“What I am certain of is your absolute ignorance regarding your own lustful needs, your wicked desires.”

She looked uncomfortable as I stared her down. I leaned forward to catch her hand within my own.

“Leda, you’re so full of longing. It’s what makes you so desirable. You’re completely out of touch with your own body.”

“No, I’m not,” she whispered shaking her head, but her body told me differently. She leaned in even closer to me.

“Yes, you are. But don’t worry, Leda, it’s my job to get you to make peace with your wicked desires, the ones that send the juices dripping down your legs. The ones that keep you awake at night staring at the ceiling drenched in perspiration, biting your lip as you drag that blade across your arm and pray for courage.”

Leda sucked in her breath. She jerked her arm away from me pulling her sleeve down. It was too late. I’d already seen the marks.

“Hesitation wounds. They’ll heal. You must have done it quite recently. My only question is who drove you to such extremes? Did you get turned down for a job you wanted? Financial difficulties? No, my experience tells me it was something personal…deeply personal.

“You hate yourself because of what someone else did to you. You associate pain with pleasure. You had to in order to survive your traumatic childhood. You had to believe that by hurting you he loved you.” I stopped to sip my scotch. I watched her face carefully noting how tense her body was becoming and the corners of her mouth had turned down.

“Colt, you see a lot, but that’s not exactly how I see it.”

“Then tell me how you see it. Make me feel what you feel, Leda.” I leaned forward my hand grazing her knee beneath the table. She jumped as she felt my hand.

“How can I? You and I are so different.”

I laughed, motioning the server to bring me another scotch.

“If you believe that, then this isn’t going to work. Leda, pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin. In my world, one does not exist without the other. The first time we met you told me you wanted something dark. If you look into the darkness, you’d better expect to see the devil.” I grinned at her baffled face. I knew she didn’t know what to make of me. She thought I was putting on a false bravado which, of course, I was.

“Are you the devil? Shouldn’t I be calling you Lucifer?” She laughed finishing her glass of wine. Her cheeks flushed pink.

I waved my hand.

“My friends call me Luke. No, with all seriousness, Leda, I am a very dark man and what Wade and Chastity said about me is true.”

I could see her interest piqued even more. She twitched nervously in her seat.

“The scenes you’ve done with Service Tops are nothing compared to what you’ll get with me. Intense pain that lasts for days and a climax so shattering you won’t be able to move afterward for hours. Think you can handle that?” I traced my finger over her right hand.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Then answer me one more thing. Who hurt you? Who aroused these feelings in you?”

Her blue eyes met mine squarely as she fondled her glass.

“My grandfather.”

I shuddered as it was my stepfather who had hurt me. I imagined her as a young girl with her long curling blonde hair huddled beneath the pink sheets of a canopy bed crying softly after he’d hurt her.

“I see. So, after your traumatic experience with your grandfather, you began to believe that you weren’t receiving love unless you received pain. I assumed you loved your grandfather?”

“I did at times.”

“Your relationship with pain is a precarious one. The infliction of pain onto your body causes you distress, but great pleasure. Therefore, when you can’t achieve the pleasure you’re seeking from someone else, you hurt yourself. Yet part of you hates the pain particularly the kind your grandfather caused you. But without pain, you can’t feel anything.”

She sat and stared at me. The silence was deafening as she struggled to find her words.

“I’m sorry, Colt, but you’re wrong. My grandfather caused me so much pain and heartache…he devastated me.” Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

“Then why do you seek the very pain that has so deeply scarred you both inside and out?” I templed my fingers below my chin. I knew I was putting her on the spot forcing her to confront her demons, but that was exactly what I wanted her to do. Only after she peeled back all the painful layers surrounding her heart would she be able to really take and enjoy the pain I could give.

And she would be the one who could complete all my circles.

By doing so, she’d set me free.

“Leda, you said we’re too different that I could never understand you. Well, you can’t enjoy sex without feeling pain. I can’t enjoy sex without causing it. Seems like I can understand you perfectly.”

Leda stiffened a moment as she contemplated my words. She finished her liquor and leaned back from me.

“Thank you for your analysis, Dr. Freud. But I think it’s a bit more complicated than that. I didn’t know by accepting a date with you it would turn into a fucking psychoanalysis session.”

Taken aback by the ferocity in her voice, I felt my cock stir. I’d never had any woman speak to me like that. She was definitely submissive, but she had a fire within her.

One I was more than willing to get burned by.

“Leda, if you accept my invitation I will speak to you in the language only someone like us can understand—the sweet language of sadomasochism.”