look back. “It's almost happy hour and I’ve had a long week. And why am I answering to my son right now? It should be the other way around.”

He raises a suspicious brow and says, “”You always have long weeks. But I've never seen you drink beer in the middle of the day. In fact, I'm pretty sure those Sierra Nevada's have been there since March when you had that so-called assistant chick from your company over.”

I use the edge of my granite counter to pop open the cap to the beer bottle. “All the more reason, I wouldn’t want these beers to expire. You're good with details when you set your mind to it, must be the school work paying off."

Jayson’s eyes dart to the side for a split second as he takes a deep breath. ”What are you doing tonight, besides rescuing beers that are at risk for expiration?" he says, moving the subject in another direction.

Not that I mind. I was about to change it myself either way.

“I have some huge client deadlines coming up next week that I need to get ready for if I intend to retain those clients.”

My son grabs a sub roll and some turkey slices out of the fridge. “Some Friday night plan you have there, reminds me of Gavin's. You two are going to get along well,” he says sarcastically.

I reach into the fridge and grab the mayo, anticipating my son's next sandwich move. “You never told me he was going to be staying with us,” I finally say to him.

Jayson grabs a long bread knife from one of the cabinet drawers. “Yeah, I did. I texted you like two weeks ago. Check your phone.”

I shake my head and narrow my eyes. “No, I'd remember that.”

"What's the big deal either way? It’s not like you’re ever here,”  he says, slicing through the soft bread with the knife.

I open the jar of mayonnaise and hand it to him. “The big deal is that…” my voice trails off, and for the first time in a long time I can’t come up with a quick rationale to prove my point.

There is a moment of complete silence between us. My son and I lock eyes, and I simply say, “Tell him he can’t stay here. This conversation is over.”  Jayson flashes that familiar look of disappointment my way. Like I’ve let him down for the thousandth time.

He slides the plate of food away and shakes his head. “Are you for real?"

"Completely," I say, without further explanation.

I can’t take any chances, I think to myself.

"So much for paying it forward,” he says before walking out of the kitchen.

Ideally, I'd call after him and explain myself. Just enough to not push my son further away than I already have. But what am I going to say? “Oh yeah, by the way, Jayson, I’m gay and your friend has to leave because I almost kissed him in the pool earlier.”

How did shit get so complicated this weekend, so quickly? This is the last thing I need with everything I've got going on at work right now.

I make my way up to my bedroom, but as I walk past one of our guest rooms, I can hear my son talking to Gavin. I can't hear what he's saying, but it’s immediately clear from Gavin's tone that my son has already broken the news to him.

As I walk closer towards my own room, I find myself almost uncontrollably wanting to see him again…

Wanting to see the expression on his sweet, sexy face.

Wanting to tilt his chin upwards with my hand and tell him that he’ll be fine somewhere else… tell him I didn't have a choice.

My chest tightens and my cock feels all achy in my briefs, another sign that I'm doing the right thing here.

But I can't stop the massive wave of guilt that sweeps through me for kicking him out like this.

I walk into my bedroom, the master suite, and lock the door behind me. I head into my bathroom and strip down, completely naked, facing the vanity mirrors head on.

Inside, my body feels restless in a way that it's never felt before. Echoes of Gavin’s voice pulse through my mind.

I’m forced to have thoughts, ones that no grown man should ever be having about his own son's closest friend.

Someone fifteen years younger than me.

But the thoughts keep coming…

What would happen if Gavin was in here with me right now? Could I control myself?

What would I do if he was bent over this quartz countertop?

How would I not smear a bunch of lube on that tight, inexperienced little hole of his?

How would I not jam my fat cock in his body and make him beg for mercy?

I grumble to myself as I look down and see that my dick is now a full-blown erection. I turn the air vent on to drown out some noise, and then reach for some lotion to lube myself up. I watch myself in the mirror, stroking my dick slowly as I imagine its Gavin's tight bum strangling my cock.

Oh my god, I’m instantly about to come… another sure sign that this kid needs to get the fuck out of my house. If he’s already doing this to my insides, imagine the damage that would take place if I let him stay here as an overnight guest for the entire fucking summer?

I hear a door shut in the hallway, and the noise excites me into having one last dirty thought. I fantasize about Gavin walking into my bathroom, seeing me all naked, thinking he was just coming in to say goodbye and thank me for my effort. Then I imagine his eyes widening, his teeth biting down on his lip the moment he sees me, and then me tearing every article of clothing off his fit, young body.

I jerk off harder as thoughts of me fucking Gavin up against this sink drive my body, and my mind, crazy inside. I picture him reaching his head backward, and then me making out with him as I fuck him from behind.

This imaginary kiss pushes me over the edge as I start to shoot my load into my sink.

My body shutters as I try to recapture my breath and not collapse on the floor from the orgasm.

I take a shower to rinse the pool water off my body, and to calm myself down, fully expecting thoughts of Gavin to completely evaporate from my mind now that I’ve jerked off and got the release that I needed.

Problem is, I need something more. I don’t know what it is, but there’s still some vague, lingering feeling eating away at me.

Doesn't matter, I'm choosing to put him out of my mind for good now. Time to re-focus.

But somehow, the nerves in my stomach and the fact that my neck feels like it's on fire are telling me that re-focusing isn’t going to be easy.

I dry off and dab my neck with some cologne,  and then put on a crisp, blue dress shirt with a black sports coat and matching black dress pants.

I have three or four hours of work to do back in the office before my Friday night can really begin. Not that I will be having much of a Friday night. Lately, most of my social life has consisted of pouring through spreadsheets and emailing clients and stock analysts.

And I’m fine with that, whatever it takes to put bread on the table and be the absolute best wealth manager in my field here in Boston.

I head into my garage and decide to take my Tesla tonight. As I pull down my private drive, my stomach wrenches the moment I see him…

Gavin, bags in hand, is leaving my estate.

Why the fuck is he on foot? Does he have some place safe to go?

Suddenly, I feel another unfortunate wave of guilt. I feel other things too as I can’t help but look him up and down from behind, the way his athletic legs fill out his jeans, and the way his arms flex from the weight of his bags.

I feel trapped. I just want to punch the accelerator pedal and fly past him in my car without saying a final word to him, but I feel all torn up inside.

As I get even closer to him, and desperately try to persuade myself not to stop and talk to him at all costs, I feel an urge in my leg… as though my own body is fighting against me, trying to reach for the brake pedal.

Luckily, I’m able to fend off this ridiculous urge, but not without punishing myself by taking one last glance at Gavin out of the corner of my rearview mirror. And even as I drive further and further away from him, and the outline of his beautiful body gets smaller and smaller, his eyes look differently than they did back in the pool.

Damn, why do I even care? Why do I feel this painful ache in my chest, knowing that I just threw him out of my house, and wondering where he’ll go next?

This shit has to stop. I did the right thing, right?

I voice-activate the volume on my car radio to give my mind some sort of distraction. Lucky for my own sanity, Gavin is no longer in sight. And as I make my way back to my office, I power down the windows on this crisp, cloudless day and take in the smooth, quiet ride that only a luxury model electric car can provide.

Meanwhile, my mind is anything but quiet.

I pull into the underground parking garage at my building. I walk past the Whole Foods that's situated on the ground level of my office complex and immediately see a young man who’s similar in size and age to Gavin.

So much for attaining some semblance of sanity. I was only able to forget about him for all of five minutes. I quickly dart into a bathroom and splash some cold water on my face, desperate to wash away these thoughts from my mind….

Thoughts of him being lost. Wandering. Not being safe.

It’s official, I’m most likely sick.

Here I am, operating a company that manages billions in assets, and yet…

My train of thought is interrupted as one of the building's security guards, a retired veteran who never misses a beat, walks into the bathroom and looks at me as though there’s something wrong with me.

Which there is.

His eyes follow a trail of water that drips from the sides of my face onto the sink counter.

I check myself in the mirror, and suddenly feel like my own reflection is strangely not one I’m totally familiar with. I quickly grab some paper towels and dry my face off, and then smooth out my hair with my fingers. I straighten my tie and glare back confidently at the security guard to send him a non-verbal message… I’ll be just fine, thank you.

I make it to the top floor and then walk past my receptionist, Jessica, hoping that a simple nod will do. She holds out four or five sticky notes and starts to talk. “Your board meeting is still set for 6:15 today,” she says, handing me the notes.

“6:15, on a Friday?"

"That's when you scheduled it for, Mr. Dunn."

"I know, of course. Thanks, Jess," I say.

She hesitates and stands up tall in her tight, black dress. I catch her glancing at my chest as she hands me the notes.

She starts to talk, but before the first word can even leave her lips, I realize that Gavin’s back in my mind… his face is swirling around in my head, taking over, determined to destroy my concentration today.

I close my eyes for a brief second and take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, can you do me a favor? I'm dealing with a personal matter. A family matter. Can you make sure that I’m not interrupted so I can make a quick phone call?”

Jess nods, her baby doe eyes a bit wary. “Yes, Mr. Dunn. Absolutely,” she says.

I walk into my office and close my door. I sit down at my desk and think for a moment, knowing I’m starting to behave in ways that make almost no sense.

I try to stop myself from calling my son's cell, but my fingers seem to have a mind of their own as they grab my phone from my pocket and dial him up. “Jayson, it’s me.”

“Dad?” my son's voice says from the other end.

"How did it go with Gavin? Did he say anything?” I say.

Jesus, I need to settle my ass down.

“How do you think it went? I had to kick my best friend out of my own home. He has nowhere to go,” he says.

“What’s so wrong with his parents' house?" I say.     

“Everything’s wrong with his parents’ house right now. Why are you even asking these questions?”

“I saw him leaving…” my voice trails off, thoughts of Gavin walking down my long, winding driveway, travel bags in hand…

I vowed to stop picturing that scene of him in my mind.

“And?” Jayson says, the irritation in his voice building. I can’t say I blame him, he’s never seen me act this odd before.

And neither have I.

“And… if he’s not going back to his parents, where the hell is he going to sleep?” I say, realizing how ridiculous I sound the moment the words leave my mouth.

“Why do you care? This is so weird. One minute you tell me to get rid of him, the next you’re running a full-on investigation.”

“Where is he?" I snap.

There’s an awkward moment of silence, then he says, “Think he mentioned something about going to the Night Owl Brewing Company for a drink. I feel bad because I couldn’t meet him there, and he refused to meet up with me and some guys instead. That’s all I know.”

I find myself letting out a deep breath that I'd been holding onto. “Thanks, Jayson. I have to run to a meeting,” I say, lying through my teeth.

Sure, I have a meeting to go to, but not the kind that I get paid for.

I end the call with Jayson. Then I realize I still have one last chance, a chance to be reasonable and let this whole thing go before it gets any worse. But my mind is stirring, and my body feels disoriented.

I have to go find Gavin.

The worst part is, I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him when I do find him. I just know I need to find him. Need to make sure things are cool.

And that he’s safe.  

After acting like a lunatic and canceling tonight's meeting, I head downtown and find a parking spot two blocks down from the Night Owl. I take off my blazer and leave it in the backseat, and then roll up my sleeves. The sun is starting to set, but it's still warm as it hits the side of my face.

Or maybe it’s me. I’ve been running hot since the second I drove past Gavin in my driveway.

It doesn’t take me long to spot him as soon as I walk in., leaning his tight, sexy body back in some slick metal chair. His eyes are fixated on the wall of TVs above him, and he seems lost.

I can’t see the color in his eyes from here, but I don't have any trouble remembering exactly what they look like… how blue and perfect they are, with vibrant gold speckles scattered throughout those gorgeous circles. With eyes like that, it’s at least somewhat understandable how I got myself into trouble with him in the first place.

But right now, I promised myself I’d keep this meeting simple, and obsessing about how incredible his eyes are is anything but simple.

I’m here to make sure he’s okay, that he has a plan for the night. But as I start walking towards him, I can feel my whole fucking body start to lock up and my heart start to pound.

My whole I-came-here-to-do-a-simple-job plan is falling apart already.

I walk up behind him and wait for a moment as the server takes his empty glass. Gavin is young, no doubt. He is my son’s age, for fuck's sake, maybe a tad older if I recall. But as he thanks the server, his voice is deep and wise beyond his years, and I can't stand the way it tugs at my heartstrings every time.

“Do you think they can actually pull off a sixth Super Bowl ring?” I say, nodding towards the television that’s running a short piece on some new defensive back rookie who’s been traded to the Patriots. My palms are sweaty, and I honestly don't get it. I've closed deals with executive royalty before, talking to Gavin should be a piece of cake.

Gavin looks up at me, unflinching. There’s a twinge of bitterness in his eyes that wasn’t there before. He tries to play along and says, "They have the best attitude in the league. As long as Brady and Belichick are still around, they’re always going to be the best.” Then Gavin looks away, back towards the screen.

I feel super awkward but somehow manage to push through as I grab a seat next to him. ”Mind if I have a seat?" I ask, even though I'm already sitting.

He nods casually but refuses to take his eyes off the screen. The server brings back another beer for him and asks me what I want. “I’ll have what he’s having,” I say rather quickly.

I find myself unable to stop staring at Gavin, his incredibly handsome face drawing me in like a giant magnet. I need to get a fucking grip, fast.

But I still can’t wrap my head around one simple concept…

How did this kid grow up and turn into such a gorgeous man, practically overnight?

”True point,” I say.

Gavin looks at me, a distant and slightly puzzled expression on his face. He doesn’t say a word, looking back up at the screen as he draws the edge of his tall glass of beer to his pink, lush lips.

I can’t stop wondering what those lips would feel like with mine pressed up against them, bathing in their warmth and tasting their sweetness.

These are definitely not the thoughts I should be having right now.

With his body language still sending me a clear message, avoiding me altogether as he faces the screen, he finally turns his head just enough so he can lock eyes with mine. “Can I ask you a question, Mr. Dunn?" he says.

I don’t hesitate. ”Of course."

My chest tightens in anticipation. As though somehow, Gavin’s attention is the most important thing in my life right now. ”Did you come here on purpose?" he says.

“I do everything on purpose, Gavin."

He hints at a scoff and drains a third of his beer down his stubbly throat. ”I don’t doubt that," he says back to me.

I don’t know him from a hole in the wall, but I'd officially bet my life that he's agitated. Or, at the very least, he's stressed.

Either that, or he's just completely indifferent to me right now.

And for some reason, that last possibility is bothering me more than anything. I’d rather him be really pissed off at me than not give a shit about me.

“Maybe I should rephrase that," he says. "Why are you here right now, did I do something wrong?"

Jesus, why does everybody think they’re doing something wrong when they're around me?

“On the contrary. I came to tell you that you need to stay at my house,” I find myself slipping out.

Even though that was the complete opposite of my plan.

He raises both brows. “Are you serious right now? You just ordered Jayson to do your dirty work and throw my ass out. Now you’re here to revoke that order? Seems like an really fun game you’re playing, but I’m all set."

"No, you're not all set," I say. “And I’m not playing a game.”

"Actually, I am. I even spotted a really nice cardboard box on the way over here. Looks like it used to belong to a refrigerator, should be plenty big enough for at least the top half of my body tonight.”

Then he turns to face the TV screen again. I stupidly grab his arm, and the moment I do, my gut tightens and I know I'm making a huge mistake. I can feel tiny little flames scurry down my neck. He looks down at my hand and swallows hard.

I just went too far, no question. What the hell am I doing putting my hands on this kid?.

Even more importantly, why is my hand is still on his arm?

“You’re staying at my house, Gavin. It’s not a game, and I’m not asking you.”

Gavin’s cheeks quickly turn from tan to red. My heart is pounding way too fast, so I quickly release his arm.

Best decision I’ve made all day.

I lean back in my chair as the server comes over with my beer. Now the two of us are looking directly at the TV above as he says, “Just a reminder, I'm not actually your son. I think that maybe you’re getting a tiny bit confused.”

I shake my head slowly. “Not confused at all. Obviously, you need someone to keep you on track, make sure you don’t get hurt. Make sure you don’t sleep in any cardboard boxes.”

I can see his head turn to face me through my peripheral vision. I turn to meet him head on, our eyes at a dead standstill with each other. "I need to go. I'm meeting some friends," he says.

I look down at his beer, the one that's still almost completely full. Luckily, I'm calm enough on the outside to make sure that I don’t grab his arm again. But on the inside, my heart is still pounding and my stomach won’t stop doing flips.

I know he's lying about meeting up with other people, not that he doesn’t have every right to end this conversation with me.

But the worst part of it all, I don't think I can let him end it.

“So we’re cool? You know the drill?” I say, my eyes accidentally glancing over at his lips.  

He shifts nervously in his seat. I swear he’s reacting to the way I’m looking at him in more than just a nervous sort of way.

But he's straight.

And too young for me.

And for some reason I keep seeming to forget both of those facts.

I manage to forget these two basic facts again, my thoughts drifting off to ridiculous, forbidden places…

Like how my cock is aching really badly to be inside of him. And the way I’d practically kill to see him naked right now. And how I want to taste his mouth with my tongue and explore every part of his flesh with my bare hands.

I’m also noticing the way I’m losing my fucking mind.

”Thanks for the company. It can get a little lonely trying to rebuild my life. But I'm good,” he says. He gets up from his chair abruptly, grabs his beer to take one more sip, and then puts it back down. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a crumbled up twenty-dollar bill.

I hold out my hand to stop him. “I’m paying. And you’re welcome.”

“I didn’t ask you to pay. I don't need you to pay."

I shake my head as I reach for my money clip in my pocket. “No, I mean you’re welcome for the company.”

Gavin flashes a tiny smile. “Fine, you can pay. Now we’re even,” he says.

I throw down a crisp fifty-dollar bill. “Even?”

“You get to feel released from your guilt by me letting you pay for my beer.”

He starts to leave but I stand in his way. “I think you’re mixed up. I don’t feel guilty, and you’re not letting me do anything.”

He tries to walk around me, but I step to the side and block him again. This time, we're extremely close, as close as we were in the pool.

As close as we were when I almost kissed him.

“Then why did you go through so much effort to hunt me down like this?”

“It wasn’t so much effort. I asked my son where you were. He told me. I drove down here. Simple stuff.”

"Simple stuff. Great, I’ll take your word for it. Now, can I leave?”

I step to the side and make room for him to pass. I hold out my hand and try to sound as nonchalant as possible as I say, “Of course, by all means.”

We lock eyes again, neither one of us saying a word. Gavin shrugs his shoulders awkwardly. ”This doesn't feel like simple stuff, but whatever. Thanks again for the beer.”

He starts to walk away, and at first, I turn to face the table so that I don’t have to look at him anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s the total opposite… the more I look at him, the more I tend to do and say stupid things.

I hear the sound of the brewery's doors swinging open, and then something inside of me snaps.

I try to talk myself off the ledge…

Keep your shit together. Let him go. Be a normal fucking person right now.

But no amount of self-talk in the world is going to stop me from doing the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, which is going after my son's friend right now.

I walk out through the front doors of the brewery, my pace way quicker than usual for me, and then I look in every possible direction in order to track him down. I quickly spot him across the street, and follow right after him, hardly checking before I cross the street to make sure I don't get smashed by a truck or whatnot.

“Gavin! Hold up a second!” I call after him.

He drops his bags and turns to face me. His stylish, short brown hair, and his electric blue eyes nearly stun me every time, as though I hadn’t just seen him only moments ago. But right now, there’s no expression on his face. And I can’t say I blame him at this point.

”I can’t let you leave without resolving this. You have nowhere to go," I say. Several mobs of people walk past us. Longing for privacy, I reach down and pick up his bags.

“What the hell are you doing?” he says.

I turn and start to walk away with the bags. I stop for a second to face him and say, “I’ll take your stuff back with me. Since you’re being so difficult, at least this will ensure that you'll come back to my place.”

Great, now I’m controlling on top of crazy.

I go to leave again but only make it a few steps before I feel resistance tugging at one of the straps on his bag. I swear it’s not intentional, but I pull back on the bag, and the two of us lose our balance. I drop the bags and we stumble into each other’s arms, Gavin stumbling more so than me.

I regain my footing, and then find my hands instantly wrapped around his waist in order to stabilize him and stop him from falling. My heart immediately feels like it just went up in flames. My pulse starts to race and my cock reacts in ways I should be ashamed of.

Gavin is staring right at me, his sinful blues narrow but curious. More open than they were just moments ago.

I realize that my hands are still on his waist, and more importantly, that he hasn’t moved yet. I can’t ignore the fact that he hasn't punched me in the face for putting my hands on him for a second time in one day.

He can’t be straight. He just can’t be.

He looks down at my hands and I expect him to move away from me. Then he looks back up at me with those unbeatable eyes, only now he’s gritting his teeth just slightly and shaking his head. His eyes are wide, and I swear, he’s not gritting his teeth out of anger right now, because he’s almost definitely looking at me with a flames of desire.

The animal in me snaps, and before I can talk some sense into myself, I grab both of his bags and throw them over one shoulder. I lead him by his wrist, quickly pulling him into a random office building entryway.

Inside the building, there are glass doors to the right of us which lead to a coffee shop, and a set of concrete stairs directly in front of us which leads to a bunch of random businesses.

Then I look down and spot a small set of stairs which leads to some public restrooms.

I turn and face him, the heat in my face and neck almost too much to stand. I stop myself from swallowing, determined to stay in some sort of control here.

If that's even possible anymore.

I have no fucking idea what I’m doing right now. The only thing I do know is that he hasn’t run away screaming yet.

“Wait, what's your plan here?” he says, for the first time resisting my need to pull him towards god-only-knows-where.

I stop and look at him, making note of the random hipsters and wannabe business people sipping their coffee off in the distance, on the other side of the glass doors. “I have to go the bathroom,” I say.

“And you want me to come with you?” he asks. “That doesn't seem like a great plan if you ask me."

I hold back a grin and shrug my shoulders. “I didn't ask you, and we never finished our conversation. Come on,” I order him.

I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad one, but he’s fully complying with me now. I pull him down the small set of stairs and into a small, dark hallway.

I drop the bags, setting off a loud thud on the cold brown tiles. “Mr. Dunn, this is really-"

I put my hand on his lips, stopping him before he can finish his sentence. “Shhh. You don’t need to worry right now, Gavin,” I say in a low, raspy voice.

His eyes nearly bug out of their sockets.

I can feel my own eyes dilating like mad. Something inside of me has gotten irreversibly triggered.

Our eyes connect, the two of us breathing as though we just came in from a long run. “I know I’m probably off-base here, but you look like you’re going to kiss me,” he says, his voice slightly trembling.

I inch towards him. I can smell a heady mix of chlorine and salt that’s coming through the pores of the skin on his neck. “I’m not,” I lie, hoping somehow that making this declaration will alter my desires in some way.

Gavin's shoulders drop and he relaxes his hands down to his waist. He swallows, and my eyes get caught in the mire of watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down. He squints and says, “Then what now?”

I tug at my shirt collar, trying to breathe some air into my neck before it burns up completely. “Fuck it, then this now," I say, suddenly leaning into kiss him and losing all sense of the fact that we’re in a public place right now.

And that I’m about to kiss little Gavin Delane who’s not so little anymore.

I move my lips further towards his irresistible mouth, but just before I kiss him, the two of us stare deeply into each other’s eyes. My body feels electric inside, along with a heavy dose of jitters that I’m not accustomed to during a hookup.

And it’s not just because he's fifteen years younger than me, or that he’s Jayson's friend...

There's something more going on here, something I can’t quite grasp for the life of me.

”I think this is a really, really bad idea," he practically whispers.

“I think you're right. So what should we do about that?" I say back to him, my lips only millimeters from his.

We pause, but it’s more like a calm before the storm. I can sense something’s about to explode, and before either one of us can stop it, the two of us are locking lips.

His mouth is sweet and so fucking delicious, and he’s already by far the best kisser I’ve ever had.

Our mouths stay locked as we stumble towards the wall behind him, the front of my body now pressing into his crotch. I can feel his cock, fully hard in his pants and poking up against me. “Fuck, you're already so damn hard,” I rasp.

I pull back, nibbling on his lip with my teeth.  He stares at me with so much intensity I can hardly take it. “It’s not my fault. I’ve never done anything like this before,” he says in between heavy breaths.

“I know, Gavin. I hear you.”

He arches his head back slightly, his shoulders tensing for a brief moment. “Then maybe we should stop, before-"

I cut him off. “Too late now, Gavin,” I say as I grab the bulge in his pants. “That ship sailed the moment you let me kiss you.”

He swallows and nods his head up and down, his blue eyes engulfed by so much lust.

And large, hard-to-detect shadows of doubt.

I move in to kiss him again, this time with absolutely no plans of stopping. As bad as it is that I crossed this line, I know that I’m not coming back until I finish exploring whatever this insane attraction is all about.

Gavin pushes my shoulders away slightly. “You’re not my fucking father, and you definitely don’t get to make all the calls,” he says.

I grab his wrist and slide my fingers up his arm. "Maybe that’s your problem. Maybe you need a new daddy to keep you in line," I say, my cock throbbing and my heart pounding like a drum.

"What do you care whether or not I stay in line?"

I press my thumb down onto his lower lip. “Maybe I just refuse to let good things go to waste.”

“So you think you can save me, Daddy. Is that it?”

Oh my god. Did he just call me that?

“It’s kind of obvious, don’t you think? The fact that you need saving is staring me right in the face,” I say, glancing down at the bulge in his pants.

Gavin swallows, throwing up his hands in a sign of surrender. I caress the side of his cheek with my thumb and start kissing him again.

My own body aches with so much need as we kiss, but I’m determined to take good care of him and go at the right pace.

I reach my hand into his pants and grab onto his lengthy cock. It’s thick, almost as thick as mine, but equally long. His balls feel so smooth, not a hair on them. I cup his balls in my hand as I taste his wet, amazing tongue.

Then I start to jerk him off in his briefs. We kiss faster and harder, and I rub my hand up and down his hard, smooth boner. My hand movements become quicker and quicker, and I can’t resist myself from sliding my other hand into the back of his underwear.

I almost gasp as I grab his tight, muscular ass. I do everything in my power not to rip his fucking clothes off in this public hallway. But it’s not fair… the way I feel around him renders me borderline maniacal.

Gavin reaches down and undoes the button on his pants. “That’s a little risky to do right out here, don’t you think?” I say to him.

He thrusts his hips towards mine and says, “Too risky for you, Daddy?”

Again, with the not fair stuff.

Him calling me Daddy twice forces me to lose whatever crumb of control I had left in me. I pull the warm, pink head of his cock out of his underwear and stroke his shaft faster than humanly possible. Then I let my other hand wander, my fingertip finding the edge of his fresh asshole. I toy with his hole, sticking my finger in it just slightly.

He moans and scrambles to pull his underwear and pants down just a bit further. By the grace of some higher power, I stop him from pulling his pants down too far. “Easy, kid. I can protect you, but I’m not a miracle worker.”

I look back at the restroom door. I nod to the door. “Hurry,” I say, leading him by his wrist into the bathroom. The two of us claw at each other like hungry beasts, and then stumble into an old bathroom stall.

His eyes are drunken with lust. “Strip down, Gavin,” I order.

He shakes his head, his wide eyes showing as much disbelief as I’m feeling right now. But then he strips for me anyway, totally naked within moments. I saw most of his body in the pool, but seeing him fully unclothed in here is causing my breath to get cemented in my chest.

His lean, v-shaped torso leads straight into his perfect cock. I’m so turned on, I can barely move. I reach for his stiff cock and savor the warm, throbbing feeling of it in my palm again. My balls tighten as I squeeze his shaft, and I find myself with an unspeakable thought haunting my mind…

I’ve never wanted someone more than I want Gavin Delane.

As if Gavin is feeding off my desire, he leans back into the warped metal bathroom stall. I dip my finger into his ass again as I jerk him off. His young, muscular body starts to buck wildly. I feel warm globs of come land on my forearm. I look down and smile to myself, knowing how ridiculously responsive he is to my touch.

I step back and give him space as he tries to recover his breath. He looks down at the come on my arm and then steps towards me. I thought I’d had him pegged, but the second he swipes the warm come with his hand and starts to use it as lube to stroke me off, I realize that I might be just a little in over my head with him.

“I want to make you come now, Daddy,” he whispers in my ear.

Tiny little hairs on the back of my neck, hairs I didn’t even know I had, shoot straight up. “You seem like you really know what you’re doing,” I mumble in between deep moans.

“You have no idea,” he says back to me. “I’m young, but I’m not inexperienced.”

I look down at him, our eyes locked in. “I can see that,” I say, a tiny part of me jealous at the thought of him doing this with other guys.

Grow up, psycho.

But the moment we start making out again as he masturbates me in this stall, the jealousy evaporates.

I startle as the bathroom door suddenly swings open and someone walks in. We both freeze up, and then quietly back up against the wall. Gavin starts to stroke me slowly, his hand squeezing my throbbing cock with the perfect amount of pressure.

Whoever’s in the bathroom right now just cranked the sink water on, full blast. I let out a deep breath that I’d been holding in as the running water continues to pound the porcelain sink. This close call is yet another reminder…

What the fuck am I doing right now?

I hear the sound of the bathroom door closing as the stranger leaves. Relief sets in. “I want you to show me how good you really are,” I say back to Gavin.

His eyes flicker as he drops to his knees and kneels before me. He grabs my shaft with both hands and starts blowing me, draining the will power right out of me. “Christ, Gavin,” I mutter, pushing my cock into his mouth. “You shouldn’t be doing this,” I say.

He tilts my cock so that it points straight up, and then he drags his tongue across my balls, stopping to suck them in his warm mouth before he starts blowing me again.

Every cell in my body feels like it’s hooked up to a generator. Heat fills my chest and butterflies swirl around in my stomach as Gavin licks the head of my cock like a lolipop. It’s not like this is my first time getting blown or anything, far from it, but it feels completely different on every possible level.

I try my best to brace myself on the slippery stall behind me as he takes me all the way into his mouth. My tip reaches so far forward that it nudges the back of his throat every time he swallows my head. Gavin looks up at me, his eyes now dark and hungrier than any eyes I’ve ever looked into.

And something about the way he wants to satisfy me right now, the way he looks when he’s down on his knees, like he’s all mine…

I can’t take another second as I start to unload my come. I go to pull out, thinking that he’s not into swallowing, but instead Gavin grabs my ass and stops me from pulling away. I surrender, happily, and come hard down his deep throat.

I pull out when I’m done, and some of the come trickles onto his lip. Gavin wipes the come off his lip and flashes a grin so damn sexy I feel like I could get come all over again.

We look at each other, both of us clearly unsure of whatever the hell it was that just went down right now.

The two of us make our way out of the stall and head towards the sinks. I start to splash some water on my face, not that it’ll help calm me down much. I look at Gavin in the mirror; his cheeks are burning red still, all hot from our hookup.

I reach for a paper towel, but there are none in my dispenser. I’m forced to reach across Gavin’s sink to grab one, and I find myself using my other hand to run it softly down his lower back, over the top of his ass.

I struggle to get the paper towel out. Gavin smiles and helps me, ripping the paper towel from the dispenser and handing it to me. Our eyes meet, and stupidly, I’m about to kiss him again. Then I hear voices, loud voices out in the hallway.

I pull away from him and look in the mirror quickly to make sure that I look, well, like I didn’t just hook up with a 22-year-old. I catch Gavin staring at me through the mirror. His eyes move towards my hands that are now adjusting the crisp, white collar on my dress shirt. “Back to business?” he half-jokes.

"I think that would be the smart choice. Don’t you?” I say, winking at him. Then I start to walk away, knowing I need to get the fuck out of this bathroom.

“It really depends…” he starts to say, his voice trailing off the moment he realizes I’m in a massive hurry to leave this public bathroom. I feel bad, but can’t look back as I reach for the door and go to leave. Gavin is close behind me, right where part of me wants him to be… close and behind me.

I need to break this habit and break it fast.

A loud, almost intrusive-sounding voice startles me and breaks me from my trance. “Cole Dunn, I thought you only pissed in gold urinals,” the voice says to me.

My heart starts to pound, I feel like I just got caught robbing a bank. I look up and see Darren McAlester, one of my wealthiest clients. I force a small chuckle and say, “I should be saying the same thing to you, Darren. We didn’t double your portfolio for nothing now, did we?”

My client’s gaze shifts quickly to Gavin as he clears his throat.

“Oh right, this is my son’s friend, Gavin. Gavin, one of my clients, Darren McAlester.” I watch closely as my client shakes Gavin’s hand, not a clue in the world that the same hand he’s shaking just jerked me off in the bathroom.

What if he’d come into the bathroom when we were in the stall? The thought alone makes me want to vomit. This is a stark reminder of how stupid I just acted. “Nice to meet you, Gavin. I take it you’re getting the grand tour?” my client says.

I’ll say, I think to myself.

Gavin smiles and offers my client a respectful nod, but I can tell he’s faking it. “Yes, something like that. I grew up here, so I know most of the good spots. But I had no idea a bathroom this amazing ever existed in Boston,” Gavin says sarcastically, drawing a hefty laugh from my client.

“Very true, kid,” McAlester says, shifting his attention back over to me. I liked it better when Darren wasn’t looking at me; I feel like I’m crawling in my skin right now.

Darren’s eyes narrow. He raises his briefcase slightly to emphasize his next point. “I’m doing a wine tasting event this Friday, Cole. You should come by. I know you’re still single, which I still can’t figure out. But there will be plenty of women there, and I promise some of them will be in your league,” he says. He turns to look at Gavin and throws him a wink.

I nod my head up and down, adding a hearty grin for added effect. I feel like an asshole going along with this, but I don’t have a choice. “I do like wine, Darren.”

“And we all know you like women,” my client says. “I happen to know firsthand that they like you too.”

I swallow hard in my throat but hide my excruciating discomfort with a broad smile. I press my lips together and nod as though there’s nothing I’d rather do more than go to one more wine tasting party where I pretend to be straight. ”Well then, sounds like a plan," I say.

Like a terrible plan, that is.

I can’t even look at Gavin right now. My client and I shake hands and say our goodbyes. The moment he leaves, I find myself walking towards the door to leave this building.

“Um, hello? Where the hell are you going?” Gavin says.

“We’re done going to the bathroom, aren't we?" I say, trying to make light of our awkward situation. But I can see that look in his eyes, and I can tell my shitty attempt at humor right now isn’t working.

“Please tell me you weren't seriously just going to leave without saying anything to me,” he says.

I turn and face him, the beauty in his blue eyes and the moist, pink color of his lips distracting me for a moment. “I was going to say goodbye. I’m not a total asshole, just busy.”

Gavin raises both of his brows. “Of course, you're busy now. You weren't busy four minutes ago in the bathroom stall when I was blowing you, but I get it."

I grab his arm and take him back inside the building. I plant my thumb on the side of his cheek and kiss his lips one last time. My chest starts to ache knowing this is all about to end.

Why am I being so ridiculous?

“There’s nothing to get, Gavin. That was a lot of fun we just had, no doubt. But we shouldn’t have done that. We both know it. Are you going to tell me otherwise?”

After a brief stare-down, he gives a light shrug of the shoulders. “No, I guess I’m not. You’re right.”

I know he doesn’t fully mean what he’s saying, but it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that I fucked up. I put myself in this situation. I let my vices get the best of me. And now it needs to end.

Granted, it wasn’t all my fault. I’ve never been so attracted to anyone before. I honestly don’t know what it is about him…

But I obviously take full responsibility. And now, I just need to make sure that something like this doesn’t ever happen again.

I’m in control here, right?

“Look, we both know things got out of hand here, but it’s fine. Just make yourself at home at my place for as long as you need, and I’ll keep my hands to myself from now on,” I say.

Gavin’s eyes lighten and he flashes a small, albeit highly fake smile. He clasps his hands behind his back. “And I promise to do the same.”

I nod and say, “There’s only one problem with that.”

I pretend to be deadly serious as I stare him down. “What?” he asks.

“We can’t make a deal if we can't shake on it. And we can't shake on it if your hands are locked behind your back."

His tan, gorgeous eyelids flutter as he reaches his hand out to shake mine. We join hands, and a massive charge of energy shoots up my arm. I do the right thing and ignore the feeling in my body as we shake. He slings his bags over his shoulder and says, “See you back at your place, Mr. Dunn.”

I want to correct him at first, even though I know he’s being sarcastic for the most part, but I decide it might be better to just let things be. “Sounds good. I’ve got some things to take care of at my office, but help yourself to whatever you need. I know you’re in a tough spot,” I say, suddenly sounding more like his school counselor than the man who just came way too close to fucking his brains out in a bathroom stall.

Gavin’s cheeks burn red as he turns to walk away. “Thanks, I appreciate that.” I watch as he leaves, my eyes unable to resist looking him over from head to toe as he makes his way down Commonwealth Avenue.

I shake my head in disbelief, wondering what the fuck just happened, but feeling thankful that it’s over… before any permanent damage was done.

The havoc that would have been wreaked if the wrong people ever found out.

I rush back to my office and try to compensate for the work I missed, including the meeting with the Board. I quickly send out an email to the Board, bullshitting that I had some family emergency to tend to. I’ve never cancelled a meeting like this before in my life, but it’s rattling just knowing how quickly shit can spiral.

And as I pour through a bunch of client financial portfolios for the next two hours, I’m even more rattled knowing that no matter how hard I try, I can’t get Gavin out of my fucking head.

Too many firsts for one day.

I need to make an adjustment.

And fast.