The wind and rain were relentless and pounded against my body. My hair was plastered to my face and the blindfold. Since my arms were cuffed behind my back, I couldn’t even raise them to pull the hair from my mouth.

On shaking legs and with bare feet, I was set down. My feet were on the cold ground that seemed covered in dirt. Just then, my nostrils were assaulted with a scent that I’ve known my whole life…the forest. As pine trees filled my senses, panic set in. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t see. I knew that I’d end up hurt or dead if I tried running, but the fear of what would happen if I stayed put was enough encouragement for me to make an attempt. I moved shuffled my feet, confirming that I was on dirt, and blindly took off. I moaned as loud as I could against the gag as strong arms gathered me at the waist.

God, no!

Lifting me off the ground, he carried me like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder back in the direction that I attempted to flee from. Again, my feet were set on the ground, but this time I was shoved against the side of a car. I felt his hands at the hem of my dress and tried to turn away from him as I moaned against the gag.

What did he want?

Somehow over the rain, I could hear my dress being torn and I began to squirm more against the hands. My thighs were now exposed to the cold, and the rain began battering them. The man’s knee lunged forward between my legs, pinning me to the car. He pulled me toward him, but since I was pinned against the car, my only way to avoid him was to turn my head away from him. He pulled the gag from my mouth and pressed his lips to mine. Suddenly, the blindfold was pulled off, and the masked man filled my vision.

“Leda,” the man whispered.

Colt! It was Colt!

“Colt,” I started to say, but he cut me off, and the harshness in his voice began to scare me.

“Turn around,” he commanded.

I didn’t want to push my luck so I obeyed. With my back to him, I began surveying the area, and just as I suspected, we were in the woods. God help me, the fucking woods. Why was he doing this? He knows I hate the woods…and losing sight. He knew this. So, why is he doing this?

One of his hands held both of mine as his other hand worked to unlock the tight cuffs. As he pulled them off, I felt the bite of the metal pulling away from the cut it made on my skin.

We were in the woods. It was dark, and he knew I hated the woods.

“Colt,” I tried, desperately pleading with him.

“Shut up,” he responded.

I just stared at him, unable to even ask all of the questions that had formed in my head since I left work. He must have a reason.

“I will give you a head start. When I count to three, I want you to run as fast as you can towards that shed,” he instructed.

Was he out of his fucking mind? He pointed to a shed about seventy-five yards away. The light on the shed dipped in and out of visibility as the wind blew the tree branches around, concealing the dim glow. The trees looked dense, and as I thought about running towards it, I could feel the chill setting in, deep in my bones.

I looked back at Colt, silently pleading with him to not make me do this. Please, God, not this. I’m not strong enough for this. Certainly, not in the pouring rain at night. I glanced back in the direction of the shed and the soft, sporadic glow of the light.

Trust.

I had to trust that he had a reason for this, other than to terrorize me.

But it was the woods!

I swallowed hard and looked back at him.

I had to trust him. Until he gave me a reason not to, I had to.

I opened my mouth, but Colt quickly pressed his fingers against my lips while he took hold of my jaw.

“No questions. Just do it.” Colt paused and moved my jaw so that I was facing the shed in the distance. “One…two…three!”

With stiff legs, I ran towards the shed as fast as I could go. The shed would be my victory. The ground destroyed my feet as I pushed forward, stepping on small rocks that hid under mud ridden divots. The wind continued to pelt my face with icy rain, and sharp arms of branches and twigs tried to reach out and grab me to slow me down.

Arms grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to the muddy earth. No, not the ground of the woods. My mind tried fighting with me, though I knew that I needed to concentrate, my grandfather still worked his way inside my mind as I tried getting myself to an upright position as Colt pulled and tugged at me.

My mind was getting in my way. Wade’s warnings rang out in my ears, mixed with my grandfather’s as Colt finished tearing my dress from my body. He yanked my bra down so hard that one of the thin straps gave way and snapped. For a brief moment, I felt a hint of energy sparking as he dragged the bra down my torso roughly.

Staring upward, I could hardly keep my eyes open because the rain was crippling me. My back was being scraped over twigs and rocks as Colt jarred my body. I think I was naked now. This was a very familiar view for me; looking upward at the creepy trees as a child. I swallowed hard and glanced down at Colt. Only it wasn’t Colt’s face that I saw; it was my grandfather’s.

No.

“Colt,” my voice shook, and I hardly recognized it myself.

“Don’t talk until I say.”

Memories of my grandfather telling me to be quiet came back with a driving force.

“Leda, don’t just lie there and take it. I’m about to take you against your will.”

I could feel my body quaking, and I shivered so badly that my teeth were starting to chatter. Don’t just lie there? What was he talking about? Isn’t this what he wanted?

“Dammit, Leda, is this how your grandfather got you all those years ago? Did you just lie there? What about all those other guys who used you as a teenager? Did your grandfather make you into a slut so you would spread your legs for any guy who so much as spoke to you? God, Leda, I don’t want a fucking Barbie doll who lies there like a dead fuck!”

His words were so harsh, and it felt like he delivered a punch to my gut, knocking the wind out of me, as he spat them at me. Colt gripped my wrists in one of his hands as he hovered over me. I could barely digest what he was saying. Tears burned in my eyes as I stared up at him. Anger overtook me, and I was able to yank my arms out from under his grip.

“How dare you say that to me? Fuck you, Colt!”

Colt regained control quickly, gathering my hands and slammed them back to the ground. A smirk appeared on his face. Did my outburst make him happy? He made a slight nod with his head and grabbed his hard cock.

“Come on, Leda!” Colt prodded and gripped my wrists tighter. “Is this why you cut yourself? You hate yourself so much you want to die whenever you remember what he did to you?”

I shut my eyes and turned my head away from Colt. I started to give away to the overwhelming feeling how much I truly hated myself. I hated myself for cutting and burning myself with hot water. I was so close to falling away into that corner of my mind that I still ran to and hid. My grandfather could never hurt me there. I was almost there, and then I felt the warmth of Colt’s hand cupping my cheek, pulling me to him.

Over the thunderous sky, Colt roared at me, “Fucking tell me, Leda! How much do you hate yourself?”

All of the calmness that I held, hiding behind my fortress erupted.

“I fucking hated it! I hated him!” I swallowed hard, trying to get air. “The feeling…oh, God, the feeling of his fucking beard scratching my legs—”

“More, Leda, tell me more,” Colt encouraged.

“I fucking hate him. Every second, every single time he was with me. The stench of his Old Spice cologne made me want to puke. The old razor straps he used to spank me with, cutting into my thighs…and I—” I stared up at the trees, letting the water beat against my face. “I…let it happen. Oh, God, I never…I never…fought back.”

Tears ran from my eyes, blending with the rain in my hair. He was my grandfather…and me made me hate myself. Colt was talking, but I only made out a few words.

“Tell me how much you hate yourself because of it.”

“I hated myself! I never told anyone for years. I just…just let him do it. I didn’t know what else to do. I thought it was my fault…my fault. I still…think about it.”

Colt brushed his thumb over my lips as they quivered. His eyes looked much softer now.

“That’s why you cut, isn’t it?”

“Yes! I fucking deserve to hurt. I want to hurt so that I can feel...something…anything even if it’s pain,” I yelled as I looked deep into his eyes.

Colt closed his eyes for a moment, and as he opened them, he thrust his cock into me roughly. Endorphins spread like wildfire in my body, and a very comforting feeling washed over me; I was safe with Colt.

“Leda, you’re mine now,” Colt whispered, his warm breath blanketed my face.

“I know,” I answered as he kissed me.

Colt kissed with an intensity that I’ve never felt in a kiss. It was full of urgency as he claimed my mouth. His head and body sheltered mine from most of the rain as his body continued to thrust deeply into mine. When he pulled away from my mouth, he looked into my eyes and through gritted teeth he said, “Now fight back, Leda. This is your chance to do what you didn’t get to do before.”

I considered him for a moment and snapped out of it when he pinched my side. Colt loosened his grip on my wrist and pushed himself off of me so that my hands would only be able to reach his chest if I stretched.

“Come on, Leda. Fight!” Colt said while slapping my sides and pinching me.

He continued to fuck me as I knocked his hands away from my sides. He would just grab my hands in one of his, and pinch or slap at me until I struggled enough to free my hands from his and then knock his hand away. This went on until I was nearly exhausted from crying, yelling and struggling with him.

Colt reached under my back with both of his arms and pulled me off the soaked ground and settled me into his lap, straddling his legs. Through the mud, dirt and grime on my back, Colt dragged his fingernails from my shoulders to my ass, igniting a fire as they went. He repeated this over and over.

A scream detonated from deep within me, and Colt wrapped his arms around me tightly. The scream wasn’t from being hurt, but it was possibly the first time I’ve ever felt this kind of release. After all those years, I finally screamed in the woods for everything that had been done to me under the cloak of the trees.

“Good, Leda. Get that shit out,” Colt said while he continued to raise his hips, pushing his cock deeper into me.

I detected that Colt was moving now with more need. He began making shallow, grunting noises moments before his body stilled and then his grip tightened on me.

“Fuck, Leda!” Colt moaned.

As his cock pulsated inside of me, I felt my own orgasm sneak up on me. My mind had nothing left in it to try and fight it off. I just let it happen. I clung to Colt and enjoyed it.

For a few seconds, he looked into my eyes before he lifted me off his cock. He motioned for me to kneel and he reached down, tapping my chin.

“Open,” he instructed.

I opened my mouth, and he inserted his softening cock.

“Clean me up, Leda.”

Mindlessly, I went to work on Colt’s dick as the cold rain lashed my back. I couldn’t think much past the task at hand; my mind was on overload. I thought I had myself in check and under control, when out of nowhere, tears just started to fall. While I sucked Colt’s cock, I wiped my eyes.

“Leda,” Colt said and reached for my head.

I left his dick slip from my mouth when he pushed my head away from his crotch. He crouched down, brushing my matted hair away from my face and pressed his lips to mine. Colt stood up and somehow, he pulled on his soaked pants while I remained on the ground, curled up into myself.

“Come on.” Colt bent down and scooped me up in his arms and proceeded toward the direction of the car.

I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pressed my other hand against his muscular chest. Even though I was in the safe arms of Colt, I still wasn’t keen on keeping my head up as we walked through the woods. As we began on a path, I noticed we had passed the car.

“Where are we going? Wasn’t that the car?” I asked.

“Seven.”

Seven. I thought back to the long car ride. It hadn’t seemed so long I suppose since I was so nervous and scared. My head was swimming with questions.

“What about the car?”

“It’ll be fine. It belongs to the groundskeeper and maintenance guy for Seven. He’ll come out and get it.”

Effortlessly, Colt carried me through the woods on a path that was surrounded by dense, thick trees. It was as though he could sense my unease.

“Don’t worry. I know exactly where we are.” I nodded against his shoulder. “I used to play back here when I was younger. I know these woods like the back of my hand.”

Surprisingly, that made me feel a lot better. Soon, the warm glow of the lights from Seven came into view, and I could feel my pulse begin to calm.

* * *

As we drove back to the city, I felt as though I was doing okay, my head was just foggy still. I kept trying to remind myself what Colt had said to me afterward in his Throne Room; “Don’t overthink, Leda. You’re safe and will be fine.”

I was fine.

Wasn’t I?

I held myself very still in my seat on the way back to the city and Colt kept his hand on my thigh, patting it every so often. The trees flew by outside the window. Everything was a blur.

I had been out there in the woods. Colt’s words were playing over and over in my head; “Fight back, Leda.”

My hair was still damp from the bath Colt gave me. Chills raced up my spine as I fought off urges to wrap my arms around myself to keep warm. I pressed my fingertips to the glass window to see if I could tell how cold it was out there.

“Leda.”

Faintly I could hear my name, but I didn’t react to it. I just wanted to sit still.

“Leda, are you cold?”

Colt’s hand gave my leg another pat, jostling me. I didn’t want him to move his hand; it was the only thing that made me feel warm right now. I reached down and tried to take hold of his hand, but he moved it to rub my leg.

Why won’t he let me hold his hand?

“Answer me, Leda.”

“I’m sorry. Your hand feels warm. I like it.”

“That isn’t an answer to my question. The question was if you were cold or not. Your apologetic reply, stating that my hands felt warm and that you liked it, wasn’t an answer.”

Oh, ok. I clamped my jaw shut. I apparently wasn’t competent enough to answer a simple question that he asked.

I could feel him looking at me a few times. I glanced at the car’s temperature settings, and the heat was on full blast. But I was so cold. All of my joints felt stiff. Was I just holding myself too tight? Colt’s hand returned to my leg and his thumb gently stroked my skin.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you, Leda.”

I was okay, though tears were forming in the bottom of my eyelids. I turned my head to look out into the blackness that surrounded the car off the side of the road.

“What are you doing tomorrow, Leda?”

What was I doing tomorrow? Shit! Tomorrow was work and I had an important meeting that I had to be there for. Before I responded, I thought clearly about my response to make sure that it would address his actual question.

“I have a meeting tomorrow at work. But aside from that, things should be calm,” I replied.

“What about you?”

“I don’t know. It’s Friday, and I’m thinking of calling out for the day.”

He kept looking like he was going to start another conversation, so I remained quiet and tried not to overthink things. Lights from the city started to come into view, and before I knew it, we were pulling up beside my car in the dark and empty parking garage where I left it at work.

“Give me your keys, Leda.”

I retrieved them from my purse and clumsily handed them to him.

“Stay here.”

Colt got out of the car and got into mine. He turned it on and then returned to the Ferrari. When he sat down, he turned to face me.

“We’ll let yours warm up for a minute.”

I nodded and watched the cold exhaust sputter out into the damp air.

“Leda, look at me.”

Colt took hold of my chin and tugged it in his direction. I looked into his eyes. Something was different, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly. And maybe it was just my head screwing with me right now.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive home?”

“Yes, I’m okay, Colt.”

He seemed to want to keep me in his car with him for a little longer. Maybe he didn’t think I was okay, or maybe it was for his benefit. I laughed to myself at that thought. Colt is so strong and resilient.

“I’m going to follow you home. Just to make sure you arrive okay.”

“I’ll be fine, you don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t, but I’m going to anyway.”

I nodded. I was too tired to argue with him over something that I’d never win. He walked me to my car and before I got in, he hugged me.

“Onwards and upwards now, Leda.”

I leaned into him with all my weight. I wanted to stay in his arms. He was so warm. He kissed my forehead and guided me into my car. He closed the car and hurried back to his car.

Colt’s Ferrari followed me out of the parking garage and trailed behind me all the way home. I kept looking in the rearview mirror every so often to make sure he was still back there. Even though I wasn’t beside him, I still felt like he was still with me in a sense.

I pulled into Chastity and Wade’s driveway and slowly got out. Damn, I ached. My muscles were still so tense and I felt a deep bone-chilling cold.

Colt’s car slowed and came to a stop in front of the house. I stalled a bit in the driveway in case he was going to get out. When it appeared that he had no intention of getting out, I waved and hurried to the front door. His car roared to life and before I shut the door, he was gone.

“Leda!” Chastity exclaimed and raced over to me.

Chastity wrapped me up in an embrace and held onto to me tight. It actually felt wonderful. I took a deep breath and hugged her back.

When I pulled out of her embrace, she tugged on my clothes and raised an eyebrow.

“Come on, let’s get you out of these clothes and into something warm. I hope you and Colt didn’t get caught out in the rain, wherever you guys went.”

“Yeah, we saw a little rain tonight. Nothing major though,” I said as I recalled the rain and being on the ground in the woods.

Wade was standing behind Chastity, wearing that familiar face of concern. Each time I’ve been out with Colt or even mention his name, Wade either gets angry or concerned. Tonight, was no different. He followed Chastity and me down the hall to my room and she flipped the light on. The clock on my nightstand read 12:10 in the morning.

“Why…why are you guys still up?” I asked.

They looked at one another and then Chastity plastered a smile on. She explained that Colt sent Wade a text this morning saying that he was going to surprise me and pick me up after work for a dinner and a night out.

That was thoughtful of him. The fact that he did that, knowing that he and Wade don’t seem to get along well, told me that he was mindful of my well-being after our “dinner and night out.”

Chastity pulled out my pajamas and helped me change when Wade’s voice broke through the quietness I was enjoying. I thought Wade had gone to their room, but he was lingering in the doorway.

“Fuck, Leda!”

Chastity and I both turned to see him angrily stalking toward us.

“Wade, settle down. What is it?” Chastity asked.

“What?” I asked and looked at Chastity. “What’s wrong?”

Wade took me by the arm and ushered me into the bathroom as I covered up my breasts while Chastity begged him to calm down. He stood me in front of my full-length mirror, turned me to face him and told me to look at my back.

I stared at deep red marks. I quickly thought. They were most likely his fingernail marks…or the rocks and sharp twigs from the ground.

“Leda,” Wade started.

I knew what he was about to tell me, but I didn’t want to hear him.

Wade tilted me to show me the red marks on my side from being grabbed and pinched.

“Some fucking night out. Where did you guys have dinner?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“We didn’t.”

“Obviously, he had other plans in mind. So, where was the night out at?”

“Wade!” Chastity yelled.

“Seven,” I said.

“You’re pretty banged up, Leda. Even for a typical scene with Colt. What room did you play in?” I just shook my head. I couldn’t listen to him anymore, but he just wouldn’t stop pushing. “Main room? The cell room? His precious Throne Room?”

“Stop it! We played outside!” I yelled.

Wade and Chastity stared blankly at me as if I just hadn’t really said that we played outside.

“What? Honey, are you sure?” Chastity asked me.

I just looked at her, hoping she’d replay in her head how dumb that sounded.

“Yeah, I was there. I was able to tell inside from outside,” I said, unable to hide the sarcasm in my tone.

“The grounds are in the woods, Leda,” Wade said calmly.

“Yep, I know.”

“Did you know you were going into the woods? Did you agree to go into the woods?” he asked.

“Stop, Wade! I trusted him!”

“Do you trust him, Leeds? Look what he did to your fucking back while you were out in the deep woods.”

I couldn’t hear him anymore while I was trying to recall everything from tonight. Chastity and Wade began yelling, and I tuned them out and sat down on the edge of the tub. The cool porcelain felt soothing on the backs of my legs and ass.

“Can you guys go somewhere else and yell?”

I begged them to stop yelling and leave me alone for a while. The tears started to fall and Chastity wrapped me up in her arms and began apologizing.

“Sweetie, we’re sorry. We’re not going to yell,” she said softly. “I wanted to talk to you about your night.”

“I don’t want to talk. I’m just tired. I don’t feel like any company.”

Chastity was quiet, and at first I didn’t think they’d ever leave me alone, but she finally relented.

“Ok, sweetie. Our door will be open tonight. Come and get me if you need anything or want to talk.”

I nodded and then Wade wrapped his arm around my neck and kissed my head.

“I’m sorry, Leeds.”

I nodded at him too, and as they left, I pulled my pajamas on, took some Advil and stiffly walked to my bed.

I could hear Chastity and Wade on the other side of my wall. Wade was fuming still.

“He knew everything and how to use it against her. I fucking knew he was going to break her! He got her to trust him so he could get in her head and find out how to break her. Colt has to play his fucking game of breaking people. Fucking sadist!”

I shut my eyes as more tears fell. Wrapping my arms around myself, I pulled my legs up, still trying to get warm. As I replayed things from tonight, I also thought about my grandfather. He had control over me for so many years. Even after it stopped. Colt gave me a deep breath of air that I’ve been in need of for so long.

* * *

It was 2:10 in the morning and I was still wide awake. How can I be wide awake, yet so exhausted? One thing that hadn’t improved over the past few hours was the fact that I was still cold. In fact, I had grown colder over the past few hours and was shaking now.

For the past few hours, I’ve replayed my evening with Colt, trying to see what Wade was seeing. Maybe I was blind, but I didn’t see Colt as the devil. I spent so many years under the filthy hands of my grandfather, and I’m pretty sure I know what the devil looks like.

Colt wasn’t him.

My body shook as I lay curled up in my bed. This was stupid. If I just went and stood in the warm shower for a bit, I could get warm and come back to bed and hopefully get a few hours of sleep.

As I stood under the warm water, emotions came from all directions in full force, and I just started crying. It wasn't simple, quietly falling tears either. This was an attack of more stored up shit, and the guilt of coming with Colt was setting in.

I lowered myself to the floor of the tub, wrapped my arms around my legs and dropped my head to my knees. The water felt warm, but I was still shaking so badly. Reaching up, I turned the faucet over toward the “hot” marker. Why wasn't it working?

Why hadn't I told my grandmother or parents what had been going on? Why hadn't they seen it? Why did I just accept it? Why hadn't I fought back?

All of those questions and none of them had answers. A wave of anger at myself swept over me, and while under the comforts of the water, I scratched the top of my thighs. I watched the angry red lines form and glow a fuming red.

But I felt no relief.

Frowning, I tried again on the inside of my arm. In a rapid back and forth motion, I scratched until I counted to twenty in my head.

There.

I marveled in the impressive red, scratched forearm that I created and waited. And waited. Why wasn't this working?

I desperation, I scratched with all my strength at a spot that was healing on the inside of my thighs.

Ow! Fuck, damn!

I looked down at the spot emitting sharp bites of pain. I was bleeding. For a brief moment, I felt warm and like I could breathe again. It reminded me of being surround by Colt’s arms. He was so warm.

Tears continued at an uncontrollable rate and before I knew it, Chastity had reached in and shut the water off.

“Leeds, oh, Leeds, sweetie.” She turned her head away from me and yelled Wade’s name.

No, I didn't want to see him. He was just going to say something that would make me angry.

“N-no, p-please don’t get W-Wade,” I stammered through chattering teeth.

“Leeds, you can't sit in that water. It's not good for you, it was way too hot—”

I interrupted her, I didn't want her to think I was trying to burn myself.

“No, I was t-trying to g-get w-warm.” My mouth was bone dry and I tried swallowing, hoping it would help. “I w-wasn't t-trying to b-burn my-myself.”

I don't think she believes me. She stared at me with eyes of pity and sympathy and then took hold of my arm. She pulled it toward her and looked at the spots where I had scratched myself.

Wade appeared in the bathroom and I moved to shield myself from his judgmental eyes.

“Leda was still cold.”

I lowered my head back to my knees as they quietly conversed. I heard the word “drop” being mumbled between them, but I didn't dare look up. Wade sat down on the side of the tub and stroked my head. Even though I knew he’d be angry and spitting fire, I still looked up at him. I was surprised that I hadn't seen flames dancing in his eyes. He was calm and wasn't ranting.

“Leeds, I'm going to call Colt. I think you need to be near him right now.”

He stood, but I grabbed his pant leg.

“No! You c-can't! It's his rule. I'm n-not to c-contact him unless it’s an extreme emergency.”

“I think this would be a valid phone call.”

“No! P-please don’t! You'll ruin any chance I have. I f-finally found a D-dom that can give me w-what I've been needing. This isn't an extreme emergency.”

“Leeds, should I wait until you scratch all of the skin off your body and burn yourself? Or should I wait until you starting cutting again? Should Chastity and I wait until we find you bleeding in the tub?” Wade leaned over and kissed my head. “I'm calling Colt.”

Wade left the room and I could feel my heart begin to pound harder. Oh, God. Chastity helped me out of the tub and dried me off. I put some clothes on and crawled back into bed.