Chapter Five
Molly
I went up to my room and watched out the window until he was out of sight. I think I really hurt his feelings. As soon as I said no and I saw his face, I wanted to take it back. I like the Brock who is always amused and I hated being the person who took that away from him. I felt mean, plain and simple.
I blame this on Megan, and of course if Megan is to blame then Jake has to shoulder some of it as well. I told them both I didn’t want a boyfriend. If they hadn’t felt compelled to hook me up with hot-guy Brock, I would be ignorantly going through life, not even knowing he existed. And then he would still be walking around with his amused expression instead of looking sad and hurt.
I mean, come on…it’s not like I was his only choice. He’s gorgeous, of the drop-dead variety. He could go to the club alone and leave with three women on his arm if he wanted to, I’m sure. He could leave with three women with two good kidneys each. That’s five more kidneys than I have. He doesn’t know how lucky he is that I said no. However he looked at it, even if he only left with one healthy chick, he was getting double the kidney. I was doing him a public service, really. That way, when he found out about my lack of kidneys and the cancer on the one I had left, he’d be spared breaking up with me like Zack, my last boyfriend did. I realized then that I hadn’t been able to see him for ten minutes, yet here I was still staring out the window.
I continued my silent rant, but threw myself on the bed where it was more comfortable instead. I lay there and went back and forth between, “I did the right thing. I don’t want a boyfriend right now. I don’t want to set myself up again. Guys aren’t good at dating girls with cancer. I don’t want to put him in that position,” and, “What the hell am I thinking?”
Finally I pulled myself up off the bed and out of my pity party. I dragged myself into a hot shower. I was still freezing. Maybe that’s what happened; my brain was frozen over when he asked me out. Yes, that’s it; I’ll just call him now and say, “Hi Brock, this is Molly. I’d love to go out with you. I’m sorry I said no earlier, but my brain was frozen.” That should do it. I guess I wasn’t quite finished with the pity party.
By the time Megan got back I was asleep. At least that’s what she thought, so she left me alone and at least for the night I didn’t have to explain myself. In reality I was playing over the scene with Zack in my head, the night he sat at my bedside in the hospital and told me that all of this cancer stuff was really just too serious for him. It wasn’t me, it was him. Hey, at least he didn’t do it in a text message.
I made it out of the room the next morning still in luck. Megan was taking advantage of her Saturday and sleeping in. When I left for work, she still hadn’t stirred. I considered taking her pulse, but if she woke up while I was doing it, it might look a little weird.
Cassie was waiting for me when I got there, and the fact that today was going to be the first day I got to work the coffee machine on my own, really seemed to excite her.
“Hey! There’s my ardent student.”
Ardent? I’ll bet she’s English major. It might just be me, but I think I would have gone with eager, or zealous…maybe even devoted. Ardent just wasn’t an impressive word if you asked me, but what did I know? I’m a liberal arts major.
“Hi Cassie!” I said, trying to sound ardent.
She showed me a few of the trickier moves on the machine, and by noon I was flying through those mochas and lattes and even getting the milks right. If my arm were longer I would have patted myself right on the back. I was so into the art of creating coffee that I didn’t even see Megan walk in. She yelled my name, causing me to literally jump in the air.
“Hey, Meggs! Why are we yelling?” I asked her.
She laughed and said, “Because I said your name three times. You were so focused on your coffee making.”
“It takes concentration to do it right,” I said, embarrassed that she had caught me so focused on a coffee machine. “What are you doing here? Did you just get up and need a cup of coffee?”
She laughed, “Okay, I slept in a little bit. We didn’t all go home and go to bed early though. How was your walk home last night?”
“Cold,” I said.
“Really, just cold? Isn’t Brock a sweetheart?”
“He’s a doll,” I told her.
“Molly, don’t be sarcastic.”
“I’m not, I swear. I really think he’s a doll. I kind of need to get back to work though, so did you want a coffee…or?”
“No, thank you. Jake and I are going to try out that new club Aqua tonight. You want to go?”
“Um-no, I don’t think so,” I said.
I was remembering Brock talking about that guy Joe wanting him to play there.
“Aw, come on Molly. What are you going to do? You’ll just sit in the dorm room alone all night. Please! You’re turning into a hermit.” Megan made a pleading face at me, one that she knew I couldn’t say no to.
“Molly! Two orders waiting!”
It was Cassie, and I was disappointing my teacher.
“Okay, Meggs. I have to get back to work. I’ll go tonight, now scoot before I lose my job.”
Megan grinned, “Thanks Molly! You’ll have a great time, I promise.”
“Yeah, yeah…Get out!” I told her with a smile.
I made it through the day with only screwing up one order. Cassie was trying to be supportive, while telling me what I needed to do better at the same time. I was trying to keep a straight face. Maybe she wasn’t just an English major; maybe she was going to be an English teacher. At the end of her speech she said, “I can show you the basics, but you’ll have to find your own rhythm.” What I saw was a blind Chinese man, who said, “I can only point the way, Grasshopper. You must walk the path yourself.” Well, it would be funny if you had grown up with your grandmother who still watched old re-runs of Kung-Fu every weekend.
Megan had left me a note telling me she had gone to get Jake when I got home. She said that they were going to eat and then would pick me up around eight. It gave me time to shower and get dressed. It was funny, or sad, that I put on the first outfit I picked out and left it on tonight when I was going to the club, yet for a football game I changed three times. Could the difference be Brock, perhaps? Shut-up Molly!
I was ready to go by the time Megan got there. As I climbed in the backseat, Jake looked back at me and said, “Why won’t you go out with Brock?”
Megan closed the car door and said, “Jake, leave her alone.”
“It’s okay, Meg. I can handle him,” I told her. “I don’t want to go out with him.” So there. I gave myself points for not sticking out my tongue.
“What’s wrong with him?” Jake said.
“Jake really, Leave her alone.”
“There’s nothing wrong with him,” I said. “I just don’t want to go out with anyone right now. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, Molly,” he said it with a sigh. “I just think you’d really like him.”
“Maybe you should go out with him,” I told him with a grin. In true, girl-got-my-back form, Megan said, “Well, they do already live together.” Then we both laughed and Jake pouted the rest of the way to the club.
I had heard about this place; the college crowd really loved it. I’m not a big fan of clubs. I don’t drink; I can’t really because of my meds, and I’m not a big crowd girl anyway. I prefer smaller, more intimate settings. I know I really should be thirty-five instead of nineteen. My grandma used to tell me that all the time and Megan does still. From the outside it looked like fun. It was the inside of a converted warehouse that was red brick and still had an original old wrought-iron fire escape running up the side. The Aqua sign was blue neon and there was also a giant neon martini glass with a giant green olive stuck in it.
We paid our cover and got our hands stamped and went inside. The place was huge, and the first floor had a massive sunken dance floor and a separate drinking and dining room. People were dressed really nice. I looked down at my little black dress with the light blue skirt and hoped I was dressed okay. Megan saw me looking at myself and said, “You look great, Molly. I wish you knew how pretty you are. Everyone thinks so.” I smiled at her, because what else was I going to say to that?
“Thanks, Meg,” I told her. Megan took me by the hand and said, “Dance with me Molly!”
I looked out towards the dance floor where there were about a bazillion people, and then back at Jake.
“Isn’t that your job, Jake?” I asked him.
“She asked you first. I’m going to get something to drink. You girls want anything?”
We both told him no, and Megan continued pulling on my arm until we made it to the dance floor. There was a hip hop song playing, one that Megan and I used to dance to on our sleepovers and when she’d come stay with me when I was too sick to go to school. For a few minutes I forgot everything, except for just being with my best friend and having fun. For a few minutes…that was when I saw him. I looked back at Megan and she was grinning from ear to ear. Damn them! I’d been set up. Brock strode in the door like he owned the place. I would have sworn every female head turned to look at him as he did. He walked up to where Jake sat and they did their stupid boy bump thing. Jake wasn’t surprised to see him, and neither was Megan. I looked at her accusingly, but she pretended she didn’t notice. She just kept dancing.