Chapter 11
~ Cassey ~
Helpless. That’s how I feel. I see the fear and pain marring Kyler’s face, and
wish there was something I could do to ease it. But I can’t. Life is cruel and
unpredictable, and I feel my heart crack between my ribs for what he’s about
to face.
“What do you mean you have something else to tell me?” Kyler grinds out,
his hands balled into fists. I rest my hand on his arm, hoping to calm him,
but he just brushes me off.
His mother, Estelle, sniffles, and looks down at her weary husband. He nods
once and her sad, desolate eyes move back to Kyler.
“Your father,” she takes a breath, and I can see she’s struggling to keep her
composure, “has stage four pancreatic cancer.”
Kyler’s face pales and he looks between his parents. “How long have you
known?”
“A week,” his father croaks out. I cover my mouth with my hand, and feel the
tears burning my eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kyler roars. His mother flinches, and her tears
start streaming down her face.
“Son,” his father reprimands. Even in his weak state, Robert Knight’s voice
still has an authoritative tone.
“No, Dad! I deserved to know! You’re dying, and you didn’t think your only
son needed to know?”
Another sob comes from across the room and my heart drops at the sight of
Estelle. She’s devastated.
I bring my hand up to Kyler’s chest, his heart racing beneath my palm. “Kyler,” I call his name softly, and he looks at me.
His eyes are glazed, tears forming and spilling over the rims of his eyelids. It
kills me to see him like this, so confused and so lost, like a little boy instead
of a grown man. His body relaxes and he drops into the chair next to his father’s hospital bed. His head rests in his palms, and I watch his shoulders
shake as he cries.
“Cassey, sweetheart.”
My eyes dart up at the sound of Robert’s voice, and he gives me a sad smile.
“Can you give us a minute, please?”
I nod, wiping my face, and he turns to his wife. “Let me talk to him,” he says
to her. She kisses his forehead and then his lips. I feel like I’m intruding, but
I can’t tear my eyes away from them. Their love and adoration for one another is palpable, and so true that my heart breaks all over again.
I couldn’t imagine having to say goodbye to the love of my life after spending more than half my life with that person at my side. Estelle walks over to
me, and I wrap my arms around her waist as we leave Kyler and his father
alone. I don’t know what to say, so I keep quiet. Estelle doesn’t seem to mind
though. She sits silently in the uncomfortable waiting room chair and stares
out the window.
An hour later, a nurse walks in, and looks at Estelle. “Mrs. Knight, your husband is looking for you.” She nods, and gets to her feet, turning to face me.
“Thank you, Cassey, for being here with Kyler,” she says, a sad smile slipping
onto her face. I rise to my feet and hug her tightly.
“I’m so sorry.” A sob escapes and her arms tighten their hold on me. “If you
need anything, please, don’t hesitate to ask.”
She pulls back to look at me, and her hand cups my face. “Thank you, sweet
girl,” she pauses, “My husband is right about you.”
Before I can ask what she means, Estelle turns around and disappears around
the corner, leaving me alone in the waiting room. Instead of going in search
of Kyler, I decide to head home, and give him some time with his parents.
This is a lot to process, and I don’t want to intrude. I also feel guilty, because
while Kyler is dealing with this news, I’m thinking about where this leaves
us, whatever version of an us we are. God, how could I be thinking about this
right now? I chastise myself. I shake my head and pull up the number for a
cab company. Kyler needs time, but I find myself hoping that when he leaves
the hospital later, it will be me he seeks out.
~ Kyler ~
My mother and Cassey leave the hospital room, and I inhale, craving air like
I’m starved for it. My chest is tight, my vision blurred, and I feel… I don’t
know what I feel. What are you supposed to feel after something like this?
After learning that you’re going to lose one of the most important people in
your life? Not even as a grown man am I prepared for this.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, my voice hoarse. I look up and find my father regarding me carefully.
“We haven’t known long,” he replies. “I saw the oncologist last week for the
first time, when he gave me the prognosis.”
“I should’ve known,” I tell him, barely reigning in my anger. “I could’ve been
there with you and mom.”
“I’m sorry, son,” he says. “But your mother and I needed time to process it
ourselves before we told you. I didn’t want you worrying, with everything
you’ve had going on at work - ”
I stand up in rush, shoving the plastic chair away. “I don’t care about work,”
I interrupt. “I care that you’re going to die and didn’t tell me, Dad. You are
more important than the company.”
My father sighs and I suddenly notice how sick he looks. He has always been
the strong one in our family, and now all I see is a weary man with limited
time left to live.
“Kyler, take a seat. There are a few things we need to talk about.”
I calm my breathing, wishing that Cassey was back here. One touch from her
and my heart slowed. Her presence calms me. I need her.
“You’ve made me so proud,” my father starts, “and I have no doubt that you
are ready to take my place at Knight Media. I didn’t want you worrying
about me because the legacy I have left is now yours to protect, and grow, so
that one day, it will go to your son or daughter. The next few weeks are going
to be difficult, for all of us, but I need you to make me a promise.”
His eyes glaze over and I feel my throat tighten to the point where speaking
is impossible, so I just nod. He has weeks left.
“Take care of your mother and be the man I have raised you to be.”
I swallow, and wipe a tear that slips down my face. “I promise,” I choke out.
“Good,” my father sniffs. “I have one more thing to ask of you, and then no
more mushy, ‘doom and gloom’ for today.”
“Okay.”
“Take care of Cassey.”
His request catches me off guard, despite my inability to stop thinking about
her.
“What do you mean?”
He chuckles, and shakes his head. The small smile on his face helps ease the
weight pressing down on my chest.
“Even a blind man can see how you feel about her, Ky. Don’t say I didn’t warn
you.”
I could feign ignorance, but that would be pointless. My father is right, and
he did warn me.
“Dad, I - ” I start to explain, feeling like I should apologize to my father.
Why, I don’t know, but it feels like the right thing to do.
“I knew it would happen,” he says ruefully. “I was counting on it.”
I frown, confused. “I don’t understand.”
“There was no reason for you to help Cassey with her presentation. She was
perfectly capable of doing it on her own, but I knew the minute you started
spending time with her, you would be drawn to her.”
I fiddle with my fingers in my lap, replying, “It’s nothing, we’re just - ”
“You care about her, son, I can see that, but it’s a little more than that.”
“You’re wrong,” I lie. “It hasn’t been long enough for it to be more.”
My father lets out a tired breath. “Did I ever tell you how your mother and I
met?”
I shake my head, “No.”
“I was your age,” he begins, “when we met. We were at some charity thing
with your grandparents and I spotted her at the bar. She was wearing this red
dress, all the men wanted to dance with her. I knew I didn’t stand a chance,
but the moment our eyes locked, I said to myself ‘I’m going to marry that
woman’ . Of course, when I plucked up the courage to ask her for a dance she
turned me down, and then again a second time, and a third.” I smile at the
look on my father’s face, and the love he so evidently has for my mother.
“It was months later,” he continues, “and we bumped into each other a coffee
shop, literally.” He laughs. “I spilled my coffee all over her white dress, and
after fighting in front of everyone, I gave her no choice but to go on a date
with me. A month later we were engaged, and your grandparents were furious, but your mother and I didn’t care. She became my reason to live, and the
day you were born, she gave me another reason.”
“I didn’t know that,” I say quietly. The air in the room grows thick, and the
melancholy returns. Being reminded of what we’re going to lose, and what
my father is going to leave behind is like a kick to the stomach. I don’t know
if I’m strong enough to be the man my father needs me to be. “But what does
it have to do with Cassey?”
“Time doesn’t matter. When you love someone, the way I love your mother,
you’ll know, and the amount of time it took you to get there will be irrelevant. But what does matter, is that you find the woman who will be your reason to live, who will stick with you, not during the good times but through
the hard times, and who will tell you when you’re being an ass. Find the
woman worth keeping, for more than sex, the one you can see your future
with. And when you look at her, you’ll know you’ve found her.”
My father’s words sink in, and Cassey’s face pops up. I miss her.
My father yawns and his eyes close. I stand up and squeeze his hand. “I’ll be
back later to check on you, okay, Dad?”
His eyes open briefly. “Okay. I love you, son.”
“Love you, Dad.”
~ Cassey ~
I hear the front door shut and check the clock on my bedside table. It’s just
after one in the morning and I expected Kyler to go back to his apartment,
but I hear him walk down the hallway until his tall, muscular frame fills my
doorway. My eyes follow him as he walks in and starts pulling his clothes
off. He crawls over to me, the soft moonlight illuminates his sharp and now
haunted features. He hovers over me and his eyes convey everything he’s not
saying.
“Are you okay?” I ask quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.
He shakes his head, whispering, “Make it better, Cass, just for now.”
I pull Kyler’s head down to mine and I close my mouth over his. His hands
reach for the hem of my shirt and I lift my arms so that he can pull it off me.
He palms my breasts, sucking my tongue into his mouth, and I moan. My
hands roam to Kyler’s boxer briefs, and with the help of my feet, I slide them
down his legs so that he’s naked. He kneels up, and I feel my sleep shorts disappear, silently thanking Mother Nature that my period ended. Kyler reaches
for his jeans, searching for a condom. I stop him, touching his face.
“No,” I kiss the side of his mouth. “I don’t want anything between us.”
He hesitates, asking, “Are you sure?”
Nodding, I wrap my arm around his back and shift closer to him, shivering
when my breasts touch his hard pecs. He trails his fingers down my spine
and he lowers me onto the mattress, positioning me on my side. Kneeling,
Kyler straddles my leg, and goes to wrap the other around the side of his
waist. I feel the tip of his erection at my entrance, and let out an erotic sigh
when he pushes into me slowly until he’s buried balls-deep. I grip the pillow
under my head and bite my lip as Kyler’s cock strokes me, pushing in deeper
and deeper every time. I crane my neck slightly and watch Kyler, his brows
scrunched as he watches his shaft move in and out of me. The room fills with
our joint moans, our mouths open as we pant with reckless abandon. Kyler
takes his time, and just when I think I’m going to come, he pulls out and
rubs my clit with the head of his cock before pushing back in and starting all
over again.
“Kyler,” I whimper. “Please. I need…Oh God.”
My words are swallowed as Kyler bends over and captures my mouth, cupping my face. Our tongues dance and match the pace of Kyler’s hips. One
hand wraps around my neck and the other moves down to cup my breast.
He pushes into me harder and harder, and with one final thrust, my orgasm
erupts low in my belly and spreads heat through my blood and up my spine.
My nails dig into his forearms and I keep my eyes locked on his as I shake
violently. He sears me with his gaze, connecting me to him in a way I’m not
expecting. Something new sparks to life and my racing heart contracts, pulling us closer to each other. Kyler falls over the edge with me, and quickly
moves my leg from around his waist and collapses on top of me, still shaking from his release. I welcome the weight of his body on of me, inside me,
around me. His hot breath hits my neck and I feel his shoulders shake. I hug
him to me as realization dawns.
My heart, in it’s erratic state, breaks for him again, and I don’t let go, even as
his body continues to wrack with his broken sobs. Our relationship remains
undefined, but in this moment, I don’t care. I allow Kyler to take from me
what he needs, without words. Not knowing what comes next scares me, as
does my need to tell him what I’ve started to feel for him, but I put my own
needs aside and focus only on Kyler. He stays buried in me for what feels like
an eternity, and when he rolls over onto his side, he pulls me with him. He
opens his eyes, and with them he tells me what words can’t. As our breathing
slows, I feel my heart leave my chest and make itself at home in his.