Chapter 16 ~ Cassey ~
I stare at Kyler wide-eyed. Did he just propose? Judging by the look in his
face I’m guessing he did. And he’s waiting for me to respond.
“Uh…” My words disappear, and I immediately wish I hadn’t said anything
at all. Not exactly how I imagined my proposal, or how I would respond.
Kyler’s expression shifts, and he slides out from under me.
“Not quite the response I was imagining,” he murmurs. He pulls his sweats
on, and starts to stand when I grab his forearm.
“I’m sorry, I just - ”
“Don’t want to marry me,” Kyler intercedes, his body going rigid under my
hand. I’ve hurt him. I can hear it in his voice.
“Will you let me explain?” I ask quietly. I hold the sheet to my chest, and
move to sit on my knees.
“There’s nothing to explain,” Kyler replies, sounding both resigned and agitated. How the hell did the mood change so quickly? One minute we’re kissing, and the next he’s proposing and I’m stuttering for an answer. Again, not
how I pictured this moment happening.
“Kyler,” I say quietly, pleading, “it’s not that I don’t want to marry you, I
just - ”
“Didn’t want to say yes,” he interrupts again. “I’m going to crash on the
couch.”
He pulls out of my grasp, and walks out of his bedroom, leaving me alone in
bed. I have two options here. I can leave it until tomorrow, and potentially
have him leave me, or I could chase after the stubborn man and sort this out
right now. It only takes me a split second to make my decision. I jump out of
bed, and throw on one of Kyler’s discarded shirts on my way down the passage. I find him standing next to his floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook
the city. The lights shimmer, horns sound down below, and all I can really
focus on is the ay Kyler’s shoulder’s move up and down with his every breath.
The soft moonlight shines down on him, and the sight is almost enough to
take my breath away. I take a few tentative steps towards him, and stop a few
feet behind him.
“Kyler,” I say quietly again. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence. Instead he
places his palms against the cool glass, and leans against it, hanging his head
between his shoulders. He might not want to hear me out, but I’m going to
tell him anyway.
“I didn’t say no,” I start. “I was just caught off guard. I didn’t mean for it to
come out the way it did, but you surprised me,” I wait for a response, and
when it doesn’t come I continue, “We’ve been through so much, and our relationship is still far too new to be jumping into more so quickly. I just want to
enjoy what we have now, before taking that next step.”
“You don’t have to explain Cass, I get it. I shouldn’t have asked.”
His words knock me off kilter, and I feel hurt blooming in my chest. It’s silly, considering I didn’t exactly give him the answer he wanted. I still stand by
it though. The past few weeks have been taxing on both of us, especially the
week following Robert Knight’s death. I never left Kyler’s side, and if he was
up late, unable to sleep, then I was right there next to him. It was difficult,
experiencing all of that with his father. I felt as if I’d lost a father too. It didn’t
help that news of Robert’s death spread like wild fire. Kyler and his mother
were barely able to go anywhere without being swarmed by paparazzi who
asked a thousand questions. I put my unease aside, knowing it was my life in
the media too, and did what I could to be there for Kyler and his mother. I’m
still not used to seeing my picture in the newspaper or in the tabloids, but
over the past week, it was inevitable. I’m the new woman on Kyler Knights
arm, and he’s just taken over his father’s company. It’s big news, or at least the
paparazzi seem to think so.
I close the space between me and Kyler, and press my chest to Kyler’s bare
back as I wrap my arms around his waist. He doesn’t move, but I feel the
sigh that leaves his chest. My hand rests over his heart, and I feel the steady
thump thump, thump thump, of his heart. I’ve found that it’s centers me, reminds me that no matter what’s going on around us or between us, as long as
I hear that sound I know we’ll be okay.
“We’ve been through so much,” I whisper against his skin.
“I know,” he sighs, resting his hand over mine.
My eyes flutter shut, and our breathing synchronizes, like we’re breathing as
one person. It’s strange, to feel so connected to another human being in such
a short space of time.
“I didn’t say no,” I tell him gently. “I just meant not now. We’ve just started figuring all of this out after our previous…” I swallow, wondering how to
word what it is we had before. Saying we were fuck buddies, or even
friends-with-benefits doesn’t feel right to me anymore, “arrangement. Don’t
you think we should take our time, settle into our new relationship, and just
take our time?”
Kyler pushes off the glass windows, forcing me to drop my hold on him. He
turns to face me. “Yeah.” He leans in and presses a gentle kiss to my forehead.
It feels like both a comfort and a dismissal. “Go back to bed, baby. I’ll see you
in the morning.”
My insides are screaming at me to argue, to fight, to make sure he understands where I’m coming from. Instead, I listen to him. Pressing a soft kiss
to the side of his mouth, I say goodnight and make my way back to his bedroom, where I crawl back under the covers. I can’t marry Kyler now. It’s way
too soon, and Kyler still has so much left to deal with after his father passed
away. But I can compromise. That much I can do for him.
~ Kyler ~
Cassey is still asleep when I leave my apartment. It’s a Saturday, but I have a
few things to do in the office after my father’s funeral. I left her a note, telling her I’ll be back later. I don’t quite know what got into me last night, and
if I’m being totally honest with myself, Cassey’s rejection stung. But after
brewing over it for a little while longer I realized that she was right. It is too
soon. Our relationship has been nothing but a whirlwind of lust, sex, and a
stupid arrangement that flipped my world on its head. What was I thinking
proposing to her now?
I’m afraid to admit to her that proposing out of the blue like that was the
wrong thing to do, simply because my head is a screwed up place to be right
now. I’m mourning the death of the man I idolized, the man I wanted to be
when I grew up, and helping my mother grieve the loss of her soul mate and
best friend. Needless to say I’m not thinking clearly.
After spending four hours in the office, I check my phone to see that Cassey
hasn’t called or texted, and decide to take a walk back to my apartment. The
streets bustle as people do their usual Saturday shopping, but I barely notice
it. I walk in a haze, thinking about everything and nothing.
When I make it back to my apartment, it’s quiet, until I hear noises coming
from my bedroom.
“Cass?” I call out, walking down the hallway.
“In here,” she responds.
I find her standing in my closet, hands on her hips, a proud smile on her face.
“What are you doing?” I ask, a light chuckle in my voice. I’m happy to see
her, despite my inner turmoil.
“Notice anything different?” she asks, taking the few steps to where I’m
standing.
I look around, and then start noticing little things. Her clothes are hanging
next to mine, her shoes too, and her perfume bottles line my chest of drawers.
I go to the bathroom, and find all her girly face products, body lotions and
make-up taking up most of the space on my bathroom counter.
“What is all this?” I ask, turning to face her again.
“Well,” she sighs. “I thought about last night, and decided that we could
reach a compromise. I want to marry you, and be your partner in every aspect, give myself to in every way, but just not yet. So,” she gestures to everything around us, where all her belongings now take up residence in my home,
“this is me giving you what I’m ready for.”
It all clicks, and my mouth turns up into a shit eating grin.
“You moved in.”
“Is that okay?” she asks, suddenly unsure.
I press my lips to hers, and smile against her mouth. She giggles, and I swallow the sound, revel in it, in the way this woman is able to breathe life into
me, into my soul.
“It’s more than okay,” I reply. I pull away and look into her beautiful, understanding and compassionate eyes. “Welcome home baby.”