I send another text to Jared. I’ve been bugging the shit out of him, but I don’t care. I need to get the hell out of here and make myself useful. I’ve been home for two weeks and I haven’t done a damn thing, except watch the one woman I ever loved walk away from me.

I look down at my phone. The text is sent, but he hasn’t answered.

He has a life and responsibilities. I don’t have shit.

We’re gonna meet up later to look at this garage on West Avenue. It’s a little rundown, but there’s plenty of need for a mechanic shop in this town and that location is perfect.

Besides, I need to focus on something. I can’t get over the fact that Vi doesn’t want me. I can’t stay in this fucking house, feeling sorry for myself.

I paid the down payment for a house on the outskirts of town today. I was eyeing it last week, but this morning I got my ass out there and settled on it. It’s on a lake and in rough shape. That’s good though. It’ll keep me busy. I need that right now.

I’m distracted by the sound of high heels clicking against the old wooden floor.

Haley walks down the stairs wearing a dress that barely covers her ass. She’s going out again.

Un-fucking-believable. Abbi’s already in bed for a nap, but still I can’t take it. I’m pissed.

I know she’s single. I know she’s getting over Chris’ death. But she should have more respect than that. For herself, for her daughter, for the love she shared with Chris.

“Hey Hunter, I’ve gotta--”

She starts giving me the same shit she’s been dishing out.

“Another date?”

My voice is hard when I cut her off. She flinches slightly before putting that bitchy facade back into place. She puts her hands on her hips and throws daggers at me.

I knew that she would. She has a right to be mad, and to deal with his death how she wants. But I can’t keep quiet and not say anything anymore. She can fucking hate me if she wants.

“Yeah, I do, and I--”

“You need to knock it off, Haley.” Jared’s been talking to me about what the women are saying at Krissy’s school. I don’t fucking like hearing my sister’s name in bad taste. Worse, I don’t like that what they’re saying is true. I know she’s in pain, but she’s only hurting herself more.

She opens her mouth and pinches her brows with disbelief. After a moment she points her finger at me even as her eyes glass over.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” she sneers.

“You’re a grown ass woman and if you acted like it, I’d treat you like one. But you need to knock this shit off.” I gesture to her outfit. “You have a little girl upstairs. Would you want her dealing with her pain the way you are?”

The mention of Abbi is a low blow, but it’s about time I brought her up. She’s got a life with Abbi. A good one. One she should be proud of. She’s got money from Chris’ death that she could use to get a house of her own, and that could help her move on. But she hasn’t done shit with the money, except buy these clothes that barely fucking fit her.

Haley looks hurt for a moment, then turns slightly to look over her shoulder as my father walks into the room.

Yet another member of my family that I’m pissed at. I’m just pissed at everyone, it seems.

He crosses his arms and leans against the doorway, but doesn’t say anything. He should say something, though. This family never talks about a damn thing. I’m ready to talk, and they better be ready to listen.

Haley turns back to look at me and lowers her voice.

“You have no idea what it’s like,” she swallows thickly before continuing, “I lost the one man…”

Her voice cracks, and her shoulders hunch forward. I get up from the sofa and wrap her in my arms. She starts to push me away, her heels clicking loudly on the old wooden floor, but her gesture is weak.

“Let it out,” I say, gently rubbing her back. She tries to say something, tries to push me away, but she breaks down in my arms.

She loses it. She sobs into my chest. It’s been close to nine months now since Chris passed. Nine months of misery, of trying to navigate grief.

Nine months can be a long time, or a short time. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Sometimes it feels so long and guilt weighs against my chest that I could be moving on without him. Sometimes it’s been too soon and I can’t do a damn thing without hearing his voice in my head.

Tears still cloud my own eyes when I remember him. I was their best man. I’ll never forget how happy he was. Happy to be married to Haley, and happy for her to be carrying his baby girl.

Chris was a good man, and it’s terrible that Haley and Abbi lost him. I wish I could bring him back. But I can’t.

“I know, Haley. I know it hurts.”

She shakes her head, ruffling her hair, but doesn’t say anything.

“I do know. I was there, and I couldn’t do anything. I wish I could. I wish I could take it all back. I would, Haley. I’d take his place for you if I could.”

“Don’t say that,” she says weakly, not looking me in the eyes. I run my hand up and down her arm, holding her close.

“You gotta take care of yourself and Abbi, Haley. You gotta try to move on.”

“I can’t, Hunter,” Haley whimpers in my chest and pulls away, wiping under her eyes.

“You can, baby girl,” my father says. He walks over and rubs her back.

She takes in a ragged breath and gives him a hug, too. All the while he’s looking me in the eyes.

“Go on upstairs. I think you should stay in and maybe take a while to think about things?” Pops tells her.

She doesn’t argue as she walks away, taking in steadying breaths.

Pops watches her walk away. I don’t wait for him to say a damn word to me. I don’t need his advice. I’m pent up and feeling like shit. I need to get out of here.

I need Vi. I know with everything in me that I need her.

The sky’s a dark grey, making it feel later than it is. It’s spitting out rain and I can hear faint thunder coming in.

I hear my father yell out my name, but I don’t stop. I look over my shoulder as I open the door to the truck and see him standing on the porch, but I have nothing to say to him right now.

I hop in my truck without looking back. I try to push away the memories of Chris. The tires squeal on the wet road as I speed off to go see Vi.

I just need her. I don’t know what for, but right now I know I need my Vi. If she won’t have me as a lover, I’ll settle for a friend. I can only hope she’ll let me in. I need her.

I told Chris about her. He made a big deal of telling me I was a fucking idiot for throwing away what I had with her.

I pinch the bridge of my nose as I pull up to the red light at the end of the street and try to prevent the tears pricking my eyes from coming through at the memory.

I remember how he laughed at me. He said one day I'd see what a mistake I’d made. He was right. Fuck, I wish he was here now so I could tell him. I bang my fist on the steering wheel, hating what time has done to me.

I breathe out slow and steady and keep the bitch tears from surfacing as I pull up into the bakery parking lot.

Her car’s not there. Where the hell is she?

I pull in and get out, walking around the side where she came in the other night. The rain comes down a little harder, and the light in the sky dims.

I knock against her door with my fist. It’s clenched so tight, I think the skin will break with each pounding knock.

I need someone to lean on, and I want that someone to be Vi. But she’s not here.

I scream out her name and back up a few steps to look in her window. But it’s pointless. She’s gone. I don’t know where, but she’s not here.

My phone beeps in my pocket. The sky cracks with an angry bolt of lightning and the rain comes down harder, pounding against my head and shoulders, soaking my clothes.

I get in the truck and slam the door. I’m drenched, and somehow feeling worse than I did when I left.

I pull the phone from my pocket and look down, hoping it’s Vi like the fucking idiot that I am.

It’s a text from Jared.

---

Come to the bar, we’ll take care of the shop tomorrow.

---

I start up the car and try not to think about Vi or where she is right now.

A drink is exactly what I need.