“Um…okay, boss.  I’ll get it done.”  Brian closes his burner phone and looks over at me warily.

“What is it?”  I stop hauling kitchen towels out of a box and look over at him.

After two weeks of Deklan’s delving into who knew about my kidnapping, he’s been surly and quick-tempered.  I wasn’t very upset when he said he was going away for a couple of days and that Brian would be around if I needed anything.  I was ready for a break.

“It’s Sean,” Brian says.  “He needs me to go do something, and he wants it done now.”

“So, go do it.”

“I gotta get ahold of Deklan.  I’m not supposed to leave you.”

“I can survive a little while on my own.  Can’t you have Mac or someone stop by?”

“No one else knows about this place,” Brian says.  “That’s how Dek wants it.  No one knows, not even Mac.”

Brian tries for a good ten minutes but can’t reach my husband.

“Shit,” he mumbles.

“Just go,” I say.  “Really—I’ll be fine.  I could use a little alone time anyway.”

“Sorry, Mrs. K.  I don’t mean to be in the way.”

“I know you don’t.  But I can hear your snoring from the bedroom.”

Brian is tense and uncertain about leaving but finally goes to do Sean’s bidding, and I got back to my unpacking and organizing.  I want to get it all done tonight so I don’t have to think about it anymore.

The noise from the television is my only company as I move the plates and bowls from one cabinet to another—again.  I can’t seem to find the perfect place for them in the new kitchen.  It’s much bigger than the one in the old apartment, and there are too many choices of location.  There is even a second bedroom that’s completely empty, and I have no idea what we’ll do with it.  Maybe we can turn it into a guest room for Brian.  With an actual bed to sleep in, maybe he wouldn’t snore as much.

I’m actually starting to miss Brian’s presence a bit.  As much as I thought I wanted some alone time, I miss having someone else around.

All the boxes are unpacked, and all the furniture is in place.  There isn’t a coffee shop in walking distance of the new apartment, but Deklan said we would talk about getting me my own car when he returned.

I’m not sure how I’m going to approach getting my old job back.  It’s hardly convenient now, and Deklan’s paranoia hasn’t waned.  Nothing has changed about my feelings on the subject—I need somewhere to go, something to do, and somebody to see.  I hope I don’t have to convince my husband of that fact all over again.

I yawn and glance at the clock.  It’s much later than I realized.  I look up into the cabinet once more, decide the dishes are as organized as they are going to get, and close the cabinet door.

I hear a beep from the burner phone on the counter.  It’s a message from Brian saying Deklan has been delayed and won’t be returning until tomorrow.  As I’m reading it, the phone actually rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mrs. K.  It’s Brian.”

“Hey, Brian.”

“I was about to head back your way, but the boss wants me to do one more thing for him.  I should be back late tonight, but I don’t wanna wake you.  I’ll just park outside and watch the place from the car.”

“That’s fine.”

“I figured.”  Brian laughs.  “I know you didn’t like me sleeping on the couch.”

“You were fine.”

“Uh huh.”  He makes an exaggerated snoring sound, and we both laugh.  “I’ll see ya in the morning, Mrs. K.”

“See ya then.”

I head to the bathroom for a shower.  The bathroom in the new place is awesome all around, but my favorite part is the huge rainfall showerhead.  I can stand under it for an hour and just let it pour over me.  The stall is also big enough for both Deklan and me to shower together, and the ceiling is high enough that Deklan doesn’t have to duck to keep from hitting the showerhead.

The lavender scented soap makes me even sleepier than I was before.  I stumble out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me and crawl straight into bed.  Once I’m under the sheets, I pull the towel off and toss it in the general direction of the bathroom.  I’ll pick it up tomorrow.

I shiver, suddenly wishing I’d kept hold of the towel.  The bed is insanely big without Deklan in it.  The sheets are cold, too.  All I can think about is how much I want to feel his body next to mine and envelop myself in the heat.

Yes, I had welcomed a little break from Deklan and his sour mood, but I miss him now.  In fact, I feel very alone and vulnerable at the moment.  Brian was right—I wasn’t happy about him sleeping on the couch while Deklan was gone—but now I wish I could hear his snoring.

Mostly, I want my husband back.

Tears fall as I grab Deklan’s pillow and hold it to my chest.  I wish it smelled more like him, but laundry had been done the day before he left, and the pillowcase just smells like detergent.  I stare into the darkness until the tears dry up, and exhaustion takes over.

At some point in the night, I wake, freezing.

I’m still gripping Dek’s pillow, but the blankets are all on the floor.  I’ve never kicked them off like that before, and I wonder what I had been dreaming about.  I shiver as I climb out of bed to retrieve the blankets.

A soft click from the other room captures all my attention.

“Brian?” I call out softly but get no answer.

My heart begins to pound.  I call his name a little louder, but there is no reply.  I grab the end of the sheet and hold it to my chest as I tiptoe to the nightstand and grab the gun concealed inside.  I check the barrel, just like Deklan taught me, to make sure there’s a round in the chamber.  I peer around the edge of the door, but I don’t see or hear anything.

Stepping out into the kitchen, I can see there is no one else is in the apartment, but I can feel another presence.  I sniff the air, almost positive there is a hint of cologne, but neither Deklan nor Brian wears any.  Maybe no one is here now, but I’m sure someone was.  I check the apartment door and find the deadbolt unlocked.

I turn it quickly as my heart pounds in my chest.  I’m pretty sure I locked it before I went to bed.  Then again, it’s a new place, and I’m not comfortable here yet.  Maybe I did forget.  Maybe the noise I heard was the refrigerator or the furnace.

I consider calling Deklan, but I’m not even sure what I’d say to him, and I don’t want to give him something else to worry about.  I could call Brian, but if I did, he would tell Deklan all about it.  If he told Dek, Brian would be in trouble for sleeping in the car.  For all I know, it was Brian who stopped in to grab something he forgot, and that was the noise I heard.

What about the cologne smell?

I swallow hard.  I glance at the gun to make sure my finger isn’t on the trigger.  My hands are shaking, and I’m going to end up shooting the refrigerator if I’m not careful.  I sniff the air again, but the scent is not as noticeable as it was just a minute ago.  Maybe I imagined it.  Maybe it was just something left over from whatever nightmare I was having.  Regardless, if I call anyone, I would just sound needy and paranoid.

I shake my head, return to the bedroom, and drag the blankets back onto the bed.  Instead of lying back down, I sit in the center of the bed with the gun still in my hands, listening carefully.

An hour passes.  I hear nothing and feel ridiculous.  After placing the gun on top of the nightstand, I lie back down and pull the covers up to my chin.  I stare at the doorway, but it’s too dark to see much.

I grab the gun and jump out of the bed, quickly running to the bathroom and turning the light on so it floods the hallway.  I rush back to the bed and sit, holding the gun again.

You are being ridiculous.

Everything that has happened has me so worked up, I’m not thinking straight.  Kathy being killed, finding out about my father and the creepy stalker—it’s all been too much.  I’m on overload, and I need to get this shit out of my head.

I take several deep breaths until my heart finally stops racing.  I slowly place the gun back in the nightstand drawer and force myself to lie down and close my eyes.

Sleep doesn’t come quickly.