Tess
“Thanks.” I nodded at the doorman who handed me an all-access pass to hang around my neck. Trigger, Langley, Brick, and Rail all came to the event before the rest of us.
I was told to wait for the all-clear back at the house with Gus. He seemed to hover around me the entire morning. I have never seen him this way. He kept asking if I needed anything or if I wanted a drink. It didn’t take me long to see he was the one who needed one.
Even on the car ride there, he checked his phone a million times, and his fucked-up knee bounced out of control.
“Shit, Gus.” Big Joe shook his head across the limo from us. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were the fucking mole.”
The entire car went silent.
“Poor taste,” Gus muttered as he stared out the window. He was right, though. It wasn’t the time to go there. We needed to get through today.
Jace covered his face and sighed. “I don’t think I have ever been this nervous over someone else fighting.”
“Trigger will win.” Cooper poured himself another brandy.
The dude was feeling no pain today. I guessed we all coped differently.
The guys hopped out, but when I reached for the door handle, Gus hauled me back in and locked the doors.
“What the hell?” I whirled around and looked for an exit plan.
Cooper looked panicked and called to the other guys.
“Tess!” He grabbed my hands so I would make eye contact. “I did something. Something bad.”
“Gus, if you’re the mole, you’re about to break my heart. You’re like a dad to Trigger and to me.” Why on earth I admitted that now was beyond me.
“Are you fucking kidding me? I love Trigger like he’s my kid, and you too.” He rubbed his face like he was weighing his decision. “I found her.” He paused so I could connect the dots.
“Who?”
“His mother.”
Oh, shit. I looked over my shoulder at the guys waiting by the door. Cooper was the only one who wouldn’t take his eyes off the car. I motioned to him that everything was okay.
“Why were you looking for her?”
“No one can get through to Trigger. She was my last try.”
“Gus,” I fought for the right words, “do you really think it’s smart to bring her in at this time to fuck with his head?”
“What choice do I have? The fight starts in an hour.”
I leaned forward and took his hands. “Why are you really so nervous about this fight? What are you not telling me?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.” I squared my shoulders to show I was ready.
“I watched that boy become something big, and never once did he get cocky. He fought, he won, he lived that life. But every punch, every blow, every victory pushed him into a dark place. He fucks with fate, doesn’t feel the fear, just rides full speed ahead. He’ll look at you differently, Tess, and it will hurt. That something you have between you two will fizzle out. He’ll flip off his humanity switch, and you’ll grow tired of waiting for him to return. That’s what you’ll feel.”
I could tell by his tone he had more to say.
“What about you? What will you feel?”
“I will lose my nephew, the club will have a ruthless leader, and my sons will lose their father.”
My head snapped back at that last statement.
“Come on, Tess.” He shrugged one shoulder. “He’s been more of a father to my boys than I have. They weren’t planned. Vib just needed an anchor to the club, and I’m weak when it comes to her. They need him. I need him, and I cannot believe I found my sister.”
“Hold on.” I felt twenty different things fire off at once. “I thought you were Allen’s brother?”
“Nope.” He raised his head a little higher. “She is my sister. I hung out at the strip joint where she worked.”
“Ahh.” I couldn’t help but be freaked out by that.
“No,” he made a disgusted face, “it’s not like that at all, but she is only a half-sister.”
“Doesn’t make it better.”
He huffed, but the humor quickly faded. “I watched over her. I knew Allen was shitty from the moment he walked in, but my sister saw what you saw in Trigger. Tall, hot, brooding.” He rolled his eyes. “He pursued her until she gave in. He was relentless. I warned her he would fuck and chuck, and that’s exactly what happened. She really thought he’d come back after she told him she was pregnant. Instead, he ran, and that’s when she started to go down the rabbit hole. She was always on coke, but it was the speed that did her in. She couldn’t handle the baby. I was useless when it came to the kid. All I did was worry about her, and one day she came home without him. She packed up her stuff and left. I never saw her again.”
His eyes saddened, and he looked down at the floor, lost in his thoughts. “Took me a year to find him. Trigger was about one and half by then. Fucking cute little thing, big dark eyes and a mop of hair to match. Allen didn’t want me around at first. Took me a long time to show him I only wanted to be a part of the boy’s life. I was in and out of prison for a while, doing stupid shit. But I came back,” he whispered more to himself. “I always came back.”
I shook my head to try to shake the visions clear. “I had…wow. How did you find her? I mean, does she even want to see him?”
“Anyone can be found eventually. You just need to know who to ask.” He massaged his knee and winced. “She’s clean, at least she seems to be. I know I’m playin’ with fire here, but this whole thing…” He pointed to the windowless building. “I know it’s going to be something bad. Allen’s planning something. Nothing is ever what it seems with him.”
Fuck. I didn’t know what to think. His mother could throw him over the edge. What if Allen saw her? What would he do?
“Where is she?”
“She’s inside.”
“Does Brick know about this?”
“Brick knows some things about it, but he thinks she’s a friend of mine. That’s all. I might need you to run interference. Will you help me?”
Fuck!
“Yes.”
“Good.” He leaned forward, unlocked the door, and motioned for me to get out.
“This way.” Gus pointed down the hallway. As we got closer, the sound of the crowd grew louder, and my anxiety kicked in bigtime. It was a cocktail of nerves, fear, excitement, sadness, and, I couldn’t deny it, a little hope.
“Hey,” Gus stopped me at the door, “if anything happens tonight, please remind Trigger of Mr. Rabbit.”
“Huh?”
Gus pushed the door open, and there stood a woman with long black hair, dark eyes, and prefect teeth. There were signs of drug use, but she was extremely pretty, and she was the spitting image of Trigger.
“Hi.” She extended her hand and waited for me to do the same.
“Tess.” I glanced at Rail, who was devouring a chocolate bar like it was a one-night stand. He stood there completely oblivious to what was happening around him.
Men.
“She’s a friend of Gus’s,” Brick chimed in from across the room. “Guess she was in town or something.”
Finally! I knew I could count on my best friend to feel the strangeness of the situation. He gave me a worried look as he pushed off the wall and headed for the door. “Tess, you should see if Trigger needs anything.”
“Oh.” Elizabeth eyed me a little more closely, and the corners of her mouth raised. “Are you and my son dating?”
Gus flinched bedside me, and Brick nearly tripped into Rail, who was still busy with the wrapper of the bar.
“What the fuck?” Brick blurted. “What the fuck did you guys do?”
“I didn’t,” I started, but stopped. I didn’t want to toss Gus under the bus, not when he was legitimately trying to help.
“Brick,” Langley stuck his head in the door, “I need more tape.”
“Get some Gatorade,” Trigger ordered behind him.
Oh, shit. It was like a snowball gaining speed as it came toward us. Just as I turned to get the hell out of its path, Trigger walked in, and I froze to the spot.
“Hey.” He started to give me his lazy smile but stopped when he felt the mood. His eyes flickered over to his mother, and his brows pinched together. It would be impossible for him to remember her, but not impossible to see they were related. He was looking in a damn mirror, for shit’s sake.
“Do you know who I am?” she said softly.
“I do.”
“Good.” She let out a small breath.
“Is it?” he challenged.
“I get it, you’re mad at me—”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Why now? Why here?” She started to speak, but he squeezed my hip and urged me out the door before she could convince him to stay. “I will not feed more to those…” he hit the side of his head hard, “savages!”
Once outside, he pulled out his phone and headed in the opposite direction.
“Don’t go back in there.”
“I won’t,” I assured him and waited for him to leave before I went to find Brick to see just how bad this shit storm had become.
***
Trigger
The bottle called my name. It dangled from my fingers, but I knew better. I didn’t abuse drugs, but right now I could use a hit of something. I needed my head clear, but my mother showing up threw me off center in a major way.
Shit.
I snatched up my phone and texted Tess.
Trigger: Where are you?
Nothing.
I switched screens and called her.
Nothing.
Fuck.
I tried calling two more times before I turned and caught my cold, dark reflection in the mirror. My tortured soul stared back at me from the glass, and a dark aura hovered around me like a shadow. Was there ever going to be an end to all of this?
With all my might, I swung back and smashed the bottle into the mirror and watched as bits of clear and green glass sprayed into the air like blood.
My temper rose as I lunged at the door. I could not believe my mother was really here right now.
“Where is Tess?” I barked at Langley while he tried desperately to look over my shoulder at the mystery guest who had just flipped my world upside down fifteen minutes before my fucking fight.
Wrong room, Langley.
“Trigger, I didn’t mean to—”
I whirled around and jammed a finger in my uncle’s face. I wanted to snap his neck for what he did. For the second time in my life, he flinched at my reaction. My arm dropped, and I covered my face to calm myself. The first time was when he saw me covered in bruises after my first fight. I guessed he thought he had failed me as a protector, and to be truthful, he did. I never blamed him. I wasn’t his problem. He wasn’t the one who gave birth to me then tossed me aside, and he wasn’t the one who left the scars on my body. He was an uncle who dropped by to check on me occasionally. He was the one, however, who had become more of a father to me than my own ever had. He was the one who was there when he saw I was heading down an even darker path, and the one, after all, who suggested I kill my father.
“I had to do something,” he whispered and stepped back into line with the guys.
“We need to talk. Just give me a second.” I couldn’t do this here.
“What the hell is going on?” Langley snapped, clearly annoyed. “You disappear minutes before the fight, there’s some chick in there with you, and now you’ll be going in cold! Are you trying to kill me?”
I turned. “Where’s Tess?”
“And now you’re thinking about pussy?”
“You mean that blonde with the great rack?” the little shit who carried our stuff chimed in. “She’s talking to some guy by your room.”
I did a quick sweep of my guys and saw they were all here. Pushing past Rail, I raced down the hallway. People pressed into the wall to get out of my way.
“Trigger, wait,” Jace called out, a bunch of girls surrounding him. “These ladies want to meet you.”
Turning the corner, I came to a stop and saw her reading something on her phone. She must have sensed me, because she looked up.
I grabbed her by the waist and hauled her into the empty room, slamming the door in Langley’s pissed off face.
“Are you okay?” She touched my face as I stood over her, trapping her against the wall.
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and fought my way through the darkness, using her scent to guide me.
“You’re scaring me a little, here,” she whispered. “Speak to me.”
I opened my eyes, and for the first time in my life, I felt something other than pain and emptiness.
“I love you, Tess.” I shook my head in disbelief that I could finally see it so clearly. “I love you so much that the idea of anyone hurting you, or even flirting with you, makes me want to snap every limb on their body very slowly. I’m sorry I didn’t see it before, but I need you to know I’m here now, and I want all of you.”
She blinked, and I was sure I threw her off course, but I didn’t care.
“You’ve already had me.” She kissed me in the dirty way she did. When we came up for air, I pressed my forehead to hers to catch my breath.
“But,” I paused, knowing this would set her back, “I need to fight now.”
She tensed, and I pulled back so she could see my face.
“I need you to trust me on this.”
“I do trust you, Trigger, but I’m with Gus. Something is not right here. Do you really think he’s going to just fight and be done?”
“No, I don’t. But I need to do this.”
“Tell me,” she blurted, and I knew exactly what she was referring to.
I held my arm next to hers, so her key lined up with my skeleton wrapped in chains. The angle allowed the key to fit the padlock.
“You free me.”
Her lips parted as her fingers slowly drew over my arm.
“I can’t believe I never made the connection.”
I held her head in my hands. “Give me tonight, and I’ll give you the rest.”
I didn’t wait for her answer before I peeled away and out the door. If she had said no, I didn’t think I could fight.
“Ready?” Langley mouthed through the sea of people shouting behind the main doors.
I nodded but looked back to see Tess standing next to Gus. Both looked very unhappy. Gus leaned over and whispered something to her, and she nodded with her eyes on the ground.
When she looked over, I gave her a wink. Her eyes lit up, but I knew the trouble that still stormed inside her, and it wouldn’t take a lot for it to brew to the surface.
I reached out to grab her hand and tugged her to my side once more.
“No,” Langley shouted. “Your fans don’t want to see her. They want you. Bad marketing move, Trigger.”
“Don’t care,” I grunted and pushed the steel doors open. Cameras flashed from all directions, and fluorescent lights beat down on my shoulders. I felt my shoes squish on the rubber mat, and my hearing tuned in and out of the insane crowd ahead of me. Tess flexed her grip and stepped closer as I urged her forward down the ramp to the ring.
Eighty percent of the crowd were my old fans, and the rest were new. I recognized the black t-shirts my father had made up many years ago when I was at the top.
“Flip your switch” ran across the front in red letters, and “Trigger” was underneath.
The buildup started in the pit of my stomach. The warmth invaded my veins and sent a steroid shot to my system.
I was back.
I pointed to a chair and leaned in next to her ear. “Stay here.”
She nodded and took the chair next to Brick, and he wrapped his arm around her for comfort.
She mouthed, “Good luck.”
I locked eyes with her once more then broke away. I could feel the fear radiating off her. I was aware of my habit after a fight, that I’d disappear into another dimension, but now I knew I had a reason to come back.
I needed to get my head in this now, one hundred percent, before I stepped up the stairs.
Langley lifted the ropes, and I ducked under and did a turn for the crowd. I was never an attention seeker, nor was I now, but I felt they deserved a little attention considering it had been nearly two decades since I stepped foot in the ring.
The vibrations of the crowd traveled up the length of my body, powering everything to the max. It was like when you started a carnival ride. The lights flickered on, and you could hear the beast of the engine start with a roar.
I have been awakened.
The announcer spoke, but only his mouth moved. I whirled around, waiting for the devil to show its ugly head.
It was time.
I saw Jace and Rail lean over and say something to Tess. She looked unsure but stood. I didn’t have time to think as the crowd went crazy. The energy in the room swirled around like a wild dirt devil, and there he was.
He stood just shy of a foot away from me. He wasn’t as built, but he was lean. I never underestimated Allen and what he brought to the table, and I wasn’t about to now.
“Son,” he greeted me, and I felt the same rush of hate I got when I was younger. Instead of letting it fester into fear, I channeled it into fuel.
He made sure to glance over at the ropes like he always did, when he’d lean over them and wait like the reaper. He was referring to my tattoo. Death is never far.
The announcer, dressed in a flashy suit, stepped into the center of the ring, lifted his hand, and waited for the mic to lower from the ceiling.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome!” I was momentarily deafened by the roar of the thirsty crowd.
His mouth started to move again, but I had my eyes on my father, who wore an evil smirk. If I concentrated, I could snap back to twenty years ago when he loomed over me with the same expression.
Suddenly, my father raised his hand and stepped over to the announcer. The man bowed and got out of the way.
“Damn, it’s good to be back!” He egged on the crowd, and they went wild for this sideshow act. “Now, let’s be honest, here.” He did a spin, making sure to show his respect. “This,” he waved between us, “isn’t a fair fight. I’m sixty-three, and he’s thirty-six. That’s a twenty-seven-year difference.” The crowd booed, but he held his hand up, and a cold feeling washed over me. “So, I thought to myself, who would be wild enough to go up against my son? The boy who killed his own father? Well,” he patted himself down, “almost.”
I looked around to connect the dots, but I didn’t see anyone come in from his door, and no one was waiting around the ring.
“Son?” My father’s voice snapped my attention back to him. His arms were stretched out, his hands raised like some kind of prophet.
Just when I thought I couldn’t be any more betrayed, I saw my childhood anchor whip off his t-shirt and pants and his raise his fists to start.
“Why?” was all that came out.
“Money can make you do a lot of things, son.” Langley shrugged and nodded at my father, who slipped between the ropes and whispered something to the announcer.
“Place your new bets now!” screamed over the mic.
I gave in to the dark hole that opened at my feet. I had been betrayed before, but this cut to the core. Langley was the only one I thought ever cared. He had tried to protect me from my father. What the fuck had changed?
“You gonna fight me or stand there?”
I vaguely noticed the bell ringing, and my arms shot up to block my face.
Langley moved in to throw a punch, but I leaned back, and it fell short. I counterpunched with my right. I moved toward him, but he expected that and threw a kick to my ribcage and followed through with a left. Fuck, he knew all my moves. He was the one who trained me.
I threw a left, a right, an uppercut, and Langley moved back out of the way to the corner. I grabbed him around the chest and held him, throwing my knee toward his stomach. Langley blocked my knee with his arms.
I had to come up with a move he wouldn’t expect. I had to slow the fight down to think. I pushed off him and threw my elbow desperately into his face, cutting him above the right eye, then stepped back and turned with a three-hundred-sixty-degree roundhouse swing. Langley anticipated me by ducking and countered with another kick to my ribs, then threw a left, right, left, opening a cut above my eye. He followed that with a kick to my thigh, buckling my knee, and as I fell forward, he kneed me in the face, busting my nose. Blood streamed down my face. Shit, he was all over me. I fell into the ropes, and Langley stepped back, knowing if he grabbed me, I would be able to overpower him. So, he switched up and threw another kick to my thigh. I knew I had to get into the game fast. My head was ringing.
Langley threw a couple of left jabs, followed with a right that rocked me backward, and sent a kick to my ribs, but this time I grabbed his leg and knocked him off balance to the canvas. I jumped on him and threw a couple of punches. He grabbed me and pulled himself up close to my chest, so I couldn’t get a swing at him. I dropped an elbow hard into his already bloody face.
Suddenly, I heard hands slamming against the canvas and Brick roaring, “Trigger, end this shit. They got Tess!”
“What the fuck?” Langley escaped from the hold when I lost my concentration to scan the crowd for Tess. Her seat was empty. Langley threw a kick at my face, spraying blood over the spectators.
Punch, punch, punch. I turned into a robot. Kick, kick, kick.
One of my punches hit air, and I shook my head, confused. The darkness faded into grays, and I saw Langley on the ground, unconscious.
The announcer raced over and checked his neck while I searched the ring’s perimeter for my father.
He was gone, but what caught my eye was Zay. He was climbing the steps to go outside. What the fuck was he doing here?
I felt a stab to the gut and whirled as Brick’s words hit me like a wall. Tess was gone. I vaguely heard the results. “Our victor! Trigger!”