There were fifteen million reasons why I should have turned Beth away. She was better off without me. Safer. She could have gone anywhere. Lived any life she wanted. But when she looked at me with those steely eyes and opened her heart, I knew my own would never fully beat again unless she was with me.

When we came up for air, two more car horns blared as they passed. She’d parked at a crooked angle on the shoulder.

“Come on,” I said. “It’s not safe to stop this long.”

Nodding, Beth put the car in gear and carefully pulled back into traffic. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to hold her hand, kiss her, pull her against me. Her presence fueled me. Later, I knew I’d crashed. When Mama Bear got a hold of me, she’d probably half try to kill me herself for leaving the hospital. Beth might even help her. For now, with Beth by my side, I felt invincible.

I pointed the way and Beth quietly pulled into Chili’s diner, picking a parking spot beneath a broken light. We could stay better hidden that way.

“Come on,” I said. “We’re better off inside. When Shep gets here, do you mind waiting in one of the booths? I’ve got some things to say to him. He won’t talk in front of you. Not yet.”

Beth nodded. “Fine. But I’m staying close. You still look half ready to topple over. I see so much as a cough out of you, I’m calling for an ambulance.”

I gave her a salute then hooked my hand through hers as we made our way into the little highway diner.

We drew some open-mouthed stares as we walked in. It was the last thing I wanted. I had bloodstains on my shirt. I covered what I could with my leather jacket, but we stuck out. The sooner I could get Beth to the safety of the clubhouse, the better.

I didn’t have to wait long before Shep walked in. He wasn’t alone. He brought Axle, Bo, and Maddox with him. They spotted me right away. God, I hoped I was placing my trust in the right people with what I had to say. I leaned over to Beth. She’d taken a seat at the counter.

“Wait here,” I said. “I’ll call you over.” I rubbed her arm with my thumb. I had a lot of explaining to do. Beth was just part of it.

Shep looked grim. He gestured with his chin and met me at an oversized booth in the back. Axle and Maddox took the seat facing the front door. Bo slid in, then me. Shep took the last space, caging me in between them.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Axle asked.

Now that I had them here, I didn’t know where to start. So I cut to the end. “I’ve been seeing Beth. She was Sean’s wife. I came out here to tell her what happened to him and then …”

Axle put a hand up. “I get it. And I remember. She was special to you. But why the hell didn’t you tell us that before?”

“She’s been through enough. Sean’s shit ... I tried to keep her clear of mine.”

Shep pulled on my jacket. “Looks like you failed. What happened?”

I filled them in as best I could. I told them everything, how Milo first threatened her, my suspicions about the local Crystal Falls cops, then the shitstorm at her house. Finally, I pulled Milo’s bloodied phone out of my jacket and lay it on the table between us.

“Milo’s dead,” I said. “I killed him. But he got a call. I answered it. I never said a word but the caller on the other end ... I recognized his voice.”

Three words I had left to say. The moment I did, it would change everything. I had nothing left to go on but my gut. I put my trust in these four men.

“It was E.Z.,” I said.

Shep sat upright, but his face didn’t register shock. Instead, he gave a grim look to Axle.

“You’re sure?” Bo asked.

Nodding, I tapped the phone. “He probably called on a burner, but it’ll be the last call. He was asking Milo if he handled something for him. I believe it was me. I think E.Z. wanted me and Beth dead.”

“E.Z. knew where Beth was living all this time?” Shep asked. He was staring straight at Axle when he asked.

I scratched my chin. From the corner of my eye, I saw Beth staring. She tried to look away when I caught her eye, but it was too late. I made a gesture to her. Just sit tight, baby.

“Bear and E.Z.,” I said. “It was the deal I made. Ten years ago, when Sean first started dealing for the cartel, they leaned on him. He was into them for a ton of money. I don’t know how he ended up working out, but there were casualties along the way. They came to Sean’s place looking for Beth. They were going to kill her to keep him in line. Only she wasn’t there that night. She was with me. My dad was there instead so they killed him.”

“Shit,” Axle said. “I always thought it was something like that.”

“So you went to Bear,” Bo said.

I nodded. “I needed to get protection for Beth and the rest of my family. And revenge. Bear made the arrangements, but I carried it out. I took out the hitman who killed my dad. Bear wanted him gone anyway. There was some club shit brewing that didn’t involve me, but it was a two-birds-with-one-stone deal for him. I left the priesthood. I had no choice. It wasn’t for me anymore after what I’d done ... what I’d seen. I patched in not long after that. Bear promised Beth a new identity and a new life. I made him swear never to tell me where she was. I thought it would be easier ... better for her that way. I was stupid enough to think it should be part of my penance. Then Sean died and …”

“And you love her,” Maddox said. He, Bo, and Axle had found women of their own. I never envied them before. Now I understood. My eyes caught Beth’s again. Her soft smile melted me.

“You’re sure nobody but Bear and E.Z. knew where Beth was?” Bo asked. “And you’re sure it was E.Z.’s voice you heard on Milo’s phone?”

“I’m sure. And none of you seem surprised.”

Shep cleared his throat. “We’re not.”

My heart thundered in my chest. I took a sip of water the waitress had set out for us. “Then you better tell me what the hell’s going on.”

Axle answered for them. “We’ve been working with a guy on the inside,” he started. “One of the Hawks approached us a few months ago. Said he had reason to think somebody in the club was working against us.”

“A rat within our crew?” I asked; my heart dropped. I knew the answer now. Still, I had to keep saying the words so I could believe it. E.Z. He’d been working against us all along.

“I didn’t want to believe it either,” Bo said. “But there’s been a bunch of other shit. Shit I couldn’t talk about. It’s the reason I had to stay away for so long.”

“This club war,” Shep said. “My pops never wanted it. He got backed into a corner. I don’t think the Hawks’ prez wanted it either. Too many things haven’t added up. Now with this ... I think we have our answer.”

Axle let out a heavy breath and squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them, he’d gone stone cold.

“Bear’s been trying to negotiate a truce,” Shep said. “I think E.Z. knew if Milo took out one of us, there’d be no way for that to happen. He knew you’d tear off to Crystal Falls alone. You were the perfect target. Plus, Milo was the bait my pops wanted to dangle. We already had him fingered for killing Sean. If the Hawks’ prez had been willing to give him up, Bear might have been able to use that.”

“And I killed him,” I said. “It was a win-win for E.Z. If Milo had killed me and Beth, there’d be no way Bear could broker peace. The rest of the club would never go for it. And now, I’ve killed Milo ... the Hawks won’t take that lying down.”

“E.Z. knew exactly what he was doing,” Axle said.

“So what do we do now?” I asked. “Do we take this to Bear?”

Again, those secret looks passed among them. Axle leaned forward. “Not yet. If we know anything, it’s that E.Z.’s played this smart. He’s been one step ahead and planned for every contingency. Like tonight. No matter how it shook down, it would have ended up in his favor. He wants war. As much as it kills me, we have to bide our time. We have to figure out what that fucker is planning. Cuz if I know one thing, it’s that he’s got a backup plan to his backup plan.”

“So we do nothing? We sit tight?” I asked.

Shep nodded. “For now. Yes. We protect our own. We figure out a way to bring E.Z. down from the inside out. When the time is right, we’ll bring it to my pops. We still don’t know if E.Z. is acting alone.”

“You think Bear’s in on this?” I asked, my heart nearly flipping inside out.

Shep’s expression was grave. It told me all I needed to know. I couldn’t believe Bear could be working with E.Z. I wouldn’t believe it. But Shep and the others were right. Until we figured out E.Z.’s end game, our best weapon against him was secrecy. We’d have to find a way to beat him at his own game. And we would. I knew it in my heart.

Beth came to the table. “He needs a doctor,” she said. “Either you boys wrap this up or I’m calling 911.”

Axle’s face split into a smile. He leaned over and held out his hand to Beth’s to shake. She glowered at him, but took his hand. I could tell by the flicker in Axle’s eye that he respected her grip.

“I’ve got to ask you something, Beth,” I said. “After all these years, when you left Port Azrael, who was your contact with the Saints.”

“It was always Zeke Watson,” she said. “He drove me to Crystal Falls that first night. He gave me a number and told me if shit ever hit the fan, I should call him. I never did though.”

Bo dropped his head. He pressed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. My stomach flipped and it got hard to breathe.

“Enough,” Beth said. “I mean it. Whatever you have to talk about, it can wait. Deacon needs to get to a doctor.”

“I’m fine,” I said holding up a hand. “We’ll have Mama Bear check me out. If she wants me back in the hospital, it’ll be in Port Az.”

“He’s right,” Shep said, rising. “We can keep Deacon safer in our own backyard. Let me make a couple of calls. I’ll find someplace safe for you, Beth. Don’t worry.”

She looped an arm around my waist. I pulled her close. “I’m not worried,” she said. “And I don’t leave Deacon’s side.”

Shep, Axle, Bo, and Maddox exchanged looks. “Like that, is it?” Axle smiled.

“Yes,” Beth said, her tone taking a hard edge.

Maddox covered his mouth to hold back a laugh. “Perfect,” Bo said. “Looks like you’re going to fit right in. Congratulations, Deacon, though this means Dom wins the pool.”

“The pool?” I asked.

Shep slapped me on the back. “Chase thought you were probably heading back to the seminary,” he said. “Ever since you started disappearing. A few of the guys, Dom mostly, figured it was a woman. The rest of us …”

His voice trailed off. “Shit,” I said. “You thought it was me? That I turned traitor?”

Axle squared his shoulders and stared at me head on. “It doesn’t matter what anybody thought. It only matters what is and we know what we need to do. Now come on. Beth’s right. You look like shit. We brought the van. Bo’s driving. Shep and I will ride beside you. Honey, you okay with ditching your car? It’s better that way if anyone put a tail on you. You won’t need it. The club will take care of you from now on. That is, if you’re with Deacon.”

Beth squeezed her arm tight around me. She straightened her back and looked at Axle dead in the eyes. There weren’t many people ballsy enough to do that and live to tell about it. But my girl was made of steel.

“I’m with Deacon,” she said, lifting her chin.

Axle smiled. “Well then, that’s good enough for us. Let’s get the hell out of here and go back home.” With Beth by my side, the word took on greater meaning.

Her stride was sure and strong as I led her to the back of the club van. I climbed in and held my hand out for her. Smiling, she stepped up and slid right back into my arms.

“You sure about this?” I asked. “Life as my old lady might get pretty bumpy.”

She laughed. Her soft hair tickled my chin as she slid beneath my arm in the space where she fit best. “Bumpier than today?”

I kissed her. “Let’s hope this is the high-water mark, but maybe.”

“I don’t care,” she whispered. “I know I should, but I don’t. I’ve wasted too many years living for other people or just waiting to live at all. I want this. I want you. I don’t care where it takes us as long as it’s together. Do you think you can live with that?”

My heart soared as we hit the highway at top speed again. Bo drove smooth, but I still winced every time we took a curve. It earned me a stern look from Beth. I knew Mama Bear would have my ass next.

“Yeah.” I smiled as Bo made the turn for the Port Azrael bridge. Its LED lights blazed a rainbow of colors across the night sky.

“It’s so pretty.” Beth gasped, looking out the window. “I’ve stayed away. Did you know that? I haven’t been back here. Not once. Now I can’t imagine being anywhere else.”

I leaned against the back of the van. Beth snuggled against me, careful not to put her weight on the wound on my shoulder. I supposed it should hurt like hell. With her in my arms, I felt invincible.

“I love you,” I said. “I think you’re crazy as hell to want to stay with me, but I’m done trying to drive you away.”

“Good.” She laughed. “Because you can’t.”

It wouldn’t be easy. This club war was far from over. Ousting E.Z. might tear us apart. But for now, as Beth pressed her cheek against me, the bridge lights brightened. Port Azrael spread before us. For the first time in my life, with Beth in my arms, I felt like I was truly going home.