I sit on the motel bed and try to figure out exactly what Deklan had just said.  The words bounce around inside my head, but they don’t make sense.

“I think I must have heard you wrong,” I finally say.

“I wish you had.”

“My…my father had me kidnapped?”  I stare at Deklan with my mouth hanging open.  “That doesn’t even make sense!  There was a ransom demand.  How does he demand ransom from himself?”

“Think, Kera.”  Deklan holds up a finger for each point he makes.  “Your father had no money, was in all kinds of debt to the Foleys and at least one other organization, and had no way to pay anyone back.  His debts were out of control.  He had nothing to bargain with except you.  If he could get Fergus to buy into it, he’d not only have the debt relieved, but he’d walk off with the ransom money as well.”

I want to scream at Deklan.  My father would never do such a thing!  He’d never endanger me for the sake of money, but it would be a lie, and Deklan knows it.  Nothing is more important to my father than gambling, and that requires money.

I wonder how many others he was indebted to besides the Foleys when he decided to concoct such a plan and if the ransom was just enough to pay everyone off.

“My father had me kidnapped.”  I let the words roll out of my mouth in a monotone—a hollow echo that takes residence in my heart.

“He planned it all.”  Deklan’s voice is soft, but I find nothing about it reassuring.  “Sean had been in trouble for a while, and your father found out about it.  Charlie Grange was feeding your father information that he was getting from someone in the Foley outfit.  He knew that Fergus wanted Sean to settle down and take responsibility.  All he needed was the right girl to pair up with Sean, and you fit perfectly.”

“Quite the plan.”  I want to cry, but no tears come out.

“Kidnap you and beg Fergus to save you in exchange for marrying Sean.”  Deklan abruptly pushes himself off the bed and begins to stalk around the room.  “I should have seen it.  I should have put two and two together when the topic came up—it was as if pairing you and Sean had already been discussed between Fergus and Cormick.  I should have realized right then and there when your father was so happy about the arrangement they made.  He was too happy.  He wasn’t worried about you at all.  I’m not sure he even cared what you were going through.  He was going to have his debt paid to the Foley family and get a pile of ransom money, to boot.”

“But the ransom wasn’t paid.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Because you rescued me instead.”

“Yes.”

“So how did Fergus Foley know where I was?”

Deklan stops pacing and looks over to me, shaking his head slowly.

“I’m not sure yet.  There’s a connection, but I don’t know where.  Charles Grange had to have been passing information between someone in the Foley organization and your father, but I can’t figure out who that is, and he’s not saying.”

“So, he’s really is still alive?”

“Yeah.”  Deklan doesn’t elaborate, and I wonder if Charles Grange might be wishing he were dead right now.  “Whoever his contact is, they must be holding something big over his head.  He won’t talk to save his life, but I’m not going to stop until I know who he’s been talking to in Foley’s outfit.”

“What if…what if it’s Sean?”  I can’t look at Deklan when I say the words.  I don’t want to see his reaction.  Instead, I stare at my hands and wait.

“I know Sean can be a little…trying,” Deklan says, “but he was only a kid when this started and far more interested in tallying up as many notches on his bedpost as possible.  Willing girls were plentiful.  I can’t see him bothering to take the time to kidnap you, and he can’t stand your father.  He wouldn’t have done business with him, not even back then.”

I can’t argue with Deklan’s logic.

“It has to be someone close in the organization,” Deklan says.  “There really aren’t that many of us.  I’m having a hard time coming up with any of them that would consider having my wife followed.  I didn’t think any of them would dare.”

“But one of them is working with my dad,” I say quietly.  I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all, and it’s causing my temples to throb.

I don’t want to think about any of this.

“He’s getting information from one of them,” Deklan says.  “Maybe not directly.  Maybe he’s paying someone to get information from someone else.  I don’t know.  I’m going to have to have Mac look into it.”

“What if it’s him?”

“Can’t be Mac…”  Deklan cuts himself off and grimaces.  He looks at me grimly.  “All right, Brian then.  He’s someone I know I can trust.”

“He’s like a brother.”

“Very much so.”

“Lucky for you, he’s not like a father.”  I can’t stop the venom in my voice.

Deklan reaches over and pulls me against his chest.  I press my cheek against his shirt and inhale, trying to concentrate on his smell instead of all the revelations in my head.

“You will never see him again,” Deklan says softly.

A cold feeling starts at the back of my head, creeps over my shoulders and down my spine.  I don’t have to ask Deklan what he means by that statement—I know exactly what he’s planning.

My initial reaction is to tell him not to do it.  I can’t sit back while he says “I’ll be back in a few minutes” and goes off to kill my father.

Can I?

“What about my mom?”

“What about her?”

“If…if Dad is gone, what’s going to happen to my mother?”

“If she had anything to do with it or even knows about it, I don’t give a fuck.”

I swallow hard.  I don’t want Mom dragged into any of this.  She was never a great parent, but she was a victim of her circumstances, just like I was.  She had to go along with whatever Dad wanted her to do.

My phone rings, and the sound startles me.  I didn’t realize I’d left it on after leaving Miss Jolly’s office.  Deklan glares at me, and I shrug apologetically as I check to see who is calling.

“It’s the coffee shop,” I say as I stare at the screen quizzically.  I answer before Deklan can tell me not to.  “Hello?”

“Kera?  It’s Terry.”

“Hey, Terry.  What’s up?”

“I just…well, I thought you should know that the police showed up here.  They were asking about you and your husband.  It’s Deklan, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, some detective named Warren was here asking a lot of questions.  He wanted to know where you live and about a guy named Charles Grange.  They say he’s missing.  Is that the weird guy who kept coming in here?  I told them I hadn’t seen him for a couple of days.”

“Um, wow, Terry,” I say as I glance at Deklan.  “That’s really strange.  Why would the police be asking about my husband?”

Dek glares at the phone.

“I guess someone called about an argument here,” Terry says.  “They said something about a fight in the alley, but I don’t know what they were talking about.”

“I don’t know either.  Thanks for keeping me in the loop though.”

I disconnect the call and relate Terry’s message to Deklan.  He immediately calls Brian and finds out the police were at our old apartment earlier in the day.

“It’s a good thing we left,” I say.  “Did you know they would be showing up?”

“I didn’t know for sure,” he says.  “I had a feeling though.  Grange has some ties to the police department.  I had a feeling he was going to be missed.”

“Are you going to let him go?”

“I don’t know.  I might have to, but I don’t like the idea.”

“Where is he now?”

“With Brian.”

“Vague.”  I fold my arms and give him a hard look, but I get no information regarding Grange’s whereabouts.  Instead, I get a subject change.

“Want to go see the new place?”

“Is it ready?”  Maybe if I can get him distracted with the new apartment, he’ll decide to talk some more.

“Let’s go find out.”

The new apartment is much bigger than the old one—newer, too.  It smells like fresh paint, and all the appliances are shiny.  I find a brand new Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom.

“That’s going to be fun,” Deklan says as he wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses my neck.  “I can think of all kinds of things I can do to you in there.”

“It’s big enough, you might actually be able to lie down!”

“That would be nice.  We’ll have to save it for later though.  Brian is on his way over with the stuff from the other apartment.”

Brian shows up with a trailer full of boxes from our old place.  While I unpack a couple of boxes of kitchen supplies, Brian takes Deklan aside.  I have to listen closely to hear their conversation.

“I had to ditch the cops on the way here,” Brian says.

“They were following you?”

“Yeah—they were at your old place.  Do you know how hard it is to ditch cops when you’ve got a trailer?”

“Did they question you?”

“Nah.  They were definitely looking for you, not me.”

“Are you sure you ditched them?” Deklan asks.

“Positive,” Brian says.  “I got on the freeway and kept close to a couple semis.  I got off on an exit, and they kept going.  I still drove around for a bit before heading this way, just in case.”

“Good deal.”

“Warren has got it out for you, boss.”

“I get that idea.”  Deklan scowls at Brian.  “And what’s with the ‘boss’ shit?  You been hanging around Mac too much, and he needs to cut that out.”

“He don’t trust Sean,” Brian says with a shrug.  “You earned your rep.”

“Dissension is never a good thing.  Don’t call me that, or you’re gonna slip up and say it in front of Sean.  How do you think he’ll take that?”

“Point.”  Brian rolls his eyes.  “I gotta get that trailer returned, but after that, you want me to take the Viper for the night and leave you with the rental?  You know they’ll be on the lookout for your car.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“Sweet!”

“Don’t wreck my car.”

“I won’t drive over ninety—I swear.”  Brian gives him a big smile.

“Sure you won’t.  The tank better be full when you bring it back.”

Brian waves at me as he heads out, and Deklan starts opening boxes and putting things away.  By the time Brian returns to exchange cars, I’ve had enough of unpacking.

“Want me to get some carryout?” Deklan asks.

“Ugh, not again.”  I bat my eyes at him.  “Can’t we go somewhere?  I can’t stand looking at boxes anymore.”

“I would prefer that you stay out of sight.”

“You can’t keep me locked up in here, Dek.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I’ll be with you,” I say.  “I can’t think of anyone better suited to keep me safe.”

“We do need to pick up some groceries.”  He reaches over and takes my chin between his fingers.  “How about a compromise?  We’ll go get what we need, and then I’ll make a nice dinner back here, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s okay.”  I check around the kitchen.  “I just hope we can find the silverware.”

“We’ll get plastic,” he says.  “We can even get some wine and try out the new tub.”

Deklan winks at me.

“Deal!”

Deklan has barely cooked anything aside from toast and soup since we’ve been married, and I’m surprised when he whips up a rather tasty lasagna and a fresh salad to go with it.  While sitting on the floor of the living room, we eat off paper plates and drink wine from plastic cups.  As he eats and drinks, Deklan starts talking more than usual.

“What are you going to do about that detective?” I ask, assuming I’ll get the usual brush-off.

“Warren is looking for anything to use against me at this point,” Deklan says as he shovels another plastic forkful of lasagna into his mouth.  “I’m gonna have to be a little more careful.  I can’t have Grange turning up dead now.”

“Can’t you just…just get rid of the body?”

“It’s not that easy.”  Deklan eyes me with a grim half smile.  “Eventually, they get found, and there’s always some kind of trace evidence if you know where to look.  It’s better to have the body found and have an alibi or someone else to blame it on.  Now that people have identified us as having an argument, I’ll be the prime suspect.”

“Like with Brian and the pimp,” I say.  “You left the evidence but made sure you had an alibi.”

“Exactly.  Once they have evidence to point toward one person, they have a hard time looking past that.  Even if they find something that links another person, getting a conviction becomes impossible, even with an attorney who sucks.  All you have to do is point out the inconsistent evidence, and you got your reasonable doubt.”

“So will you plan something like that again?”  It feels strange to be talking about such things so casually.

“Depends on him,” Deklan says with a shrug.  “If he talks, and the information checks out, he could be more useful alive.  I don’t know at this point.  If I find out he was planning on hurting you…”

Deklan grits his teeth.  A moment later, the plastic fork snaps in half, and I fetch him another one.

“I shouldn’t be telling you all of this,” Deklan mumbles.

“I’m glad you are.”  I reach over and touch the back of his hand.  “I need to know, Deklan.  It’s keeping me in the dark that makes everything dangerous.”

“You scare the shit out of me.” Deklan shakes his head slowly as he tosses the fork onto the plate and leans back.  “Do you know that?”

“I don’t think I’m that big of a threat to you.”

“Oh, how wrong you are.  You are the biggest threat I’ve ever had in my life.”

“Why do you say that?”

“The job is the only thing I’ve cared about since I was a teenager.  I’ve worked for the Foley family, done a lot of their dirty work, and made sure they were protected.  Nothing else mattered to me…not until you.”

“And that’s bad?”

“If anyone understood how I feel about you, they could use it against me.”  Deklan turns his hand over and interlocks our fingers.  “It makes me vulnerable.”

“Because someone could get to you through me.”

“That’s part of it, yes.”

“What else?”

Deklan pauses and stares down at his empty plate.  After a moment, he pushes himself off the floor and starts to pace.

“I’ve never had to…had to balance before.”  Deklan runs his fingers through his hair.  “Anything and everything I did had a single focus—Fergus Foley.  Now, everything is different.”

“Because of me.”

“Not entirely,” Deklan says, “but yeah, it’s mostly you.”

I look away from him as my chest tightens.  I can feel pressure behind my eyes, and I take a few deep breaths to make it stop.

Deklan turns on his heel and quickly makes his way to me.  He shoves the paper plates out of the way, drops to his knees front of me, and takes my hands in his.

“And I wouldn’t trade that for anything,” he says.  “It just means I have some adjustments to make in my thinking.”

“What kind of adjustments?”

“I can usually think calmly about things,” Deklan says.  “I can rationalize and figure out the best course of action without a lot of emotion, but when it comes to you…well, I just can’t think clearly.”

I stare into his eyes, trying to read his expression.  He’s not angry—I can see that—but he doesn’t seem happy, either.

“Is that such a bad thing?” I ask.  “Aren’t you supposed to be emotional when it comes to your wife?”

“It has the potential to be bad,” he says.  He grabs my chin when I try to look away from him.  “Being emotional about you isn’t bad, but it could turn into something dangerous for us both.”

“I can be used against you.”

“I’m confident I can keep you safe from that.”

“Then what has you so worried?”

“I’m worried that I might do something stupid.”

I need a better explanation, and he knows it.  I keep staring at him until he clarifies.

“Do you know how bad I want to go after Arden for you?  Even though I know I wouldn’t stand a chance, I want to do it just so you can have closure.  Rationally, it’s an idiotic thing to do and would likely get us both killed, but I’ve considered taking the risk more than once.”

“I don’t want you to risk yourself,” I tell him.  “I never meant for you to do that.  When…when I saw Kathy lying there and…and…”

“I know.”  Deklan strokes the side of my face.

“I never should have asked you to do that.”

“You were in so much pain, it hurt just to look at you.  I wanted to fix it.  I wanted to take that pain away.  I still do.”

“I don’t want you to put yourself in danger.”

“But I would,” Deklan says quietly.  “Don’t you see?  I’d do anything for you, and that’s what scares me.”