I’m pressed up against the kitchen counter.  We’ve been in the apartment about nine seconds, but Deklan’s hands and lips are all over me.

“I need you.”  His words warm my ear, but his pleading tone and frantic hands set me on edge.  “Please, Kera.”

“Yes,” I whisper.

He yanks my shirt up over my head and then kisses from my neck to my shoulder as he pulls at the button on my jeans.  I place my hands on his shoulders for support as he yanks my jeans down my legs.

He’s been like this before—a sudden, overwhelming need to be inside of me consumes him, and all I can do is give myself to him completely.

Leaving my clothing on the floor in the kitchen, Deklan hauls me into the bedroom and throws me on the mattress as he nearly tears his shirt and pants off.  He’s on top of me a moment later and inside of me a moment after that.  I gasp and tighten my fingers on his arms as he enters—I’m not quite ready to take him in.  He leans his forehead against my shoulder and stills himself.  His light kisses against my skin apologize for the roughness of his strokes.

His breaths are labored and accompanied by rhythmic grunts that match my own.  I’m bouncing wildly on the bed, and I can’t steady myself enough to get my legs around him to hold on better.  I give up, lay back, and just let him fuck me.

He needs it.  I need it.  It’s the only way to stop thinking about everything else that’s happening.

I try to relax, but he’s going so deep, it almost hurts.  It’s a good hurt—a deep and overwhelming feeling of being wanted, needed, desired.  I feel my stomach quiver, and it sends a shockwave through my legs.  I press my thighs against his hips as the cascade of sensation hits me, and I cry out.

He slows for a moment, adjusts his hand on my hip, and begins to pull me to him with each thrust.  With a loud cry, he buries himself and fills me.

Deklan’s hands and arms tremble, and he collapses on top of me.  I take the weight and wrap my arms around him, holding his head to my shoulder.  After a moment, he rolls off, and I gasp again as his cock slips from me.  I’m going to be sore tomorrow.

He lies on his back with one arm under his head, staring at the ceiling.  His breathing has returned to normal, but his jaw is still tight.

“Are you all right?” I ask softly.  I lay my head against his shoulder and look at his face, but he doesn’t turn toward me.

“No,” Deklan says, “not really.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”  Deklan slides his arm under my shoulders and pulls me closer.  His chest rises as he takes in a deep breath.  “Teag is right—I’ve been blind to Sean’s behavior.  I didn’t want to see it and acknowledge it for what it is.  I kept thinking he was just…just…I don’t know.  Getting his bearings, I guess.  Learning to run the family business.  I feel like an idiot, and I put you in danger.  I’m not sure I can forgive myself for that.”

“I don’t blame you.”  I snuggle against his chest and wrap my arm around his waist.  “I should have told you what he said to me before now.”

“Fergus was fine the day before he went into the hospital,” Deklan says.  “Even when he said he was going to see the doctor, he told me he thought the clams he’d had the night before must have been off and that he’d be fine.  The next thing I knew, he was gone.  I should have seen it.  He had always been in peak health.  I should have realized something wasn’t right.”

“How old was he?”

“Sixty-four.  Too young.”

We lie together quietly as the room darkens with the setting sun.  I can tell Deklan isn’t sleeping, but he doesn’t seem to want to talk, and I’m all right with that.  I don’t know what to say.

After an hour of just lying there, Deklan pulls his arm out from under me and gets out of bed.  I watch him walk out the bedroom door, assuming he’s going to pee, but he bypasses the bathroom and disappears down the hallway.  After a few minutes, I follow.

Deklan’s standing on the small balcony of the apartment, leaning against the rail and staring at the street below.  The sliding door is still open, so I walk up quietly, slip my arms around his waist, and rest the side of my head against his back.

“I wish I had some weed.”  Deklan chuckles through his nose.

“You smoke weed?”

“Not for a while, but I have.”  He glances at me briefly before looking back down at the street.  “Usually being with you is enough, but right now, I could use something else to relax me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”  He turns and wraps his arms around me.  “I’m grateful you put up with me when I’m like that.  I don’t mean to take my frustration out on you, but you take it anyway even when I’m a little too rough.”

“I don’t mind.”  I smile up at him.  “I kinda like it, really.”

“Do you now?”  Deklan raises an eyebrow.

“Yes.”  I can feel myself blushing.  I look away and off to the buildings in the distance.

“I owe you a nice, long bath,” he says.  “I’ll even throw in bubbles.”

“I’d like that, too.”

“It will be all about you,” he says as he places his hand on my cheek and turns my head to face him.  “Warm water, massage, and at least three orgasms.”

“You’ll have to warm up the water a few times if you are going to keep me in there that long.”  I giggle.

“Done.”  He kisses me softly and strokes his finger across my cheek.  “I really don’t know if I could cope with all of this if you weren’t here.”

“It probably wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for me.”

“Not true.”  Deklan shakes his head.  “I’m finally seeing that.  You are the excuse, but not the reason.  Sean’s crazy, and he would have made this happen with or without you.  He would have found a reason to kill his father and take over the business early even if you were never part of the equation.  I don’t know if he’s hungry for the power, the money, or if he’s just plain nuts, but don’t ever blame yourself.”

I nod and try to believe his words.  It’s difficult not to feel responsible, but I also agree with him.  Sean is crazy.  He will always find a reason to justify whatever he does.

“Are you really going to take over the Foley business?” I ask.

“It’s what Teagan wants,” Deklan says with a shrug.  “I never had any plans to do this, but if this is what she wants, I’ll do it.  If she ever changes her mind, I’ll give it back.  I want to do what Fergus would have wanted, and I think he’d want it to go to her.”

“It sounds like he thought of you as a son as well.”

“I don’t know.  Teagan might think of me as a brother, but I only worked for her father.”

“You were important to him.”

“I got the job done.”

“From what Teagan said, it seems like it was more than that.”

Deklan licks his lips and stares up at the sky.  It’s a clear night, and though there is a lot of light pollution, a few stars can be seen, and the moon is full and bright.  Deklan focuses on the moon for a moment before he speaks.

“I barely remember my own father,” he says quietly.  “The only picture I have is the one used in the article about the break-in and murders. Sometimes, when I can’t remember my dad’s face, I have to look at that article.”

“Can I see it?”

Deklan looks at me for a long moment before nodding.  We go back inside, and Deklan pulls a small box from the top of the bedroom closet.  Inside the box is the faded newsprint article about the Kearney family deaths.

I swallow hard as I look at the picture under the headline.  It must have been taken for a Christmas card—everyone is dressed up.  Four-year-old Deklan is in a tiny suit and bowtie, and he smiles up at the camera like the world is full of puppies and rainbows.

“Don’t cry,” Deklan says softly.

“I can’t help it.”  I wipe the tears from my eyes and sniff as I hand the article back to him.  “You look so happy.”

“I remember being happy.”  Dek places the article back in the box and the box back on the shelf in the closet.  “All those memories are pretty vague now though.  I think the next time I felt happy was when Fergus asked me to work for him.”

“And he became your surrogate father.”

“I suppose so.”

“You loved him.”  I tilt my head and watch his expression.  He closes his eyes for a moment and presses his lips together.

“Yeah,” he finally says, “I did.”

“And you are going to take care of the person who killed him, regardless of who it is, and you’re going to take care of his business as he would have wanted you to.”

Deklan looks at me, blinks a few times, and then smiles.

“You’re right,” he says.  “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”