I could feel Beth’s heart breaking as I rode away. Because mine was breaking too. She deserved better. She deserved a life where she didn’t have to look over her shoulder every minute. I’d blamed my brother for hurting her and letting his world touch her. Now I’d done the same damn thing.

Milo Higgins. I would kill him when I had the chance. He’d touched Beth. He’d been in her fucking house! My fingers trembled around my handlebars and I wished I had them wrapped around Milo’s skinny neck.

I don’t know how fast I rode, but I made Port Az in record time. The lot was almost empty. Rufus didn’t come tearing around the side. Mama Bear’s car was gone too. It meant Bear had probably sent her away long term. He would have had to damn near knock her over the head to get her to go. It meant he thought shit was grave. I just hoped with the dust-up at Woody’s they’d leave Beth out of it for now. It was one of the many things I had to run by Bear.

He was waiting for me in his office. His eyes blazed with anger as I shut the door behind me.

“You answer your fucking phone, Deacon!” he yelled. “Goddammit.”

I stood before him. There was no use making a single excuse. He was right to tear my head off. “I know,” I said. “I’m sorry. I had to make sure Beth was okay. Some shit happened.”

Bear leaned far back in his chair. The fury in his eyes hadn’t lessened, but at least he didn’t look like he was about to throw a punch at me. I’d take that as progress. “Well?”

“Somebody got to her,” I said. “Milo Higgins paid her a visit a couple of nights ago.”

“Shit,” Bear said, he popped his feet off his desk. “Did he hurt her?”

“No. She didn’t even tell me about it until last night. He showed up in his cut. Made damn sure she knew who he was. So Beth figured it was all about trying to scare her and stir me up.”

Bear raised a brow. “Smart girl. She’s probably right.”

“Yeah, well, I still don’t like it. How the hell does Milo Higgins or any member of the Hawks know a damn thing about Beth? How do they know where she lives?”

There was movement behind me. E.Z. let himself into the office. Bear nodded to him and he took a seat in front of Bear’s desk.

“Who else knew where she was?” I asked. “I mean, I didn’t even know until you told me last month.”

“You sure you didn’t get followed?” E.Z. asked, his tone dripping with contempt.

“I’m sure,” I said. “I know what I’m doing. You think I’d put her in danger intentionally?”

Bear flapped his hand. “Crystal Falls is a small-ass town. All it would take is one person to see you talking to her before the entire population knows her business.”

“She said the sheriff out there, a guy named Finch, confronted her about it. She didn’t seem to think he’s connected to the Hawks, but who knows. I just don’t like it. It needs to be dealt with. By me.”

Bear and E.Z. exchanged a look. “You sure it was Higgins?” E.Z. asked.

“She read his cut. She saw his face. He killed Sean. This can’t stand. Is he in custody now?”

E.Z. slammed his fist on the top of Bear’s desk. “Enough. You fucking took off on Shep and Axle. You wanna answer for that?”

“I just did,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “The shooter from Woody’s made it obvious someone had been to Beth’s. So I went to make sure she was okay. I handled my business same as either of you would. If it was Mama, you wouldn’t have waited for permission either.”

“I don’t need permission,” Bear grumbled. “You answer to me, Deacon. You could have been walking into an ambush. Use your head.”

“I can’t tell you I’m sorry, Bear. It’s Beth we’re talking about.”

“Yeah?” E.Z. turned to me. “And she’s been out of your loop for a decade, Deacon. How do you know who she associates with these days?”

I laughed. “You think she and Milo cooked the whole thing up? Give me a break. She’s clean, E.Z. She always has been. It’s the people around her who keep dragging her down.”

“Enough,” Bear said. “Shit is too stirred up to be spending time on squabbling. For now, you need to get her out of town. Just to be safe.”

“She won’t go,” I said. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“Right,” E.Z. said. “Why should she go if she’s got protection on the other side?”

I don’t remember moving, but before I knew it, I was in E.Z.’s face. “And that’s twice you’ve nearly accused her of something she’s not. I’m telling you, she is no threat to any of us. It’s the other way around. Now I’ve paid my dues to earn her some protection. I expect the club to honor it.”

Bear got between us. In his mid-fifties, he could still throw down with any one of us twenty years younger. He pushed E.Z. and me apart.

“And I said, enough. Deacon, I’m sorry, man. I don’t have the manpower to spare to sit on Beth’s house in Crystal Falls. We’ve sent half the wives to the safehouse in Abilene. Josie went kicking and screaming, but she went. She’s up at the lakehouse in Corpus Christi. She took Maya and the baby. Zig’s sent Gina and his kids home to her family. The DiSalvos can look after her for now. Everyone else is handling business here.”

“She’s a target!” I said. “And she’s mine.”

Bear gave me a grim nod. I knew my timing couldn’t be worse. I also knew I should have never gone to see her in the first place. The whole thing had been driven by my own selfish need to see her after losing Sean. She could have heard the news about his murder from someone ... anyone else. This was my fault and we both knew it. Bear at least had the decency to keep from saying it.

“And I’ll reach out to some contacts,” he said. “See if I can send someone out there to sit on her place. Somebody off book. In the meantime, you don’t set foot in Crystal Falls again. You don’t go anywhere solo again, you hear me?”

“I can’t promise you that. If she’s in trouble ... if I catch an inkling that she even could be …”

Bear put a hand up and nodded. “Not alone, Deacon. I can’t afford any more of my crew going rogue.”

“And this has to be answered,” I said. “Where’s Milo now?”

“You’d know that if you hadn’t gone AWOL, now, wouldn’t you?” E.Z. said.

The front door of the clubhouse opened. It would be the rest of the crew filing in to report. I should have been one of them. Bear had told me to stick with Shep. He’d trusted me to watch his son’s back. I knew I’d have a reckoning with him too, but I still couldn’t feel sorry. Because I was right. When Mama Bear was in trouble, Bear would move heaven and earth to get to her. And I’d left Shep with Maddox and Axle. He wasn’t alone.

“They arrested Milo last night but he made bail,” Bear said. “Early this morning.”

My tone was cold as ice. “Then I guess we know what needs to be done.”

“You need to get with Shep,” he said. “He picked up the slack for you last night.”

Voices rose in the outer room. One of them was Shep’s. “You’ll get eyes on Beth’s place?” I asked under my breath so the others couldn’t hear.

“He said he would, now, didn’t he?” E.Z. rose. He met me nose to nose, puffing his chest out. Anger roiled through me, but I kept it in check.

I gave Bear a nod. The shit between E.Z. and me would have to wait. I left the office and headed out to the main bar. Chase and Domino were there, looking like hell. They both had wives now. The stakes were even higher. For the first time, I knew how they felt. These men mattered to me, but we all knew what we signed up for. If any of this touched the women we loved … I couldn’t even complete the thought.

“Shep with you?” I asked.

Chase and Domino exchanged a glance. It seemed I was nobody’s favorite person today. I couldn’t blame them. I hadn’t been honest. I kept Beth a secret, thinking it would be safer for her. It hadn’t mattered in the end anyway.

“Haven’t seen him roll in yet,” Chase said, grabbing a beer from behind the bar.

“I’m heading over to the shop,” I said. “You tell him I’m out there if he comes in.”

Chase tipped the neck of his bottle toward me then turned back to Dom. I left the clubhouse and headed across the yard to the body shop. I only made it halfway before a shadow dropped in front of me and an arm took me across the back.

I stumbled forward and rounded, fists raised. Shep’s face was bright red with anger. Axle stood beside him, looming like a mountain.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Shep asked. He had a fresh cut above his eye.

I looked from Axle to Shep. My protective instincts still burned. I’d kept Beth a secret for so long, I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell even them.

“I had something personal to take care of,” I said, knowing it wouldn’t satisfy either of them. It wouldn’t have satisfied me if the tables were turned.

“Personal?” Axle said. “You don’t get to have a personal life, Deacon. None of us do. Not now.”

“Oh yeah? You gonna stand there and tell me if you thought Maya needed you, you wouldn’t turn your back on every one of us for her?”

It was a low blow, but it mattered. Axle’s eyes flashed. “I know how to balance both,” he said. “And Maya’s part of this club now. She knows the drill. Now you wanna tell me what the hell’s going on with you?”

Both Shep and Axle looked at me with such vitriol, it turned my blood cold. “Are you accusing me of something?”

Axle’s eyes flickered, but he stayed stone still. Shep got in my face. “I just think it’s damn convenient that every time shit’s about to go down lately, you disappear.”

He couldn’t have knocked the wind out of me any harder if he’d punched me. He might as well have.

“What the hell is going on with you two?” I asked. “Ever since Bo got back, you two and Maddox have been acting weird. And you’re accusing me of something?”

“We are at fucking war,” Shep said. “You have any idea what that means?”

I shoved him back. “Yeah. I do. Are you questioning my loyalty? Because you better back the fuck off. You have no idea what I’ve done for this club. You have no idea what I’ve sacrificed. I earned my way in, Shep.”

It was a low blow and I didn’t truly mean it. Shep was Bear’s son. Bear could have played favorites, but he didn’t. If anything, he was harder on Shep than any of the rest of us. But something snapped inside of me. My worry for Beth spilled over and I let it run my mouth. I instantly regretted it. When Shep cocked his fist, I didn’t counter. I figured I had this coming and the truth was, I knew it would hurt and feel good all at the same time.

Shep’s blow caught me square in the jaw. I staggered sideways, spitting blood. Then it was on. I lunged for him, catching him around the waist.

“Son of a bitch!” he yelled. I got my own punch off, making contact with his chin. Axle stood back. From the corner of my eye, I saw his lopsided smile.

Shep pushed me back. We ended up against the wall of the body shop. “You need to back the fuck off, man,” I said. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Yeah? Then you need to clue me in.”

When Shep threw another punch, I ducked. I dove at his midsection, knocking him off his feet. He landed a few more blows. So did I. We tumbled through the yard.

The crack of a shotgun blast pierced through my head. I staggered to my feet.

“Break it up!” Bear yelled, holding the shotgun toward the sky. “Son of a bitch. Sort your shit. We don’t have time for this.”

Axle stood beside him. “Well, Bear. I think they are sorting their shit.”

Shep and I stood, heaving for air. Blood dripped from his nose. I had a cut in the corner of my mouth.

“You done?” Bear asked.

I looked at Shep. He looked at me. “Yeah,” he answered. He held out a hand to me. I glowered at him, but took it.

“Good,” Bear said. “Because I just got a call from A.J. Moss. He wants a truce. He’s offering Milo Higgins for it. Get inside. We need to talk.”