CHAPTER THIRTEEN
One Year Later
Commencement Ceremony
DEREK CLUTCHED HIS commencement certificate in hand as he walked across the stage and wondered, not for the first time, how the hell he’d managed to get through four years of school and come out on the other side with a degree.
He made his way down the stairs, following behind the line of students who’d filed through in front of him. Today was a day to celebrate, and not even the absence of his father or brother could put a damper on this moment.
As his eyes scanned the crowd, he spotted a somber-looking Finn, whose expression almost had him tripping over his own feet as he continued up the aisle. When he got closer, Derek saluted him with his certificate and tried not to be overly concerned with the lack of response he got.
When he’d called earlier that week, Finn had seemed excited to be invited to the ceremony, and asked Derek if he wanted to come to his, which was to be held later that afternoon. But as Derek moved to retake his seat, he couldn’t help but worry that something had happened. Usually Finn would be the first to flash a grin and cheer him on, but today…today he looked like a zombie.
As he took his seat, his eyes continued to move over the crowd to the faculty members who sat off to the side, and he chided himself for even looking.
There’s no reason for him to be here, he reminded himself, even as he continued to search the faces of his professors. I had him for one semester; he isn’t going to be— But he was. There, standing behind the row of professors and university personnel, was Professor Devaney.
He was dressed more conservatively than Derek ever remembered seeing him, and the fact that he was wearing a light gray suit with a very proper blue tie had Derek grinning. It wasn’t that the look didn’t suit Jordan, because hell, the guy pulled the polished look off to a fucking T. It was that he looked so…proper, so professional, which were two words Derek would never normally think of when he thought of the man who’d danced around a penthouse to Britney Spears.
Jordan’s eyes were locked on the speaker announcing the final names, but Derek wasn’t about to look away from the man until finally, as if Jordan sensed his focus, his gaze shifted and found Derek’s.
He couldn’t help himself, and aimed a wink at Jordan. At first he wondered if Jordan had caught the gesture, but when his eyes widened slightly and he quickly averted his gaze, Derek knew that he had.
Damn, it’d been way too long since he’d seen Jordan, and the man looked fucking great. He’d been secretly hoping that Jordan would turn up today, but he hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up just to have them crushed. There was no reason to expect that he would show at a commencement ceremony he wasn’t one of the teachers for. But Derek had been curious if Jordan would be there for one simple reason—him.
Derek turned back to face the stage with a big, cheesy grin. And as he sat there, not knowing the reason Jordan had showed, the fact that he was there at all meant the world to him.
* * *
JORDAN FELT AS though the tie around his neck was going to strangle him, but as he stood behind the row of economics and finance professors, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
He’d been keeping an eye on Derek’s progress over the past year. His grades, his classes, and yes—to add to my full-on stalker status—the day he would graduate. Jordan had told himself he was doing what any concerned teacher would if they were worried about the safety of their student. But as he stood there willing the heat on his cheeks to subside, he admitted to himself that this was about a hell of a lot more than concern for a student.
He’d come there today with two goals in mind.
To see a student he knew had fought tooth and nail through school finally graduate. And his other reason was much more selfish.
He’d wanted to see Derek. Plain and simple.
Throughout the year, they’d run into each other a couple of times, and it had been cordial and polite, but for the most part Jordan hadn’t seen him in any capacity other than teacher and student—just as they were right now.
As the ceremony came to a close and everyone stood to go and greet those they were there to see, Jordan’s eyes cut through the crowd to where Derek was getting to his feet.
Straightening his suit jacket, Jordan told himself this was an appropriate setting for them to meet up and talk. Surely it wouldn’t look odd for him to approach and congratulate a former student on his accomplishment.
He greeted several of his colleagues and wove his way through the crowd, heading toward the tall man he could see wearing his cap and gown. Just as he was about to say his name, though, Daniel Finley slipped between him and his target, and Jordan came to a stop.
Shit. He looked around, trying to see if Brantley was there with his man or if… Okay, it appeared Daniel was on his own. Thank God. Jordan wasn’t sure he was that great of an actor. As it was, he was now turning on his heel to walk away from the two students he’d once found so interesting. He needed distance from them, and not to be under any kind of scrutiny. Lord only knew what Derek would do if that wink he’d thrown his way earlier was any indication.
He’d just catch up with him later.
* * *
“WELL, HELL. WHO would’ve thought that Derek Pearson would stick with school long enough to actually graduate?”
Derek turned around, recognizing Finn’s voice in a second, and pulled him into a tight hug. “Hey, fuck you, man. I can stick with things.”
When Finn pulled back, he looked Derek up and down and asked, “Since when? The only two things you’ve ever stuck with is running and smoking, which seems kind of counterproductive, but…”
Derek chuckled. “At least it proves that I can stick to something.”
“Yeah, but only things you enjoy.”
“Well, what’s the point of doing something you don’t like?” He paused and then flashed a grin. “I use the same motto in my sex life.”
Finn laughed, but the smile that crossed his lips didn’t quite reach his eyes and had Derek instantly concerned. Something was off. Finn was always the jovial one of the two of them, but this guy in front of him, he was trying to put on a good front, and it wasn’t fooling Derek for a second.
“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Derek asked, then looked over Finn’s shoulders to see Jordan’s back as he walked away from them and into the crowd of students.
Fuck. He’d really wanted to talk to Jordan, but he wasn’t sure how to do that without alerting Finn. Then there’d be a million questions on why he needed to speak to Posh Spice, and really, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t be able to finally spill all his secrets.
Hell, maybe that was what he needed to do. Go and get shitfaced with Finn and finally tell him everything that had been going on with his life. Maybe then Finn would feel comfortable telling him whatever was bothering him.
“Not much. I have my ceremony then I was going to go home,” Finn said, and the tone of his voice sent a feeling of apprehension through Derek.
“Do you want to go and grab a couple of beers and chat after you get done?”
Finn’s eyes found his, and the pain inside them had Derek taking a step toward his friend. “What’s going on, Danny boy? You’re starting to freak me out. Is it your mom? Katrina? Is everyone okay?”
Finn nodded quickly at that, easing Derek’s concerns over his family and health.
“Then what is it? I know something’s wrong. You could never hide anything worth a shit.”
As they headed toward the auditorium doors, Finn shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded. “Yeah. I was coming to…” He paused as they stepped out into the sun-filled summer day, and when they moved under one of the pavilion tents that had been erected, Finn toed the grass underfoot and finally looked Derek in the eye. “I wanted to see you graduate and…and to say goodbye.”
That brought Derek to a fucking halt. “Goodbye?” he asked, turning to face Finn, who was grinding his teeth like he wanted to scream.
“Yeah.”
Finn went to walk away from him, but Derek reached for his arm, stopping him. “Wait up. Where the fuck are you going that you have to say goodbye? I know we haven’t been real close lately, but—”
“I’m going to Chicago.” The words were clipped and cold, and Finn’s expression offered no explanation.
What the hell was going on? “Am I allowed to ask why?”
Finn shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks and tilted his head to the side. “You can. I’m not sure I know the answer, though. Look, this is hard enough. Don’t make it any harder.”
“Then help me to understand, because the Finn I know wouldn’t decide to just up and leave his family.”
Finn’s eyes met his then, and the anger that had been cool and collected suddenly roared to life. “Really? You’re going to say that to me?”
The force behind that question immediately had Derek’s spine straightening. “Well, it’s true. They’re here, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, they are. You’re also here, Derek. Though God knows what the hell you’ve been doing these past few months or where you’ve been.”
Derek tried to think of an appropriate response, but since he’d been lying to his friend, he really had nothing to say in his own defense.
“You know what,” Finn said. “Just forget it. I didn’t come here to fight with you. You have your own life, and it’s clearly time I went and got one of my fucking own.”
Totally shocked by the turn of events and the angry stranger Finn had morphed into, Derek lowered his voice and asked, “Is the professor going with you?”
Finn’s eyes went flat at the mention of his boyfriend, and his jaw ticked.
Fuck, okay. That’s answer enough. Obviously something had gone down there. Deciding the least he could do was act the supportive friend, Derek tapped his certificate on his hand and asked, “So. Chicago, huh?”
Finn nodded, but he looked like he wanted to vomit.
“When do you think you’ll be back?”
His buddy shrugged and then said, “When the program is over, I guess. Two years. That’s what he said, anyway.”
“Hayes?”
This time Finn nodded. “Yeah. Fucking Hayes.”
“You don’t have to go, you know.”
“Yeah, but now I kinda want to. Honestly, I never want to see his face again.”
“But—”
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I just wanted to say goodbye and see you before I left.”
“And when’s that?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Are you serious?” When Finn nodded, Derek took his cap off and ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus. Well, thanks for stopping by.”
“You don’t have to be a dick about it.”
But he did. Because if he wasn’t being a dick he might break down and tell Finn that he didn’t want him to go, and, more importantly, that he was sorry he’d let their friendship fall the fuck apart.
He didn’t tell Finn any of that, though. Instead, he held his hand out and, when Finn took it, pulled him into a hug that made Derek’s heart break a little.
“Well, don’t be a stranger, Danny boy.”
“Ha. You keep saying that to me. And I won’t. There’s email and text, you know.”
“Yeah…I know.”
“Hey? Mom wanted to be here today, but she had to work. She told me to give you this.”
Finn held a box out, and when Derek opened it there was a wooden plaque with The people who stand out as special in your life are usually put in your path for a reason carved into it. He traced his fingers over them, and when he looked up, Finn shrugged. “She’s sappy—what can I say?”
“Nah, you’re lucky to have her.”
“Yeah, I know. Okay, well, I’m gonna head out. Congratulations, man. I hope you get that gym by the beach you talked about.”
Derek laughed and shut the lid on the box. “Me too. Good luck in Chicago.”
Finn kicked a stone on the ground and didn’t respond. He merely gave a tight smile and then turned and walked away.
As Derek watched him go, he thought of the simple words inside the box and wondered if he and Finn would ever cross paths again.
* * *
IT WAS LATE afternoon and Jordan was about five minutes away from stripping out of the God-awful suit he’d worn and slipping into some shorts and a tank before pouring himself a glass of Merlot.
He’d finally gotten home after the never-ending commencement ceremony, and had wisely avoided all contact with Derek after that one foiled attempt. It was best that things end this way between them. He’d seen Derek through, from start to finish, and somewhere in there along the way become friendly with the guy, but that was it. It was over now. Derek had moved out, graduated, and would start his life and move forward from there.
Just like I need to do, Jordan told himself as he removed his jacket and threw it over his couch. When his cell phone started ringing inside the front pocket, he dug it out and almost dropped it as the word He-Man flashed across the screen.
As if he’d conjured Derek out of thin air, the guy was calling him, and Jordan wasn’t sure if he should let it go to voicemail or… Hell, who am I kidding? “Hello?”
“Hi,” Derek replied, and Jordan wondered when his cock had become a slave to the man’s voice. Every time he heard it, it stood to rigid attention. “You free right now?”
Jordan’s pulse raced at the question, and he wasn’t sure why. It was innocent enough, but front and center in his mind was the fact that, as of a couple of hours ago, Derek was no longer a student where he worked. Which meant all of the excuses he’d used over the years to keep his distance no longer applied.
“Yes. I’m free.”
“Can you let me up, then?”
Jordan whirled around to face the elevator as if Derek was stepping off it and into his condo as they spoke. “You’re here?”
“I’m downstairs, yeah. Is that okay?”
Jordan tightened his fingers around the phone as he walked over to the access panel of the elevator and pressed the open button. He watched on the small monitor as Derek stepped inside and then looked up into the camera mounted on the wall of the elevator. That was when he asked again, “Is that okay, Jordan?”
Jordan saw his lips move on the camera and knew that if Derek took the elevator up to his condo then everything between them would change. That, however, wasn’t enough to stop him from replying, “Yes. Come to me.”