Carpe Omnia
- Seize Everything
“I hope they’ll be okay,” I repeat myself for the tenth time.
Of course, I’ve left Maverick with a babysitter before, but this isn’t the same. Odin doesn’t babysit regularly, and I’m just slightly worried he’ll do something out of the norm.
There’s a decent-sized chance we’ll come back later, and my son will be covered head to toe in fake tattoos. Generally, it wouldn’t concern me, but in two days when Princess says, “I do,” I don’t want my kid looking like a hellion in any of her photos. Although he’d fit in with the men around him, and maybe he’ll blend in more that way.
“They’re right over the field at the house if they need anything. I’m sure they won’t, though. This is good practice for Odin anyhow. The club sluts follow him around like lost puppies. He needs to see what happens if you’re not careful.”
“Thanks.” I wince.
I wasn’t careful; I was too trusting and ended up a single mom because of it.
“I didn’t mean it like that. You were older—in your twenties—when you got pregnant. He’s only eighteen and thinks he’s untouchable by anything. I don’t want a surprise to land him on his ass, at least not until he’s older. You had a chance to be free and crazy, he’s just getting to that point.”
“I know what you meant. Really, it’s fine. I was older but still living with my mom working a crap job. Things could’ve been easier. I hope Odin gets a chance to live his life some before facing the challenges I did.”
“Me too, B. I won’t let him be some shitty father, bailing on the back of his bike, either. I promise you that whichever woman he ends up with, he’ll do right by them.”
My smile’s a bit shaky as I ponder over her words. She’s turning into her mom, and she’s so lucky for that. So are the rest of the guys; Mona was good to everyone.
It’s also shaky because she still believes that Nightmare left me out to dry. I mean, he did in a way, telling me he didn’t want kids and couldn’t have them. He said it himself. What kind of father would he be and why would he want that anyhow.
Every time I begin to feel guilty or question my decisions, I have to remind myself of his words. He didn’t want me; he didn’t want Maverick. Nightmare didn’t want us. I would’ve given him everything I had, too. It wasn’t much, but I would’ve worshiped him with every beat of my heart. Too bad I wasn’t enough for him.
“Enough seriousness. You have a free pass tonight. You know what that means, right?” She pulls me to her in a side hug, grin full of mischief.
“Free pass? Hardly. I still have to function tomorrow.” Grinning, she rolls her eyes.
“Tonight, we have fun, Bethany. Suck it up and hold on sweet pea, it’s goin’ down.”
“Oh, God. Why do I feel like we’ll regret this tomorrow?”
“Let’s not think of that now. You’re trying that apple pie moonshine I told you about. That stuff is freaking amazing.”
“All right, bartender, pour me one … but only one. No puking tonight.”
She laughs and leads the way into the clubhouse, straight toward the bar. She’s full of trouble, and everyone always thought I was the bad one growing up. She was just as guilty as I was at getting us into something we weren’t supposed to be in.
First time we drank? Her fault. Yep, she opened her mom’s brandy cabinet and made us vodka and orange juice. It was disgusting, and we spilled it everywhere. Her mom had to know half the bottle of vodka was really water. She never said a word about it, but she didn’t need too. Princess and I were so paranoid that Mona knew, we didn’t enjoy it one bit. I think we walked around with our eyes wide and hands shaking for an entire month, waiting for her mom to lynch our asses.
Part of me wonders how we even survived as teens, being linked to a notorious biker club and her brother being Mr. Super Popular in school. Girls hated us for being close to him, and weird men watched us all the time. I know it was because of her father. Whether they were friend or foe, I still haven’t the slightest clue.
However it happened, we made it, and now she’s still trying to kill me—with moonshine. I love apple pie and doubt the liquor tastes anything like it, but if it does, I’m in trouble. You can’t have too much apple pie, especially if they have whipped cream behind the bar, too. Geesh.
“Hey, Blaze? Can we each have a shot of apple pie, please?” She leans over the bar, smiling at a guy our age. His arms are covered in tattoos that look like they’re on fire. So, this dude must be the cousin she’s told me about. He’s decent looking, but not on Nightmare’s level though.
Princess filled me in how he was a total dick to her the first time they met. She said he’s cool now, but for the longest, I wanted to castrate him for treating her so badly. I’m surprised Viking didn’t kill him when he found out. She said he offered to and that gave him some more brownie points in my book.
He carefully pours us a few shots from a jar and sets them in front of us, then he takes a big swig straight from the jar for himself.
“I told you only one!” I protest over the loud music filling the small room.
Blaze grins at Princess, then at me. “No way, darlin’. You'll want another, trust me.” He winks, and I understand how he’s charmed her. Manners and a cute dimple with some southern twang will no doubt make your heart flutter. Mix in some moonshine, and women don’t have a chance.
“Ugh.” I groan, knowing I’ve already lost. She’s got the freaking bartender on her side, so no doubt he’ll feed us drinks all night as long as she bats her eyelashes at him.
“Blaze, whiskey and coke, brother.” It’s grumbled from behind me.
“Brother.” Blaze nods and turns to make the drink.
My backside feels like it’s on fire and being able to make out his grumble, I know Nightmare is close. If I guess correctly, I’d say way too close knowing him. The man has been persistent for sure and doesn’t hesitate to overtake my personal space.
“You gonna say ‘hi’ at least, little daydream?” he mutters making my nipples harden in response. Traitors. The man’s voice has a straight shot to my core it seems. One hand lands on my hip, and my body falters for a moment, wanting nothing more than to lean into him and rest against his strength. I want to touch him everywhere, for him to do the same to me. God, he’s so good at it, like he knows all the perfect spots to hit.
“Princess,” he acknowledges, playing nice.
“Nightmare,” she replies, not impressed and the tension grows thicker around us. I wouldn’t be surprised if P clawed his eyes out if she was given the chance to. It’s my damn fault entirely, and I hate that I’ve created a rift between them.
“Try the shot dollface, you’ll love it.” His breath hits my neck, caressing the sensitive flesh, my eyelashes fluttering as it does. Thank God, he can’t see my face, or he’d know I’m halfway there to giving in to him.
His drink lands on the counter in front of me as Blaze’s gaze flickers over me. He’s curious no doubt, why his broody brother is hovering behind me, like an overprotective bear—like I belong to him.
Prissy shoots him an annoyed look and passes me one of the rock’s glasses with two fingers full of clear alcohol. “Come on, B; a toast to good friends and good times.”
I tap my glass to hers, lightly bumping the bottom to the counter and then bringing it to my lips. It doesn’t even smell harsh like moonshine normally does. The taste splashes over my tongue, and it’s like biting into a fresh slice of cinnamon apple pie, just like she said.
I’m fucked because I instantly love it and know I’ll want to drink it until I’m sick which is not good. I don’t get out much—like at all—and have no alcohol tolerance anymore, so I there’s no way I can hang with my bestie drinking anymore. I’ve turned into more of a chug-wine-before-bed or sip-a-beer-until-it’s-room-temperature type.
“Damn, that’s good.” I sigh, setting the empty glass in front of Blaze. Nightmare’s grip tightens on my hip briefly until I wiggle away. He and alcohol don’t mix—I’d end up pregnant again, and that’s not happening.
“Told you.” She winks, and I giggle.
I actually giggle, because I’m so happy to be here right in this moment getting to drink and relax with her. If I knew how everything was going to turn out, I would’ve cherished the time we had before, much more. I hate living away from her, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to get away and start over. I had to go somewhere where a decent apartment was cheap to rent and where we could survive on a waitress’s salary.
“Too bad Maverick’s father wasn’t in the picture to help you with him, or else we could do this more.” She glares at Night behind me, and I choke, coughing.
“Princess!” I gasp and yank her away from the bar, away from him. “You can’t say that stuff, please,” I plead, the music drowning our conversation away. I can’t believe she just said that next to him.
“Why not? I’m your best friend; of course, you’re going to tell me what happened. Does he think he can just stand right there, touching you like he owns you, without me opening my mouth? He can’t have his cake and eat it too, doesn’t work that way. He wants you, he wants Maverick. There is not one without the other.”
My eyes become watery. She has no idea what she’s talking about. I should admit everything to her, the entire story. He doesn’t know Maverick’s his, and even if he did, I don’t think anything would change. I seriously doubt he’d care, but I’m not wanting to feel that heartache in my soul as well.
Being shot down once from him is enough for me to remember for the rest of my life. I wish he wanted us both, but I’m not going to fool myself into believing that fairy tale can be mine. He doesn’t want to be a father; I won’t force him into that position.
“Please. I just want to relax and have some fun.”
“What’s going on?” Viking’s inquisitive gaze flashes over us both as he pulls Princess to his chest. Always in protection mode when it comes to his woman. She’s lucky.
“Nothing, your ol’ lady’s making me drink moonshine.”
“Ah.” He grins. “It’s good.”
“It’s amazing!”
“Then let’s have some,” he finishes, pulling Princess with him to the bar. She, in return, tugs me along with her.
We each pick up the other full shots we’d left behind, and Blaze pours Viking a tumbler that’s three-quarters full. The man’s the size of a mammoth, so naturally, his shots are supersized too.
“Come on, brother, join us in celebrating.” He includes Nightmare, and, of course, Night readily agrees, saddling up next to me as he’s poured his own super-sized shot as well. At this rate, I’ll be trashed within the hour.
“What we toasting too?” Night asks while staring down at me, his eyes saying so much but I’m unable to read him.
“To women we can’t forget,” Viking mutters, while tinking his tumbler to Princess’ shot. “To women worth being better for.”
She finishes, “And to men who’re nothing but trouble.” He sends her a curious glance but doesn’t protest. Instead, downing the alcohol in two gulps and finishing by pressing his lips to hers in a scorching kiss.
I’m happy she’s found the love of her life. I’m even slightly jealous of it. Not in a bad way; I just want that love for myself.
Nightmare’s knuckles find my chin, tipping my head up to his, but I don’t give him the chance. Turning back to Blaze, I put on a large smile. “Hey, Blaze, can I get a Sprite, please?” I need something to cool me off.
“Just a Sprite? Want me to add some vodka and cherry or anything?” I hate vodka, and even that sounds delicious. No wonder he’s the bartender.
“No thanks, just the Sprite for me, please. I need something other than alcohol in my stomach or I won’t be able to hang with this one for very long.” I tilt my head over toward my friend who’s still making out with her man. Years later and they act like two horny teenagers, never getting enough of each other.
“Hmmm, that’s not what I’ve heard. According to the boss lady, you were quite the partier back in the day.”
“Yep, I was, but I’ve calmed down since then. It’s not fun being hungover the next day I’ve learned.”
“Truth,” he agrees, handing me the large, fizzy soda. He threw a cherry on top for me, so that was sweet.
“We had fun, and I don’t remember you being so bad off that we couldn’t roll around the next day.” Nightmare pulls my face back toward him, and I lick my lips. My hand falls to his chest, attempting to keep some mandatory space between us. Any closer and I’ll melt right here in front of him.
He leans down, brushing his nose against mine as his deep voice continues to mutter, “In fact, I remember we had a great time—fucked up, posted against the side of a bar. Remember that, dollface? You had marks all over your back from the brick.” Princess’ eyes grow wide as they meet mine, and the memories flash through my mind of the night he’s talking about.
He’d pulled me outside the bar. Rushed and hot after I’d divulged my secret of having tasted Princess mere moments before he’d sucked my taste off his fingers. I wanted him so badly at that point I thought my body would explode if he held out.
It’d been like he was teasing me in the days before. Each time I’d seen him, he’d throw me a brief, irritated glance and nothing more. I knew he wanted to fuck me. I could feel it in the air, in the way his pissed-off gaze practically singed me each time it landed on me.
“So, I’m getting fucked too, hmmm?” I giggle, following behind as he rounds the corner of the building. I’m practically thrown up against the brick, his body coming to mine in a hurry as if he can’t feel me fast enough.
“Bet your sweet ass, you are. I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you won’t be feeling anyone else there but me—ever. I’ll be your goddamn Nightmare all night tonight, baby, and you’ll be my daydream.”
Those words coming from his mouth as he pulls my shorts free are like ice on a hot day. Just what I need to hear for my core to crave him sinking blissfully deep into me. Most men are pansies, overworking to get me to spread my legs for them. Nightmare, however, gets right to it.
“Then fuck me, Nightmare,” I whisper, relenting and his eyes alight with a fiery storm. He’s big and strong and hung like a goddamn horse. His cock stirring between his legs is the biggest dick I’ve ever seen in my life. Long and thick and needy, exactly what I want from him. He’s right about me never feeling anyone else. How could I with a man like him?
“Oh my God.” Gasping in delight, I take his length in my hand—my fingers not being able to touch each other, his girth is so dense.
“That’s right, dollface, you won’t be walking tomorrow.” He winks, a roguish grin painted on his lips.
You know how many guys say that shit and then it never holds true? All of them. In this case, Nightmare is one hundred percent telling the truth, and for the first time in my life, I’m scared of a cock.
Pulling my hand free, he takes both my wrists in one of his much bigger hands. Nightmare posts them above my head, against the rough brick behind me. He wraps his other arm with muscles the size of my thighs around my waist, lifting me clear off the ground. The man clearly knows what he wants and fuck if it isn’t unbelievably sexy.
A small moan escapes my lips at his movements. The control and no hesitation on his part has me panting to have him inside me. His cock bobs, straight up, seeking out my center. It’s so fucking big, he doesn’t even need his hands. He simply lowers me down on him, my pussy swallowing him up like the greedy, overly excited bitch she is.
One powerful bounce of his hips and I’m sliding down farther, his length ripping through me in the most delicious ways that I’ve experienced.
“Sweet baby Jesus,” I groan, and he chuckles darkly. “You are one big boy.”
“I didn’t descend from above beautiful; I ascended from hell. Nothing good and pure could have a cock like this. And I’m all man, no boy around here,” he growls and drives into me hard.
I scream loudly and love every second of the pain, of the perfection. There was a reason he was holding out on me, but no more. I may not be able to walk tomorrow, but I’ll make sure he’s so satisfied that he never wants another.
He may believe he’s from hell, an outlaw biker who’s mean and dangerous. But I don’t agree with him. Nothing this perfect could come from below.
He fucks me with purpose, the rough edges of the brick scraping my back with each harsh drive. I don’t know if he’s proving his point to me or trying to make me praise God about him some more. His arm must be torn to shit as well from bracing me and taking the brunt of his motions.
“You gonna cry, baby?” he mutters, watching me with delight. He must be used to weak women. I may not be too strong, but one thing I’m not is weak. And if I were, I’d never let a man like this see it. He needs a mate that can match him, and I’m determined to be that one for him.
“No, I want it harder.”
His eyes widen as his eyebrows raise, surprised at my admission. “Harder?” He must not be used to hearing that request.
“Yes, harder, Nightmare. Make me feel you.”
“Oh, you’ll feel it all right.” It’s muttered darkly as his body slams into mine, the breath nearly leaving my lungs as he sinks into me fully. There’s hasn’t been a man like him before, and it has me spinning. He’s purely sinful, everything I crave and desire, yet everything I shouldn’t have, everything that’s bad for me.
Nightmare calls to my dark side, I want to drink a little more, take another pill, and fuck even harder. He could be my destruction, yet it’s the first time he’s been this close to me—the first time I’ve felt him.
He bounces his hips again, thighs with thick muscles, built like some sort of Greek god. His cock drives through my core, taking its pleasure and giving me mine in return. He’s so deep that his dick hits the perfect spot. One more caress and his cock has me grinding into him, seeking more.
“More, please, right there!” I call, my eyes clamping shut as the sensations begin to make me see bright colors behind my eyelids. “Ohmygod more, just fuck me, already!”
The words flip a switch; he drops my wrists, his free hand coming to my throat. One harsh squeeze, cutting off my breath has me coming, a scream fighting to break free as he pounds into me. It must be the tipping point for him too, as he stares at me full of fury, pumping into me over and over, so quickly that my head hits the brick. It hurts, but each sample of pain only heightens my pleasure he so easily supplies me with.
Gasping, my mouth falls open as dizziness starts to cloud my vision. His forehead is against mine, his mouth taking my own with a vengeance as his cock bursts inside my core. His cum is hot and thick, each splash warming my center in a blissful assault, and all I can think of is how I want more.
I want all of it, everything he’ll give me. I want him.
“Fuck, you’re sexy when your cheeks redden like that,” Nightmare mutters, and it brings me out of the memory, of the first time he had me. The first time I had a piece of him. It was the night he possessed my body and my soul. I knew he owned me.
“Ummm,” I reply, blinking quickly, trying to clear the thoughts away.
“You okay, Bethany?” Princess interrupts, garnering my attention.
“Yeah, just a little…dizzy.” Sighing, I gulp some of the Sprite down.
This is why I can’t drink around Nightmare. He doesn’t even have to touch me; the memories alone could make me self-destruct.