Colt and I were meeting after work this evening for dinner. I found myself spending extra time in my closet this morning trying to pick out something that looked lovely. I settled on an ocean blue dress with a plunging neckline, black stockings, and black knee-high heeled boots. I pulled on my wool coat and headed to work.

I sped through my day, excited about meeting Colt for dinner. When five o’clock rolled around, I was out the door. Traffic wasn’t terrible, but it still slowed me down in areas. Thankfully, I made it on time and pulled into the valet.

I saw Colt sitting in the bar with a glass in his hand. His head was tilted upward, watching some sports highlights on the TV overhead. From the back, he looked incredible. I could tell his suit had been tailored because of the way the jacket hugged his upper back and tapered down in a clean line. The suit was blue, but not navy. This blue had character and wasn’t your typical blue. He wore saddle colored wingtip shoes that looked perfect with the blue suit. I walked a little closer, just to take in the sight of him. I could tell he wore a white shirt underneath and my fingertip ached to reach up and trace his perfectly trimmed hairline along his neck.

It was as though he could sense someone checking him out from behind and he turned his head to look over his shoulder. When he saw me, he turned all the way around and leaned back against the bar, propping both elbows back on the bar top. As he did that, it pulled his suit jacket open, revealing his white dress pulled tight across his chest muscles. His tie was mostly navy with thin light blue diagonal stripes. He looked like a million dollars. And that watch—time piece, caught the light. Colt knew what he was doing and smirked with raised eyebrows as he moved his wrist. I smiled at him and closed the distance between us.

“Hi,” he gave me a lopsided smile and kissed my forehead.

Once seated, I began pouring over the menu. I had never been here before and was trying to make a quick decision because I had a feeling he had been here before and probably knew exactly what he wanted. As we worked on our salads, he lunged right into topics and questions regarding BDSM.

“Are there any dynamics that you wouldn’t be interested in trying?” his asked, eyebrows raised.

“I don’t think so. I’m pretty open to trying things. At least, there aren’t any that come to my mind at the moment that I wouldn’t be open to at least trying.”

He nodded and smiled. God, that smile, and those warm eyes.

“When you visit with Service Tops, do you often negotiate the same type of play?”

“Usually, yes. It’s impact play.”

“Have you ever said your safe word while with a Service Top?”

“I haven’t.”

“Never been pushed to your edge?”

“Not yet.”

He gazed at me while he chewed.

“Did you masturbate this morning before work, Leda?” Colt casually asked before taking a sip from his water goblet.

Shit. He just asks whatever he wants, whenever he wants. It doesn’t matter where he’s at. I shook my head as he continued to watch me.

“No? Damn. I was hoping I was on your mind again this morning.”

“You were. I just didn’t give into the urge to play.”

“You exercise good control.”

We were quiet for a few moments while the server cleared our plates.

“I don’t play with myself often.”

“Why?”

“I feel guilty when I give myself pleasure,” I replied honestly.

Colt made a tsking noise, then shook his head while laughing quietly.

“Oh, Leda. Never feel guilty for feeling good, sweetheart.” For whatever reason, I loved hearing him say that term of endearment to me. “You have a lot of clutter in your head, Leda. It prevents you from letting loose and realizing your full potential and completely submitting.”

He pinned me with his icy stare until I smiled, causing the corners of his mouth to curve up.

“Did you have plans to the rest of the evening? Because if not, I’d like to spank that ass of yours and introduce your mouth to my cock.”

What?

Did he just actually say that at the table so casually?

Colt’s expression hadn’t changed and his dark eyes danced with fire across from me.

“I didn’t have plans, Colt.”

“You do now.” Colt retrieved his credit card from his wallet and tossed it on the table, all while he continued to stare at me. “Better text Wade’s girl. Let her know you’ll be out late, so she doesn’t worry. The last thing I want is Wade blowing up my cell phone unnecessarily.”

I nodded and pulled my cell phone out to text Chastity and let her know I’d be out late with Colt. Heat began gathering between my legs as I recalled what he had said: I’d like to spank that ass of yours and introduce your mouth to my cock.

As we walked out of the restaurant, I began to wonder where he was taking me. When we arrived at the valet podium, I pulled my ticket out, but Colt grabbed it.

“Put it away. We’re taking my car. We’ll get there faster.”

“Where are we going?”

He whipped his head around and looked at me like I just asked the craziest question.

“Seven, Leda.”

“All the way out there?”

“That’s why I said my car is faster. I can’t spank your ass and engage in the twisted shit I want to do to you off Seven’s grounds.”

Colt’s Ferrari pulled up, and he opened the passenger door for me. I sunk down into his impressive car and turned my attention to the driver’s door. When it opened, he took a brief moment and adjusted himself before he sat down. I felt my clit swell at the sight of his rigidness trapped behind his pants.

We zipped off, and he was quiet until we got outside the city limits and out on the dark highway that led to Seven.

“Are those pantyhose or stockings with garters?”

“Stockings with garters.”

“Pull your dress up…part your legs. Now, rub your pussy, but don’t stick a finger in and don’t come. I just want you to rub.”

I carefully began slowly rubbing. I traced my pussy lips and my swollen clit for the rest of our drive.

“How’s that clit doing?” Colt asked after we had driven several miles.

“Um, it’s fine.”

Colt reached over and pushed my hand out of the way. He tapped my clit with one of his fingers before he laughed.

“Leda, Leda, Leda. That thing is aching to be punished.”

I was glad it was dark in his car so he couldn’t see me blush. He was right though, I ached.

“Just a mile left. Fix your panties and your dress.”

I guided my panties back into place and tugged my dress down. In valet, Colt put the car in park and quickly came around to my side and opened the door before I even had the seatbelt off. He pulled me out of the car, and I glanced over my shoulder at the dark woods behind us.

“Clutter, Leda.”

I nodded at him as he took hold of my upper arm and ushered me inside. As soon as we were in the lobby, a flurry of check in attendants all chimed off their greeting to Colt. None received a response.

Colt briskly led us through the foyer and down a hallway to a room with an open door. He shut the door behind us quickly, and he began surveying the contents of the room as he pulled off his suit jacket.

“Your safe word has been ‘metal’ when we’ve played. Do you still want to use that word as your safe word?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Clothes off and kneel. Keep your legs shoulder width apart and sit back on your heels.”

My nipples ached and itched to be groped the second my bra came off. I hope he works me over tonight. I really could use this.

Colt retrieved a flogger and strode over to me, removing his shirt and tie as he went. As he got closer, I could smell the oil from the leather falls. He crouched in front of me and firmly took hold of my chin.

“You’re in need of feeling some sharp bites of pain, and I’m in need to giving you that pain. Leda, the safe word is ‘metal,’ don’t forget it.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Get on all fours.”

I leaned forward, pressing my palms to the hardwood floor. Colt pulled my hair off my back and draped it over one shoulder. He began a measured walk from my head along my right side to my feet. As he walked, he dragged the leather falls down my skin. He walked the length of my left side, repeating the motions until he stopped at my head.

I saw him shift his weight and a moment later I left the leather as it crashed onto my back. I arched my back to acclimate, and Colt began his path around my body again. This time, instead of dragging the falls along my body, he made quick, flicks of his wrist causing the heavy falls to slap against my skin. When he reached my feet, he brought the flogger down on my ass and then made two perfectly aimed swats on the backs of my thighs. The falls curved to the inside of my thighs, catching me off guard.

“Ahh!” I cried out.

Colt repeated his path ten more times before he dropped the flogger and crouched down by my left side.

“Such a good girl, Leda.”

Colt reached under me and tweaked my nipples. I felt the bite all the way down to my clit as he tugged and pulled on them. He began spanking my ass with his bare hands, alternating which cheek he hit. On occasion, he spanked my pussy with a downward swatting motion with his fingertips.

This went on and on until the pain became less and less, and my clit and nipples swelled with excitement. With each swat of his bare hand, the pressure continued to build. Colt stopped spanking me and stood up. Taking a handful of my hair, he tugged it back so I’d look up at him.

Colt traced his firmness over his suit pants. I wanted to see it. I wanted to touch it, taste it and feel it slide between my lips. I slowly let my tongue slide along my lips to moisten them.

His chest expanded as a small noise escaped his mouth. His voice caught, and he narrowed his eyes.

“Leda,” he whispered.

“Sir.”

Colt took another deep breath, released my hair and reached for his belt. Frozen on the spot, I eagerly waited for him to reveal what he has been keeping. His eyes stayed on mine as he lowered his pants and boxer briefs and grabbed hold of his impressive shaft. At the base of his cock was well manicured and trimmed dark hair. His ball sac appeared heavy, full, and minus hair.

“You look like you’re ready to be acquainted.” Colt prompted.

“Yes, Sir,” I flashed a smile at him.

Colt stepped from his shoes and pants before turning and walking to the leather couch that was in the room. Damn. His ass was incredible. As he walked, I could see the lines of the muscles in his legs flex. Colt sat down on the couch, still with his cock in his hand.

He stared at me from across the room while he slowly stroked himself. My God, it was hot. From the couch, he picked up a crop and slapped the leather cushion next to him.

“Your knees go here, Leda,” Colt said as he slapped the cushion again. “Crawl over here. I want to see those tits sway beneath you.”

I crawled over to the couch and put my knees where he had instructed them to be positioned on the cushion. I waited for the next instruction, hoping that it’d be to suck him. Colt slapped my breasts and nipples with the crop, and when I closed my eyes to revel in the bite of the crop, he smacked my clit between my parted legs.

“Ahh, Sir!”

Colt brought the crop up to my chin and with it, he guided my head lower and closer to him.

“Lower your head…ass in the air…part your legs…good, Leda.” Colt twisted a hand in my hair, grabbing it all of it. “Now suck.”

I lightly flicked my tongue at the underside of his deep red, bulbous, cock head. I kept my tongue flat and moved around his shaft, relishing in the soft flesh that was stretched tight. As I began to massage his ample, smooth sac, I felt the crop between my legs. Colt’s lengthy arm was able to continue with bringing down the crop on my pussy as it rest on the backrest.

“Don’t toy and tease me with these little ‘behind the bleacher blow job tactics,’ Leda. Open your mouth and take my cock down your throat,” Colt gritted out and gave me several punishing swats of the crop that almost made me come.

I worked feverishly on Colt’s cock, nearly gagging as his head bumped against the back of my throat. In my hand, I felt his balls pull upward and knew I was close to making him come. Colt continued to slap my ass and pussy with the crop until he suddenly stopped and his body grew still.

“Fuck, Leda! I’m going to come, and you’re going to swallow all of it.”

I nodded that I understood and within seconds, warm jets of his creamy fluid coated the inside of my mouth. Over his moans, I quickly began devouring his load. There was so much there, I just kept swallowing and licking it off his head. I finally got it all, and his chest stopped heaving.

Colt pulled my head by my hair that was knotted around his hand, and he gazed into my eyes with his heavy lidded eyes.

“Excellent, Leda. Roll over onto your back…bend your knees…part them…now hang onto them.”

I waited to see what was next. I ached so badly and needed to come. Colt slapped my nipple on my right breast and took hold of it, rolling it roughly between his fingers. Then he brought the crop down between my legs. I moved my pelvis upward to get more friction and finally, he rubbed the leather flap over my clit.

“Oohhh, Sir…Sir, may I come?”

Colt had a wide smile on his face and granted me permission.

“Come for me, Leda.”

I let go and moaned out my release. I felt incredible and could have stayed in the position forever. We sat there for a few moments and then he pulled me up. He stood me up under the light and ran his hand gently over my skin where he had flogged and used the crop on me. He applied a special lotion and a Band-Aid over a spot on the back of one of my legs.

After we both had dressed, he ran his thumb over my swollen lips and a cocky smile appeared.

“Beautiful. Your swollen lips tell a tale of your evening, Leda.”

While we waited for his Ferrari at the valet of Seven, he positioned me so my back was to the woods and he started talking to me about what the rest of the week held for our schedules. The one time I began to glance over my shoulder, Colt stopped me.

“Ah, eyes on me. There’s nothing over there you need to be concerned with, Leda.”

I smiled at him and hoped he hadn’t seen the tears in my eyes. He knew I didn’t like the woods, yet he was trying to make me more comfortable around them. I think he kind of cared. Colt wasn’t the monster Wade was making him out to be.

All the way back to the city, Colt either held my hand or held his hand on my leg. When we got back to the restaurant, he waited outside with me while valet brought me my car. He kissed my forehead before I got in and he asked me to text him when I got home. Colt ran his thumb over the bottom of my lip and gave me a warm smile before he closed my car door.

“Leda, I warned you about not finishing.”

I was so tired, and my stomach hurt. I wanted to go home and never come back. Years after I was far too old to play with my dolls, grandpa and I still made our daily trek through the woods.

He angrily pushed away from me before he lunged at me, grabbing my hair and pulling it back, making me cry. I jerked away from him, but he caught me around my upper arm. The look in his eyes was of a madman. He looked as deranged as the monsters in horror flicks do.

“Get a switch, Leda.”

I thought about running. Where would I go, though? It was so secluded out here. And my attempt would only make it worse. I trudged to the nearest tree and pulled off a whispy branch and returned with it.

He held it in his hands as he examined it and pointed for me to take up my usual whipping spot; hugging the downed tree trunk. The pain, in the beginning, was bad and I just clenched my jaw and dealt with it. Even after the branch snapped, he was still angry. He took off his belt to finish punishing me. I could feel the warmth of blood running down the sides of my thighs as I lay pressed against the log.

“Why do you hate me so much?” I muttered out through clenched teeth.

I never heard him answer.

Shit! I bolted up in bed clutching at my tank top and trying to catch my breath. With shaking fingers, I reached for the light beside my bed and turned it on. Just then, Chastity came in and sat down on the bed. She reached out to stroke my hair, but I backed away.

It wasn't her, it was me. It was always me. I couldn't stand to be touched after waking up from these dreams. Chastity realized that I didn't want to be touched and she retracted her hands, setting them in her lap.

“Leeds, sweetie are you okay? Wade and I heard you crying out. How bad was the nightmare?”

I shook my head, hoping she’d take that as confirmation that I didn't want to talk about it. Wade appeared in the doorway and looked in. I wasn't in the mood now to deal with Wade. He eventually came in and sat down behind Chastity on the bed.

“I'm sorry that I woke you guys up. I'm fine, though.”

“Were you dreaming of your grandfather or Colt?” Wade asked.

“Wade,” Chastity said his name and jabbed her elbow back at him.

“Either could be the source of nightmares,” Wade added.

I felt sick to my stomach and mentally drained. I tried forcing the repulsive images of my grandfather from my head and replaced them with the visual of Colt standing with me by the valet at Seven while we waited for his car. It was so sweet of him to try and keep me from focusing on the woods. And now Wade was sitting here, trying to create a problem.

“The nightmare was about my grandfather, Wade. Please stop trying to criminalize Colt.”

“I'm sorry you had a dream about your asshole grandfather, Leeds. But I know you've been spending time with Colt. It's just a matter of time before he gets into your nightmares.”

“Can I be alone, please? I'm sorry I woke you guys up and thank you for coming to check on me. I'm fine and just want to go back to sleep.”

“Ok, Leeds.”

Chastity got off the bed, pulled Wade with her and they left my room. I wanted to throw something at the door as they left. I took a deep breath and leaned against my pillows.

As much as I tried to fight it, I had an overwhelming urge to send Colt a text. I know I'm not his sub, but rather his Initiate. But I still felt a connection to him. I’ve trusted him with things in such a quick amount of time.

I picked up my cell phone and started to type out a text.

Hi, Colt. I know it's late and you're probably asleep. I can't sleep. Well, I was asleep, but woke up from a nightmare, and now I can't sleep.

I stared at it. I can't send him that. Why would he care? I'm just his Initiate. His pawn. His game token that if he gets across the finish line, he gets a tattoo mark. Besides, one of his rules was that I wasn’t to contact him unless in extreme emergencies.

I deleted my text and tossed my phone to the side and thought.

He seems to want to at least be on good terms and build a bond with me. He's taken me to dinner and out for coffee in efforts to try to get to know me. But he hasn't shared much about himself. Though, he's the Dom. He doesn't have to tell me or share anything with me. I'm just a means to his tattoo mark. But, in being that, I'm still important.

I remembered the look on his face at the valet stand at Seven when I started to look over my shoulder. “Ah, eyes on me. There’s nothing over there you need to be concerned with, Leda.”

I looked at the scar on my wrist. I ran my finger over it as I've done nearly every day since I received it. I recalled pieces of it from my dream and shuddered at the memory. Colt touched this scar at Seven in the bar. No one has ever touched it but me.

* * *

“You're distracted,” Colt said as he leaned forward in his chair.

Since he hadn't asked but rather stated that I was distracted, I didn't bother denying it. I was glad he just wanted to meet for coffee this morning and not a full blown meal. I was still nursing a nightmare hangover and the intensity of Colt first thing this morning probably wasn't a good thing. I kept thinking of all of Wade’s warnings about not getting distracted around Colt, and to always concentrate.

I was failing at heeding those warnings. He was staring at me with those dark, sexy eyes.

“I had a long night, I'm just a little tired.”

“Did I keep you up past your bedtime? Did Wade and his girl interrogate you?” I smiled and sipped my coffee. “You didn't fuck anyone, did you?”

Colt’s eyebrows were knitted together tightly now.

“Of course not! I got home about twenty minutes after you dropped me off at my car and went to bed. I just didn't sleep well. Besides, I knew your rules and agreed to them.”

“You should have slept soundly after our play at Seven.”

“I did…I just woke up too abruptly.”

Colt sipped his coffee but peered at me over the rim of his cup. When he set his cup down, he was no longer frowning, but a different look was plastered on his handsome face; understanding.

“Nightmares?” he asked as he stared at me.

I nodded.

“Yes, Sir.”

“It's Colt, Leda. ‘Sir’ is for Seven,” he reminded me.

I closed my eyes for a moment and berated myself. I've got to concentrate around him.

“I apologize, Colt.”

He was quiet for a few moments and stood. Was he leaving? Shit! Was it because I said “Sir” versus his name? My heart began pounding as he picked up his coffee cup. Colt picked my cup up too and said he'd be right back. He walked up to the counter and asked for refills.

He wasn't leaving.

When he returned, instead of sitting across from me as he had been, he pulled his chair closer to me and sat to my left.

“Tell me what chases you in the night, Leda.”

I tried taking a slow, deep breath that hopefully wasn't obvious. I didn't want him to see that I was nervous. I began overthinking; he told me to tell him. One of his rules was always to obey him; otherwise, I'm gone. I can't risk losing the opportunity to see if he could really give me what I needed. If Colt couldn't, I don't think anyone could.

“Leda,” Colt prompted.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologize for something you have no control over. You're distracted by whatever haunts you in your dreams. So, what did you spend your night running from in your sleep?”

I had a feeling that he already knew or at least suspected.

“My grandfather.”

I looked down and the paper coffee cup and traced the words with my fingers during the awkward silence. Colt reached out and wrapped his hand around my fingers, preventing me from nervously tracing the warm cup.

His hand felt so comforting surrounding my fingers. Colt’s hands were warm, and while they were gentle, they were protective. I think my pulse picked up when he took hold of my fingers.

When I looked up at him, my heart clenched because he smiled at me.

“When did it start?” Colt asked but never took his eyes off me. I think he knew I was struggling a bit since I somewhat avoided this question with him the other day. “You mentioned that the two of you would go off to find wood for your dollhouse, so I imagine pretty young.” He paused, squeezed my fingers and added, “Sound about right?”

I nodded. With his other hand, he reached down and slowly pushed my skirt up, exposing the red skin that I created this morning. I think he knew that he was going to find red, blotchy skin, but probably hoped he wouldn’t see any fresh cuts. I looked down, embarrassed by what I had done. If I had known that Colt would call this morning, asking to meet for coffee, I wouldn't have taken the scalding shower. He called after I got out of the shower.

Colt let go of my skirt and set his hand on top of the fabric that covered my irritated skin. He was quiet and I worried about what he was thinking and what was on the tip of his tongue. What came out, wasn't what I was expecting.

“Did it make you feel a little better?”

I whipped my head up to look at him. Was he messing with me, or did he possibly understand?

“When you took the hot shower and let water burn, did it get rid of some of the other pain? Or when you cut yourself, does it soothe other pain?”

I slowly nodded as he gave me a small smile. I know we briefly talked about it the other night, but I didn’t think he’d possibly understand this.

“Leda, you have so much noise going on inside your head. I like you; you’re different. I see a lot of potential in you, but until you let go of what has weighed you down since you were a little girl, I’m never going to see your full potential. I would be shortchanged. And I don’t like to be shortchanged regarding anything. We’re going to get rid of all that noise in your head.”

“How?”

“You leave that to me. All you have to do is trust me.”

He was gently stroking the scar on my wrist as I stared at him. It was the first time in my life that someone has said something like that to me, and I believed him with my whole heart.

We arranged to have dinner tomorrow night and when I left his side, I felt like hope was alive and in full swing; Colt Grantham just might be the one who can give me what I desire and need.