As Deacon stood in my kitchen glaring at me, I did the one thing I hadn’t done in more years than I could count. I called Darlene at the office and told her I’d be late.

“Take your time, honey,” Darlene answered. “Haven’t seen Ed yet and that’s not a good sign.”

My whole body just deflated. Dammit. He had a settlement conference this afternoon on an auto accident case. His fee from that was supposed to carry us through the next quarter. If he didn’t show, the judge would have no choice but to enter a default against our client.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked. I felt like I was talking to two people at once. Deacon stood with clenched fists, his cold blue eyes filled with a protective fury. In his case, I knew his answer. He knew mine.

“Just live your life, Beth,” Darlene said with a defeated sigh. “There’s only so much either of us could do. I’m so tired of this. If my brother doesn’t care enough to keep his head above water, I’m gettin’ to the point where I’m done letting him drag me under.”

I knew how she felt. Of course I did. The trouble was, ultimately Ed was the only one who could keep us in business.

“Okay,” I answered. “I’ll check back in a couple of hours. If anything changes let me know. I can try to call the judge’s secretary and see if we can get another postponement.”

“Don’t bother,” Darlene said. “I already tried that. The word’s come down from the chief judge. No more postponements for any of Ed’s cases.”

“What? They can’t do that.”

“Yes, they can. I’m surprised they’ve waited this long. You know damn well that man has used up every second chance he had. Like I said, take some you time this morning. You’ve earned it. I’ll figure out some way to keep the world from falling apart. I always do.”

I knew Darlene could probably sense my sad smile as I said goodbye and hung up the phone. Deacon came to me the minute I put my phone on the counter.

My skin rippled with pleasure as he put his hands on my shoulders. He felt so good. His clean, musky scent filled my head, making me weak in the knees. I wanted him again. Plain and simple. I wanted to lose myself in his touch, give in to all the wicked dreams I’d had over the years. And there was the truth of it. I had dreamed of him all this time. I’d been kidding myself to think I was ever over Danny Wade.

“Come on,” he said, trying a softer approach. This was more like the Danny I used to know. He could be hard and gentle all at the same time. He had a way of making a person feel safe and secure. Even before he started to pursue a life with the clergy, Danny was the guy everyone unloaded on. He listened without judgment. But that hard edge was there too, glistening in his pale blue eyes. Deacon Wade, patched member of the Dark Saints M.C. wasn’t used to begging for anything.

“Danny,” I said, sliding my hands up his arms. “I’m not going to run. Not anymore.”

“I’m not asking you to run. Not like the last time. I’m just asking you to get out of town for a few days. I need to make sure you’re safe.”

I touched his face. His rough stubble tickled my fingertips. It got hard to think straight standing this close to him. “You said yourself, no one even knows I’m here but you.”

“I said I think no one knows you’re here but me. But people know I’m here. If they put two and two together, that could spell some trouble for you.”

I dropped my hand. “I trust the people in this town, Danny. People like to gossip, but they also know when to mind their own business. Yes, you’ve been seen. And you’ve been seen with me. But this is Crystal Falls. There’s no drug cartel here. The baddest element in town is ... well ... you.”

Danny flinched, but didn’t argue my point. He seemed on the verge of saying something else, but stopped.

“Tell me the truth,” I said. I was about to ask a question I’d always avoided with Sean. “How bad is this thing with your club really going to get?”

He stepped away from me and walked toward the kitchen window. I had a small, square yard with a wooden privacy fence. There were some overgrown bushes in the north corner I’d been meaning to thin out.

“I don’t know,” he finally answered and I knew he spoke the truth. “I’ve never lived through a full club war. Most of our members haven’t. The last major one happened before my time. Bear’s kept us at peace for over twenty years. That’s ... well ... it’s unheard of in my line of work.”

I slid my fingers up Danny’s bare back. His jeans hung low on his hips. I was still getting used to the look of him. His rippling muscles were covered in tattoos. It shocked me at first; now in the light of day, it turned me on. The largest tattoo covered most of his back, a kneeling angel with great black wings unfurled behind it and a sword clasped in his hands. The Dark Saint. There were other symbols too, and dates. I traced the small rose on his bicep and the tiny date beneath it. His father’s birthday. Instinct fueled me and I leaned over and kissed him there. A shiver went through Danny and he slid his arms around me.

“I think I’m glad you did it,” I whispered. Tears sprang to my eyes, shocking me a little. Sean and Danny’s father had been such a sweet, gentle man. He’d worked third shift at an oil refinery just outside of Port Azrael. Coleman Wade was nothing like my own father had been. He was steady, solid, pious. He made the Wade boys go to church every Sunday, no matter what. When Sean fell in with the cartel, Mr. Wade hadn’t wanted to believe it. Neither did I. It was Danny who made us see the truth.

The night Mr. Wade died still burned in my heart. He’d been shot in my living room. A driveby. And it was my fault. They were looking for me and Sean. He would have been home, but I kicked him out the night before. Port Azrael was just as small as Crystal Falls when it came to everyone knowing your business.

“I shouldn’t have made him leave,” I whispered. Danny stiffened beside me. I hadn’t meant to go there. I hadn’t even given voice to it in all this time. It seemed this had been a day for confessions though and dealing with old wounds.

Danny turned to me. He hooked a finger beneath my chin and lifted my face until our eyes met again. “Then you would have been the one they killed,” he said. I knew it. Of course I knew it. And yet, the guilt was still there.

“I wanted to kill him,” I whispered. “I wanted Sean to pay for all the things he’d destroyed. Your father didn’t deserve what happened to him. I wanted to make Sean hurt.”

Danny’s eyes narrowed. “Is that what I was?”

It wasn’t fair and he knew it. It seemed he still had plenty of his own guilt to work through. I pulled away from him. “You know you weren’t. But Sean never even knew that you and I ... that we …”

“Beth,” he said. “This is why I need you to get out of sight for a couple of days. I won’t go through this again. I won’t put you in the middle of another mess you didn’t create.”

I shook my head, trying to clear the shock at what he’d just said. “I’m already in the middle of it, Deacon. You put me in the middle of it the second you rode out here to find me. And before you take on the martyr role again, I’m not sorry you did.”

I wanted to tell him how much I’d missed him. It was something I wasn’t sure I was fully ready to admit to myself yet. I’d lived with a hole in my life. I’d filled it with other things. Work. Looking after Ed Albright. But I was starting to understand the shape of that hole more than I ever did. It was Danny. It was Deacon. And it scared the hell out of me.

Something changed in Danny. His posture straightened and his face took on that hard edge. That was the thing that was most different about him. It wasn’t the tiny age lines around his eyes or even the tattoos. He had a roughness to his core that may have been there all along, only now it was exposed. I can’t help that it thrilled me a little.

Danny brushed past me, walking with purpose. He went to the bedroom and pulled open my closet door.

“What are you doing?” I said, running to catch up with him.

“I told you, I won’t go through it again. I won’t put you at risk. You are going to the safehouse, Beth. If I have to drag you kicking and screaming.”

“No!” My shout cut through the air. Deacon froze. He’d found a leather backpack in the bottom of my closet and gripped it tight.

“No,” I said softer. “I’m not running. I’m staying right here. I gave up everything. You can’t ask me to do it again.”

He pursed his lips so tight the blood left them. Tossing the backpack to my bed, he came to me. “It won’t be forever. A few days. That’s all.”

“Don’t. Don’t promise me that. You’ve done that before, remember?”

God. It seemed I was on some merry-go-round. We’d had almost the exact same conversation the evening of Mr. Wade’s funeral. Danny promised to keep me safe. I just had no idea how he’d planned to keep that particular oath.

“I’m safer here,” I said. “You said yourself, it’s my connection to you that puts me at risk. How can you be sure this safehouse you have really is safe? Deacon, I don’t know your people. I know mine. Crystal Falls are my people for now. I’ll lay low if that’s what you want, but I’m not running. I’ve sacrificed too much for Sean ... and ... for you ... You can’t make me do it again.”

My words came out in a flood. I hadn’t even planned what I’d say, but once they were out, I knew how deeply I meant them. As good as Danny made me feel, I would not run again. Not even for him.

He threw the backpack on the bed. Once again, I was struck by the steel in his eyes. Nobody said no to Deacon Wade and the Dark Saints M.C. Except I just did.

“You should go,” I said, as a hollow pit formed in my core. At the same time, a tiny flame flickered inside me, drawing me to him. I wanted him. Craved him. Even now, my sex quivered with the need for his touch. But I’d let passion rule my heart far too many times.

“Beth.” He moved, reaching for me. I stepped away.

“No,” I said. “I’m sorry, Danny. Do you know how badly I just want to chuck everything and run away with you? Because I do. I want to trust you. I want to get carried away with you. But I can’t. Not this time. Too much has happened. I’ve made too many choices based on fear. I won’t do it again. I’ve fought too hard to make a life for myself. I won’t give it up. Not even for you.”

He ran a hard hand over his face. God. I still knew him so well. He was angry. He felt helpless. But he knew I was right.

“I can’t stay here, Beth. I have to handle things with my club.”

“I know.” My throat felt tight.

As if on cue, his cell phone vibrated in his back pocket. Squeezing his eyes tight, he answered it. I backed away, not wanting to hear too much. But it didn’t matter, I could read the expression on his face. He would leave me. I asked him to. Still, it hurt like hell.

I walked back out to the kitchen. My own cell was ringing. Darlene’s picture popped up and a pit formed in my stomach. It was Ed. It couldn’t be good news.

“I need you, love,” she said. “I think I’ve worked out a solution to Ed’s docket today, but you’re going to have to come in and make some promises.”

Nodding, I drew in a breath. “Okay. I’ll be there within an hour.”

Deacon stood behind me. I hung up with Darlene and turned to him. “Beth, I wish you wouldn’t. I wish you’d stay out of sight.”

“And I wish you’d stay right here. It looks like we’re both running for trouble.” I smiled up at him. I’d told Danny I wanted to fight for the life I’d built. And yet it burned in me to ask him to give up his. He couldn’t any more than I could.

“Fine,” he said, giving me a soft smile that melted me. “You win. But will you promise me you’ll be careful? Don’t go off anywhere by yourself. Stay in town or stay home. No new client meetings. Home before dark.”

I gave him a salute. “Promise. Can you promise me that you’ll be careful too?”

He smiled and slid his fingers through my hair. Leaning down, he kissed me. Heat snaked through my heart. Oh, I wanted him. I’d never stopped. But we both had to get back to the lives we’d built. I just prayed his wouldn’t ruin him.